~ ~ Malik ~ ~
Ever since we returned from Virgil's, Xander has been much more affectionate than usual. I figured it was a mix of wanting to comfort me, and being in a naturally loving mood. Either way, I didn't mind. The only thing that did annoy me was his constant asking if I was okay.
"Things can't just be fine after that," Xander commented. We cuddled comfortably in bed together, watching a movie on his TV across from us.
I sighed frustratedly for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "Xander, honestly! We weren't that close, it's fine!" I snapped.
"Hey.." he took my hand and gently squeezed it. "I understand I'm making you angry by not believing you, but I know grief when I see it. I'm willing to be patient, as long as it takes. You're not going through this alone," Xander leaned closer and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I promise."
Even my frustration couldn't dull the butterflies he gave me. "Fine, but you're wrong. I'm not grieving," I looked back at the TV hanging on the wall across from the bed. I pretended to focus on the movie, but really, I mulled over what Xander said, over and over in my mind. Yet, each time, I came to the same conclusion. I'm fine.
We spent a lot of time together for the rest of the week. Nothing more happened with V, which we were really grateful for. After losing Damien on that Tuesday, we were really on edge, as well as everyone who occupied the mansion. We often heard whispers, people wondering if they were next, speculations of who V really was. Some people even quit their jobs, which we didn't blame them for.
On Wednesday, Xander introduced me to his butler. He said he was on leave after meeting his soulmate, but just got back to work. He kindly introduced himself as Sebastian. I learned that he was also a vampire, and surprisingly, he was younger than Xander by a couple years.
On Friday, Xander and I decided to have a beach trip. The weather had been perfect, and I couldn't wait to get back into the water after the recent events. As we arrived at the edge of the woods, I stopped abruptly in the sand as I noticed the mermaid sitting on shore, the waves washing around her tail before receding into the ocean. As I looked closer, I noticed that familiar sea green tail, dark skin, and long black hair. "Mother?" I mumbled to myself. What is she doing here?
She looked up at me as I approached and gave me her warmest smile. "Malik!" She exclaimed, as if seeing me here was a surprise.
"Mother," I sat down in the sand next to her, letting the waves crash against my feet. My vampire sat on the other side of me, holding my hand in his, like we had been the whole walk here. He gave me a supportive squeeze as he must have felt my unease. "What are you doing here?" I asked her.
"I came to see you, son!" She grinned, as if our relationship wasn't tainted by what she did to me. "I wanted to let you know that I understand what happened now. I couldn't accept that you'd really be a murderer, so I ended up going to the police," she explained. "They showed me the files and I found out that you were telling the truth. I came to apologize for not listening to you properly."
I took a moment to think over her words before I responded. "Okay. So you know the real story, so what? It doesn't change the fact that you didn't believe me when I tried to explain the first time, and then shunned me out of my own home." I knew I was being cynical, but I didn't care. What she did to me still hurts.
As I spoke about it, I felt Xander's swell of pride deep in my chest.
"Malik, I'm trying to make things right," she retorted.
"Yeah? I'm trying to explain to you that if you had listened the first time, you could have avoided all of that trouble. You managed to waste everyone's time, and hurt me in the process," I stood up after that, brushing the sand off of myself. Xander stood up with me and gave my hand another supportive squeeze. "I don't know what you're trying to gain from this, and frankly, I don't care," I snapped.
"I'm trying to get you to come home!" She yelled, looking up at me with frantic, angry eyes.
"Yeah, I know," I rolled my eyes. "It was a nice try with Dad's necklace, but this is a whole new low, even for you."
She brushed off my insult, replying with, "you could be in the ocean with your family, where you belong! Instead, you're gallivanting around on the surface with some useless nobody!" She gestured to Xander with a look of disgust on her face.
I felt Xander's anger, but before he had the chance to unleash it, I snapped first.
"You can come here and drag me all you want, you can make up whatever shit about me if it pleases you, but I will NOT stand here and listen to you insult my soulmate. I won't be going back to the ocean, Mother. But keep that disrespectful mouth running, you're doing great," I spat.
Her face contorted into a scowl as she crossed her arms, like a child not getting their way. "You're being ungrateful! I went through all of that trouble to find out the truth so I could make things up to you, but you're not even appreciating my efforts."
"Thank you so much for your efforts," I replied in a flat, monotone voice. "I really appreciate how much effort it took you to come here, wait for me to arrive on the beach, and then drag my soulmate through the mud as if he wasn't even standing here," my voice dripped with sarcasm and anger, I felt like an asshole, but I couldn't stop. "Now use some more of that effort to fuck off," I hissed.
Then I squeezed Xander's hand slightly as a signal that I needed to leave, and then he led me away. With a final glare back at my mother, Xander said, "I hope you're happy with yourself."
Our walk back to the mansion was tense with my underlying anger. I was practically stomping through the forest, and I didn't care about my outward display of anger, I was done.
We didn't speak the whole time, not even when we got back to the mansion. Our movements were in sync as we had the same destination in mind; the basement.
Our goal in going to the beach was to give me time to swim again. I missed the water, and Xander knew that being in my element would help. Now that the space has been compromised, we settled on the fish tank in the basement.
