Nina bit into the roasted redfin, fresh and steaming from the waxy leaf envelope Ardus had wrapped it in before burying it under coals from the fire. The firm flesh flaked apart and the skin crackled, crispy and lightly scorched where some of the leaf had burned away. She sighed and closed her eyes in ecstasy, savoring the rich fatty skin and delicate sweetness from the thin slices of lurefruit Ardus had stuffed into the fish's body cavity after he'd removed the organs and bones. "This is amazing," she exalted, "how do you do it? I mean, I understand the process, but... Why are you so good at this?"
Ardus swallowed his bite. "When you have been around as long as I have, you develop some skills." He wiped lurefruit juice from the corner of his mouth with his thumb.
Nina smiled as she pinched off another piece of fish. The meat fell apart without the aid of a skewer or knife. "Right, because you're ancient."
Ardus gave her a mock-offended look. With a haughty sniff he took a pinch of salt from a little tin sitting on the driftwood log, placed between them so they could share, and sprinkled it on his fish. "You ought to treat your elders with more respect, you know."
"Whatever you say, old man."
Ardus gave her a narrow sideways glare, then opened his mouth and took a bite directly from his fish's belly, holding the fish in its leaf as Nina would hold a sandwich. Nina caught the flash of his distressingly large teeth and paused as she watched them tear away a chunk of fishmeat almost the size of her hand. They look like leopard seal teeth, especially the big front ones. His canines were almost as long as the first two joints of her finger. She plucked another flake while she watched him eat, comparing the Dreen to other creatures she was more familiar with. I wonder what his bite strength is, a thousand pounds? Going by the size of his head and jaw he could certainly crush the bones in her hand and rip the skin and muscle from her arm, but Nina could not imagine Ardus – or any Dreen – doing so. Other things caught her eye, such as the way the deepening late-afternoon light reacted with his dark skin, the reddening sky turning his shoulders and back purple and his chest and face lavender. He hadn't put his tunic back on, and for that Nina thanked the gods profusely.
"Is something wrong?" Ardus asked before taking a swig of water. Nina realized with an embarrassed start that she'd been staring. She looked down at the fish lying on its leaf in her lap and picked at it. She heard him shift in the sand. "You have been staring at me all day."
Nina looked up, meeting Ardus's deeply blue eyes. The way he looked at her, directly and openly with all of his attention, stirred warmth in her belly like stirring the dying campfire would reveal glowing red coals still hot under a layer of cool grey ash. "Er, have I?"
Ardus nodded. He took another bite, chewed, swallowed. "If you have questions, I am not averse to answering them."
"Oh." Nina drank some water to fill the silent pause. What is he doing? What am I doing? "I'm sorry, I don't mean to stare. It's just..." She trailed off and the Dreen gave her an expectant look. Nina worked up the courage to finish her thought. "I don't want to offend you, but sometimes I forget you're Dreen and then you go and do something that reminds me."
Ardus cocked his head. "I do not understand."
Taking a breath, Nina tried to explain. "Okay, so, we've worked together for almost three months, right? In that time a lot's happened and I've had time to get to know you, but sometimes I catch myself thinking of you more like a really big human than... you know."
"Than what?"
"Well," her face heated. "An alien."
Ardus cocked an eyebrow at her. "Correct me if I am wrong, but it would seem to me that you are the alien here." The corner of his mouth quirked and Nina released a breath she hadn't known she was holding. "I mean, yes, but you know what I mean, right?"
"Perhaps. Care to elaborate?"
"Um, well," Nina tore her fish apart with her fingers. "So, maybe it's because I haven't seen another human in weeks, but it's like I don't think in terms of what's human and what's Dreen anymore. When I said I think of you as a big human, that's not what I mean – what I meant was, um, I don't think of you as anything other than... you." She looked up again and watched Ardus peel a bit of redfin skin from the leaf and eat it. "Does that make sense?"
To her relief, he nodded. "You have singled out the individual from the species."
"Yes! That's what I mean."
Ardus plucked a slice of lurefruit from his fish. "Good, I have found myself doing the same." He popped the slice in his mouth, savoring the sweet juice.
"You have?" Something swelled in her chest. "So, you're not offended that I compared you to a human?"
"Are you offended by being one?"
