Chapa was in the back of the car with her little sister Sage who was sitting in her old car seat, Chapa was so happy she outgrew that thing, car seats were always so uncomfortable to her.
As they sat in the car driving who knows where with her mom in the driver's seat and her dad in the passenger suddenly Her and her sister's favorite song began to play, It was the song let it go from the Movie frozen that had come out a few years ago.
"Sissy Sissy it's our song " Sage pointed out excitedly "Mommy turn it up please" to Chapa's request her mom turned up the song and the two kids began to sing it loudly.
"LET IT GOOOO LET IT GOO CANT HOLD IT BACK ANYMOREEEEEE!"
Soon their parents join in and they were all singing along to the song on the radio. But suddenly the smell of booze hit Chapa's nose, it smelled so bad she had to try to block the smell, and soon the sound of music turned into yelling from the front seat.
"YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS"
"I AM DOING THE BEST TO PROVIDE FOR THIS FAMILY WHILE YOU SIT ON YOUR ASS ALL DAY WOMEN"
"I GO TO WORK! I HAVE A JOB I HAVE TO LEAVE THE KIDS WITH AUNT CAROL ALL DAY "
"OH I'M SURE IF YOU HAD CHAPA WATCH HER SISTER FOR A FEW HOURS SHE'LL BE FINE"
"SHE IS ONLY EIGHT YEARS OLD YOU CANT LET A CHILD WATCH A FOUR-YEAR-OLD! WE ARE THE PARENTS NOT HER!"
Chapa could hear Sage crying and tried to comfort her "hey, hey is okay Sage here hold on" She quickly grabbed her phone and headphones, looked for the movie frozen, and started playing it for her little Sister hoping it would drown out the noise.
her yelling and fighting soon turned violent when her dad started hitting her moms arm, wanting to avoid a crash she quickly jumped into acting. As fast as she could she unbuckled her seat belt and tried to block her dad's slaps "STOP STOP!" she yelled in terror. She was suddenly grabbed by her dad harshly
"DONT GET IN THE WAY OF ME AND YOUR MOTHER DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!" she could smell the alcohol from his breath, little Chapa did her best to repress a gage. She got a good look at her dad's eyes they almost looked yellow and he had dark bags under his eyes. She watched as he lifted his hand "DADDY NO" she yelled followed by a "MOMMY WATCH OUT!" coming from the back seat she looked outside to see that the car was running straight for a pole before she could see anything else everything went black.
___
Chapa's eyes shot open she woke up feeling a cold sweat all over her body, she quickly processed what happened and she suddenly felt overwhelming anxiety almost like paranoia, the quiet was making it worse. She grabbed her phone and headphones and started playing music to calm herself down.
After about 30 minutes she was able to calm down and her adrenaline stopped running she could feel the burning coming from her arm, but did her best to ignore it. She checked the time it read 4:00, she groaned into her pillow. Her mom had come home around 11 and Chapa had already made dinner and put Sage to bed. She welcomed her mom home and then went to bed where she lay awake for 2 hours before going to sleep.
Chapa knew she would be awake for the next 2 hours so she decided to kill time by deciding what she would wear for the next few weeks and make sure it was good enough to hide what she had done and what she was going to do.
As she did that she thought back to the conversation she had with her friends. I can't believe I told them all of that, I would have had to tell them eventually but I was hoping to keep it a secret for a bit longer.
She then thought back to what Bose had done. Does he know? How the hell does he know? Did he tell anybody? too many people are starting to figure out things and I don't like it. I Don't want anybody else to know, it hurt too much when dad found out and I don't wanna go through that again, especially with Bose, he is so sweet and innocent to know about shit like this.
I need to put on an act, I need everything to seem ok. I can do that, I've done it before.
____TIME SKIPO___
A/N I'm sorry if this seems a little rushed.
Chapa looked out the window and saw the sun peaking out of the horizon, it was now 5:30 she did not wanna go to SWAG today, mostly because she would be interrogated by Schwaz and maybe Ray, depending on if Schwaz said anything.
"I have to go or else they are gonna keep questioning me," She thought out loud.
She quickly got dressed and put on her baggy multicolored sweater and a pair of black jeans. She looked into the mirror as she applied some light mascara.
