8th week
In such a short time I can look in the mirror and see the changes in my body. My breasts, previously small, have already started to swell and I can notice a small rise in my abdomen, which I touch every time in the shower still in disbelief that all this is happening.
Yes, our son is definitely starting to grow. As this happens, I think more and more about how tremendously scary it is. In less than 8 months a little creature will be joining our home and we will form a family.
It is strange to even say this, but to think that for a moment I didn't want him makes me feel like the worst person, because I just know that even though I don't know him yet, I love him so much that my heart feels like it could explode at any moment.
Shaun says that we will be fine, that we have each other, and I like to believe him.
My parents, who were surprised at the news and asked us so many questions, have now assumed the position of overprotective grandparents with great potential to ruin a child's upbringing. Mom keeps sending pictures of the safest cribs and strollers available, according to her research.
Clothes with dinosaurs and animals have been bought, even though we don't even know the sex of the baby yet.
We will only do the fetal sex test tomorrow, mom. Yes, you'll know as soon as we do too. No, mom. I don't see a problem with girls wearing dinosaur prints. Shaun loves dinosaurs, I'm sure he agrees with me.
And so now I get several calls a day from my mother. Always excited and with millions of questions and suggestions on what to do and buy for the baby.
But without a doubt, the person who surprises me most is Glassy, the first person we tell about the decision to go ahead with the pregnancy. At first he showed restrained emotion, congratulated us and said he would support us in the best way he could.
"I'm proud of you, Shaun. That was brave of you both. It won't be easy, but I'm sure you'll have a happy family."
"Thank you, Grandpa Glassy. I teased him."
Unexpectedly, Glassy stared at me with watery eyes and suddenly pulled Shaun and me into a hug.
Since then, Glassy has been very considerate of me. Stopping by my office sometime during the day to ask how I am doing, if I need anything or want to leave early. Shaun is thrilled, he has in Glassy the father figure he wants to pass on to our son. And as for the beauty of it, there is no further discussion.
Shaun starts to methodically write everything down in his endless lists The daily blood pressure check, the appointments, the measurements, the vitamin schedule. Fast foods are off the menu indefinitely, because this way we avoid the risks of diabetes and gestational obesity.
It's all part of a bubble of extreme care created by Shaun, so much so that sometimes it suffocates me.
I guess our friends are also a supportive home for every day. Claire jumped up and down congratulating us and thanking us for the nephew who would get one.
To see the happiness in the eyes of each of them makes me more and more ecstatic.
The first baby of the group will arrive soon and it thrills me to know that he is already so loved.
"Have you been feeling nauseous again, any pain or anything that you find different?"
"The morning sickness has reduced, I only had one last week."
"Lea hasn't been sleeping well, she moved several times during the night."
Shaun hurried to tell her.
"Yeah, it hasn't been an easy night. I get heartburn and have been having some nightmares."
I confessed a little fearfully.
"Probably because of the hormonal changes your body is going through. You may still experience a little more of this discomfort in the next few weeks, but it tends to go away. But I will prescribe something to control the symptoms, I also advise you to exercise, especially outdoors, to relax and also activate vitamin D which will be an important ally in your sleep quality."
"Exercise with caution," Shaun added, "Light exercise is beneficial to both mother and baby, but caution must be exercised with the type and consistency."
"Of course, Doctor Murphy. I recommend short walks and short stretches."
" Sure. We will put in place a routine so that Lea can exercise in the morning."
Shaun stated, writing in his inseparable notebook.
"What do you think about Pilates? Is it safe?"
I don't see a problem, as long as, like I said, the exercises are light. Have you guys ever thought about going to childbirth classes?"
"No! Childbirth classes have no scientific validation."
Shaun! I softened.
"Lea, any method that doesn't have its effectiveness scientifically proven should be discarded. It can be risky."
"I understand your point of view, Doctor Murphy. But I have seen many couples of patients who have adhered to the practice and believe me, as a doctor, I was also incredulous about unconventional methods. And I could see that everything my patients learned in the classes was valid in the process of developing their relationship with their babies from pre to post birth."