"Well, no, but I've been a human all my life. I just...I guess what I'm trying to say is it doesn't matter." She noticed him pause in scraping another piece of skin, his hand stilling for a moment before he ripped away a piece of leaf to get at the meat. She continued to watch as he carefully considered his next words. It was like watching someone play a complicated game with many moving parts – each move had consequences.
Ardus tilted his head. "May I ask what does not matter?"
Nina shrugged and some of her hair spilled over her shoulder. She pushed it back, but since she had let it air-dry it was wavy and as she had not tied it back the sea breeze tugged it around again. "I guess that I'm not Dreen, or that you're not human. We're different, sure, but that doesn't mean one is more or less than the other. Even humans are different from other humans."
Ardus nodded, finished off his first fish and reached for the second. "As Dreen are different from other Dreen. So, what is it that I do that reminds you I am Dreen, and not just a big human?"
Nina played with her food. "I notice things that I wouldn't notice about a human, like your teeth. They're much bigger than mine, obviously, but they're also more pointed. Look at mine," Nina bared her teeth at him. Leaning closer, Ardus peered at her mouth, nodding. "Yes, I have noticed those before. To my eyes, you have blunt teeth."
"I don't have secondary canines like you do," Nina continued, "I have eight incisors, top and bottom, but you only have four. The others are those big sharp ones. Where I'm from, we'd call those fangs."
Ardus nodded, "On the southern continent where I was born we called them pikes, but on this continent they are called dirks. If you look closely, they are in fact a single tooth with two points." Setting his fish aside, Ardus crossed his legs and turned towards her. He pulled his upper lip away from his teeth and showed her where just at his dark blue gums the teeth fused into one root.
"Oh, that's interesting! That can happen in humans, but it's considered an anomaly and usually it needs corrected. Those look sharp."
Ardus released his lip. "They are. Fortunately, Dreen are born toothless – we do not develop our dirks until we reach about five or six years old. The blunt teeth fall out and these come in."
"Does it hurt?"
"Personally I do not recall, but in general there is some bleeding and soreness when they break through. It is fairly common to see a small child with a bloody mouth."
"Oh, weird!" Nina flinched. "I didn't mean that."
"If you are not accustomed to it, it would be strange. Humans also have deciduous teeth, do you not?"
"Yes, we do. And we lose our baby teeth at about the same age as Dreen kids." Ardus went back to his fish, finishing it in a couple of bites. The breeze off of the sea whipped Nina's hair around, pulling some into her mouth. "Pteh," she spat it out and began to twist it into a rope. As she smoothed her hair with her fingers she noticed Ardus watching. "What's up?"
He looked away quickly. "I did not mean to stare."
"It's fine." Nina paused. "Hey...you've never touched human hair, have you?"
Ardus gave her a guarded look. "I have not."
"Do you want to?"
He blinked. "You... You would let me touch your hair?"
Nina detected a brief flare in his eyes, a spark of excited interest. Looks like you want to. She nodded. "Sure, it's not taboo or anything." She unwound her hair, pulling it all over her shoulder and running it through her hands to smooth it before offering. "Go ahead, just don't pull on it."
Carefully the Dreen reached one enormous hand out, his fingers spreading, the short webbed membranes between them stretching thin. Nina leaned closer and let him run his claws through her hair where it hung loose by her cheek. At first his touch was light, cautious and slow as he became more familiar with the texture. Ardus's eyes widened. "I did not realize it was so fine, or so soft," he rolled a few strands between his fingers and examined them, "like blueback fur. It is beautiful." As soon as he said it, he removed his hand and let her hair drop. "I-I am sorry, that was not-"
"It's fine!" Nina smiled. "I took it as a compliment. Thank you."
"Oh...er, you are welcome." It took him a moment to recover. He looked away briefly and some of his short, dark barbels fell across his forehead. He reached up to brush them back and paused before turning back to her. "Have you touched Dreen barbels?" Nina shook her head, and Ardus startled her by suddenly scooting closer and leaning towards her. His shoulder touched her knee, his driftwood-hard arm warm against her calf. She froze, not sure what to do with the giant head nearly in her lap. "Are you sure?"
"What will you do, hurt me?"
"I can try."
Ardus chuckled. "If I thought you could I would not have brought you here."