When she was done she took a good look at herself, dark circles under her eyes started to become visible, her lips looked chapped, and the red in her hair was starting to fade away.
I should re-dye the soon
There was a knock on her door "what!?" She called out the door then opened revealing her mom "hey you're going to school again?" She asked
"Yeah mom it's a school day"
"Ok do you need a ride?"
"No" she replied quickly that's how I got dad hurt, I can lose my mom too because of me. "My friend will be here soon."
"Ok do you want me to make you some breakfast?"
Chapa shook her head "I'm good I think my teacher is doing his Tuesday pancake day."
"Ok well I have to go to work I'll be home by 10ish. " By the way, aunt Carol is going to be over around 2" her mom explained.
Chapa gave her a confused look "what why?" Why aunt Carol I don't like her, she's always so rude and nosy!
"Just to help around with you and Sage"
"But mom I can do that I did well yesterday" Chapa protested.
"Honey you don't need to do that every day your the kid and me and aunt Carol are the adults, we take care of you" her mom explained.
'She is only eight years old
"How have you been holding up?" Her mom asked. "What? Oh, I'm doing ok mom" she reassured.
"Ok sweetie" her mom hugged her, usually Chapa wasn't a fan of hugs but she will take this one, her mom needs it. "if you need anything you can talk to me ok?"
The same damn sentence from everyone
"Yeah, I know mom. Have a good day at work." Her mom left her room as she said "bye honey! Have fun at school."
When she finished getting dressed she was about to go downstairs and get some coffee but then she got a text from Bose saying he was there. Dang, it. Maybe I can convince him to stop at bucks coffee.
Before she left she quickly check in with her sister. When she went to her room she saw she was still sleeping, she walked over and kissed her on the forehead.
"Bye Sage" she whispered.
__
When she got outside she saw her friend's car and quickly ran over to the passenger seat and got in.
"Hey," she said "so I was rushed today and didn't have time to make coffee so we should stop at bucks coffee and get something" she innocently smiled.
Bose didn't answer and just started back out of her driveway. "Umm Bose did you hear me" she questioned "what- oh yeah, yeah we can stop at bucks if you want," he said.
"Dude you good?" She asked concerned
"Yeah sorry I'm still tired."
"then we should go to bucks coffee" she requested once more, She checked the time "ugh Rays gonna be mad we are late. It's too early for push-ups" she groaned.
"He won't be mad at us today, we can still stop" Bose assured "are you sure? cause he usually gives us a lecture on how time management is super important even though he is late to everything."
"This time he won't be mad at us."
Thinking back to the conversation they all had yesterday she remembered they were going to tell Ray what was going on. well, that's great.
~~~~~~~~
After they stopped for coffee they were 30 minutes late to the man cave.
As Chapa entered the man cave the smell of pancakes hit her nose "ah I love the smell of pancakes" She stated as her Bose walked in. "hey guys" Ray greeted, "Ur just in time the second batch of my Man Flaps just got done"
"Sweet!" Chapa said as she sat on the giant couch next to Miles and Mika who were finishing their first pancakes. "hey guys" Chapa greeted, She only got a smile in return due to their mouths being filled with pancakes.
"Chapa, Swatz said he wanted to talk to you about something when you're done," Ray said as he handed her a plate of pancakes. Chapa was panicking on the inside luckily she hid it very well.
"what is it about?" She asked
"dunno he said it was important though"
"oh.." she said looking down at her pancakes they were chocolate chip her favorite, Ray knew that but has never made them before.
well, that's nice.
~~~~
Throughout the day Chapa did everything she could to avoid Shwaz. Lucky for her it was working, the day was almost over and she could go home.
For training that day the kids were using a VR headset to practice fighting. it had been about 20 minutes when Ray had told them to take a break.
While they were all laying on the floor Shwatz's voice came over a speaker. "Chapa I need you in the man cave for a moment"
"since when do we have speakers in here," Bose asked. Chapa rolled her eyes, popped a bubble to get out of her suit. and made her way to the Man Cave without saying a word. She was extremely nervous and wanted to get this over with.
When she got up there she saw Shwatz sitting on the couch with a mug that says 'world best boss' on it with a picture of Ray.
