What the fuck is going on?
***
It had been a while since Hange and the others had left. Our conversation never continued, an aim that was better left for revision in my head. Levi was unsuspecting of what Hange had in mind, though every glance he spared me felt as though there were a grueling curiosity brewing beneath them, ever since my conversation with the section commander. He wanted to ask me what it was about, I could practically sense the urge leaking from his pores.
But with how our previous talk went, I'd assume that he wouldn't want to speak with me in case things escalate further, words that are to be exchanged between us in the future being the bare minimal and then carrying on with our doings without further interaction.
I wandered the Ehrmich barracks the next morning, feeling like I was missing something. My mind was so overridden by everything that had occurred in the past few weeks, I couldn't even remember what day it was. I let out a subtle yawn, a hand brought up to cover my mouth before wiping away a tear that had tickled my cheek as it slid down to my chin. It was an hour after dawn, a grey sky outside letting minimal sunlight peak between thick and thin layers of clouds.
The grassy patches that grew between cobblestones gleaming from the morning dew, the sun rising ever so slowly it wasn't even looking over the wall yet. It was a nice morning, not too chilly and not too hot, even though that winter nip was becoming more noticeable with each passing day. I stopped to gaze out a window, watching a breeze play with a leaf along the abandoned streets. I wondered if Hange and the others were alright, hoping that the titans weren't too much of an issue when trying to find the source of our answers. I wondered if Sarj wasn't being too much of a pain after the Commander insisted he took the pup with him to Trost.
I sigh, eyeing a store owner waddle outside with a sign that looked much too big for his scrawny stature. Making out the wording from up here on the second floor, I notice it was some type of goods store, crystals and all sorts of trinkets supposedly lining the shelves that were tucked away inside. Maybe that's how I will kill my time until Erwin sends a soldier to fetch me, observing shops that occupied the many buildings of downtown Ehrmich.
Or would it be a better idea to stay within barracks walls, saving the soldier from searching the entirety of the district just to find me when it could possibly be too late? I hadn't even thought to bring my gear, hoping that Erwin would provide a spare set for the mission, because what would the point of my presence be if I wasn't going to be of any use?
I thought it'd be good to get out of the barracks, I was sick of being cooped up in cold stone structures with no flavor at all. It would only be an hour or two, after all. And a little walk never hurt anyone, so I backed away from the window swiping my eyes across the view once more before departing from the glass. The halls of this place were definitely a lot more appealing to the eye than the Headquarters in Rose, thick green curtains similar to the ones Erwin had hanging in his office framed the windows, barely brushing against the ground of stained wood.
Descending the stairs, the corridors were deathly still, but with a calming sense touching the air, I push forward for the front door and am immediately met with a muggy breeze. Perhaps my temperature was playing with me again, breathing in the air you could practically taste the snow in it but you couldn't feel it, the air disgustingly warm.
I've always loved winter. The idea of cozying up in a blanket in front of a fire with a hot drink and a book always seemed to be the ideal life for me. Maybe even a special person, a soulmate, if you will, accompanying me with occasional remarks about their own fiction just to voice their thoughts. A gentle reminder I wasn't alone. The rain outside with soft sounds clinking against the window in the middle of a night. The calm before the storm, all eventually leading to falling asleep on the couch, book in hand as my thumb barely kept my page saved. The smell of burning wood, a therapeutic scent that always sent my senses in a whirl of peace.
I'd give up many things to live one night just like that. I'd give up more for it to be a permanent lifestyle. The dreams of how I wanted to live always were out of reach, teasing me with its taunting temptation. A dream, is what it will remain.
I walk down the streets, my attire not exactly helping with the warm nor the cold. A casual pair of black pants paired with a white t shirt, a small satchel hidden beneath a tan poncho, my hands running through my hair in order to either make it look better or worse. Somewhere on my figure, I had a dagger tucked away for precaution, just in case something bad happened. My expression distorted into one of annoyance, mind still swinging back to that irritating reminder of how I wasn't sure what day it was. An anniversary, of some sort? I internally groan at myself, facepalming at my lack of attention on recent days. A scent of incense filled my nostrils, my thoughts momentarily hushed to enjoy the smell of burning cedar.
An amazing way to wake up the senses, dull them down as you enter a state of peace. I've always been fond of nice smelling things, more than other people. It draws me in, a magnet of sorts. Venturing off the street I enter a store, a cozy little room laying under a dark shadow, blanketing the items across each shelf. It was a mystical place to say the least. The shelves had small items sprawled across them, such as wooden carvings of animals or handcrafted leather cover books, each cover of each book detailed with delicate patterning of sorts, including forests or vague images of animals.
