( cw // accidental disordered eating )
"there you are," jace realized as he walked towards george. the park was crowded, presumably because people liked to be outside on nice summer days. how crazy?
george mimicked, "here i am." he could already feel the awkwardness forming in the air around them.
jace did that awful nervous laugh. "i thought you were gonna blow me off," he half-joked.
"me? i would never," george claimed. he definitely would.
"sure..." jace dragged out the word sarcastically. that was something clay always did.
"okay, you think i'm an asshole. i get it," george rolled his eyes. he really couldn't blame jace; he was kind of an asshole. "are you going to show me around or not?" he sassed.
"you're not that bad," jace responded to george's self-deprecating comment. "not a complete asshole, but definitely not an angel."
george snapped back, "i'd beg to differ."
him and jace had become almost insanely comfortable with each other just over phone calls, so hanging out in person felt natural after the first couple minutes.
jace took george all around town- he showed him the best restaurants, the gardens, the little shops that nobody actually bought anything from, and even his school; bluehill high school. george definitely remembered their football teams playing each other at some point. speaking of school, jace was actually a whole grade younger than george. george was seventeen going into his senior year, and jace was sixteen approaching his junior year. for some reason that made george feel old as hell, but jace thought he was being dramatic.
the two had stopped and gotten ice cream and then argued for a good five minutes over who was paying. jace insisted on paying, but it was useless against george and his abused credit card. george couldn't let someone younger than him pay for him. it just felt weird.
they sat at a park bench and did exactly what they usually did; george ranted about his problems and jace gave impressively good advice. if jace was this good at dealing with other people's issues, his life must be absolutely perfect.
"i just don't know what to do-," george dragged out with a groan. "i think he's actually depressed and i can't do shit about it. i suck, don't i?"
"it's not your job to fix him, even if he's your boyfriend and you feel like you need to," jace assured. "think about it; your best friend is struggling and you don't find out until they have to leave for the whole summer because of it. i don't know about you, but i'd be pretty damn sad. whether i had an amazing boyfriend or not, it would suck."
"you really think i'm heartless, hm?" george observed. the amazing boyfriend comment flew right over his head.
jace defended himself, "i didn't say that, stupid."
"well that's what you were implying, stupid," george echoed. it felt nice to have a new friend.
"was not," jace pleaded. "seriously though- you said you're not good at showing your emotions. you're probably really upset too, but you're just too focused on him to realize. you're allowed to focus on yourself."
george thought for a moment. "he's done so much for me though."
"because he loves you," jace explained. "he would tell you if he needed you to help him or if there was anything you could do. that's how healthy relationships work."
"clay's not that simple," george addressed, "he feels like he has to constantly make things up to me and feels guilty when i try to do things for him."
"why would he have to make anything up to you?" jace grew curious.
that was one part of the story that george hadn't explained. "it's... complicated. he doesn't actually have to, he just thinks he does," george clarified.
jace nodded to signify that he understood before speaking again, "so it seems like there's just a constant sense of guilt over him that won't go away?"
"yes. exactly," george agreed. "it's like- he says he doesn't want to see me right now because he doesn't like being in a bad mood around me because he thinks it makes me feel bad," he rambled.
"i think the best thing to do is give him space," jace decided. "i know it seems impossible, but he'll come around. he's probably overwhelmed and needs some time alone to process things," he further elaborated. "i know that feeling, and sometimes you have to push people away just for a little while."
"clay and i are more different than i thought," george realized.
"everyone deals with things differently."
those words hit george right in the heart.
he thought of the night after wilbur's party; the night that had started all of the guilt that clay still carried on his back to this day. george's way of dealing with his trauma made clay felt like he had done something terribly wrong.
they were so, so different.
------
give him space.
how the hell was george supposed to do that?
it was the day after george and jace met again in person, and george wanted nothing more than to text clay and ask if he wanted to do something together. why should george listen to some stranger he met at the beach anyways?
except, jace wasn't a stranger anymore. jace and george were friends.
george couldn't stop thinking about how clay would feel if he found out that he had been going to jace, who clay had sworn was going to steal george, for advice on their relationship. what had life become?
as if clay and george had telepathic minds, a text from clay lit up george's phone screen. wanna spend the night???
is that even a question, george instantly texted back. relieved was an understatement for how he felt.
there was practically always a bag packed in george's room of the stuff he would need to sleep at clay's house; extra clothes, toiletries, a phone charger, and whatever other random things he threw in there. this made their random sleepovers much easier to prepare for.
after taking a quick but thorough shower, george was out the door and driving to clay's house. the route was muscle memory at this point.
when he arrived, george was greeted at the door by an exhausted-looking clay. his hair was messy, there were bags under his half-lidded eyes, and he was wearing only pajama pants. it would've been cute if it wasn't almost six in the afternoon and george didn't know that clay was sad and rotting in bed all day.
george's hair was still wet from his shower, and clay immediately noticed that. "i don't think you've ever showered that quickly," he guessed. his voice was hoarse as if he hadn't talked in days.
