It had taken most of the night, but I'd finally made up my mind. I had to tell Ryder the truth. It took me most of the day to work up the courage, but by the time lunchtime came around, I knew it was unavoidable. Subtly glancing over to his table in the food hall, I was shocked to see him staring back at me. His eyes snapped away when he saw me looking, focusing back on Stacy, who nibbled gently at his ear, whispering something only he could hear. It was like the past week had never happened. He hadn't changed at all.
I turned to Claire for support, and she rolled her eyes as she nodded. Mark shared her disapproving expression, but Anna smiled encouragingly as I stood from my seat with a sigh. Stacy sneered at me as I approached the table, her lips quirking into a cruel smirk as I came to a stop by Ryder's seat. I ignored her and turned to him, trying not to flinch at the sight of his hand on her thigh. She crawled onto his knee, as if to mark her territory.
"Can we talk?" I bit down nervously on my lip.
His eyes were stone cold as he answered.
"No." Turning back to Stacy, he grinned at her delighted giggle, clutching her closer when she kissed him fully on the mouth. Ignoring the unexpected pangs of jealousy, I persisted.
"Ryder."
Stacy pulled away from him with a roll of her eyes.
"Don't you get it you little slut? He doesn't want to talk to you."
Ryder opened his mouth. Whether it was to encourage or protest against her insults I didn't know. I interrupted him before he had the chance to do either.
"Oh I'm the slut? This coming from the girl who's draped over a guy she knows she has no future with, purely because she knows he's a horny asshole who'll pretty much agree to whatever little fantasy your twisted mind comes up with."
Ryder opened his mouth to interrupt, but I glared at him in warning, and his mouth closed.
"And despite the fact that he doesn't care about you at all, you keep coming back to him because no other guy wants to sleep with someone like you ... Someone who'll sleep with anyone with a dick."
My cheeks were flushed as I finished my rant, both from anger and embarrassment from knowing that most of the people in the room were now staring at me.
Stacy's mouth opened and shut several times in shock, taking on a rather fishlike expression.
"Stacy, honey, you can stop that now. It's not an attractive look." Pushing her jaw closed with his hand, Ryder stood from his seat, his eyes softening. A round of sniggers passed through the room as Stacy fell off his knee, her legs falling open as she hit the floor. The geeks on the table near us stared openly, strings of food hanging from their mouths as they stared beneath her skirt in awe. I stifled a laugh, glancing back at Ryder to see him doing the same.
Whilst everybody was still preoccupied, I began to head outside, gesturing for Ryder to follow and hoping he did it soon, before I lost my nerve.
The sun reflected off the zip of his jacket as I glanced at him, blinding me for a moment. I stumbled, sightless, and he caught my elbows gently, seeming amused by my clumsiness. Heading away from the hall, we soon reached a spot out of the view of most of the rooms in school. It was only as we stepped into the patch of shade under the large oak that I realised how hot out it must be today. Strands of hair stuck to the back of my neck with sweat, and my jacket had suddenly become uncomfortably warm. I shrugged it off; earning a questioning glance from Ryder.
"I'm hot." His smirk told me he agreed, and I flushed, telling myself that it was only the heat.
"I realise that what I'm about to say will probably make you hate me. I'll understand completely if you do, but I don't want to lie to you anymore... Even if it means you'll never speak to me again."
I inhaled a long breath.
"When you cheated on Claire, she reacted a little differently than I'd expected. Sure, she cried a little, but she was mainly just mad. She and I were both sick of the way you treated girls, and she asked for my help to do something about it. She wanted me to 'play the player', as she called it..."
I trailed off, trying to gauge his reaction so far. His face looked expressionless, which was almost worse than the anger I'd been expecting. He didn't seem shocked, or even saddened by my revelation of the truth.
"And so I said I'd help her... and I tried, I really did, but I can't do it."
Finally, I could see some emotion in his eyes. One eyebrow raised in curiosity.
"I can't make someone like me enough for me to hurt them, and I can't..."
I swallowed, unable to meet his eyes.
"I can't bring myself to hurt someone I like this much."
There, I'd said it. Still, there was no reaction from him, and I pushed back the tears. He wasn't going to see me cry - not again.
"So I'm sorry." My final apology was barely more than a whisper as I turned to walk away.
He grabbed me before I had the chance, spinning me back around and raising my chin with his thumb and index finger. For the first time today, I looked him in the eyes, and the emotion in them was almost overwhelming.
"I can't help so much with the second part of that, but as far as the first part of it goes... I think you did a pretty good job."
A smile curved up at the corner of his lips as he leant his head forward, his lips brushing ever so softly against mine. My eyes fluttered closed, and when I opened them, he was gone, walking back the way we'd come.
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Hope you enjoyed the chapter.
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-Bree