Nina paused a moment, looking down at the dark mass. They looked like skinny dreadlocks, each one about as long as her two middle fingers and some as thick as a pencil. In the evening light they looked black, but she knew they were only a few shades darker than his skin. Athe's were brown, almost the same dark brown-black as her own hair, and Meem and Nia's barbels were a deep forest-green darker than their skin. She touched one and was surprised to note that it was warm. Is this...skin? "What's it made of?"
"Keratin, collagen, the same materials that make our skin."
"Can you feel this?" Nina lightly squeezed the one in her fingers.
"Yes. Each strand contains nerves and blood vessels, they are sensitive to pressure and temperature and can feel pain."
Nina ran her fingers through them, marveling at how soft and pliant they were. She wiggled her fingers down to his scalp where the strands were even warmer. As she did, she looked at the few wire wraps and metal rings he wore. "I like the rings, they're interesting. I've been meaning to ask, you don't wear as many rings as I've seen on other Dreen – why not?"
He shrugged, his shoulder pressing on her knee. "A personal preference. Most were gifts from Timam or from friends."
"Oh, that's a thing?" Nina picked up a strand wrapped with silver, finding a simple pattern of tiny glass beads threaded onto the wire. "Can I wear these too?"
Ardus lifted his head suddenly, Nina's fingers still entwined and his face barely a hand's width from hers. "You...want to wear them?"
Nina let her hands drop to her lap. "I mean, if it's okay. If I'm not supposed to, I-"
"No one would object. Here," Ardus reached up and tugged one loose, dropping it into her hand. It was a thick band about half an inch long, made from hammered silver and split down the back to make it adjustable. It was the perfect size for her finger or one of her toes, and it was still warm from being wrapped around the fleshy strand. Nina looked down at it, then back up to him. More presents? "Ardus, you don't have to-"
Ardus folded her fingers around it, his huge hand swallowing hers. "Please, keep it."
"But..." Those large, amazingly blue eyes arrested her, holding her gaze as though they were twin moons and she was the tide. Her belly warmed even as it twisted. "I mean, thanks, but you know you don't have to do this, right?"
"Nina," Ardus moved closer, leaning against the log. Even sitting in the sand he was eye-level with her sitting on the driftwood. "When you first came to work with me, I was not kind to you. I brought you farther than far from your home, your family, and as soon as you arrived I was cold and rude and made you feel unwelcome. I cannot say how deeply I regret how I behaved towards you then, I planned this program myself hoping that it would strengthen the relationship between our people and I nearly sabotaged it. I was a terrible host, and you were hurt because of my negligence."
"It wasn't your fault, the sand-skimmer bit through my glove. It wasn't anyone's fault." She squeezed his fingers. "I'm okay now, everything's fine."
"It happened while you were under my supervision, therefore it is my responsibility. I will not make the same mistake again, Nina. I am sorry for how I behaved, and ashamed that you had to point it out to me. I should have been more considerate of how you felt being on a strange planet for the first time, with strange people."
"Well, you definitely have the strange part right," Nina grinned, and Ardus laughed softly. "Yes, well, I apologize for that too."
"You shouldn't," Nina squeezed his fingers again. "I expected some strangeness before I came here. And the ways that you are strange, I think they're...well," Nina's cheeks flushed furiously, the corners of her mouth pulling into dimples, "I think they're nice."
"You think I am nice?"
"I do now. You're a lot better than you were just a few weeks ago."
"How so?" Even as he asked, Ardus smiled. His smile, even though his teeth were large and sharp, made her belly and thighs feel warm. When he smiled one corner of his mouth drew up farther than the other and his eyes narrowed slightly as the muscles in his face relaxed. That is such a sexy smile, does he have any idea what it does to me? "Well, you smile more, that's for sure. And you laugh, you didn't do that before."
"I am afraid I have always been serious – Timam used to comment on my solemnity," he said, slinging his elbow up onto the log. He rested comfortably against the driftwood, his body turned towards Nina. "She used to say I was much too grim for as young as I was, that I must have an old spirit."
"Not much has changed, I see. You're still pretty grim most of the time." Nina basked in the attention, his attention, comfortable under his languid gaze and with his huge body so close. Overhead the sky had shaded fully purple with streaks of flame-orange and berry-red clouds far out to sea over the setting sun, not enough for rain but plenty for rich color to paint the sand, the sea and the sky instead. Nina looked at his arm up on the driftwood, his forearm parallel to her thigh and almost touching. In the quickly fading rays from the sun his claws glittered but Nina wasn't worried about how long or sharp they were, only how he had been careful, his fingers light as he'd combed them through her hair. He's so gentle... "I'd have thought you were a terror when you were my age."