Shaun and I immediately looked at each other.
"It might be good for us."
" But..." he began
" We'll think about the possibilities. Right, Shaun?"
Shaun a little annoyed, was pleased with my answer.
" Yes, we will think about it."
"Perfect! So, shall we start the tests? Now I need a sample of your blood and...."
"With it will be done the chromosomal check that will attest to the sex of the baby. It is a very reliable method, it has a very low error range."
"Yes, Doctor Murphy!"
Laurie confirmed, smiling.
"Shaun, you'd better let her do her job. Is that alright?"
"Fine, Lea. Your contributions are worthwhile, Doctor Murphy. And I am happy to welcome a professional colleague to my office who uses her expertise for the welfare of your baby."
She spoke as she arranged the needle and a clear tube on a tray.
Shaun assimilated the compliment and gave her discreet smile of pride.
At that moment I concluded that I could not have chosen a better doctor than mine. Such patience and sensitivity with us, especially with the questioning first time father Shaun.
"Ready!"
I looked at the bright red colored tube held up in front of me.
"Now let's start the ultrasound. Lie down on the bed, please!"
I felt the shock of the gel falling on my belly.
"Get ready! This could be an unforgettable and very exciting moment."
She said, moving the machine toward me.
"I can't wait!"
"Ready?"
"Yes!"
I said almost whispering, holding Shaun's hand tighter.
On the screen beside the bed a black and white image moves as the device slides across my belly.
"This here is the uterine wall. And...here... This small but already noticeable mass is your baby."
"Wow! Look, Shaun, it's our baby."
Shaun who was looking at the screen was totally mesmerized by what he saw.
Captured by the first sight of our baby and then that of Shaun gazing at him I was seized by the emotion that had become familiar to me over the past two months.
Suddenly...the sound
Shaun's eyes turned to me, we were struck at the same instant.
Laurie, who was dividing her attention between us and the monitor, was amused by our reaction.
"Yes, that's the little heart sound. Congratulations, Dads! The heartbeat is regular, the baby is doing very well."
There is an overwhelming greatness in the moment when you can hear your child's heartbeat, especially if you have never experienced it.
It is an almost indescribable emotion. And I can't measure the joy that came over me that day. As I looked at Shaun I realized that he couldn't be less excited.
"That is the sound of our baby's heart, Lea. And he's fine."
He said after letting out a long exhale, not noticing the strength we were both using in our entwined hands.
>>>
"Shaun, he's the size of a blueberry. Isn't that cute?"
Lying next to me on the bed, Shaun watched me caress my belly.
"The baby already has legs and arms and a small heart, but not fully formed."
"Shaun, this is our baby growing here."
I reached out my hand reaching for Shaun's hand placing it on my belly.
Shaun, I know you're scared and worried. And you want everything to go well with me and the baby. But you need to relax, we're fine. Let's enjoy every moment of these next few months, I don't want to feel lonely watching you talk about medical issues and not make any effort to create your connection with the baby."
"I want to feel connected to him, but it's hard. How can I make a connection with someone I've never seen?"
I thought for a second considering that I had forgotten how differently this process happened with Shaun and concluded that I might be demanding without helping him.
He looked at me intently.
"Let's talk to the baby!"
I sat up and propped my back on the pillow. Shaun followed me.
"But he doesn't have ears yet. As I said, due to his gestational age the baby doesn't have part of his body composition formed.
I know, Shaun. But we can imagine that he can hear us and know that he is much loved and expected. Shaun, I am so excited, I already love our baby so much and I am also scared to death that something will go out of what we want or that something will happen. And so many things we have discussed, I just don't want to dwell on what could go wrong. Instead I intend to make the most of every minute of this time."
With his hand still on my belly Shaun lowered his attention to it, making circles around the tiny bulge.
"Talk to him, Shaun."
"Talk about why?"
"Anything you want."
Shaun stopped, still staring at my belly, and lowered his gaze to cup my ear. He sighed and began to speak in his tender tone.
