Narrator
Kim Minji was a doctor at a psychiatric hospital. She was smart, beautiful, and well awarded. One of the best in her field.... until she met a specific patient.
- Y/N POV -
"Doctor Kim, you don't deserve to carry the weight of others. It's unfair for you to sit here and listen to me... I'm sure you have your own problems to deal with," I genuinely told the doctor.
"It's fine. I'm trained for this," Dr. Kim responded.
"I insist, you should take this opportunity to let things off your shoulders too" I responded in resistance.
"I am serious, you shouldn't have to leave here with all our weight on your shoulder," I continued on.
"This is my jo-"
"Okay, I would feel much better and well adjusted if we had a two way conversation. You share and I share... not you ask questions and I answer... like this is some sort of interrogation," I interrupted her before she could give me another excuse.
"Very well, if you insist" Dr. Kim responded.
Dr. Kim is gorgeous.
I've heard she's done wonders on people.... cured them even.
She might have even been my type if it wasn't for the whole white coat and evaluating my sanity thing.
"Why did you feel the need to blow up the bar where your ex lover worked at?" The Doctor asked again.
"You're a smart lady, you tell me why someone might do that" I smirked at her as I put my elbow on the table and placed my chin on the palm of my hand... staring at her.
Dr. Kim copied my position then answered, "Well... most of the time it's obsessive love... jealousy even."
"Were you jealous, Y/n-ssi?" The Doctor asked.
"Have you ever been in love, Doctor?" I asked in turn.
"I asked you first," The Doctor replied.
"See you asked me a question in the beginning... now it's my turn," I smuggly replied.
"Well... I'm talking to you like you asked.. so I think it's only fair for you to answer my question," The Doctor coldly spoke.
I got off my chair, yawning and stretching, then began to walk back to my room as I said, "When you're ready to have an actual fair conversation, you know where to find me."
As I walked away, I heard The Doctor sigh then a headbang on the table.
Days went by, then weeks.
Each day Dr. Kim would come out to the yard during rec time to :get me for our sessions.
She always stared at me with those empty eyes.
Our sessions never lasted long. She'd ask a question, I'd answer, then I'd ask a question in turn, i'd get no answer... and the session would end.
"Can you just please tell me how the hell you ended up murdering all those people?" The Doctor groaned at me as she laid her head on the cold table that separated us.
"It's been 2 months... please lets just get your evaluation over with," She continued on whinning.
"Fine." I said coldy.
Dr. Kim instantly lifted her head up with a slight smile curling up on her face.
"On one condition," I added.
The Doctor sighed again and said, "Fine."
"Answere the first question I ever asked you," I told The Doctor.
The Doctor tilted her head in confusion. She furrowed her eyebrows as she seemed to began to think.... maybe to try and recall what my question had been.
She looked adorable.
I had become quite fond of The Doctor at this point. She was persistent and stubborn. She always wanted things done her way.
It was sexy to watch.
Dr. Kim didn't seem to remember my question, so she just stared at me.
"My question was.... have you ever been in love?" I reminded her with a slight chuckle.
The Doctor leaned back on her chair and crossed her arms.
I leaned back on my chair and crossed my legs... waiting for her answer.
"Well of course I have," The Doctor coldly answered me.
"And you know how you'd do anything for the people you love?" I followed up.
Dr. Kim simply nodded her head.
"Well, I was in love with this girl. She was my ride or die.... my partner in crime... my Harley Quinn if you will," I began to explain.
"Until one day, she betrayed me. She slept with my right hand man," I continued on.
"Why not just find another Harley Quinn?" The Doctor interjected.
I ignored her question and continued on, "She ended up killing him once I found out about their affair. Then she tried to blame it on me.... called the cops... faked evidence. The whole nine yards."
"That's when you ran from the cops," The Doctor commented.
She was very calm and attentive. She nodded at my words and made me feel heard.
I nodded in response and kept talking, "We had promised that we'd burn the world to the ground if we were ever driven apart.... and so... that's what I did."