He rolled his eyes. "Hardly. Timam had to drag me away from my terminal lest I spend the whole night researching. Our few disagreements were over my single-minded interest in teasing out the secrets of northern yellow sandworms and red-banded mollusks."
"I read that paper!" Nina exclaimed, smiling wide. "That was one of your early ones, which means your essay on plugweed and yellow sea worms came out when I was about six months old." Her smile turned to a smirk and Ardus winced.
"Please, do not remind me that I am forty-seven years older than you."
"So? Timam was, what, almost forty years older than you? She must have had papers out when you were five."
"Four, actually." For a moment they looked at each other before laughing out loud, Nina giggling and Ardus chuckling his deep, chesty rumble that Nina could feel in the driftwood beneath her hips. Speaking of his chest... Though the light was steadily fading, Nina could clearly see the deep, hard lines of Ardus's body, the solid mass of his chest and powerful shoulders. Even his arm next to her on the log looked like a piece of granite, except it was twice the size of any human arm she had ever seen. I want to touch it. Instead, she shifted her leg and let her bare skin brush against his, the Dreen's dark blue skin warm and soft.
"You know, I can see why Timam liked you. All I had to do was say something, and you put in a lot more effort to be nice to me. You moved up the date of this trip because you heard me say I couldn't wait to start fieldwork. You've made almost every meal since we got here, even though I offered. You showed me more of Dreenai than I ever thought I'd see before I heard about this program. Thank you, Ardus."
"There is nothing to thank me for – I am still atoning for ignoring you in the beginning," Ardus gave her an earnest look, his eyes soft and wide. "I hope you can forgive me."
"Done," Nina made a sweeping motion with her hand. "Completely forgiven."
"Are you sure? My negligence almost got you killed-"
Nina leaned towards him, laying her hand on his warm, hard shoulder. "Ardus, let it go. It was an accident, it could've happened to anyone."
"But-"
She cut him off. "Nope, you're done. It's water under the hull." She watched him smile again, secretly pleased with herself. Somebody likes women with a little force, doesn't he? "Listen, you don't need to be so hard on yourself. We're different species, for Omi's sake, we're going to have some rough spots. We're going to misunderstand each other, even make each other mad. But that's what we do as scientists, we test each other, we push each other to figure it out. And then we look at the results and see what we can change. Isn't that right?"
Ardus glanced at her hand on his shoulder, and Nina gave it a little squeeze – whatever she could muster with her tiny hand on that massive swell of muscle. When he looked back at her, Nina felt something change – that strange pressure fluctuation again, the air around her shifting as though just over the horizon the sky was gathering a storm. "Yes, you are right."
"Of course I am, you'd best get used to it. Now, as far as getting-" Nina stopped, interrupted by a sudden huge yawn and she pulled her hand away from his shoulder to cover her mouth. "Sea gods, sorry about that! That came out of nowhere, didn't it?"
"It is getting dark," Ardus looked out towards the sea, the last streaks of red and orange just visible on the horizon. He looked back, their eyes meeting easily. "Perhaps we should go to bed." A moment passed, and his eyes widened suddenly and he blurted "S-separately! I meant we should go to bed separately. In...in our own beds." He looked mortified. Nina laughed, her cheeks dimpling deeply. Uh-huh, sure you did. She shifted on the driftwood, brushing her thigh against his arm again. His eyes darted towards her legs and he said, "It has been a long three days, you should go to sleep."
"Well, I would," Nina said with a smile, looking down at the massive hand still curled around her fingers in her lap, "but you've been holding my hand for the last five minutes."
Ardus looked down. "Sea gods!" He snatched his hand back, "I-I did not realize –"
"It's fine! We were too busy having a good time, weren't we?" Nina smiled and uncurled her hand, finding the hammered-silver ring still pressed into her palm. "Thanks for the gift, are you sure you want me to have this one?"
"Er, well, yes, I have others..."
"Tell you what, I'll take care of the fire. You cooked, it's only fair."
