♡ Alaiya's POV: ♡
You know when something big suddenly happens in your life and you're so in shock that you feel numb to it? I wish I could feel that. I wish I didn't feel my heart tightening in my chest and the painful flashbacks of every single memory I've ever had with my parents flickering in my head like a powerpoint.
In Vampire Diaries, they literally switch off their emotions. I never thought I'd be jealous of a vampire until now.
How does someone even feel numb to anything? How big does it have to be for something like that to happen because my parents randomly showing up at our door after not seeing me for years seems pretty significant? I wish I didn't care so much about everything. I wish I could be like those people who walk through life with their heads held high. Not just people though, women. Strong and mentally stable women who can stand their own ground.
No, you know what I'm doing instead? I'm forcing myself to sleep because sleeping is my favorite way to avoid big problems like this.
I feel weak and I despise it.
"Look who wants to see her mom!" Skyler walks into our bedroom suddenly with Aubrey in her arms after knocking of course.
My eyes feel heavy and squinted, the light from the sunset hitting me like a bullet.
I can't control the smile that comes onto my face when I see both of them.
The second Skyler sets Aubrey down in my arms, she hugs me tightly and doesn't let me go with her arms around my back. She seems to be half-asleep but keeps jerking her eyes open to smile up at me.
I lied. Our kids, Roman, our friends, and sleep are the only things that can help me get through problems like this.
I wrap my arms protectively around Aubrey because I want to shield her from all of this. I never want her to have the struggles I did growing up. I never want her to see me in the position that I had to see my mother in. I want her to have a strong mom to whom she can look up to. I want everything for her, Dayton, and Autumn.
"Don't forget me!" Skyler walks over on the other side and hugs me the way I'm hugging Aubrey. "You even wake up looking pretty. It's so unfair."
I laugh at her mumble because I know very well that I most likely look like a mess every time I wake up, especially from a nap.
"Don't lie to me," even my voice sounds drained.
"If I wasn't a married woman, I promise that you'd be on my soulmate list that no one even knew about because that's how VIP it is," she states firmly.
"Who else is on that list?" I question curiously.
"Theo James of course." I already knew about that one. "Ivy, Bethane, Iris, oh, and Jaxon I guess." I laugh at that.
"How is Sanchez?"
"We were on our way to a random park, and the second Roman told us what happened, he turned that car around so freakin' fast to make sure that you were okay."
Guilt consumes me simultaneously.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your plans."
"If you ruined our plans, don't you think that we wouldn't have come or made up an excuse? I'm not kidding when I say that Jaxon swerved that car around. That's the point of our friend group. When I needed you guys, you were there immediately, and when you need me or any one of us, we'll be there too. It's how our family works." She smiles at me while laying on my shoulder.
"Why do I feel like you guys are here for me more than I am for you?" Tears swarm my eyes.
"Are you kidding me!? Alaiya, I one time said that I loved a specific kind of chocolate randomly, and for my birthday, you got me the specific one even though they were at literally no stores in the country and you also got me different flavors of the brand that you knew I'd like and I did. And if any one of us has any problems, you are the first person to respond and help us in any way you can. You don't give yourself enough credit for how caring you are."
I understand what she's saying. But when other people do things for me, it makes me feel bad because what if they feel like I don't care for them as much as they're showing they do for me? And if I do let people help me, then am I being an attention seeker? What if I am? I know I'm not, but what if?
"Your parents are gremlins," Skyler randomly says, and that's when I have to laugh uncontrollably. "I swear, I'm being so serious."
"I think I'm not sad anymore because of that comment," I tease.
"Really? So you won't need this?" She digs in her purse and pulls out two pieces of paper.
I unfold the sheet and begin to read, realizing that it's tickets for a cruise to Hawaii for Valentine's day week.
My eyes widen instantly. "You got us cruise tickets because I was sad?!"
"No," she scoffs. "I got everyone cruise tickets because you were sad and I thought a little getaway with your family would make you feel better." She pulls out a stack of more tickets.
Her saying 'with your family' was enough to get me out of my slump, but the tickets were way too much.
"How much were they? I'll pay you back for our part or half of the group's," I immediately say as Aubrey sits up with me, cuddling further into my chest.
"Pfft, you think I paid for these. Jaxon does not own a business for funzies. Plus, you know our husbands. They never take back what they give, especially presents." She is right about that, though I still feel bad about him paying for all of us.
"But that's beside the point. The point is that even though they're your parents, it doesn't mean that they're your family. You can create your own family and you did. You pushed out three kids and look at how beautiful they are." Skyler kisses
Aubrey on the cheek which makes her open her eyes a smidge with the tiniest smile and then fall back asleep, "Now, you can still be sad because that's completely understandable, but you can't beat yourself up for this so come on." She pulls me up after putting Aubrey to the side carefully on a pillow which leads to me groaning since I've been laying down for so long. "Take a nice, hot shower. If you want to cry some more, go for it. Do a whole self-care routine, and then eat the food Roman made for you because I'm stealing some too. Promise?" She holds out her pinky.