As I angrily threw my shirt off, Xander stood in front of me, grabbing my now bare shoulders as I tossed the fabric away. It landed pitifully by my feet.
"Take it easy," Xander pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me. I stared into his eyes for a moment, my anger melting, replaced by something else.
I ruined my relationship with my mother.
I mean don't get me wrong, that woman is insufferable. But that doesn't mean I don't love her. She's all I have left of Dad, and despite what she told me, I was having a really hard time believing that he could still be alive, especially after what she told me today. She never even showed me the ring, and as far as I knew, the whole thing could've been some elaborate plot to get me back into her arms. He's gone, and I just lost my other parent.
As all these thoughts ran through my mind, all that replaced my anger was sadness, guilt, and-
Grief.
I was grieving.
Xander had been right. As he held me in his arms, I buried my face into his shirt, and I sobbed.
I cried for my mother, I knew things would never be the same between us.
I cried for my father. I need him here now more than ever, and I knew I would never see him again.
I cried the most for Damien. As much as I want to deny it, he's gone, and I miss him. I miss how we used to hang out. I miss seeing him argue with Xander, even if it was annoying. I miss how much energy he brought into a room, and how he lit everyone up with his charming personality. It should've been him I fell for, not Dexter.
If things were different, maybe they'd both still be alive, but I got them killed.
How long would it be until I got Xander killed, too? He was roped into all of this way more than anyone else, and V is after him. What happens when I can't save him, either? I cried for my future at that moment, the uncertainty of not knowing if Xander would ever hug me again after today, or tomorrow, or even next week.
I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. Xander and I had sunk to the floor during those ten or so minutes, though I didn't even notice. When I finally pulled my head away from Xander's chest, my face was uncomfortably wet and my eyes were tired. I silently wiped my tears and avoided the vampire's gaze, not wanting to see those beautiful copper eyes tainted with pity.
"It's not your fault, y'know," he said. "I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear, but his death wasn't your fault." I didn't know if he meant Dexter, Damien, or my dad. I didn't believe him anyway.
I silently shook my head, closing my eyes and leaning back against him. He scooped me up after that and carried me away, knowing I needed rest after all that.
Xander took me all the way up to our bedroom, laid me in bed, and tucked me into the sheets. "Get some rest, it's okay. I'll wake you in time for dinner."
"Fine," I mumbled. "Will you stay here?"
Xander gave me a warm smile at that, one that I was glad wasn't laced with pity. "Of course. I'll never leave your side for as long as you want me here, you can count on that."
I nodded my head and closed my eyes. As I laid there, I felt the bed shift beside me as Xander climbed in to keep watch. I drifted in and out of sleep for some time before settling into restless dreams.
Xander woke me up again as dinner arrived at our room, like he said he would. Sebastian brought it for us. Apparently, he does a lot for Xander. He mends his clothes, runs baths for him, brings him food and drinks, serves his guests, supervises the rest of the staff, and more. Sebastian had been in the family for a long time, and he was now a close family friend.
"Thank you, Seb," Xander nodded to him. "Now, I need you to investigate the murder that happened earlier this week. It appears there may be a mole living among my staff, and I need you to find out who." That made me shiver uncomfortably.
The thought that V could even be in this house right now, and had been the whole time, made my heart jump into my throat.
"Yes, Master Delaney," Sebastian nodded his head in understanding. Delaney must have been Xander's last name. It suited him, and for whatever reason, hearing it released butterflies into my stomach.
"When you have some suspects together, take them to individual rooms to wait for my interrogation. Don't tell anyone what you're up to." Sebastian nodded once more. "Thank you, Seb. That is all." The butler bowed his head in respect and then left.
"I like him," I said. I got up from the bed and examined the cart of food Sebastian had brought us. "He's really nice, and he respects you a lot. He's cute."
Xander raised an eyebrow at me. "Oh, that's how it is."
"Look, you can't expect me to meet someone named Sebastian, and not think he's cute."
Xander hesitated for a moment like he was gonna argue, but shrugged instead. "Eh, you've got a point," he chuckled softly and then wheeled the cart to the balcony doors. "Come on, there's a nice table and chairs out here where we can eat."
"Sounds good," I followed him and we set out the plates of food on the table, then sat down to eat.
"Hey," I looked up at Xander as a thought struck me. "Do you think she's out there watching us now?"
Xander paused what he was doing for a moment, and then gave me a toothy grin, which pleasantly surprised me. "Let's find out," he walked over to the edge of the balcony and held up both middle fingers, effectively making me burst out laughing. As he sat down across from me at the table, we were both still giggling to each other.
I was glad he didn't take what I said about Sebastian seriously. It would've been easy for him to get angry and jealous, but I knew he wasn't that kind of person. I admire that about him, he may have had a hard time with his emotions, but he was by no means an angry person. He didn't take simple jokes like those seriously, and I liked that I could casually call another man cute without it turning into an argument.
I loved everything about Xander. He always knew what I needed from him and I didn't always have to communicate. But when I did need to communicate, he took it seriously, and he adapted.
All of this led to me to wonder how long it would be until he was ripped away from me.