Finding Myself || Complete

By sihle0071

8K 488 7

[COMPLETELY EDITED AND FINISHED.] "Being abused your whole life isn't nice. Being told that you are not worth... More

Chapter 1: New school.
Chapter 3: You don't know me.
Chapter 4: Forgiven.
Chapter 5: Testing the waters of friendship.
Chapter 6: Something new.
Chapter 7: Promises.
Chapter 8: Underground boxer.
Chapter 9: More than friends.
Chapter 10: Lusting over me.
Chapter 11: First Kiss.
Chapter 12: Talked sooner.
Chapter 13: Tinsy winsy better.
Chapter 14: There for her.
Chapter 15: Ball is in your court.
Chapter 16: About us.
Chapter 17: Shouldn't have bothered.
Chapter 18: Make things right.
Chapter 19: Kiss now talk later.
Chapter 20: Pay for lying about me.
Chapter 21: Your damn fault.
Chapter 22: Ultimatums.
Chapter 23: Night is still young.
Chapter 24: Just friends.
Chapter 25: Family's lives in danger.
Chapter 26: Deal with it later.
Chapter 27: Cutting ties.
Chapter 28: It's over.
Chapter 29: Rainbows and sunshine.
Chapter 30: Grovel.
Chapter 31: Escapism.
Chapter 32: Hold you down.
Chapter 33: Broke me.
Chapter 34: Needs us.
Chapter 35: Stick together.
Chapter 36: Forgive and forget.
Chapter 37: Breaking facade.
Chapter 38: Pure intentions.
Chapter 39: She chose us.
Chapter 40: Peace.
Chapter 41: Favourite holiday.
Chapter 42: No pressure.
Chapter 43: Fear of the unknown.
Chapter 44: Coming out.
Chapter 45: First step.
Chapter 46: Temporary fling.
Chapter 47: Memory fades.
Chapter 48: His back.
Chapter 49: Letter to him.
Chapter 50: Forever.
Chapter 51: Support structure.
Chapter 52: Payment.
Chapter 53: Safe and sound.
Chapter 54: Never letting you go.
Chapter 55: Every step of the way.
Chapter 56: Alone.
Chapter 57: A keeper.
Chapter 58: Self-harm.
Chapter 59: Define you.
Chapter 60: New beginnings.
Chapter 61: Valedictorian.
Chapter 62: Best desicion.
Chapter 63: End of year trip.
Chapter 64: Best thing I've ever had.
Chapter 65: Don't let him control you.
Chapter 66: Fake smiles.
Chapter 67: Memorable night.
Chapter 68: We made it.
Chapter 69: Finding Myself.
Acknowledgements...
Epilogue.

Chapter 2: Special friend.

397 20 0
By sihle0071

Phiwokuhle's POV

I'm glad i arrived home or rather my dad's house cause it doesn't feel like a home. A home should be warm and filled with love not tears and screams and toxicity everyday. The minute I enter I'm welcomed by my sister. "How was school babes?" she asks. I've never had her ask me how school was so I'm sure she wants something from me.

"It was okay. Do you want anything from me?" I ask. "No i don't want anything from you. Why would you say that?" she asks. "You just giving me unexpected attention." "I was just checking up on you nothing much. And you my sister so its important i make sure you are okay." "Okay weird but okay." She chuckles.

I go upstairs and change into comfortable clothing and i unpack my bag. I have to start covering my books or should i say my mom should help me cause I don't know. I never saw the point of learning how to cover my books cause one day I won't need it. And this is the last year so it's pointless learning now.

I go back downstairs and go to the kitchen and i find my mom baking. "Hi love." I greet and she chuckles. "Hi love uright?" she asks. (are you okay?) "Ngiyaphila wena." (I'm good and you.) "Nami ngiyaphila. How was school?" (I'm good too.) "It was okay." "So it's okay when mama asks you about school but mina i can't." says Mandisa. "Mandisa I'm not used to the attention you give me so its a bit difficult to process."

"What kind of a sister are you?" she asks. "That's the question you supposed to be asking yourself." I answer. "Please don't fight guys I'm not in the mood." says mom. "Don't worry we just showing each other sisterly love. Right?" "Right." Parents should never involve themselves in sibling fights cause it will cause us to actually fight.

"So you don't have any potential friends there?" asks Mandisa. "I have found myself some acquaintances but I wanna see how long this acquaintanceship will last cause knowing myself two day max." I answer and she laughs. "I'm proud at the fact that you have people to hang out with." I roll my eyes. "It's not like i have characteristics that prevent me from fitting into the society."

"Girl you do. Like who on earth gets into a fight first day of school." she teases. "Nah man that boy provoked me and he was about to do the same to Phiwokwakhe so i had to get to him before he got to Phiwokwakhe. So to sum it up that was self defense. And no one should have an issue cause I was defending my brother." I say. "Or pranking the teachers?" "Truth or dare is a risky game."

"You always have reasons to justify your excuses." says mom. "That's because it's justifiable and very normal for teenagers to act the way I do." I say. "No its not normal to get into a fight on the first day of school." says Mandisa. "Personalities aren't the same." "Excuses excuses." I roll my eyes. "Girl don't play with me." She snickers.

"Mama please help me cover my books." I say. "At your big age sisi." says Mandisa. "I never saw the point of learning so yeah at my big age." "Later on." "Okay then. And wena don't judge me there are certain things you can't do but you old." She rolls her eyes. "Name one." "You have to ask someone to put on your socks because you don't know which one is left or right."