"Hello, Berry. My name is Shaun Murphy and I am your father. I'm a medical surgeon and I work at San Bonaventura Hospital. This is Lea, your mother__ he added, touching my leg with his index finger. "We met when Lea knocked on my door and lent me batteries that she didn't return until I asked for them back. Lea told me to kiss her and I did, but then I ran out to throw up. Lea had to go back to her hometown of Hershey and I thought she would never come back. But, one night when I came home from the hospital she was waiting for me in the hallway of our old building. We had a fight and didn't speak for a few days. Only I convinced her mother to let us share an apartment, but at first it was not easy because Lea was a very disorganized person with space.
Lea and I lived together for a year until my old girlfriend Carly asked me to tell Lea to go away.
Carly also told me that I loved Lea and should tell her. When I confessed Lea didn't want to date me because of my autism. But then she said she loved me too and we moved back together. We forgot to use a condom and Lea got pregnant, now we will be her parents"__ He added in his confessing secrets tone.
"Shaun, you've told so many details."
I who combed Shaun's hair with my hands as he spoke, delightfully listened to him tell our story to our son.
He doing hesitated for a moment, as if he didn't want to leave where he was.
"You said I could say anything, Lea. Although he can't hear maybe he would like to know about us."
" Yes, you're right! And did you feel better talking to him?"
"Um... I didn't feel anything. But__ He stopped__ it was nice."
"Okay, we can try again tomorrow. And until the baby has developed enough to be able to hear us."
" Okay."
"The test results will be sent today by the middle of the day. I want us to look at it together, so when I get the email I'll let you know so we can open it. Okay?"
"I will have surgery that may take a few hours."
"All right, I'll wait until you're free.
Okay. I'll text you."
"It's a deal."
After doing our battery of light exercise and stretching in the block around the building, we returned home where Shaun took my blood pressure and while I was in the shower carefully prepared breakfast of fruit, cereal and juice.
Here are your vitamins, take them before you eat.
He instructed as soon as I sat down.
Shaun now had just left a green apple on the tray next to the pile of other carefully peeled apples.
"Are you not going to make pancakes?"
"No, you get sick from the smell of them."
"No, that's okay. That hasn't happened since I started taking the medicine our obstetrician prescribed. You can eat your pancakes."
"Whew! I was missing our homemade pancakes. And getting sick of eating the hospital cafeteria pancakes every day."
"Oh, so Daddy Shaun felt sick too. Look at that, Berry...mommy and daddy together until this..."__ I joked, smoothing my belly.
Shaun without showing any reaction, got up, got what he needed, lit the stove and prepared his pancakes.
"Thank you for breakfast." I said, placing a kiss on the pale cheek beside me.
"You're welcome, I'll make your coffee every day. It's better this way, that way I make sure what you will eat."
"O.K__ I'll follow your orders, my doctor. Now, shall we go? We can't be late today, I can't wait for the results.
Aren't you?"
"I don't know, I'll be happy whatever the result is."
"Me too, but this is so exciting! Come on, Shaun!"
I went talking towards the door.
Shaun hurried his steps between the sink where he deposited the coffee dishes before grabbing his backpack from the hanger.
Behind me the keys jangled in the door, seconds later Shaun was following beside me toward the exit.
>>>
Near eleven o'clock, I received the email from the lab and scheduled to meet Shaun as soon as I finished the task scheduled for the morning. When a notification popped up on my cell phone screen.
It was Glassman asking me to meet him in his office where he was meeting the new insurance representative to whom I needed to explain in technical terms the procedure I had performed to disarm the recent hacker attack.
Upon arriving, I found Glassy alone.
"Ah, Lea! The representative is in the doctors' meeting room, he thought it would be necessary to also talk to some of the staff to gauge the size of the damage we have avoided. It is a routine inspection that is required by insurance. Shall we meet him
there?"
"All right."
On the way, Glassy wanted to know about me and the baby.
"We are fine, we did some tests yesterday and the ultrasound. "
"Was it really? Wow, I imagine you guys heard the baby's heartbeat."