Skyler is even more prominent on her pinky promises than I am. If you break one of those, you're actually an awful person and she'll never trust you again.
"I promise," I agree because she's right, interlocking our pinkies.
"Okay, now I need your advice on something and I wouldn't change the subject if this wasn't serious," she says, her demeanor looking more afraid now.
"Is everything okay?" I scrunch my eyebrows.
"Which is worse? The newborn phase or the toddler one?"
I'm about to respond since I definitely know the answer, but then realize that this isn't just a random Skyler question. Why would she ask about this?
My mouth drops so quickly that I have no time to stop it.
"Are you pregnant?" I ask.
Skyler and Sanchez didn't want to have kids too quickly. They wanted to enjoy their time without kids before enjoying their time with them. I just didn't think that it would mean now.
Skyler pulls out another sheet of paper from her pocket, this one definitely not a ticket.
She barely has time to show me before I swing my arms around her, so happy for them.
"Congratulations! You guys are going to be such great parents!" I squeal, swinging back and forth as she laughs into my shoulder.
Although, that's when I feel the tears fall onto my shoulder, and they don't seem like happy tears.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I panic for her, pulling away with both my hands on her shoulders. "Do you not want this? Is it too early?"
"Jaxon doesn't know," she whispers. "It's his, of course, because I would never let another thing inside of me and-," she begins to ramble but I stop her with a small laugh.
"Skyler, I know it's his and no one would suspect anything else including him, but why haven't you said anything yet?"
She wipes the water away from her eyes aggressively.
"You know you can tell me anything and I won't judge you," I reassure her, one hundred percent meaning it.
"Because what if he's not ready?" she explodes. "What if he wanted to wait longer or doesn't even want kids anymore? I don't want him to feel pressured by this."
"Skyler, Sanchez literally kisses the ground you walk on. You could tell him to climb Mount Everest with you and he would do it in a heartbeat. I'm sure he's going to be so excited to have a child with you and add someone else to your family. He's literally the luckiest man on this earth because he has you and he knows it. And if he doesn't which we know isn't true, Ivy, Bethane, Iris, and I will beat him up for you."
She laughs at that, still crying while nodding.
"Alaiya, I'm pregnant." She smiles, those tears turning happy which gives me my answer to if she wanted this or not.
"And you're going to be the best mother ever." I pull her in for another hug. "And please don't hide anything because you think I'll look at your differently or that you're expected to think that way because you're not. You have the right to choose how all of this goes for you."
"I promise I actually am happy," she says, and that gleam in her eyes tells me she's telling the truth. "But I haven't told anyone, so if you wouldn't mind-."
"Told anyone what?" I question, playing dumb.
"I love you," she says.
"I love you too, and so will Sanchez when he finds out."
As she's nodding to that and wiping away the tears so no one suspects anything, the door opens abruptly, Roman walking in because it is our bedroom.
"Alaiya is this red or orange because Autumn keeps saying it's red and Sanchez fucking agrees even though he's as color blind as a-." Roman puts the doll down when he sees the picture that's hanging loose in Skyler's hand that she forgot to put away, his eyes widening just like ours simultaneously.
"Ro-Ro!" Skyler exclaims, quickly putting the picture behind her back, but it's obviously too late. "Good news, Alaiya's feeling much better."
"You're fucking pregnant?!" Roman doesn't even pretend to play along or hide what he now knows.
"What? No," Skyler scoffs, pulling out the picture. "This is a coloring page that I wanted to show Alaiya."
"Skyler." I shake my head, telling her to give up because a coloring page of an ultrasound sounds very weird.
"Fine, yes! I'm pregnant," she gives in. "But Jaxon doesn't know so you can't tell him."
Roman gives her a genuine smile. "I won't," he promises, walking up to me to wrap his arm around my back.
She smiles at that, fear obviously written all over her face because of the secret she's hiding.
"And congratulations. If you need anything from us, just ask."
That might be the most emotion Roman has ever shown in front of our friends. He's growing!
"What if you told him for me?" Skyler rocks back and forth on her feet, the idea coming out of nowhere.
"No!" I immediately exclaim.
Maybe that was too quick.
Roman looks down at me, a little offended that I objected to the idea so fast.
Okay, hear me out. If Roman were to give the news, he'd say it so bluntly and probably curse in the middle too. Skyler should be the one to tell Sanchez in her own way since she knows him better than any of us.
"I meant that you would know him better so you should tell him," I quickly cover my tracks.
Roman nods sarcastically down at me to which I roll my eyes to.
"Okay, he'll curse," I admit. "But I also meant what I said before."
"Fine, how about this. I'll try to tell him on the cruise and if I can't do it, then Roman will be my backup."
That doesn't seem like too bad of an idea. I'll have to practice with Roman a few times on how to not say any bad words when talking to Sanchez, but it is just a backup so it doesn't mean it'll be necessary.
"What fucking cruise?" Roman questions confused.
Never mind, we're going to need a lot of practice.
♥ ★ ❦ ✱ ♥
Word Count: 2230
*Please tell me if there are any errors.