"i didn't want to waste too much time," george insisted. he didn't want to show his excitement too much; that could pressure clay into hanging out more often even if he couldn't handle it, and george didn't want to do that. "did you just wake up?" he couldn't help but ask.
"i guess it's pretty obvious, huh?" clay let out a weak laugh as he looked down at himself and ran a hand through his hair. "my sleep schedule is just getting more and more fucked."
"mine is too," george related. yesterday was the first day in a while that he was actually out of his bed before noon.
as clay was turning to give george room to enter the house, his hand rose to his head and his eyes screwed shut.
george worried, "you okay?"
"dizzy," clay answered bluntly. he took a few steps back so george could come in, holding onto the door to support himself. "fuck," he expressed under his breath.
walking into the house, george asked, "have you eaten?"
"ugh. no," clay realized. "i forgot."
with a frown on his face, george shut the front door and grabbed onto clay's arm. he guided him to the staircase behind them. "here- sit down. i'll go get you something to eat," george instructed. he made sure clay was sitting before wandering into the kitchen. maybe he was babying him a bit, but he kind of liked doing that.
it didn't seem like anyone was home; clay's mom's car wasn't in the driveway and there was no sign of caylee or charlotte in the house. charlotte could be in the basement, but george didn't care to find out.
after looking through the fridge, george couldn't find anything to feed to his malnourished boyfriend who was currently on the verge of passing out on the stairs. he settled on grabbing a gatorade for now, and he would come back to cook something once clay was in bed.
george rushed back to the stairs, his eyes meeting clay's as soon as the two could see each other. george exaggerated, "you have no fucking food in your house, so i'm getting you in bed and then i'll make you something. okay?"
"i'm not dying," clay assured. "this happens all the time," he recalled.
it wasn't rare for clay to forget to eat, or do any basic survival necessities for that matter, but it rarely got to the point of him passing out. george was not letting that happen. "i don't care, you're laying down and i'm making you food," george persisted.
"okay, mother," clay playfully scoffed. george smiled seeing clay make a joke.
once clay was in bed, george was basically pouring gatorade down his throat. in other words, he was telling clay to drink it as if he would die if he didn't.
"try to finish that before i come back," george told him. "i'm gonna go make you food, behave."
"what are you gonna make?" clay wondered.
george answered honestly, "i don't know. any requests?"
"no," clay replied. if he wasn't hungry, he couldn't decide what he wanted to eat. it just didn't work like that.
so george was left on his own in the kitchen. he wasn't a great chef, but he wasn't awful. the constant fear that either of clay's psychotic sisters would appear at any given time was really distracting george from his task of deciding what the hell he could cook.
he decided on eggs. it was his best option; it was fast, easy, and clay probably needed protein if he hadn't eaten in a while, right? george didn't know how food worked.
when george went back up to clay's room with the mediocre scrambled eggs he had made, clay looked like he was falling asleep again. george felt bad waking him up, but he needed to eat. he had drank about half the bottle of gatorade, but that wasn't enough on it's own.
"clay," george whispered, lightly poking the blond's shoulder. he sat down on the side of the bed that he always claimed as his and waited for clay's eyes to flutter open.
"hm?" clay hummed, waking back up. he rubbed his eyes and then looked at the bowl in george's hands. "oh- eggs."
george reasoned, "i didn't know what else to make."
"that's okay," clay assured. "scrambled eggs are good."
george could tell that clay wanted to go back to sleep; his tiredness was displayed in his appearance, his voice, his mannerisms, and his words. "you can go back to sleep after you eat," george promised, setting the bowl down in front of clay. he had loaded up the pan with butter to hopefully give clay some more energy. if he had to guess, george would say he hadn't been eating enough for at least the past week.
"you won't mind?" clay questioned.
"not at all," george reassured. "i could probably use a nap too," he figured.
clay took his first bite of the eggs, which gave george a sense of accomplishment. he may not be able to make clay feel better emotionally, since sapnap leaving was completely out of his control, but he could at least make sure he ate. he was doing what he could.
they sat in silence as clay continued eating. george played with blond strands of hair and watched as clay scrolled through his phone. a text notification on george's phone, which laid on the sheets between them, caught their attention.
it was a text from jace.
yesterday was fun :)
------
authors note // hello i have respawned
jace is just such a sweetheart 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 he's totally doesn't exist for the sole purpose of making problems 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
anyways i put a content warning on this for the whole clay forgetting to eat thing to be safe bc i did the same thing and it became quite an issue (pls eat guys food is awesome hashtag recovery)
okay i'm done oversharing now 😁
if you liked the chapter, vote :]