Crime And Punishment
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A bright light flashed across my vision as I opened my eyes, making me wince. I blinked a few times until my vision enhanced and I noticed siren lights flashing outside the window. I turned to my side and realized I was now lying on a bed, a hospital bed, and then I saw my mom standing in the doorway talking to two police officers. My dad had just arrived, and he was looking shocked and frustrated as he listened to their conversation.
When I called out "Mom." my mother turned to face me with a little frown on her face.
One of the policemen held up their note and said, "Ma'am, can we talk to your daughter for a moment?"
My father was looking at me in distress and disappointment. Of course, we hadn't been close in a while because he was too busy working nonstop for the sake of the family, but now that he saw that his daughter was in trouble again, this time with siren lights flashing over the side of her face. My dad was frantically wondering, still in disbelief, and questioned, "What did she do, now?"
My mom admonished him, giving him a warning look, "Don't ask in that way," and then she looked back at the policemen, pleading, "May I speak to my daughter first?" They just nodded at my concerned mother.
My mom entered the room, she set the door open in three inches, before she approached me. I sat up, perplexed, my head ached, and I couldn't recall anything. "What happened? Why, why am I here?"
"How are you feeling?"
"I, I don't know." I was still processing last night's party. The hangover was still affecting me, but the environment in this hospital made me feel awake in confusion and stopped my dizziness. What am I doing here?
"It happened again, my dear."
"What happened?"
"You don't remember anything?"
This is what I'm afraid of, something happened without my consciousness, and to make it worse, I was also drunk this time. As I tried to recollect a memory, my brows knitted, and the edge of my eyes began to damped. I remember the fire, fainting and passing out on the floor as people were escaping, and lastly hearing someone's scream in pain, that sounded like Jerry.
"Wait, where is Mia?"
Mom averted her gaze, chewed her lip with a deep frown on her face, she shook her head, "She's in the other room."
"Is she okay?" I asked, surprised that my best friend was also in the hospital. No, she cannot be hurt by the fire, I hope she's doing okay.
"She's badly hurt, dear." That was all my mother could say, but her eyes seemed to want to say more, say about what I did, what I deserved to hear, so me, her daughter, is aware that she's now dangerous due to the fact that there was a two police officers stood outside the room.
I covered my mouth, my heart halted for a beat, I didn't want this, I didn't want to hurt her in this way. Oh, does she hate me now? I was about to get up when my mother stopped me by raising her hand and predicting my reaction. "You can't see her, I'm afraid."
"I swear, Mom, I have no idea what's going on with me."
"Did you have an episode today, didn't you?" Mom searched my eyes, looking for answers.
I frowned, swallowed a hard lump in my throat as I averted my gaze, couldn't keep denying the truth, "I'm scared of myself, mom, this is much worse than I had before,— isn't it?"
"You were only six when it happened the first time, (Y/n), and it wasn't your fault, and this time as well." Mom holding my fist that was clenching the blanket, mixed emotions coursing through me, she added, "You just need a big help, you don't know what is going on with you." I admired my mom more than my dad, she knew who I am and knows how to care emotionally somehow even though she, such as my father, is a workaholic who doesn't have a quality time with their kid, and now look at me, I was a mess, I go to parties, hang out with fake friends and boys for boredom, but that was all in the past, I feel like a new different person now since this incident. However, I just wish Mom wouldn't sugarcoat everything to make me feel better, because by facing reality already makes me feel worse than ever.
I noticed the cops peering over us through the three-inch open door. My heart sinking as my mother finished her sentence, I gulped anxiously, "Did I hurt a lot of people?" I asked. Although she has a point, she was aware of my schizophrenia, she was also aware that every time I see something, something bad happens next, which seemed more than coincidence. Mom's lips quivered, doubting her willingness to respond, so she gave a little shrug and head shake instead, squeezed my hand in comfort, and managed a small nervous smile on her face before slowly getting up and heading to the door to let the cops in to interview me.
"(Y/n) (L/n), you are charged with the murder of Jeremiah Klyne."