Masks, cloaks and jewelry were on display throughout the place, the vast variety of masks catching my eye. I bend down slightly, getting closer to a mask that I had taken a particular liking to, admiring it. It was similar to what people stereotyped as a demon, though it was pure white with what looked to be brown spotting, almost like a rustic effect. The mouth was pried open from the large horn like canines on both the upper and lower jaw. Two horns protruded symmetrically from its forehead, the white turning to a grey towards the points. The brows of the mask were pushed down, an angry stare intended from its expression.
"It's a very nice piece, isn't it?" An elderly lady smiled at me. I glance at her in surprise, her presence being so sudden I didn't realize she was there.
"It is, I've never seen anything like it before." I reply back, carefully picking it up and raising my eyebrows in revelation at how light it felt compared to how it looked.
"A unique mask made by an unknown clan from the Eastern side of Maria. They now reside in the Northern part of Rose, their family names disclosed to no one but themselves." The lady explains, a smile on her face through it all. "Delicate, mysterious and very obviously talented. Most of the masks here are crafted by those very hands."
"An unknown clan you say?" I ask, looking from the mask to her, her silver hair pulled back into a low bun that rested at the bottom of her head.
"Supposedly a family that might have migrated here two thousand years ago, before the walls appeared. The bloodline has been here ever since the reign of King Fritz." She tells me, smacking her lips together every few moments.
"Anything about loyalty?" I ask hurriedly, my hopes through the roof for answers to the empty book. She shook her head, my hope deflating just as fast as it appeared.
"Just a family from elsewhere. A land free of titans, countless lifetimes ago." She looked at me with a crooked grin. "My, you truly are a beauty!" She exclaims, wobbling in my direction. I step toward her, making her journey that little bit easier as she leans in to examine me.
"Thank you, ma'am." I say grateful for the compliment. Her hand hovered over my bicep, both my arms barely peeking out from behind the poncho.
"Very defined muscle, well taken care of." She smiles at me, I don't think had stopped smiling since she began speaking with me. "Keep yourself well taken care of. With how you carry yourself I can tell you're military personnel." She says. I blinked in surprise, was I really that obvious, even in everyday attire?
"I plan to." I smile at her before she grabbed my wrist and brought me to the counter, the mask still in hand. "Wait, let me put the mask back-"
"If you want it, I'll give you a discount." She says, joy evident in her voice. She seemed like a really nice lady, and she overlooked my occupation as a soldier, even as a Sina resident she chose to ignore it. Supposedly, occupations were something that was never overlooked on the inner walls, the nosiness was never a good thing either, people always prying into business that never was their concern. I learnt to ignore it, walk away without a single breath in their direction.
"Oh that's not really necessary!" I say, placing the mask down on the counter and pulling out my wallet. "I'll pay for the full price, it's really no issue."
"Nonsense, I'll add in a box of incense for free too, you seem tense." She says, reaching under the counter pulling a box of small triangular cones, the words across the box reading out sandalwood. "You seem like a sandalwood woman to me, I sure hope the scent isn't an issue." She grins.
"No, no it's not an issue. What is an issue is your generosity, I can't take all of this without paying the full price, ma'am. It's not right, I'll feel guilty." She waved me off, hushing me instantly as I shrink back into the safe depths of my poncho.
"Don't argue with an old woman, it's not a good look." She points at me with a serious expression on her face. The sudden change in her face made me blink in either shock or concern, I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. My mouth opened and closed, though not a sound was emitted from me. I shook my head at myself, questioning whether this lady was sane or not until she laughed. "I'm just teasing, I was like you when I was your age. Stubborn, insistent. Still am, I'm glad that still sticks around these days."
She had a sense of familiarity surrounding her. Now that I actually paid attention to the atmosphere, it was a homey feel. She was a comfortable woman to be around, a joy, great company is what it felt like. I felt myself somehow drawn to her, like I've seen her before, the more I looked at her the more familiar she looked.
"I'm sorry, have we met before?" I ask, pulling out enough money to pay for the two items on the counter. I place the money down, wallet placed back into my pocket as I eyed her, watched her observe me before her gaze averted to the money.