"Will you be all right?"
Nina gave him a cheeky look. "I'm a big girl, I can handle it." She smiled confidently.
Ardus stood, taking care to step back as he did so, avoiding her eyes. "Right. Ah, well, I suppose this is good night. Our, er, our transport will be here sometime mid-morning."
"Got it. Good night, Ardus, sleep well."
"Ah, yes, you too." As though walking over a bed of coals, Ardus beat a hasty retreat to his cabin, ducking inside awkwardly and letting the door swing shut with a bang.
Nina waited a few seconds before she covered her face, stifling her laughter with her hands. Oh you big, dumb, blue idiot! She recovered quickly, thumbing the tears from her eyes with a sigh. "Oh Omi, what a day!"
Looking out over the beach, the first flickers of starlight reflecting off of the wet black sand, Nina found herself thinking of Earth, the black sand at her feet reminiscent of the beaches of Maui, Pohoiki, and Punalu'u. Swimming among the colorful coral reef and tall, silent kelp forest with its strange-looking fish and seal-like drybacks had felt almost like home, though the colors and sheer abundance of life felt more like a dream. With full night coming on Dreenai looked more than ever like Hawaii, and the sounds from the wild forest behind her untouched by Dreen civilization recalled nights she'd spent wandering the semitropical forests in her childhood looking for frogs, snakes, birds and lizards. But unlike Earth, Nina had yet to come upon abandoned trash heaps and caches of garbage washed up from the sea.
Nina leaned back and looked up to the sky. Constellations she did not have names for twinkled overhead, the nearest population center too far to drown out the starlight. With each puff of breeze a few glowing red-orange ashes flared in the fire pit, and a single spark jumped up from a burned-out piece of driftwood. The little spark climbed on an air current, rising into the sky until it either winked out or was lost among the stars. This is the most beautiful place I've ever seen. No people, no buildings, just a world in its natural state. Living here would be hard work, but with a view like this... Could I ever leave?
An idea occurred to her then. I'm the first human woman on Dreenai. The first Hawaiian. I should do something special to commemorate this...this auspicious moment. She glanced back at the dome-shaped shelter, making sure she was alone, unseen. Standing, Nina pulled off her cover-up and laid it on the driftwood log, checking just one more time before hurrying down to the water's edge. With her toes in the water, Nina slowly recalled the steps she'd learned from her grandmother as a little girl.
֎
Ardus sat on the pallet in his cabin for some time, willing his galloping heart and clenched hands to rest. You idiot, why did you do that? Remorse, humiliation, and anxiety ran wild through his veins, his head and his chest. "Perhaps we should go to bed", Aku send a hurricane to drown me! Making a gruff, disgusted sound Ardus flopped sideways on the pallet and buried his head under a thin blanket. And I thought it was going so well... He sighed, miserable and ashamed of his actions. They'd been sitting together, trading jokes and playful jabs, all the while her body language telling him she liked it, was comfortable with him so close that his arm touched her soft, brown thigh... She touched me first, he reasoned, she was the one to press her leg against my arm. She did not tell me what I was doing until I suggested she go to sleep. She knew, but she did not tell me to stop.
Rolling to his back, Ardus stared at the dark ceiling and continued to mentally kick himself for being such an immense idiot. I had the same problem when I met Timam. I wanted her, but I could not tell her. I am still as awkward and stupid as I was then. Why am I like this?! It was clear to him that Nina was comfortable being alone with him, comfortable showing herself off and asking questions about him. Ardus allowed himself a small grin. She could not keep her eyes off of me. She openly stared at me, the brazen little thing. He looked down at his bare chest and stomach, poking himself with a finger. I do not look as good as I once did, but still good enough to catch her attention apparently. Would Nina like that? Would she still look at him the same way if he showed her what he used to look like, when his back and belly still rippled with muscle and his skin still glittered with his Collar of Aku, among hundreds of other lights? He threw an arm over his eyes, sighing deeply. Old, stupid fool.
