"No."
"Yes."
"No."
Link inhales slowly. "Yes, Mae."
"Read my lips, genius. NO." She crosses her arms.
"You're so freaking stubborn!" He snaps.
"Heck yeah I am." She glares. "Find some other way to help me."
"This is the only way!" He tuts. He slaps his hand onto her Xray. "Look. Look at that - your body is rejecting the bullet now and it's pushing it out. Your bone is weak and the muscle around it is dying. Do you want to lose your leg!?" He demands.
"I want a doctor who will listen to what I am saying - I am not having a surgery!" She snaps.
"You have no other options!" He snaps back slowly so she hears every word. "You need it out and you need it gone soon."
"We'll see." She grabs her jacket as she jumps down.
"Mae, I swear to you now, if that bullet isn't out by the end of the year then you are highly likely to face complications and probably lose the leg." He snaps sternly. "I'm trying to do what's best for you."
"No you're not." She storms out.
Link sighs and throws his hands up in frustration. He really has explored every option; she needs the surgery and she needs it now. It's already damaged her body, why is she letting it do it more?
"Hey, tough case?" Meredith raises an eyebrow as she passes.
"Enfuriating." He mutters and sighs.
"That was Jackson's new thing, right?" Mer wonders.
"Yeah, Doctor Wigan." He gathers her notes. "She's a vet."
"Ah. Vets are the worst patients." Mer nods, leaning on the door. "Whats she like? I haven't had chance to talk to her much since I got back from Minnesota. What's she like? Everyone seems... hooked."
"She's a good person." He nods. "Awesome surgeon. Stubborn as fu-frick." He shakes his head with a sigh.
"Maybe ask Owen how to help?"
"Owen would go mad - they're good friends."
"Seriously? Owen made a friend? Wow, I've been gone too long." She shakes her head. She took one research position for 6 months and everyone changes.
"Just... please don't talk about it to anyone, I shouldn't have talked to you." He shakes his head.
"Yeah... you got it." Mer nods once.
-
Mae leans on the edge of the wall, looking over the side of the roof. She likes the quiet now (sometimes) - this is the only place she can get it while at the hospital. She's trying to think over what Link said. You could lose the leg. She doesn't want that. Definitely not, absolutely not. But....she can't do the surgery. She won't.
Truth be told? She's utterly terrified. She works in a hospital, sure, but she's deadly afraid. Doesn't like being on the opposite end. Especially after the last time. She was at her lowest the last time she had a surgery - after being shot. She spent 2 months in the hospital and with every passing day she felt herself losing it more and more. The loss of control, loss of power. She had to rely on others, others she a) didn't trust , and b) who gossiped about her at every waking moment.
To put herself back in that situation? The lowest point of her life? It's almost a death wish. Half of her already wishes to be gone from this world, to be in a place where Tyler is, she doesn't want to sink deeper.
Her phone vibrates and she jumps in surprise, reaching for it. "Hey." She swallows the lump in her throat.
"How'd it go?" Jackson asks. "I came to meet you but I can't find you, where are you?"
"I uh... I needed space to think. It wasn't good. Link and I are in a bit of a disagreement." She admits, turning her back to the wall and leaning on it.
"Oh?" Jackson stands in the hallway with a hand on his hip.
"He wants to operate. Like now, as soon as possible."
"Okay?" Jackson asks confused. Frowning deeply. "So?"
"I... dont want surgery. Its not an option." She shakes her head and looks at her converse.
"Don't be silly, course it is. If it's time off work you're worried about, it's all covered. I'll take care of you, help you recover-"
"It's more than that Jackson. I... I can't explain it." She takes a shaky breath. "You won't understand."
"Try me. Come on, Mae." He rubs his brow. "Talk to me."
She tears. "You wouldn't understand." She sniffles.
His heart breaks. "Okay... so this is a vet thing? Who do you need, Owen or Teddy?"
"I need Tyler." She sobs. "I need my-my brother."
"Oh Mae..."
"Don't. Don't, please. I'm fine." She sniffles and suppresses a sigh. "Cover for me please? I need-need a day."
"Please let me be here-"
"I love you."
"- Mae? Mae?" He frowns as she hangs up, taking a deep breath. He really has no idea how to help her... but he knows who may be able to. He chews his cheek for a moment before finding the nearest computer, typing in a name. He scrolls down to contact information and... Bingo.
