August 6, 2012
Slowly the bliss of the announcement faded.
The peace secrecy brought them didn't last long. Days after Jaclyn told him her symptoms skyrocketed. Her morning sickness spread throughout the day, she couldn't eat anything, and fatigue paralyzed her. The internet became William's best friend, he needed some kind of confirmation that things were normal, that everything was okay. As far as he could tell it was, but it didn't stop his worrying. It didn't stop hers either.
He sees it now, sitting beside her in the drawing room of KP. She's curled up on the other side of the cream couch, Sense and Sensibility in her hands, but he can tell her mind isn't processing the words. She can't see them with how she keeps glancing down, or over the top of the book to where he left her a bowl of rice.
They both know she needs to eat it, but the twitch of her nose tells him she's going to push it off even more, and when she does manage to get it to go down it won't be there for long.
"I can ask the cook to make something else," he says, reaching for the bowl, but she stops him, eyes stuck to the page she can't see. "Please don't, I don't want her to have to go through the work for nothing."
"It's not nothing," he argues, but Jaclyn's far off. Not with him in the room. It was frustrating, he wasn't upset with her, not when her body was fighting her so ferociously, but subconsciously he let the blame fall on himself. He was supposed to be looking after them, Jac and the baby, but over the past week he just felt helpless.
"I think it's time we go to the doctor," he blurts. Before him Jaclyn freezes like a still frame photo, but slowly she sets the worn and frayed book down to turn to him. "We won't be able to hide it from the press if we do, and the palace won't want to make an announcement until I'm past twelve weeks. We haven't even been able to tell our families yet."
There's her worry again. Worry that every choice is wrong, worry that people will tell her she's overreacting, worry that she's somehow failing when he knows she's trying her best. But she's losing weight rapidly, and he needs to do something.
He couldn't do anything for...
No, his mind snaps, don't go there.
He glances down to the tabloids that are still spread across the coffee table, the same ones their private secretary Jamie was consulting them on after they decided to reschedule another one of her events.
Do Nothing Duchess
Flakie Jackie Cancels AGAIN
What's Up With Jac? The World Speculates
They didn't mean anything, but these were also her first negative headlines since their wedding, and of all the things they could talk about it had to be that. The one thing she wanted to be remembered for more than anything else was her work ethic.
The thing is she won't say they bother her. She'll sit quietly and take it because that's what's expected. He just wishes she would tell him.
She catches him eyeing the tabloids warily, and sits up straighter with a soft smile. It's the most alive she's looked for a while, the veil of malnourishment and exhaustion lifting, that familiar brightness in her eyes easing his nerves, but his stomach turns guiltily knowing she's only doing it for him. "You know," she starts, picking up one of the papers to point at him, "I would've gone to both of these events if it weren't for you."
"You were napping on the bathroom floor after getting sick for the seventh time that day. You weren't going to watch cycling with Camilla."
She made a cute hmph noise, nose dramatically stuck in the air, but her eyes dance mischievously back to him. "I still resent you for making me miss it."
He rolls his eyes, reaching over to pull her closer to his side where she sits perfectly. He ignores the fragility of her limbs, and the hard angles of her ribs and spine that cut into him. He doesn't even want to think about the last time she actually ate something. Instead he plays with her hair, his hands combing through the crazy and knotted waves that trail down her upper back. Recently she'd been keeping her hair straight or curled neatly at the bottom. He missed the freedom and mess that came with her natural waves.
Out the wall of windows the sky turns orange over the walled in garden. She watches it, compelled by the summer flowers that slowly wilt as fall creeps near. William smiles thinking of her knee deep in the dirt over the summer, and he imagines what it'll be like to watch her dance and work around the greenery with a baby in her arms.
"Hand me the rice," she groans like she's sensing his inner turmoil now that she's near. Sitting up she reaches for the bowl, but with his arm hooked around her waist there's only so far she can go without slipping off the couch.
It's a pitiful sight to watch once he's finally given it to her, and she's resting back against him. She picks at each peice, stopping to hold her breath, but he can't imagine white rice has any smell. One of the reasons to be thankful he's not a woman, he could never do this…
"How about we call my parents tonight, and we'll tell your family tomorrow at dinner so your Gran can help us schedule an appointment with Dr. Setchell?" She pauses, fork shaking back and forth in her hand just so she can move something, but he instantly relaxes hearing her plan.