He must have fallen asleep or drifted in misty half-sleep, because some time later Ardus jerked suddenly, startled by a soft, rhythmic sound that did not resemble the waves or the wind. Rather it was a quiet melody, a song, words drifting in through the vent at the top of the cabin and floating down in the dark to his ear. Ardus could not make out the words but he recognized the voice. What is she doing? He lay still for a while, wondering why Nina would still be awake. Perhaps it has not been that long. Rolling to his feet, he stood quietly and listened. With his ear now closer to the vent he could make out some words – it sounded like the common Dreen they spoke, but only as much as any of the dozens of dialects Ardus had heard but did not speak. Creeping to the door, he held his breath and pushed it open enough to let a sliver of pale moonlight spill in across his feet. Putting his eye to the crack, Ardus saw her standing at the water's edge. His eyes adjusted to the starlit night, and his breath caught in his chest. Oh...oh, Omi...
Nina stood with her feet in the water, sea foam bubbling around her ankles. The breeze blowing inland pulled her hair back, and Omi shone bright and beautiful on her face. She'd taken off the pale tunic that hid her soft, round, bronze body, standing – no, swaying – under the stars in her tiny pink outfit washed in soft silver-blue beams of moonlight. She held her arms out, gesturing to the sea as she would a lover, reaching for something far out in the water with slow, graceful movements that brought her hands across her body, forward, and back to her chest. Her hips (oh Omi, those hips!) swung side to side, forward and back, carrying her body in a sinuous, smoothly sensual path that echoed her ease in the water. Her voice carried softly on the wind, her words coming back to Ardus's ears though he did not understand them.
Ardus drew a breath, pulling back from the crack in the door. She waited for me to leave, it must be something very personal. Perhaps this is something I should not be watching. And yet, Ardus leaned forward again and peered through. He watched Nina shift her hips, change the position of her arms, and make simple gestures that Ardus realized he did somewhat understand – when she held her hand up to her ear Ardus knew she was signaling for someone to listen, and that the smooth undulation of her hands resembled the shape of waves. Such a beautiful dance... He caught himself smiling. Oh Nina, if only I was not such a clumsy old man...
Something shiny caught his eye, down by the foot of the doorway. Ardus pulled his foot back thinking it a trick of moonlight, but the glitter stayed. He looked down, expecting a glowing little lightning crab or one of the many bioluminescent insects that lived around this site. A speck of light, hardly larger than a pin-prick and just barely bright enough to see at the edge of the strip of moonlight seeping into his cabin, flashed on the top of Ardus's foot. What is that, a piece of mica? He knew other Dreen used the mineral in powdered form to enhance their skins' shine, and that it was as common on the beach as the bugs. He bent down, letting the door close, and brushed at the spot just above his toes, and when it would not go away he knelt and picked at it with a claw. "Ouch!" The sparkle was firmly attached, and as Ardus got closer he realized – with sudden shock – that it was a pore. One of his bioluminescent pores, after almost twenty years, had begun to glow again.
Standing alone in his cabin, his heart racing, his body suddenly cold, Ardus knew what was coming next – mood swings, changes in behavior and thought, irrational sadness or aggression – all symptoms and side-effects reported by Dreen who had lost and regained their ability to produce light. Is that why he looked so strange to himself in the mirror, why he felt clumsy and uncomfortable? His muscles had been rather sore and his skin tender where his darkened pores resembled the Collar of Aku around his throat. He'd brushed it off as changes that came with age – even Nia said she felt different when she turned seventy, and she was over a century old – but other things had been happening. Just that morning he'd woken up to a different kind of ache, this one in his lower belly where his sex organs were hidden, his groin tender and warm to the touch. Hormones, the same he'd felt when he'd had begun to change from a child to a man, would soon be flooding his body and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
No, no, no! Not here, not now, not her! I am not ready for this!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If the image above is protected by copyright, contact me and I will remove it.
This was by far one of my favorite chapters to write. I had the hand-holding scene in my mind from the very beginning and I still love it! I know it's taking forever to get to the climax (heh, climax) but bear with me just a little longer - there is method in my madness and your patience will be hugely rewarded, if you know what I mean ^_~
If you're still reading, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Starfish is not the first book I've written, but it is the first one I felt confident enough about to share with a wider audience. And it's gotten a far bigger response than I expected - not long ago (12/22/22) we hit 1,000 reads and that number continues to climb, and despite being a writer I cannot express with words how that feels. I sincerely appreciate the comments, questions and constructive criticism and I can say with honesty that my stomach hurts from laughing and my face hurts from smiling. I LOVE you guys! (✿◠‿◠)