Jungkook blinked twice, hands trembling, eyes not leaving the man in front of him. The tears rolled out of Taehyung's eyes making his heart clench, no words coming out even though he badly wanted to say something to Taehyung. Jungkook watched the man silently letting his tears fall, each drop reminded him of the petal of a cherry blossom in Autumn.
That's the thing. Taehyung didn't know what happened to his voice, why it was not coming out as his brain was screaming inside. To confess. But only the tears spoke, rolling down his cheeks, burning against his skin. The words, none of it came out and Jungkook could not hear him in silence. They were not that close to reading each other's unsaid words and Taehyung felt like a fool.
Jungkook had his eyes settled on him, wide and dumbfounded only for Taehyung to skip some heartbeat, his body started to tremble. He knows he might look like a weak, insane person to Jungkook but he doesn't care. Taehyung was already on the verge of breaking apart with all those piled up inside him and the helplessness of not saying it out loud doesn't make him feel any better.
He found no other way instead of drawing his heart out on the paper since he could not work out his feelings for Jungkook. His lovesick soul felt lonely as he stared at Jungkook's perplexed eyes.
"Taehyung-- are you okay? Is something wrong?"
Jungkook sounded worried, the pain lacing through his smooth words and Taehyung pressed his lips together. Everything, everything is wrong. He wanted to say. He kept his gaze on Jungkook, snapping out and wiping his cheeks before shaking his head. Jungkook was about to open his mouth to say something again, Taehyung voiced out with a broken sob.
"What are you trying to say? I can't understand-"
"You should go, Jungkook."
Those were the only words left from Taehyung's mouth. He blinked back the tears stinging inside his eyes, vulnerable to look at the man in front of him.
Stay away. Stay away from me and my heart.
Taehyung kept it in him, pushing Jungkook slightly with his trembling hands. The other didn't say anything back but Taehyung knew Jungkook indeed wanted to know a lot, about what happened to him, about the silent tears and the words Taehyung suppressed, and about the painting. But he didn't ask anything which Taehyung was thankful for as he turned away to face the messy paint palettes and half-finished canvases.
Jungkook walked out slowly, heart shuddering at the sound of Taehyung closing the door behind him. He shut his eyes in a snap, took a deep breath, and tried to clear his head. It was a failed attempt though he couldn't help but wonder what went on in Taehyung's mind or even the portrait he made. Oh, the portrait.
He stopped on his track, staring around space, and then recollected every stroke Taehyung made on that white boring canvas. The day, the rain, and his tears, everything was clear and beautiful, alive and hurting especially when Taehyung was the one who painted that.
For a moment, Jungkook doubted if he could distinguish his real self and the painting, and Taehyung's eyes told him another story.
A story of pain, hope, and waiting.
But Jungkook was not that brilliant to know what they meant to Taehyung.
~ 🍂 ~
Days passed after the encounter with Jungkook, Taehyung skipped his classes and busied himself with the council programs. Though it's been a while, Taehyung remembers that day- clear as the sky above him- how it was raining heavily and how he got scolded by the librarian for entering the library with dampened clothes and muddy feet. He could trace the way Jungkook was sitting there even now just with his eyes.
"Okay, bestie. You need some reality check."
Jimin said, making the hot coffee cup touch Taehyung's hand, the male winced at that and glared at his best friend. Jimin grinned at that, biting on his croissant.
"So, are you sure about tomorrow? That Yoongi guy said to inform the timing of his performance."
Hoseok on the opposite side, sitting and munching on the fries on his plate asked Taehyung. The three were at the cafeteria outside the campus. It was peaceful to sit there, enjoying the scenery around them and most importantly, away from the loud and chaotic students.
"Yoongi hyung's performance was finalized, I'm not sure about mine though"
"Ah, Whyy? Come on, Tae... You should do it. It will help you to get out of this mess you're in. You know, like a change for good. And, I really, really liked it."
"Absolutely, you should try, Tae. People can either love or judge it, but we're not taking hate on ourselves, right? So, There's nothing to lose anyway."
Jimin and Hoseok tried their best to draw a smile on Taehyung's face and when the younger did pass them a small grin, the two cheered loudly. They ate the rest of the food while chit-chatting and gossiping, not letting Taehyung slip into his trance again.
The evening slowly set down, the chaotic artfest starting tomorrow and everyone was so excited. The preparations were done, the practices were tough and finally, the dusk brought them peace with a cup of coffee, inhaling the coldness in the wind and the scent of wildflowers blooming from afar. A small reminder of an anticipated dawn yet to break from the pit of the horizon.
Taehyung hopes everything goes, and happiness comes back. And he would be there where he only loved Jungkook and did not expect the man to love him back.
~ 🍂 ~
"Jungkook-ah..."
The heavy sleepy voice brought him back to reality and Jungkook looked up at the man, pausing whatever he was doing. Yoongi was in his nightwear, tiredness written all over his face, eyes slowly opening at the man, blinking at the light coming from Jungkook's room.
The elder walked inside, mostly, dragging himself in his half-sleepy state, and Jungkook smiled at his hyung's cuteness. Yoongi silently sat on the bed, looking at the younger one who was painting in the middle of the night.
Jungkook was sitting near the window, the white canvas in front of him filled with colors now, bold and faded brush strokes decorating the space and Yoongi couldn't take his eyes off the portrait.
"What happened, hyung?"