"Wait what?" My heart heaved, and I drew my knees close to my chest, panicking. This is much worse than the last time, but this time I actually killed someone. I had no clear memory of killing Jerry, but his screams began to haunt me, and all I could remember was fire, only fire spreading in my vision from that room.
As I stared down at my dextrose hose inserted in my skin and caressing it while I spaced out, the police's long question began muffling when my sudden thoughts running through my mind, hearing noises of flames crackling and people screaming in fear in that party house on fire.
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The shackle glinted in the sunlight as I was caressing it, and I guess I'm officially on probation like these troubled teenagers around me who are stuck in this punishment with three military officers.
"Oi, get up! Get up everyone! We haven't finished cutting branches yet." Randy yelled. We started at 7 a.m., and they gave us this Sword & Cross P.E. uniforms, this outfit only served as probation, and today we were having a punishment for the irresponsible things we did in the school, such as what I did yesterday with Molly, who couldn't stop giving me angry glances in the distance every minute. She despises me for reasons I don't understand.
It had been about two hours, and we were a little far away in the back of the castle, somewhere in the forest, when they assigned us this task of physical training, which is what ROTC does, to discipline us troubled teenagers who need to learn a lesson and just to be a responsible kid mentally and emotionally. I'm not sure if this harsh punishment will help us in the long run because some of these teenagers, like me, were mentally ill.
After zoning out and taking a sip of my bottled water, I noticed people around me giving me dirty and judgmental looks. I'm sure they heard about my fight with Molly and her announcing to everyone that I was a murderer who set a house on fire with people inside, which— is not true. I wish I could say something and remember what really happened, but I guess I can't control what people think of me. Arriane approached me and extended her hand to assist me in getting to my feet. "You okay?" she asked, little bit concerned.
I looked at Arriane, smiled a little, and nodded as I grabbed her hand, and she easily pulled my weight and helped me get to my feet. I guess the short break was over, and I cut about ten branches with Arriane's help.
As I was picking up the ax, a jeep drove around us, and someone from inside was pushed to the ground by a security guard, who announced, "That was your last warning!" and threw the uniform to the kid.
Seth, it was Seth, he winced slightly by hitting his knees on the ground with small rocks on top of it, he picked up the uniform, and raised his thumb up to the security guards in the jeep, "Glad to be here!" he said sarcastically as he rose to his feet.
What the hell.. did he do?
After the jeep drove off, Seth straightened his spine, patting his thighs to make himself presentable, and when he lifted his head, I saw his lips bruised, and looked around the place, seeing people watching him, he waved his hand weakly at them, "Hi." and then he looked over his shoulder and spotted me in the distance, his amber eyes dilated, bit shocked.
"Mister?" One of the officers approached him, breaking our gazes, Seth was just surprised to see me here, to be a part of this training punishment. Seth turned to face them, raising his Sword & Cross I.D. "Seth Adamson." he said flatly and solemnly.
"Mister Adamson, go change into your uniform and perform four sets of ten pushups."
"Sir yes sir." Seth said with a snarky soldier hand sign before quickly removing his white sweater, exposing his hard abdomen and tattoos. Some of the girls watched him change, but Seth's gaze was fixed on me, causing me to look away and continue my work cutting these branches with Arriane.
"That looks like a big trouble." Arriane commented, she saw the bruise over Seth's mouth, she gave me a look of- Now that's how you have to stay away from him.
What brings Seth here? What exactly did he do? Who punched him? Who did he fight with that got him on probation? I returned my gaze to Seth, who was now fully dressed after changing his jogging pants, and noticed his knuckles were plastered with dry blood, which appeared to be someone's blood, as well as a metal bracelet wrapped around his wrist. Seth is one of us.
Arriane and I followed the others to the other side of the woods, where they were transferring cut branches to the truck after we had worked our asses off cutting them. I think I felt my biceps and forearms numbing slightly and stiffening in weariness. As I returned to the truck after transferring the first set, I noticed shadows swirling and emerging from the tree a few feet away, and there was a sparking light like a star shining inside it, and the hair on the back of my neck began to rise when I heard eerie noises and voices behind my ears, "Don't open it, don't open it." I heard my own voice. I'm having hallucinations right now.