"Ray will get mad that you're using his mug"
"ah it's alright, I needed to ask you something important."
he pulled up the screen with 2 pictures showing her vitals, one from a few days ago and one from a few minutes ago. They both had red on her arms, the one from a few minutes ago had bright red up and down on her arm.
oh. shit. "I've been tracking your vitals and it looks like you've been getting hurt a lot."
Calm down, Calm down it's gonna be ok you can get out of this
"We've only been on one mission and the injuries happened before and after that, some of our friends have been concerned as well." it's gonna be ok, it's gonna be ok
"Chapa ima gonna ask you this and I'm trusting you that you will answer truthfully" blame it on my dog, wait I don't have a dog, does he know that? "Is something going on at home?" he asked. Chapa just look at him for a moment, she had been caught completely off guard. Is he being for real
Chapa wanted to laugh at the accusation. play it cool and keep a straight face "what, No, no, not even close"
if you had asked me this a few years ago the answer would have been different
"then what happen?"
"The day we got the new suits I had also smacked my arm on the table, and during our mission Miles had teleported me out of the way and I landed really hard on my other arm. Thats what you are seeing." there was a lump in my throat. I could feel the air getting tight.
"Are you sure" I nod trying to control my breathing
"If anything is going on you know we are all here for you"
"Ok." There was a awkward pause "I should get back to training." I rush to my chair and quickly get back to training. I knew he didn't believe but I don't really care. I just wanna get this day over with.
~~~
After training we had to do a few things around the cave before we got to leave, Mika was cleaning, Bose was going through the schedule for the month, Miles and Ray were talking about something I have no idea. And I was looking through and answering emails.
"Chapa, if you want you can't go home a little early, I'll finish up the emails" Ray offered. It was nice that he was trying to be kind but it was also really weird.
"Thanks but I have to wait for Bose to be done anyway. He's my ride"
"Oh. Alright." Ray clicked a random button "Bose you and Chapa can leave early. The rest of us got this"
Just because I was dealing with something right now doesn't mean I can't do my job. I'm starting to feel like a burden more and more everyday. I get Ray is trying to be nice but it's getting annoying.
"Ray that's really not necessary I can finish up"
Ray shook his head " Chapa it's ok. Go home early."
The tube shut and Bose shot up from it. "Ready to go?" He asked I nod and start walking to the door. Suddenly I feel Ray grab my arm. I bite the inside on my check
"Kid listen, if you ever need to talk. Or if you need time off you can let me know"
"Ray I'm ok really, I don't need that"
Ray looked me dead in the eyes.
"Chapa I know there is something else going on. And when your ready to talk about it. I'm hear for you ok"
I nod my head "ok" i whispered
"chapa you can go out to the car I just need to talk to Shwaz about somthing" Bose stated. This kid has looked nervous all day. I'm getting worried.
I waited for what felt like forever in his car. Finally I saw him walking out.
" what did you need to talk about that took 30 minutes?!" I asked.
"Nothing that important, just a few things about my suit and stuff." He claimed as he started driving.
~~~
We drove in silence for most of the time till I got out all he said was see ya and I waved as I said goodbye.
When I walked into the house I expected to be greeted with silence like yesterday but when I walked in I heard one of the most high pitched, agitating, annoying valley voices ever.
"OH LULU! YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO SHOW UP" it was wobbling to me
The "it" was my Aunt Carol who I had completely forgot what's coming today.
This is gonna be great.
~~~~~
"LULU, YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO SHOW UP " Carol practically ran to me, throwing her arms out to welcome me into a hug. I hate hugs.
"Aunt Carol Hii. It's so good to see you" I smile and begrudgingly returned her hug.
"How have you been sweetie? How's school going?" She starts walking to the kitchen and I follow her. I can smell somthing cooking.
"Schools alright."
"That's good, that's good, I making a nice healthy soup for you and Sage. You girls need to start eating healthier, it's starting to show" she takes her crusty finger and pokes my stomach. Yeah this is just what I needed today. I already wanna smack her. If I hear her say something like that to Sage I will fry her.
"Do you want some lemon-aid Lulu?"
I hate when she calls me that.