" Yes, it was... Exciting. Shaun also got emotional at the moment."
" I can imagine. I'm glad Shaun is handling all of this well, you know...."
" Yes, I know. Shaun has been very careful and responsible, more so than he normally is. He has been surprising me every day and I am very happy with the effort he has made to connect with the baby."
"That's great! I am very happy for you both. You are both doing a great job!"
"Yeah, we're trying."
As we approached the door, Claire and Shaun caught up with us. She flashed Glassy a smile of complicity.
"So, Dads of the Year. Eager to hear if you're having a little girl or a little boy?"
"Oh yes! I am. We'll check the results as soon as we get a break."
"What do you mean? Alone? And you guys were thinking you'd leave us out of this big news? No way! "
She stepped forward and stopped near the entrance to the room.
I looked at her, confused. After Shaun to Glassy.
Shaun just as little did I know what was going on.
Claire opened the door revealing an ornate room with pink and blue sparkling balloons, little flags and ribbons of the same color hung from strings tied from one wall to another. On the table was a colorful box in the same tones as the decoration. Next to it was a card with the phrase "Mom and Dad, open the box! I want to reveal myself to you."
"I hope you don't mind! But we took the liberty of making this little surprise for you both."
Claire made a comprehensive sign.
Together Park, Morgan, Asher, Jordan, Laurie, Lim, Andrews were waiting for us with receptive excitement.
"You organized all this?
We didn't expect it," I said, looking around.
"Yeah, we weren't expecting a surprise. Surprises can be disconcerting and inconvenient."
I touched Shaun's hand immediately, a little embarrassed.
"Shaun!"
He continued
"But, surprises like this are nice. I'm glad you guys gave it to us. Thank you!"
I smiled, relieved.
"We love it! That's very thoughtful of you. I am so happy to know that our baby has so many aunts and uncles and is loved by all of them."
"Lots of uncles, but I'm sure I'll be the favorite."
Lim emphasized.
"I'm not sure about that." Said Park__"Although it's not easy to compete for that podium spot against the queen of the Speed Race."
Everyone laughed.
"A child may prefer arts to sports and video games, you know."
Morgan let out, pretending to stoke up the confrontation.
"Manual arts mostly, they're safer. But I suppose because of Lea's influence our son will have contact with games, in which I don't see a problem as long as the exposure times are monitored."
"Good for you, Shaun!" Classy contributed.
"Well, I think Shaun and Lea have waited long enough. Shall we get to the revelation?" Lim considered.
"Surely we all can't wait to find out the sex of baby Shea either."
Smiling Asher spoke up, patting his hands together.
"Shea? A shipper? Really?"
Jordan looked incredulously at her classmate.
Everyone laughed.
" Shipper? Glassy asked."
"An abbreviation with syllables of the couple's names. Shaun and Lea, Shea."
"It's cute! I love it."
I said.
Shaun and I made our way to the center of the table, the others arranged themselves around it.
Pulling on the opposite ends of the ribbon we released the loop that wrapped the box. Inside it a teddy bear dressed in a lab coat with a stethoscope hanging from its body held an envelope.
"What cute! " I whispered to Claire.
"Don't thank me, it was a gift from Doctor Glasmann."
"It's a Doctor Ted for Doctor Shaun's baby."
He flashed a brotherly smile at us.
"Thank you! The baby will love it."
Glassy nodded.
"He is holding the result of our test"
He observed Shaun pointing to the hands of the toy.
Shaun pulled out the envelope and opened it, together we went through the lines of letters, numbers and symbols until we reached the word we were most interested in:
"It's a girl!"
I announced between a happy sigh and a shaky voice.
Everyone clapped their hands and shouted energetically.
"We're having a girl, Shaun!"
Shaun, who was looking at the exiting group in front of us, instantly became infectious.
"A girl. We're going to be parents to a little girl."
Before receiving gestures of affection and congratulations from our friends, we devoted a long private moment of hugs and kisses.