Jeremiah
It was so early when mom passed. It happened so fast, everything that whole day happened so fast. It was only Dad, Em, and me in the hospital.
Emilia just sat there holding moms hand with a plain face, not reacting to anything. Mom leaned over and whispered something in her ear that made both of them laugh...then a silent tear fell down Emilia's face. A few moments later, mom died. Emilia bent down, kissed moms head, let go of her hand and walk over to me.
I've never seen my dad cry before, he never let Conrad and I cry, and he never cried. But he cried like a little baby who was left in the middle of a store.
I felt a scream escape my throat. My ears got hot and I couldn't see with how fast the tears were streaming out of my eyes. I felt a comforting hand on my cheek, for a split second I wanted to think it was mom.
"Sit down, baby bear," Emilia whispered, without a single sign of breaking in her voice.
I listened and sat in the chair we had our coats on. Em knelt on the floor in front of me so we were at eye level, "We can do this," she said in a voice so sure I somehow believed her.
I still cried, I couldn't stop. She never started. Other than the single tear, she didn't cry.
We went home, and people were coming in and out of the house all day. When they finally left, it was just Conrad, Emilia, and I in the house.
Em was in the kitchen, cleaning up and making a list of groceries. She's acted like a robot since we've been home, I don't even think Con has noticed.
"Will there be people here again tomorrow?" I asked, shoving a piece of dry coffee cake into my mouth.
"Probably," Conrad mumbled, that's all he said.
I thought for a moment, "Who? Like who will be there?"
Conrad didn't look up from his glass, "No clue."
"Oh."
Emilia walked into the room, it was like she could feel the stress in my body. She placed her hand on my shoulder, "We know that Laurel will be here tomorrow. Some of moms closer friends might come by. Some of our friends might come by," she ruffled my hair. "I'm not sure when Belly and Steven are coming."
"Cam?" I asked. He really is such a good person, he really is part of the family. I started to tear up again.
Em wiped my tears with her thumb, "Um...he doesn't know yet."
"You have to tell him," Conrad told her, walking up the stairs.
She kissed my head, rolled her eyes, and picked up the glass Con had left on the table.
"I'm going to bed," I told her.
She wiped some hair out of her face, "Okay, it's only six. So if you need something I'll be here or in my room."
Still not one single emotion from her.
"Talk to Cam Cameron," I told her.
I walked upstairs, and I thought about going into Conrad's room. I heard him crying so I left him alone. I went to my room and I cried too.
I heard Emilia go into her room. Her phone was buzzing with Cameron's ringtone so at least she was talking to him.
Maybe he could make her feel.
I realized that unless Em told them, none of our friends know.
Jeremiah: Hey...mom died.
Bestie Brie: I'm sorry. I don't know what to say...Conrad told me and some other friends in a group chat earlier. I'll be over tomorrow.
Jeremiah: who did he tell?
Bestie Brie: Me, Katie, and Maddy. He texted me separately with more information though.
Jeremiah: good. I'm glad you know.
Bestie Brie: do you need anything?
Jeremiah: my mom.
I felt tears fall from my eyes again. Jesus, how does Emilia hide it? Or does she just not feel it at all?
"God!" I yelled, kicking my nightstand over. "Damn it!"
I heard three knocks on my door before Emilia walked in, "Jere?" She asked.
Her voice was so calm, she sounds so much like mom. Steven got us to start calling her mom jr when we were little but it's true.
She sat down on the floor and picked up the mess I had made without saying a word. She sat on my bed and rubbed my back softly.
"Hey, why are we destroying your room?" She asked.
"I don't know, Emilia," I snapped a little too loud. "I don't fucking know."
She covered me up with the blanket mom made for me, "You know you can ask for help," she told me.
I rolled my eyes, "you're such a hypocrite."
"I am," she told me. "You're right. But it's my job."
I rolled my eyes again, "What does that even mean?"
She put her hand on my knee, "I'll deal with myself once you are okay. You're who I care about right now. You, Connie, and when they get here Steven and Belly. You guys are who I care about."
"That's so dumb," I told her.
She shrugged, "Yeah, well that's me. Do you need anything at all from me?"
"I need my mom!"
Her face fell and for the first time, I saw some type of emotion on her face. She quickly changed it to what I'm sure she hoped would be a comforting smile, "Me too," she whispered. "I do too, baby bear. But we've got this. Together."
Sobs ripped through my chest, how the hell is this happening? She's just gone. One second she was here and the next I don't have a mom. How the hell?
She pulled me into her chest and rubbed my back. She didn't speak, and I didn't see her face. But I knew based on how close she was holding me, how steady her breathing was, and how still she was against my shaking body that she wasn't crying. That it was just me crying like the little baby dad always said I am.