"Sure. Can you call me Chapa instead? I don't like Lulu."
She hands me a glass. "Why would you want to be called Chapa. That's a stupid name you sound like your in a gang, I'm gonna call you Lulu it's more lady like"
I dig my nails into my palms "ok well then. I'm just gonna go to my room and take a nap" I take a drink of the lemon aid, it tastes disgusting "what the hell Carol this is so sour. Yknow your suppose to put sugar in it right?"
She looks at me for a moment before stepping towards me. She places her hand on my shoulder and presses down really hard like she's trying to push me down.
"Do not swear at me young lady! What kind of example does that set for your sister. Besides, sugar is bad very bad for you. You should be thanking me" she increases the strength of her grip. "apologize" she tells me " Now!"
I wanna roll my eyes. I want to zap her. I want to punch her. I want to do something, but instead I give in. I know it's not worth it.
"I'm sorry aunt Carol" no I'm not I hope a tiger eats your face.
"Good" she releases her grip " go I'll let you know when suppers ready" who says supper anymore? Calm down girl we're not that fancy
~~*~~
For the next few hours I sat in my room listening to music, reading, and just trying to distract myself from my urges. I got up from my bed and went to my mirror, I did my best to keep my eyes off my body. Instead I looked at my hair, the red was really faded I wanna re-dye it.
Then I got an awesome idea.
I decided to sneak downstairs. Mom and Sage still weren't home so I was able to go down there with no notice.
When I got to the living room I looked for carols purse. I knew stealing was wrong. I know the law I am a superhero.
But I didn't care. It was Carol. It didn't count.
I found her purse and found her wallet. I was looking for a few 20$ but as I was looking I found something even better. I found an 100$! What idiot just has 100$ in their purse. Does she know credit cards exist?
Apparently not. I couldn't find one.
I put the purse back where I found it. And quietly ran upstairs and left the house through my window.
~~*~~
I was going to Walgreens, it was the place I got my dye last time. When I got there I nonchalantly made my way to the hair stuff I found some red dye
Long lasting?
Up to 12 weeks?
Permanent?
Screw it let's do it permanently.
As I was looking I found a nice ice blue one. Me and Mika have talked about what color she would dye her hair. She decided ice blue even though I tired to get her to do green mostly so I could laugh at her,
Maybe I could get her to dye it with me.
Without thinking to much I grabbed the blue one too.
While I was there I got some more bandages and cleaning stuff.
~~~~~~~~
Yesterday after Chapa left and the mission ended
Bose was driving home after the very hectic 'school' day but he put all that past him and was excited to get home.
He was gonna play some video games, make some chicken nuggets and relax. Then him and the gang were going to check on Chapa
While he was going through his plan he had the most jaw-dropping brilliant idea he has ever had!
What if instead of chicken nuggets I get dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets? Wait we don't have anymore at home.
Bose frowned
I'll need my mom to drive me to the store
He continued to keep his eyes on the road, thinking about his new and improved plan, he looked around for a minute seeing other cars drive past him.
Wait a minute... Im driving? Oh yeah!! I can drive! I can just take myself to the store!
Man I'm getting smarter everyday.
Bose made a stop at the store to grab his nuggets then started his drive home. When Bose got home he saw his step-dads 3rd car in the drive way, meaning he was back from his meetings early. "maybe he'll want to split some of these with me" He said out loud.
Instead of going to his house he decided to go to his parents house to see what they were up to. "Mom im home!" He calls out as he comes in.
"We're in the upstairs Living room" his mom yelled back. He but the nuggets in the freezer then went to the second floor were he sew his mom and step-dad chilling on the couch watching TV. there are 4 empty bottles of brightly colored sodas on the round glass end table, and in the mayors hand was a half drank red brightly colored soda.
" I thought you quit drinking brightly colored sodas" He asked his dad
" I quit quitting, quitting is for quitters and I decided I don't wanna be a quitter. Want one kid? I got a blue one for you"
Bose shrugged and excepted the offer.
"What are you guys watching?"
"An old show called Degrassi, Buch of episodes about some messed up high-school kids"
He watched the scene on the TV unfold. A pale girl with orange braided hair, eyeliner, wearing black clothing, lots of jewelry , with long black sleeves appeared on screen. She was arguing with another girl, this one had blonde hair half up half down.