"I think that sounds perfect."
-----
Seeing her family, even through a computer screen, lightens her mood. The headache fades to a soft echo in the back of her head, and the bright lights reflect less off of the surfaces around them. She's so focused on smiling and talking with them that the pricks in her stomach disappear as she speaks.
"Your brother won his class spelling bee," Michelle gushes, pulling Caleb closer to her to kiss his head. He beams under her praise, and nuzzles closer, slouching to fit under her chin. It was still odd to consider the fact that her brother was twelve. In her mind he was still the little boy who she recreated movie scenes with, but each time she saw him he looked older and older.
Unlike her, he looked like the spitting image of their mom, the top of his head a bleachy blond like hers was when she was his age, and iron straight. His eyes were blue like robin eggs, and his lips were pouty with a heart shaped face. He was getting taller too, and would probably one day be taller than her.
"What was your favorite word," Jaclyn asks, biting back the tears that wanted to fall. God she needed to get this under control…
Caleb shrugs, focusing his gaze down to the pamphlet in his hands. From what she cam see it looked like the monthly Family Video new releases pamphlet. "Epiphysis."
"Epiphysis… like the part of your bone, was in your seventh grade spelling bee?" William leans forward, disbelief written in his expression, and Caleb shrugs again still with the notion that his intelligence was no big deal.
"How are you guys?" Jaclyn focuses on her parents who were already intently watching her. Her mom rolls her eyes, looking to her dad for support but he was stoic and unmoving. "I feel like I should be asking you that. Brad, who was it that came in yesterday?"
Again he doesn't react, as if he knew she would talk too fast for him to actually respond. "Oh it was Linda and Kay. They stopped by the shop for potting soil and asked if you were okay, read somewhere that you were canceling things."
"What'd you say?"
"I told them not to read too deeply into what those magazines say. You know the ladies in this town, give them the tiniest bit of gossip and they'll go crazy."
Jaclyn sighs, fighting the urge to drop her head in her hands and scream. She hates Villa Grove. She hates that her parents have to see her face on trashy magazines at the checkout of the local Dollar General. She hates how they're stuck there, and that she can't be with them.
"But are you okay?" Her mom's voice teeters, hands gripping at Caleb who doesn't seem to understand why his mom is so worried and why his dad is so grim.
Jaclyn turns away from them focusing on William and waiting for his nod of confirmation. "Well we do have something we need to tell you guys. Is everyone there?"
"Your grandpa's napping," her dad says with a look over his shoulder to where she's sure the man in question is reclined all the way back in the recliner.
"Well wake him this is big news, and get Gaga and Grandma Janet too."
Once they're all squished together on the living room couch, occasionally elbowing each other to make sure the camera sees them, she takes a deep breath. William scoots closer to her one hand waiting at her side while the other takes her hand. She doesn't have to look at him to see how happy he is despite the rollercoaster of emotions the last few days has been.
His fears are still there, reflecting in his eyes, gorgeously navy and rich in color, and they speak through his hands that hold her like his life depends on it, but they're met with his joy. Battling and existing together.
"We just wanted to tell you guys that in a couple months you're going to be grandparents and great grandparents." William squeezes her hand as she delivers the life changing news, and watches with a broad smile as all of them are stunned. His hand at her side slips over her middle, protectively holding her up.
She's starting to think the call glitched and froze when her mom finally moves. Both of her hands coming up to cover her mouth, but her sob still gets out.
It's enough to break the rest of them from their silence, and all at once chaos breaks out. Both her grandmas shrill, gloppy tears running from their eyes, and her father leans over Caleb who's clamped his hands over his ears, to console her mother.
"You're sure?" Somehow he's managing to maneuver Caleb away from her wailing grandmothers while getting her mom to sit back up. When he does turn to look at her he's faintly smiling, and that's all it takes for her worries to wash away for now. Very rarely has she seen him unguarded, and she appreciates the glimpses he gives her.
Her mom's cries have softened, but her eyes still glow red across the screen, and Though her smile is joyous her lips wobble. "Yes, are you sure?"