"What's your mothers name?" She asked, her elderly fingers only taking a small portion of the money before she pushed the rest and the items towards me. I raised an eyebrow in confusion, perplexed by the sudden change in topic.
"Elke L/N." I answer simply. She looked up at me, a gentle smile on her face.
"Oh you look so much like her when she was young!" She exclaims happily. Her eyes gleamed in the little sunlight that peered through the entrance and the windows. "Do tell her I say hello, it's been twenty years since I last saw her." She says.
"You know my mother?" I ask, watching as she busied herself with fixing up some accessories on display in front of her.
"I know your mother very well. We were quite close, it's been a very long time since I last saw you too, dear Y/N. I haven't seen you since you were a child." She explains. "It's simply been much too long, so visit more often! I'd love to listen to some stories about yourself and your family." She says, giving me a large toothy smile. I frowned subtly at her sudden dismissal, her answer to my question being unsatisfactory.
I'll be thinking about this a lot longer than I'd prefer, trying to piece together things that have no foundation. Am I overlooking something very crucial?
"Go on now, take the mask and the incense and go spend that money you were going to give me on some breakfast." She turns on her heel and hobbles back through to the back room. She left me baffled, questioning many things and not many of those questions had answers. I grab the two items and leave her one more note before walking out, my eyes roaming over the mask in hand.
It was so nice to look at in the early sunlight, the spots that freckled across the creamy white base were blood red, the paint likely made with ink and a variation of other combined paints. I tuck it away under the poncho, into the satchel, unsure as to what I'd use a mask for. The incense I might split between myself and my superiors, I know they could use the relaxing scent of such a fine source.
I decided to take a walk down the street a few stores, walking into the one I had observed the man with the sign outside not too long ago. The displays were colorful, full of range and bringing that little glimmer to such a dull world. I hum to myself, pacing to the crystals and deciding to pick some out for a type of memorabilia. I settled on picking out stones that resembled similarities to the Levi squads hair color, taking extra care to pick out colors that suited best for their personalities as well.
I resorted to simple stones, a rose quartz for Petra, a tigers eye for Eld, amber for Oluo and obsidian for Gunther. I was about to walk up to the counter and meet the old man from before, before a gleam caught my eye. I turn my head, eyes observing the singular stone that sat soundly on the end of a durable string.
A sapphire necklace.
Of course the item had been a little pricey, combined with the other four stones I decided to pick for the late squad, but fortunately money was never really an issue for the family. We've some source of income, I wasn't sure from who though, and it didn't include the generosity of the people who went into my parents bakery and bought their food. It was a mystery for both myself and my brother.
I decided I'd get that necklace for Levi, a gift. The color was similar to the color of his eyes, that silver-blue that was like the depths of a river on a cloudy day. I picked it up carefully, bringing it up to eye level and turning in the direction of the window so I can watch as the light shines through it. The stone wasn't a large stone, but sapphire was a rare one. It was the size of the tip of my thumb, reflecting different shades of such a gorgeous blue. I turn around, taking the jewels to the counter and placing them down gently.
The old man admired the selection, eyes falling on the necklace before a small smile appeared on his face. He picked it up to observe for himself, eyes reflecting the stone like an endless mirror.
"Sapphires make great gifts." He worded. I nodded in agreement, admiring the gem with him, in a subtle state of awe.
"Yes, I'm getting it for someone." I reply back as he puts it into a small velvet bag, the other stones into a separate one.
"They must be a special person to you, then. You wouldn't spend that much money on someone who didn't, would you?" He asked, shaky hands taking their time as he pulled out a pen and paper and began calculating the total cost of the items.
"He... he does mean a lot to me." I say quietly, watching the numbers he etched onto the paper. This had me thinking. What did he mean to me? And with how things are going, what did I mean to him?
The man told me the cost of the crystals, to which I happily pull out that amount of money along with a little extra.
"You have yourself a lovely day, young one. Thank you for the tip." He smiles. I return it with a slight nod before taking the two velvet bags and walking out, into the streets that were gradually filling with more and more people. I decided it'd be a good idea to grab something nice and decent to eat before I headed back to the barracks. I wander, looking for a small food store that looked appetizing or had a good menu, before I felt someone deliberately bump into me. I grimace, gaining back my balance before I turn my head to look over my shoulder getting ready to tell them to watch where they're going, before my mouth opened slightly in a perplexed manner.
"Aren't you supposed to be in Stohess?" I ask, my eyes staring into the light brown ones in front of me, a curtain of dirty blonde hair falling over them. He simply shrugged, a smirk spreading across his features.