"I dont need help" The orange hair girl said as she walked away from the blonde one
The blonde girl followed her "Then show me your arm"
" There is nothing wrong with me" She claimed
The blonde girl stopped her " Then show me your arm!"
There was silence from the TV as the pale skinned girl rolled up her sleave showing multiple cuts up and down her arm, Some had band-aids and some were just red lines.
Bose was a little shocked at what he saw, he didnt know people could show this on TV "What did she do to herself?" he asked.
The Mayor paused the TV "She cut her self Bose, that girl on the TV name is Elli. She got a hard home life and sadly started to hurt herself to cope"
"Do people do this in real life?"
"Oh yeah lots of people, Boys, Girls, Young, Old"
Bose started thinking
Is that what Chapa was doing?
is that what he saw?
He knew he'd seen something but didnt wanna press about it.
Is that the injury that was detected on her suit? That was on her arm right?
" Bose honey are you alright" His mother asked
"Yea, yeah.." He looed at his stepdad " Do you know anybody who did or does that"
The Mayor was silent for a second looking at his wife who nodded at his
" Yeah I knew a few kids"
" What happen to them?"
" Well one kid I knew in middle school his parents had just gotten a divorce, pretty messy his mom was a deadbeat and his dad wasn't any better. He started to hurt himself to cope. " He took a sip before carrying on, " One day, ands by accident he had went to deep when was cuttin, sliced right through a vein and died. After that the school had an assembly on good ways to cope"
" Another girl, who was a good friend of mine back in my day had started doing it in high-school, one day some kids were harassing her, pulling at her jacket and just being rude. One of the kids managed to actually get the jacket off and everybody saw a bunch of band-aids all round her arms. Word got to the head of the school and once again we had that same dumb assembly. Never understood the point of those anyway we already knew the right whys to cope it just no kid liked those ways"
"What made them do it then? if they had other options"
"Thing is Bose, that for some kids the good one don't feel of help as well as they think the bad ones do."
" What happen to the girl?"
" She was gettin the help she needed, then she moved and I hadn't heard from her since"
Bose was still having a hard time comprehending this. He had no idea if he was right but he needed to find out. He didnt want Chapa to die, She was his befriend he couldn't loose her.
"Bosey, whats wrong?" His mother asked again. " Nothing...Im gonna go to my room" He was getting up to go to his room but his mom stopped him.
"Bose what's going on?"
"Nothing I just have a lot of homework.. and I'm going to meet up with some friends in a hour"
with that he ran out to his house trying to process what he had discovered.
~~~~~ This goes into more detail about Self-harm so if you have issues with that 1. Please get help 2. If it will trigger you please skip past it and 3. Some things about it may not be fully accurate I'm just going off want know and my own experience.
Tw- mention of anxiety and panic attacks, and explaining why people SH
It was around 2 am and Bose was wide awake with his laptop out doing research. After visiting Chapa that afternoon he knew something was up.
'why do people hurt themselves' is what he typed into the search bar.
He found multiple articles about said topic until he found one with a good title
'The ways and whys people Self harm and how it effects them physically, mentally, and emotionally'
He clicked the link and began to skim through the article
People can hurt themselves multiple whys burning, cutting, pulling their hair, picking at lips and skin, hitting themselves ect..
Some do this because they believe they deserve to be punished for something
"Is that what Chapa thinks"
Bose could feel his heart breaking as he read on, connecting more and more to his friend.
Some people do it as a way to cope with a different situation that is or has happened, such as a death, if they are being bullied, or if they struggle with depression or anxiety.
Some people are addicted to hurting themselves, they did it once and enjoyed the release or the rush they felt before, during, or after.
Some people self harm because they want to die, therefore self harm is a alternative to killing themselves.
Bose skimmed down a bit more
If you believe a friend or family member maybe dealing with Self harm these are some signs.
- May always be wearing long sleeves even on hot days
- Flinching when being touch on the arms or legs
- they get nervous often especially with a lot of people
- emotional outbursts
- if they have recently went through a traumatic experience or something that reminded them of a traumatic experience they once had
—
Bose started to feel a tightness in his chest
His friend was hurting. A lot.