But that starlight drew me in for some reason, because I just stared at it, my pupils not moving. I gradually creeping up towards it. "Don't open it." I kept walking while others returned to the base.
Don't open what?
It was strange how I wasn't scared of the shadows with this starlight, as if it was calling for me or warning me, as well as giving me a message, which was why I was so drawn to it, I wanted to see and hear clearly. The starlight did not frighten me, it left me in awe, making my eyes glitter as I walked up to it, getting closer, my hand gradually raising—wanting to reach it. Although this terrified me, but curiosity took over my body and I couldn't control my actions.
Then I heard a twig snap from behind me, startling me, and I looked back to see Seth walking through the trees, "(Y/n)."
"Seth?" And when I looked back, the starlight shadows had vanished in the air. "No."
No, what happened?
What am I doing here?
How did I get here?
I felt like I had sleep walked here without knowing. I'm completely perplexed right now, what was that thing I saw? It was my first time seeing a shadow with starlight, and I was amazed rather than terrified. "No,— did you see that?" I asked Seth, who stood in front of me, puzzled.
"See what?"
"The—," I stammered back, pointing to the air, "The, um never mind, I thought I saw something." I waved him off, trying not to look crazy while wearing an unworried expression on my face.
"What did you see, (Y/n)?" Seth dipped his chin, patiently waiting for my gaze to return to him.
"Nothing." I walked past Seth, but his hand found my wrist and held it pleadingly. "What?" I asked, a glare forming in my eyes.
"Are you okay? You seemed pale."
I looked around the forest, finding my words, and also the shadow if it ever reemerged in a different place in my sight, but it was gone. "I... I think I'm sick after getting soaked in the fucking rain yesterday." I stated bluntly.
Then, from outside the woods, we heard a whistle calling the others, and Seth pulled me behind this giant tree to hide with him while an officer walked by in the distance looking for the rest. "Why are you on probation?" Seth questioned, his brow furrowed.
I scoffed, looking into his eyes and his hand on my arm, which he immediately let go of. I noticed a bruise on his lips and wondered who had punched him so hard. "Molly happened." I explained, and why are we hiding?
"You don't deserve this shit." Seth said as he lifted my wrist to examine the shackle.
"Aw, too late for that." I sarcastically smiled, and when I returned Seth's gaze and he did the same to mine, his amber eyes were warm and alluring, and he examined my eyes more seriously than the shackle in my wrist.
"And this, I should've been there and not let Molly hurt you." He was about to reach for my chin to examine the cut on my bottom lip,— but I moved my head to prevent his touch. Stop, don't do that, pity makes me uncomfortable, not like this.
"How about you let me take this off." Seth sighed, holding my metal bracelet once more.
"You have a key?" I chuckled along with his heroic sarcasm, but if he was being serious,— I don't need his help.
"No need, I can just—" Seth raised my hand, his touch on my cold skin warming, and I quickly yanked my hand away from his grasp.
"No, I need to keep my sanity, and I deserved this." I snapped, not needing Seth's or anyone else's pity.
Seth's hand was still in the air, he pouted and waved his hand weakly, "I'd rather like you for being who you are."
I shook my head from his flirtation jokes, averted my gaze, and asked suspiciously, "Okay, what did you do to end up in here?" changing the subject.
"Earlier, I punched the hell out of Tony."
With Seth's calm voice, I reacted in utter disbelief, "Tony? What did he do?"
"He said nasty things about you, so I punched him through the table to get him to stop."
I didn't know how to react or feel, Seth didn't need to do that just for me, and when we both peeked behind the tree, the officer had returned to the base, I clicked my tongue, shaking my head in disbelief, "You're brutal, oh my god." I said, glancing at Seth, who was smiling sheepishly, and as I continued walking, Seth was following me to keep the conversation going.
"I guess I have good reflexes." A small smile forming on Seth's face.
"Did Tony also punch you?"
"What? No, he's too pussy to punch me."