The Doctor nodded. She just stared at me, pinching at her lip and playing with it.
My mind started to drift as I watched her touch her lips like that... "I wonder how they taste," I asked myself.
"If I kissed her would I maybe become a bit more sane... more normal?" I thought.
"I don't get it," The Doctor said snapping me out of my thoughts.
"What don't you get?" I asked in turn.
"You caught a building on fire and burned everyone in it because of a promise?" The Doctors asked looking a bit confused.
"I did it because when you love someone, you'd do anything for them. We promised to burn it all down if we were ever separated and that's what I did," I explained to her.
"That's still not even a coherent reason to burn down a building and kill people," The Doctor said as she furrowed her brows.
Her demeanor had changed.
She wasn't serious anymore. She wasn't calm either.... she looked genuinely confused.
"Are you sure it wasn't jealousy?" Dr. Kim asked.
"Doctor, if it was jealousy... I would have just killed the person who made me jealous. Whether it be my girl or another," I answered her.
"I see," The Doctor responded.
"So, you did it out of love?" Dr. Kim said with a tone of disbelief.
"Wouldn't you do anything for the one you love?" I asked her in turn as she wrote something of her notes.
"I'd do anything for you," I stated.
Dr. Kim then froze and looked up at me.
- Minji POV -
"I'd do anything for you,"
I froze for a moment at the sound of those words.
"Was that a confession?" I asked myself. I then shook my head trying to shake the thought away and recollected myself.
"Alright, Y/n-ssi... thank you for finally talking. We are now done with your evaluation. It may take a few days to hear back from the court so for now you'll remain here," I explained then got up to leave.
Y/n-ssi immediately stood from their chair too and extended their hand towards me, saying "It was wonderful working with you."
I hesitated for a bit but then shook their hand. "Same to you," I replied.
As our hands touch, I felt a strange sensation traveling up my arms.... like a jolt of electricity or something.
After our hand shake, Y/n-ssi bowed at me and I retreated to summit my paperwork for the court.
I recommend that Y/n-ssi stay at this facility on grounds of delusions. I wanted to keep observing Y/n-ssi. They were the most intriguing patient I had ever met.
Y/n-ssi wasn't what everyone made them out to be. Y/n-ssi was polite and well mannered, very smart, calm, not violent at all.... caring even.
It was interesting to see that such a person had committed such a horrible crime.
After a week, The Court approved my recommendation.
I was to meet Y/n-ssi once a week and report back to the court. This was to happen for the next two year in which then... if possible... and in healthier conditions... Y/n-ssi could return to society.
"Umm, Dr. Kim...? I just received this letter that I'll be staying here....," Y/n-ssi said in a confused tone as they approached me.
"Yes, you'll be under my care from now on" I answered.
"Okay, well I like you. I trust you. I guess this is a good thing" Y/n-ssi responded in a more positive tone.
Soon enough, our sessions had started. I put Y/n-ssi on some anti-psycothics and monitored them for a few weeks.
Nothing seemed to change.... instead... it got worse.
Y/n-ssi was getting antisocial and isolating. They weren't eating much and had lost quite a lot of weight, but without fail and without having to be asked.... Y/n-ssi took their meds.
In our next session, I wanted to tackle these changes.
"I've noticed you haven't been eating much, why is that?" I asked.
No response.
"You also haven't been talking much either.... to anyone.... is there a reason behind that?" I followed up.
No response.
Y/n-ssi just sat there with a blank expression.
"You never fail to take your medication, but you're supposed to take your meds after a meal. Why aren't you doing that?" I continued on trying to get a response.
Finally, Y/n-ssi spoke.... "I wasn't aware of that."
"I see, I guess that's my fault for not explaining things before" I responded.
"How does the medication make you feel?" I asked waiting to take down notes.
"It makes me feel... lonely.... and empty.... but you're The Doctor and I trust you," Y/n-ssi monotonely answered.