"I wouldn't say I'm supposed to be in Stohess, my friend. I have the same right to travel as you do, don't I?" He replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Besides, what type of person greets their nameless friend without even a hello?" I stood up straight, turning my body to face him as my eyebrows drew together, my arms folding under my poncho.
"I highly doubt you being here is merely a coincidence, especially at the same time as me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're stalking me." I deadpan, his arms raising up in a gesture of surrender.
"Woah, no need to make assumptions such as that! If anything, you could be stalking me." He says trying to turn it around on me. I raise an eyebrow, my dead expression not faltering even a fraction.
"I've never heard such an awful counter until now." The streets worked around us, barely a wisp of anything grazing my shoulder as many people walked passed. "Besides, what type of person in the food industry needs to travel this far anyway?"
"I'm that type of person-"
"No excuses can make up for this creepy behavior of yours. My parents own a bakery in Wall Rose, they get their ingredients locally. You as a Sina resident should have more privileges than that, correct?" I say, playing with his thoughts. He rolled his eyes with a sigh.
"Fine. You got me, I followed you." He admits, though there wasn't a trace of guilt in his tone. His gaze never faltered, watching me like a cat stalking a mouse from the shadows, his look felt as though he were trying to belittle me. Make me feel small, though, with just how stubborn I am I refuse to give him such an achievement.
"Why?" I ask instantly afterwards. "What made you feel so obligated to following me from one district to another?"
"You intrigue me." He says.
"I'm merely a woman, just like many other people within these walls." I stare blankly.
"But you're a soldier-"
"Just like many other women in the military." I interrupt. I didn't blink once, I had to display some sort of confidence, that confidence showing through a blank stare and keeping myself grounded. He stared long and hard at me, his tongue swiping along the front of his teeth under his lips. "Go home, sir. I think it's safe to assume your presence here is no longer necessary." I turn on my heel, pulling the hood of my poncho over my head and begin walking away.
"But-" His hand grazed my arm, my reaction instantly being grabbing the dagger I had lodged in my pants and holding it to his hand that hovered over my arm. The blade barely peeked out from beneath the fabric of the thick cloak, but a slight glint caught his eyes and he looked me dead in the eye.
"You wouldn't dare." He says lowly, I shrug nonchalantly, maintaining the eye contact.
"You'd be surprised by the things I tend to not care about." I reply back, venom in my tone.
"Woah, woah, what's going on here?" I hear a familiar voice. I keep the eye contact, bringing my dagger back to my side and subtly slipping it back to where it came from.
"Ida." I acknowledge, glaring at the man in front of me.
"Y/N?" She asked, her steps announcing themselves amongst the civilians around us. I hoped to god this creep didn't catch my name over all the chatter. "Sir, I'm going to need to ask you to leave."
"Come on, we were just talking-" He tried reasoning with her as she began pushing us apart.
"Sir, for your own safety, leave." She demands. His gaze switched between both Ida and I, his focus not settling on one particular person and rather trying to keep his peripheral open. He scoffed slightly before turning around and storming away. Ida turned back towards me after a moment of watching him disappear into the now raging crowd, a smile gracing her features.
"Y/N." She voices. My eyes averted from the crowd to the blonde in front of me. Her hazel eyes were bright and happy as they laid on me. "How have you been? What was that guy doing?" She asks pulling me into a hug. I relax in her arms, my muscles aching from how tense my body was. I sigh, giving into the embrace and wrapping my own arms around her. I shook my head into her shoulder.
"Just a strange man." I reply back simply, a sigh soon escaping my mouth afterwards. "What are you doing? Where are the others?" I question as she pulls away from me, her Garrison jacket hanging off her shoulders. She shrugged, the gesture meaning she hadn't a clue of the rest of my brothers squad.
"They're around somewhere, we all just got off shift, late night to morning shifts have them all knackered so they're probably crawling into bed. What about you? What are you doing?" She asked, linking her arm with mine before we continued down the street.
"I'm killing time. I'm not in Ehrmich everyday, and I may need to get some ingredients to help with the Price family." I answer, watching as eyes briefly settled on us before they averted quickly. The fear was concrete in their eyes, their bodies speaking for the civilians minds.
"No, no, I meant what are you doing here? I thought you'd be out dealing with the titans." She said.