"I'm positive mom."
Her Grandma Janet has wrangled free from her Papa Larry's hold, and has shoved herself as close to the camera as she can. "How far along are you dear?" The fire red strands of unkept hair fall in front of her eyes, but she pushes them back not wanting to miss anything.
Before Jaclyn can answer her other grandma has made her way to the front as well never one to be outdone. "Is this why you've been sick?"
"I'm not sure how far along I am, but we think about nine weeks, and yes that's why I cancelled my events those two days. Which I will not be doing again." She shoots William a sidewards glare, but he only challenges her with a matching one.
"You're having a baby?" Caleb asks, one of his eyebrows raised like he's piecing everything together.
"Yeah bud, you're going to be an uncle." His lips curl at Williams statement, expression set in a stone scowl. "I hate babies. They're loud." They all laugh, but Caleb just looks between the laptop and everyone surrounding him confused. He clearly takes his opinion of babies very seriously.
Once the excitement dies down, her grandfather returns to his nap, her grandmas wander off, and Caleb takes off so her dad follows him. Her mom lingers drilling William to make sure he takes care her, but eventually he's pulled away as well.
"Jamie just needs to go over some details for our upcoming tour to Malaysia," she says, waving her mom's question off.
"You're still going?"
"Of course I'm still going. I'm pregnant not paralyzed."
Although her mom's concern brings her around to the questions she's been avoiding. She doesn't want to ruin a beautiful moment, but her mom is the only person she can turn to right now. "Mom?" Her hands worry at the edges of her old Star Wars shirt. "I... I haven't been able to eat anything, and when I do I always throw it back up. I've lost weight too, which I know is normal, but... Should I be worried? Is there something I'm doing wrong?"
Michelle softened, graceful features melting to relax the smile and worry lines in her face. Her hand reached out as if expecting to take Jaclyn's, but then she froze realizing her mistake. "Honey, I promise you, you're doing nothing wrong. Like you said those are normal things, and they'll go away once you're out of your first trimester. If you're still worried go see your doctor as soon as you can."
Jaclyn nods, feeling her own eyes mist once she sees her mom's. She has William's family, and she has him, but the longing in her soul for her own family will never stop. Sometimes all she wants to do is curl into her mother's lap like she were still a child, but such sentiments are for her head only. "I'm just worried that..." but the fear is too awful to say, too awful to think, so she trails off the only sign of her weakness in her wavering voice.
But her mom understands, blue eyes sympathetic, and her hand still placed along the front of the keyboard. "I know honey, I know."
They talk for a bit longer, Michelle trying to pull her daughter out from the possibilities in her head, and for the most part it works, but Jaclyn can't think about names, or nurseries, or gender until she's sure everything will be okay. Like speculating about things before she's sure will jinx her luck.
"I can't wait to give you a hug baby girl." That's when her mom's tears fall, quiet and beautiful like a work of art. Jaclyn shudders feeling the sentiment and truth through the screen, but she feels better knowing they'll come see her soon.
Once she's hung up the video call she starts to spread back out, right leg naturally falling into a lazy passé like she always does, when her hip clicks. It's a sudden force, a displaced bone in her hip keeping her leg from moving, and she bites her lip to keep in her startled cry. Again she tries to move it, hoping it'll pop back into place like it did when she was younger, but to no avail.
Her nostrils flare, teeth gritting as she adjusts her angle, but no amount of wiggling helps. It's only when she grabs her knee and forces her leg to turn out that the bone shifts back with a resounding crack. A hiss breaks through her lips as the bones in her pelvis reverberate back into place, but a second later the pain is gone and it was like nothing happened.
Weird
-----
The amount of research I had to put into this is insane. My knowledge of pregnancy extends to what I learned in health class (nothing) and what I've googled. Now, if any of you think it's weird that Jac hasn't gone to the doctor yet again they're trying to keep things hush hush so the palace can announce it, and she just passed week eight where most women go for the prenatal exam.
I was also going to include them telling his family in this chapter, but it got too long so that will be next chapter along with her first appointment where everything will be revealed.
Anyone have any guesses for what's going on? Let me know what you guys think in the comments!!!