I took a deep breath and set my pen down. I was concerned. Thiisn't the person I met.
"Don't take it if you don't feel like it's helping you," I sighed out.
"I told you. I trust you and I'd do anything for you. So I'm taking my medicine just as you recommended," Y/n-ssi responded with a little smile.
That smile made me smile.
"Alright, well you know your body better then anyone and you know what you need.... but from now start taking your medicine after you eat something. If you still feel like it's not helping you then we'll consider something else," I responded as wrote down notes on my paper.
Our session ended and it was finally time to go home.
It was a Friday night and I was looking forward to attending a party with my friends.
I hate to admit it, but Y/n-ssi saying that I didn't have carry so much weight on my shoulders really helped me loosen up and try new things.
- Y/N POV -
I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning.
This empty feeling was drowning me and I couldn't breathe.
I finally gave in and got up to get my medication.
I hated it... I hated my medication. It made me feel hallow and empty... but it's what Dr. Minji had prescribed... and I trust that she had my best interest in mind.
I walked up to the medicine window when I was suddenly greeted with a colorful back. The owner of that back turned to face me and I got spooked.
I stepped back a bit in shock.
"Oh, Y/n-ssi! What are you doing up?!" Dr. Kim exclaimed with a cheery voice.
I was taken off guard and stepped back even more, filled with confusion.
"What are you wearing?" I asked her being so confused.
"Oh, I'm going to a party with my friends.... and I forgot my wallet in my office. I didn't think anyone of the patients would be awake at this time," Dr. Kim explained.
"What do you think? Do I look cute?" She then asked making poses at me.
"Did I finally lose my fucking mind?" I asked myself a bit terrified.
"I- I-... Well.. I-I.... I think I've lost my mind," I tried to answer then closed my eyes and turned to walk back into my room, thinking it was probably just another delusion of mine.
Suddenly, I felt someone grabbed my wrist. When I opened my eyes... I was greeted with Dr. Kim's slight smile.
"You're not crazy. It was completely inappropriate of me to show up to the hospital dressed like this.... even if I am off... I'm sorry if I scared you," The Doctor apologized.
I looked down at our hands and I could feel a jolt of electricity running through my veins. It felt wonderful.... like I could feel something again... I didn't feel empty anymore.
Unfortunately, that moment was short lived when she let go of me.
"Y/n-ssi, here. I'll help you with your meds" Dr. Kim said, then went behind the medicine window to get my meds.
She came back with my medication and an apple in hand.
"Here, so you don't take your meds on an empty stomach" Dr. Kim said handing me the apple.
"Now, let's get you back to bed" She added as she walked me back to my room.
I took a few bites of my apple then drank my medication. The Doctor lifted my covers for me and I crawled into my bed. Doctor Minji then started to tuck me in... tucking my blanket on each side of me.
It felt warm and loving. I felt another jolt of electricity running through my body. I wanted to just pull her down by her shirt and... maybe.... kiss her.
"Alright, all settled. Goodnight, Y/n-ssi!" The Doctor said with a wide smile then started to exit my room.
Just as she was about to leave, I said "Oh Dr. Kim!"
The Doctor turned to looked at me and I said, "Yes.... you look cute in that outfit."
The Doctor giggled and seemed to blush a bit. She then turned off the light to my room and left.
The next few days... I felt like shit... I was irritable. I hated the sound of noise and didn't want anyone talking to me.
I had chosen books to cope. Reading helped me filter out the noise.
I had read about 5 books by the time I had my next meeting with The Doctor.
"I've noticed you've been reading a lot.... is that to avoid people?" Dr. Kim asked bluntly right at the start of our session.
"Yes," I coldly replied trying to avoid her gaze.
"So, I take it the medication is still not helping?" She followed up.
"No," I answered looking down at the table in front of me.
"Alright, then let's take you off it" The Doctor responded as she wrote on her notes.
It got quiet for a view seconds. I could feel The Doctor looking at me... but I couldn't look at her..... I had failed her.