Pausing a moment, he turned his attention to the elder, who still had his eyes stuck on the painting.
"Can't sleep."
Yoongi replied nonchalantly, tilting his head as if he was scanning every loophole of the painting, lips twitching occasionally and Jungkook shifted in his place, partly knowing the reaction Yoongi was about to give him. He chuckled softly before saying.
"Hyung, You? You're literally in my room after waking up from a heavy sleep."
"That's what I just said, kid. Can't go back to sleep again now that I slept for hours."
They both passed soft smiles, then fell into silence. Jungkook went back to painting and Yoongi leaned his back on the headboard. He hummed a soft song as Jungkook looked at him again.
"Are you nervous about the performance, hyung?"
For a moment, the elder didn't answer anything so Jungkook thought he already slept but then he heard a soft hum.
"Hm, they do look really different, aren't they?"
Jungkook stiffened at the statement, not knowing how to respond to the elder's words. His glare set on the portrait he made and then looked at the man in his half-sleepy mode. At this point, Jungkook will take Yoongi's words as a sleepy blabber since the man had his eyes drooping low, and exhaustion clear on his face.
"Hyung, what are you talking about?"
Of course, Yoongi knows better. Better about Jungkook, his paintings, and his love. He knows a lot of things about Jungkook better than the younger one himself. So when Yoongi replied in his soft voice, Jungkook couldn't help but admit the skin-seething pain he felt and the urge to scratch himself to hurt only increased.
"They, I mean... Hansung and Taehyung. Of course, they're different. Look at him..."
Yoongi knew what he was saying. But Jungkook doesn't seem to understand it. He was still in a daze and struggled to understand the words. There was a buzz in his ears, and fog in his eyes when he looked at the portrait and then replied to Yoongi.
"This is not him. This is not-- I don't know what you're trying---"
"Jungkook, you seem like you're oblivious but you know it too, right! right?"
No, sh!t. He doesn't know, nor does he want to. He would appreciate it if the universe kept it to itself and did not bring it to his front. Because maybe he doesn't want to confront it.
"Know what, hyung?"
"That the one in your painting is Taehyung!"
There it goes. With Jungkook letting out an unbelievable chuckle and Yoongi raising his eyebrows at the reaction, the surrounding suddenly fell into an eerie silence. It was creepy, haunting even, but Jungkook broke the profound quietness with his deep voice, adding fuel to the melancholy.
"Hyung, I guess you're having a nightmare with your eyes open. This is not--"
"Jungkook, kid..."
Yoongi's words trailed off as if he was the one who was having a nightmare and the elder sounded like he was pulling Jungkook out of his trance. Yoongi smiled softly and then leaned to open the first drawer of Jungkook's bedside table. When he pulled out a rolled canvas and untied the pink ribbon around it, Jungkook felt his breath hitching.
Of course, Yoongi knows. And, by now, he has Jungkook memorized like the lines under his palm, and that's what made his heart stutter. Because Jungkook knows it too. When Yoongi opened the canvas, he knew he was looking at the masterpiece he made before, with his heart, with his passion, and with love.
"Jungkook, this-- this is Kim Hansung, your prince Han."
Yoongi said, keeping the canvas in his hand open and pointing at it. And then his gaze shifted to the one Jungkook's finger glued onto. The paint sticks to his skin and he sees red.
"And, that's Kim Taehyung. The student council secretary."
Jungkook sees red, the scarlet moon, tricking blood, the fading paint- everything around him splutters in a wave, touches the shore, and leaves back to the horizon. Then his eyes stuck on the painting he made. The paint is yet to be dried, and he feels a lump in his throat, a heavy weight on his shoulders.
He sees the man in his painting, wearing a blue Hanbok, eyes wide like a puppy, lips pressed into a thin line, flushed cheeks, and messy hair beautifully combed back. He looks youthful, so petite yet strong. He looks like spring that just bloomed.
And he's different. He's way too different from the painting he made before, on a night like this when sleep was far from his reach. He looked so different from the painting in Yoongi's hands and of course, Jungkook couldn't say what it was, because they looked the same too. They look at him with the same emotions, the same feelings in their eyes.
Maybe Jungkook is too naive or doesn't want to admit it. He poked his inner cheek with his tongue, jaw tightened and eyes dark while switching from one to another painting. As the silence went on, Yoongi rolled the canvas and placed it on the bed with a sigh, and stood up from the bed. He glanced at Jungkook who was now looking at the dried color palette.
"I know you loved Han, Jungkook. I know you loved him so much that you were ready to leave everything behind to live with him. But the universe doesn't work like that, Jungkook.
Sometimes, you end up getting what you need instead of what you wished.
And Taehyung was definitely not a coincidence."
Jungkook blinked twice at the portrait, shifting his gaze to Yoongi's back who left his room in silence. He stared at the paint drying on his fingers, the shine he drew on Taehyung's eyes, and the wide boxy smile. He felt something churning inside his stomach. Something that he never felt.
The ache only grows, shaking him to the core. He pondered over what his hyung said to him and though he doesn't want to admit it, he thinks Yoongi is indeed right.
Taehyung is definitely not a coincidence.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Hello,
No, he didn't say it.
And, when I say Hansung, I mean him-->
And when I say, Taehyung, I mean him-->
And, now what's the difference between these two... Is Jungkook's forte to tell. So, wait a little bit more please, reader-nims:)
See you soon...
~AnecdotesOfABroken