"Oh, didn't you hear?" I ask in surprise. She looked at me confused, oblivious to what had happened at our recent expedition. "I nearly died during the 57th, if it wasn't for Levi-"
"Oh, the captain! Humanity's strongest, eh?" She smirked with such peculiar intent as her finger came up to poke me in the arm, completely ignoring the statement of my near death experience. I roll my eyes, dreading this conversation with many people before and many of the others if she decided to spread some rumors. "I didn't know you had it in you."
"Now what's that supposed to mean?" I retort, clearly offended as I glare at her smiling face, the mischief morphing into an innocent facade.
"Nothing nothing, I just didn't think you'd manage to make friends with someone who had been rumored to be cold and dangerous." She says to me mockingly. I raise an eyebrow, picking apart her tone that had an undertone to it I couldn't quite put my finger on.
I had told her and the others about my friendship with Levi in the past, so why is it such a surprise now? Am I missing something, am I really that clueless and keep overlooking something that everyone else clearly sees with no difficulty whatsoever?
"You'll figure it out one day, Y/N. But it seems today isn't that day." She sighs. "Such a pity, I was looking forward to the stories." She mumbles to herself. I watch her intently, usually I'd be able to pick all of them apart with such ease, and they knew this. Had they developed a new way of averting my thoughts, throw off my body language reading ability so I wasn't able to figure them out?
"Ida-" I begin before she turns me around, intending to go in the opposite direction. She shooed me away, in the direction of the barracks a smile on her face.
"Go back, I'll come by with the others when they wake up! We have a surprise for you!" She insists. I look at her, a mischief look playing across her face as she giggles to herself, nodding her head in my direction. "Go, I'll bring some food later." She beams.
"What are you up to, Ida?" I ask, obviously suspicious of her antics.
"No questions!" She yells back as she disappears into the crowd. I stare in her direction, lost, unable to process what just happened.
Suddenly not feeling hungry anymore, I do as I was told and allow my legs to carry me back to the barracks. Ida's words sent my mind into even more of a flurry than they already were, and I found myself drowning in my thoughts once again. I strode through the streets, numbing out the thoughts the best I could, my only aim to walk back to the barracks which was barely a block away.
I walk up the stairs and in through the front door, wanting to fetch myself a cup of tea. I pace through the corridor and into the main kitchen. Walking around the corner, I freeze making eye contact with captain. He stared at me, his look softening with each second that passed.
"Y/N-" He begins before I shook my head.
"I just came for a cup of tea, I can wait until you go if you'd like." I reply before he took a breath through his nose.
"Y/N-" He repeats. I sigh, relaxing my noticeably tense body.
"What is it?" I ask watching as he steps toward me and put his hand in his pocket. I watch his hand, his fingers pulling out a thin chain bracelet with a small scouts crest embedded with small chips of emeralds. He gently held it out to me, watching me gaze at it.
"Here." He says, insisting I take it. My eyes snapped to his, eyebrows furrowing as I reluctantly bring my hand up and take the bracelet into my hands, too scared to handle it too roughly in case I broke it.
"What's this for?" I ask, not wanting to take such a valuable piece of jewelry. He eyed me in surprise, his eyebrows soon following my own as he furrowed them slight.
"Have you forgotten?" He asked. I look at him in confusion, my face clearly expressing my obliviousness to the event of today.
"Have I forgotten what?" I ask, baffled. He rolled his eyes, taking the bracelet from my hand and unclipped it, gently bringing my hand up to him with his cold hands. He clipped it around my wrist, leave the crest in view as he looked up at me from below his curtains of raven hair.
"Happy birthday, Mon Coeur."
***
You're 24 now 😍
Hello!!
I had a request last chapter for longer future chapters! So I've taken those words and hope to exceed my average word count of 3000 words with an extra 1.5k words!
I sure hope this is long enough for you guys 🫶🏻🫶🏻
The chance to get your own character in the story (an OC of your very own creation!) is still up, I REALLY need those requests in so I can choose! They will have semi-important roles that you will find out about in a few chapters!!
Now about future chapters, there will be an interval between season 2 and season 3 where I will be writing chapters away from the main plot line of AOT, purely for character development! Season 3 chapters, especially the Royal Government arc (one of my personal favorite arcs bc grey shirt Levi >>>>>>) will be based on the MANGA!
So this means the scene between Levi and (SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 AND 3) Historia when he was convincing her to become queen. If you know, you know!
Anyways I sure hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Aishiteru!!!!
jazz<3