"It's very difficult to differentiate socks." she says in a defensive tone. "Now it's my turn to say excuses excuses." I say and we laugh. "Where are the boys?" "They at school but your dad is going to fetch them something about signing up for sports." "When is he going on a work trip?" "I don't know why." "He needs to be gone for a while." "Forever sounds better."

We hear the door opening and the boys come in the kitchen. "Sanibonani." they greet. (Hello.) "Hey." "Ms. Changing schools every year how was it?" I roll my eyes. "It was okay I guess." "She has friends." says Mandisa and they clap for me. "Such a huge milestone. That means school must have been more than okay."

"I didn't say they friends I said acquaintances learn to differentiate." I say. "It's still the same thing cause sis its been a while." says Musa and i roll my eyes. "You guys stop it." "So are they females or males?" asks Phiwokwakhe. "They acquaintances." "Okay non binary we don't mind." I roll my eyes. These ones are fools that's for sure.

"Babes don't be afraid as long as they good people then they welcome ekhaya anytime." says Mandisa. "You guys know how to annoy a person." I say and they snicker. "Bruh what's the point of having siblings if we can't annoy you." says Phiwokwakhe. "Wise words from a young man." says Musa and they do a little handshake.

"Okay you shall call me when dinner is ready cause I can't with you guys." I say. I stand up and go to my bedroom and shut the door. I don't know why they are confusing my acquaintances for friends. Acquaintances and friends aren't the same thing and people need to start learning that.

I've never been able to make friends at school cause most kids were or still are afraid of me. Probably back then in primary when I didn't have the balls to fight back and i was still a happy soul I had friends but once I learnt a move or two then those people I considered my friends distanced themselves from me.

It isn't easy making friends cause they can easily turn on you. I don't know why teenagers be turning on people as if we adults that are progressing when we still in school. I thought that the friends I had in primary would last me until high school but here I am lonely as hell.

Most of my acquaintances have been boys more than girls because of my brother but then i did have some few female acquaintances along the way. Most of the female acquaintances were kind of fake and some of them were there because of my brother and some were genuinely afraid of me.

But I actually don't have a preference about which people I choose to hang out with cause at the end of the day they are just humans, and i apparently quote on quote, need friends to survive and fit in the society, those were words from my siblings. But I honestly haven't found or met a real friend that's been there for me through thick and thin.

I switch on my phone to check if I have any messages which the chances are below zero because I have zero friends and zero social skills.
I find a message from an unknown number and i open it.

Unknown: Hey this is Kwenzokuhle aka the mean girls guy. I just wanted to check and see if you enjoyed your first day at that school. You don't have to reply to this message but I hope you do.
Me: Hey. I don't know why I gave you my number but anyways my first day of school was fine besides you ill treating me.

I save his number and he replies to my text. I see his a quick

Mean girls: I would like to apologise for being mean to you. You caught me on a bad day but if i offended you in any ways I'm sorry. Don't worry you won't regret giving me your number.
Me: I think I'm not gonna regret giving you my number cause at least you had the decency to apologise.

Mean girls: I'm glad i could charm you this quick. What are you doing now?
Me: I'm just chilling in my bed. I'm tired of being annoyed by my siblings. You?
Mean girls: Making myself something to eat. I can relate with the siblings part.
Me: I wonder why parents saw the need to procreate some more cause these humans are annoying.
Mean girls: They be pulling I don't want you to be lonely excuse.

There is a knock on the door and i tell the person to come in. Phiwokwakhe comes in with a bowl of snacks and i know his here to get some gossip or to piss me off even more than he already has. Sigh.

Me: I have to go the procreations have started again.
Mean girls: 😭😂. I wish you luck though with them.
Me:😔


"Who got you smiling so hard?" he asks. "I guess having access to technology can make a person happy." I answer. He plops himself on the bed and puts the bowl in the middle and we start eating. "Uright?" (Are you okay?) "Ngiyaphila wena." (I'm good and you.) "Nami ngiyaphila." (I'm good too.)

"There is no drama or gossip at that school. I'm not there for such i just want to finish matric in peace." I say. "I'm not here for drama I'm here for you." he says. "Don't you leave me flabbergasted cause we both know thats not the reason why you here." He rolls his eyes. "So how is your register teacher?" "His okay I guess. Nothing fancy about him."

"So these acquaintances of yours, your words not mine, how are they?" he asks. "They okay. There is nothing special about them besides the fact that they kept me entertained at break." I answer. "So are they male or female?" "What do you think the answer is?" "Male." "There's your answer then."

"Befriend some girls so you know they can become your potential sister in law." he says. "I'll be that sister in law that doesn't like any girl you bring home," I say and we laugh. "Just kidding I'll check the coast to see if they make the top 5." "Please do. It's been a while." "You are always busy man."

"Siyafana mina nawe." he says. (We are the same.) "I think you are quite mistaken there young man." I say. "It's just you keep it on the low." "You wish I was like you." "Why would I wish for something when its already true?" I roll my eyes and he chuckles. "We are the same lil sis." "Nonsense lil bro." We laugh.

Mom comes in the room and stands by the door. "There is somebody downstairs come greet them." she says. "This thing of being polite will end me one day." I mutter under my breath and Phiwokwakhe smacks the back of my head. "Nonsense." I click my tongue and we go downstairs.

I get there and i see the one person I least expected, my dad's best friend. The universe truly hates me...

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