He dials the number and steps into an empty on-call room. He rubs his jaw as he paces.
"Hello?"
"MJ? It's Jackson, hey, I need you." He says quickly.
MJ is stunned for a moment. "Need me? Is it- what's happened?" She demands, her heart dropping. "Do not turn the vent off-"
"No, no, its not- its not that bad yet." He takes a deep breath.
"Yet? Jackson, what the fuck is going on? Is Mae okay?"
"No. She's not okay and I don't know how to help her." He admits sighing. "She needs surgery but she won't take it. And she won't tell me why, and I've tried to help her find a way of talking about it but she won't. She... she asked for Tyler. I can't give her that."
MJ sighs small. "Tyler was her comfort. Her rational self. He'd help her think things through or stand in her corner if that's what she needed. He put her first and he validated whatever she was feeling. If I did the same, it never worked - it had to be from him." She says quietly. She takes a deep breath. "I'll come talk to her. Is that okay?"
"Yes. God please, yes. I get if she doesn't want the surgery, I can support that but... I just- I can't help her. I feel useless."
"You're a man, course you're useless. I'll text you." She says.
"Thanks - for coming not for the insult."
-
Mae lays curled up on her couch just staring at the photo of her and Tyler just last summer. The scratch on his cheek was from some random girl slapping him - it happened way more than he'd ever admit and was always funnier than the last - and they were on a rare day off. It was just after Mae returned to work for the short time they allowed while she was assessed and it was a hot day; they were all allowed off base to go cool off.
They were drunk. Happy and drunk, as always.
'You gotta get a picture with me.' She'd begged.
'Ew no, I agree to one a year, that is it, don't be greedy!'
After a small fight she got her way. He felt bad he hit her so she won. That's how they were. Always.
She sighs as the door knocks. "Whoever it is, go away." She calls.
"I can't, I gotta pee!"
Mae sits up fast raising an eyebrow. She slowly walks to the door and opens it a little, MJ stood doing the pee dance. "What are you-"
"I'm sorry, I gotta go I gotta go!" She bursts past Mae and runs to the bathroom.
"How did you- why are you- oh my god close the damn door." She tuts.
MJ smiles, flushing the toilet as she pulls her jeans up. "Nothin you ain't seen before honey. Now you've certainly got that sweet boy in a tizzy."
Mae blushes. "Huh?"
"He called me all worried. He said you need a surgery?" She says, following Mae to the livingroom.
"Link thinks I need a surgery. I think I don't." She clarifies scowling as she hugs a pillow.
MJ raises an eyebrow. "Is Link that ortho god? I think he'd know a lot more than you honey."
"I'm not getting the surgery." She snaps. "You drove a long way for nothing, sorry."
"It was only a couple hours, we were in Portland. And don't you snap like that young lady." She says sternly. "You're my best friend... even if it hasn't been like that lately I'm always gonna come running. Now stop being a big baby and talk to me. I know I ain't Tyler but I can try." She slouches down, spreads her legs and nods. "See?"
Mae smiles small and sighs, picking at the frayed pillow edge. "I... I can't put myself through it all again. Not walking. Being laid up. Incapable. I can't. I can't allow myself to go into that dark place again."
"Are you in a dark place now?"
Mae frowns deeply. "No! I haven't been this happy in like... ever." She admits.
MJ smiles - she knows, everyone knows. "Right. So it's already not the same." She shrugs. She continues when she sees Mae frowning. "You were in a dark place when you were shot. The affair was in the open, your head was in the wrong place. You wished for death and god took a good ole swing. Now? I think that's the furthest thing from your mind. You have a man who adores the shit out of you, firstly. You got friends. An amazing job, your own home, a life YOU control. This is so far from what you had."
Mae is silent for a minute. "I guess... but he's not here to hold my hand. Tell me to man up and do my exercises. Eat when I don't want to, take my meds on time, drink enough, just go for a walk." Her eyes stare at Tyler in the photo still on the coffee table.
"I know." MJ takes her hand. "But I'm here this time. Benny is, he'll let you borrow a crutch." She jokes. "And you have Jackson."
"I do..." she hums softly.
"You got this, baby girl. You always got this."