When did this start? How far had she gone? What else is she doing? Does she wanna die? Has she talked to someone about this?
Should I talk to her?
What would I say?
Hey I freaked out and decided to do some late night research and realized I've been a bad friend cuz I didn't realize how bad you have been hurting?
Great idea Bose.. your a genius.
Bose was pacing around trying to get his breathing under control.
In for 6, hold for 7 out for 8
He was telling himself
In for 6, hold for 7 out for 8
It wasn't working. He started searching his room for his old anxiety pills.
He use to get panic attacks a lot after his dad left. Those to thing are probably connected but he wasn't sure.
Anyway after a doctors appointment, few therapy sessions, and being on Bupropions for a while he stop having the panic attack and stop needing the medication.
But his mom made his keep getting the medicine ' just incase' which came in handy tonight.
After a bit Bose came up with a plan.
He would first try to talk to Chapa about it then if it didn't work he'd talk to an adult, maybe someone who won't freak out.
After developing a plan he was able to get some sleep.
—
Throughout the next day Bose felt nervous, he didn't know what to do or say, he decided when he gets the chance he'll talk to Schwoz or Ray.
When the end of the day came around he told Chapa she can wait in the car and he'll be out in minutes then he set off to look for Schwaz.
—
" hey baby bosie what can I do for you"
Bose could feel the nervousness growing scared about how to approach this he just took a breath and started talking
" Schwaz I have a question but it's kind of..um dark I guess"
" oh i can help you hide the body but I don't know if I can lie to the police"
"What no, no, not this time. This is different.."
"Oh I see, let me get you a glass of chocolate milk. Do you want spicy and regular"
Boses eyes lit up
" oh spicy please"
"We are all out of spicy"
" then..I'll just do regular"
Schwoz passed the glass to the kid and sat down next to him
" what can Dr Schwoz help you with today"
Bose was fidgeting with his fingers
Breath in, breath out
" well I have this friend and I think- well actually I know- well actually I think I know. Anyway, they are doing something bad really bad, and I don't know what to do"
" Do I happen to know this friend" He asked
Bose didnt like lying but he didnt wanna say anything to specific because he still was not 100% sure. He looked away and mumbled no
Schwaz knew he was lying but allowed him to continued. " What is this friend doing"
Bose started to pace, he could feel the lump in his throat " They're umm- " His chest was tightening, he couldn't breath, he felt weird, the room felt odd, and he couldn't calm himself down.
" Hey Bosie its ok just breath. follow my voice" He had his eyes closed, holding his chest but he could still hear Schwaz talking.
"in"
He breathed in
" Now out "
He let it out
Bose wasnt sure when he ended up on the floor be he decided to stay there. After calming himself down and another Chocolate Bose was ready to continue the conversation
"Bose whatever your friend is doing is really scaring you huh"
The kid nodded
" Do you have these attacks lots"
" I use to, then I get medication for it. Im not sure what happened, could've been a flunk"
" So this is first time you have had one is a long time"
Bose nodded
" Ok, ok, good, good"
" My Friend is hurting themself"
Schwaz face looked panicked
" Atleast I think they are. I saw something the other day, on their arm" Bose felt his eyes watering and decided to let them fall, " I think shes cutting herself" Tears where now streaming down his face, he couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Chapa is cutting herself"
Schwaz engulfed Bose into a hug let him cry while hollding back his own tears. " I'm scared and I don't know what to do, I don't know why she's doing it Schwaz, I don't want her to die!"
Schwaz brought Boses face up to meet his. " She is not going to die Bose. This is what we are going to do. Ray is gone for the rest of the day but tomorrows we are going to tell him and he will talk to Chapa ok."
" No, No, No, She doesn't even know I know and if she finds out that I found out and told you guys she might get more made and do something so much worse"
" I will make sure Ray dosen't tell her how he found out ok"
Bose wipped away his tears and nodded
" Its gonna be alright Bose, we will help her ok"
" Ok..."
AN// So I added a bit more to part 3 and part 2 is in the making. Also if you did not see before, Part 2,3,4 of Day 4 is all on one part now