"Your lips." I clarified, looking at Seth's bruise, which looked like he got hit hard like he did to Tony to get him shut his mouth.
"Oh, well... I was punched by your boyfriend yesterday." Scratching his nape, sheepishly, but that snarky attitude still remains in him.
"My boyfriend?" I came to a halt and looked up at Seth, completely baffled.
"Cam."
"Oh.— we're not,— he's not my boyfriend." I averted my gaze, my face blank except for a flush of embarrassment on my cheeks. But why did Cam punch Seth? What happened? I only remembered seeing them together in the field with me and Molly.
"Hm, that's good to know." Seth said, pausing briefly before casting a quick glance over me.
I shook my head sheepishly as he teased, "Why did he punch you?" I continued walking, carefully watching my feet step on these small stones on the ground. Oh, wait— did something.... happen after my fight with Molly? But why did Cam and Seth get into a fight?
"He was just jealous and couldn't control his anger, so he— gave me this." Seth pointed his bruise on the corner of his lips, still following my path.
"That's horrible."
"Right? He is."
"No, I meant your lips,— are your teeth still complete?" I looked back, waiting for Seth's defensive reaction.
"Haha, thanks for the concern." Seth said flatly, but a small smile remained on his face.
"Oh, you'll be fine." I gave a soft smile, making Seth chuckle from my joke.
After three hours of military exercises, training, and cutting these branches, we were exhausted. We walked back to the Sword & Cross Academy as part of punishment, and the sky above us was so bright and hot that some of us had to remove our Sword & Cross jackets, which I wrapped around my waist. It's noon, and it's time for lunch. Some of us went to Augustine to shower, while others went to eat. Arriane and I chose the first option because we didn't want sweat lying on our skin.
I coughed so much this day that my throat became dry, and I sometimes felt shivers in my neck and down to my spine as I felt the cold breeze. Hell, I didn't even take a hot shower after getting drenched in the rain yesterday after my fight with Molly, perhaps that's why I felt sick while on probation.
By remembering my best friend Mia from earlier in the day. I'd like to see her again and properly apologize to her and,— I also missed her and our friendship. I wished she would give me another chance to talk to her and explain what had happened, I wished I could see her right now, this guilt is killing me—wait, what if I can?
I took a hot shower, it was nice and cozy, and changed out of my Sword & Cross uniform into a regrettable outfit with these red flannel long sleeves and a thin-tank-crop-top because I still get cold sometimes but anyway—.
As I entered the cafeteria, I quickly sat next to Penn in the table, setting my lunch down before turning to Penn's confused look from my sudden approach and serious expression, "Uh hello?" she said with a sheepish smile, and while I waited for Luce to get up as she had finished her lunch.
"Can I ask you a favor, Penn?" I asked as I watched Luce walk to the counter with her tray.
"What's up?"
"Can you help me?"
"Why? What's going on? "
"I'm going out tonight to see a friend, and it's very urgent."
"How urgent?"
"Very, very urgent, and this is the last chance I have to speak with her."
"So. It is kinda big deal?"
"I have to get out of here tonight and see my friend," I replied with a nod. "And I need you to tell me where the garage is."
Penn dipped her chin, raising her brows, giving me, are-you-serious? Look, she waved her hand to process her thoughts in her head, narrowing her eyes, "Wait, wait, you mean you need a car?"
"Or a motorcycle that I need to borrow. I just need a ride out, but don't worry, I'll return after I see my friend."
"Well..," Penn scratched her forehead, a worried expression on her face, "It's somewhere in the underground where we snuck out last time for Roland's party."
"Oh, I should've known that," I looked away, thinking about my plan while tapping my finger on the table, an excitement and challenge enthralled me. "So, tell me exactly where the garage is."
"But, I hate to disappoint you, that garage is always locked, we need a key to open it, but we don't know who has it."
My eyes were lit up, felt relieved that my plan was about to go well until Penn broke the bad news, "Ugh, I guess I'll go to plan B." I slightly grumbled, wanting to smash this smashed potato even more with my spoon in annoyance.
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