"Have you been to the hospital library yet?" The Doctor suddenly spoke.
"No," I answered her shortly.
"Follow me," The Doctor said then got off her chair.
I followed her as she walked passed the medicine window, passed her office, then turned down a dimed lit hall.
She turned on the lights as we as we walked down the hall then opened a big wooden door.
"Here we are!" The Doctor exclaimed as she looked at me with a bright smile.
I was stunned. The library was big and clean. It matched the look of the whole hospital. White and spacious.
"The library is a special privilege that not many get... but since I can't think of anything to prescribe you at the moment... I'll let you use it until I figure things out," The Doctor explained.
"You can use it whenever you'd like, just make sure when you pass the medicine window you tell them you're coming to the library. You can come here to read or relax or hide... when you're feeling anxious or just want to be alone," The Doctor continued to explain.
"All that I asked is that you treat this place with respect and keep it clean," She continued.
"So, what do you say? Do we have a deal?" Dr. Kim asked as I roamed the library looking at all the books.
I turned to look at her with a smile that I couldn't wipe off my face. "Yes, thank you so much!" I responded with a ninty degree bow.
"Go ahead. Pick a book. We can read it together for the rest of our session," The Doctor ordered sweetly.
My heart started to race and I felt the electric jolt all over again... but this time it was stronger.
As I looked through the books to pick, a specific book caught my eye.... one I had read before. "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm.
"Interesting choice," The Doctor suddenly said coming up from behind me.
"I've read this before but since you'll be reading it with me. I'd love to hear your psychological perspective on it," I answered her handing her the book.
The Doctor took it and flipped through the pages a bit. She bit her lip a little.... and I lost my control....
I leaned in to press my lips on her's, cupping her face in the process. The Doctor quickly tried to pull away and I pleaded her not to.... "Please, I need this. You said I know myself and my needs better than anyone... and I need this... I need your love. It's the only thing that makes the insanity... the emptiness... go away."
Dr. Minji then caressed my cheek and pressed her forehead against mine.
"Does this really make you feel better?" She whispered, staring right into my eyes.
"Yes," I whispered back.
The Doctor then leaned in to kiss me but quickly pulled away.... "I can't."
I wrapped my hand around the nape of her neck and pleaded.... "Please."
We both then slowly leaned in and kissed. Our lips starting to find a rhythm... Suddenly, The Doctor pulled away.
"No. Don't," I said as she tried to pull my hand away from her the back of her neck. Dr. Kim then placed a hand on my chest and took a deep breathe....
"If I do this, it'll be temporary. Only until I can find an alternative treatment for you," She whispered to me.
I nodded in agreement. "I understand," I answered her.
She then leaned in to kiss my lips once more. The kiss got deeper and deeper. Our tongues began to dance with one another and before we knew it, we were on the couch trying to see who would gasp for air first.
Dr. Kim was straddling on top of me as I leaned on my back, sitting on the couch.
"You make me crazy!" She whispered against my lips as I held her by the small of her back.
"You make me sane," I whispered back intensifying the kiss.
The Doctor then started to pull away from my lips slowly and whispered, "Do you feel better?"
"Mhm," I hummed in response.
"But just a little more to last me through the day!" I said as I lifted her a bit then placed her on her back on the sofa, kissing on her lips.
The Doctor giggled and kissed me back, placing her soft hand on my cheek.
We both eventually pulled away, looking all flushed and smiley.
"So, are we going to read the book?" The Doctor asked.
"Yes, I'd love to hear your perspective on it" I responded running my thumb along her forehead.
"Oh, you were being serious?" The Doctor giggled out.
"Yes, I love how smart you are... of course, I'm being serious" I responded with a chuckle.
The Doctor then pecked my lips and we both sat up on the couch.
I watched attentively... admiring her beauty as she began to read the book.
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Author's Note: More parts coming soon... but what did you think? Was y/n just having another delusion or did Dr. Kim really just give in? >.<