Chapter Nineteen…
His last comment struck me as slightly strange and his voice had sounded rather menacing as he seemed to vow that she wouldn’t escape this predicament. I didn’t have time to ponder it though, because Mel had spoken, breaking me out of my trance like state of surprise.
“What, was that about?” She inquired, sounding almost exasperated as she looked at me expectantly. “You know, I don’t think there’s a moment in your life without some form of drama anymore.”
I sighed. “Lets just go inside. I think I have a lot of explaining to do.”
“Damn Right.” She muttered, following me inside.
“What did you work out from that conversation then?” I asked, guessing that she could have gathered the story from that short exchange and so I wouldn’t really have too much explaining to do. And to be honest, giving her a rundown on the latest events wasn’t top on my list of priorities.
“Well, I can guess that man is your father.” She paused, seeing if she was correct. I nodded glumly. “And he wants shared custody of you.” I gave her the affirmative gesture once again. “He’s blackmailing you.” She stated. “Because your mother’s on drugs.”
She had listed the last detail particularly hesitantly as she awaited my reaction. I didn’t know whether she thought I was going to react really badly because I’d never told her that before and it was clearly a big problem in my life.
Instead, I just winced slightly. There was no point in getting worked up over that. It was something I’d come to terms with a long time ago. “That’s right. Looks like I don’t need to do any explaining after all then.” I said, my tone lighter than I was feeling.
Mel looked at me incredulously. “How long has your mother been an addict?” She inquired, unsatisfied with the knowledge I’d presented her with.
“About two years.”
She gaped, her eyes widening significantly. “Two years! And you didn’t think to tell me?!” She cried.
I shrugged guiltily. “I didn’t tell anyone.” I offered by way of justification. “Besides, you’ve just witnessed what could happen if that got out. I’d be taken away from her and I couldn’t let that happen. That’s why I never told anyone.”
“So who actually knows?” She inquired.
“You, Arthur, Matt, Jord and their mother.” I told her, realising that that would rile her even more, knowing she was the last to find out of five people.
“You told all of them before me?”
“To be fair, I didn’t want to tell any of them.” I reasoned. Despite not wanting to tell anyone, I was grateful of the support Jord had given me whilst I was dealing it. He just always knew what to say to make things marginally better.
Mel shook her head ruefully. “I guess you never really had any intention of telling me after I’d been such a bitch.”
I chuckled softly. “No, not really.”
“How on Earth did Matt and Mr. Armstrong’s mum find out? I didn’t even know you knew their mum.”
I grimaced. “I didn’t until the other day. And I still wish that I didn’t.”
“You still talk to Mr. Armstrong a lot then?”
I shook my head miserably. “No, we’re not really friends anymore. It was Matt I’d been talking too.”
“That’s weird, you seemed so close before.” She commented, then sighed. “So what are you going to do about this situation. You need to tell your mum.” I knew she hadn’t really meant much by the Jord comment, but it had still touched a nerve, like I guessed it would for a long time.
“I know that, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to say. And I don’t know what she’ll say. She’s hardly been a fantastic mother over the last couple of years.” I pointed out.
“She’ll do what she thinks is right, you know she will.” Mel stated confidently. I didn’t know how she could be so convinced when she’d recently found out that her own mother had been lying to her as well. Surely that was enough to knock her assurance when it came to our parents. She was probably just trying to make me feel better.
“I don’t know…” I trailed off. My mother had never been good at making the right decision. Her drug addiction proved that.
Before I could ponder it any more, the front door opened. The fact that there was no knock proved it was my mum herself back.
There was only one step of footsteps, so Harry wasn’t with her. She entered the room and instantly felt the tension because a frown appeared on her face. Her mood didn’t look very drug induced and so she must be somewhat sober. “What’s wrong?” She inquired immediately.
“Arthur paid me a visit a few minutes ago.” I informed her.
Her eyes narrowed, but I knew her anger wasn’t directed at me, it was aimed at him. “What did he want?”
“He wants shared custody of me.” I enlightened her.
“No.” She responded, in the same fashion I had. “I won’t let him have you, I can’t.”
“I’m not sure you have a choice.” I stated disdainfully. “You know he’s blackmailing you and he’s not afraid to follow it through.” I reminded her. “If you don’t let him have shared custody, he’s going to campaign in court for complete custody by saying your on drugs. You know that he can prove it‘s the truth.”
She swore and collapsed down on the sofa next to me. “I can’t believe it.”
I glanced at Mel sideways so that she could understand the hints I was trying to send her. Her eyebrows furrowed before recognition clouded her features. “I’m going to go and ring my mum, see what she has to say about the situation now that she’s had some time to think about it.” She informed me, siding out of the room slowly so that I could be left to talk to my mum in peace. I wondered if she really was going to speak to her mum, I hoped she would, she needed to sort the issue with her parents out.
“What’s Mel doing here anyway?” She inquired, avoiding the subject at hand for the moment. I almost didn’t answer her and reminded her that that wasn’t what we should be discussing, I refrained from that, however, since it was her house and she did have the right to know why Mel was staying here.
“She found her mum cheating on her dad the other day and now she’s kicked her out. I said she could stay here until she figured it out.” I gave her a shortened version of what had happened.
“I thought you and Mel didn’t get along so well nowadays.” She pointed out.
I shrugged. “We don’t, but I couldn’t let her sleep rough somewhere and I knew she didn’t want to go to Leonie’s.” I explained. To be honest, Mel and I had had no disagreements whilst she’d been here and she’d been more like her old self than ever. It was almost refreshing having some company around the house, whereas I was normally lonely all the time.
My mum nodded in understanding, before realising that she needed to approach the subject at hand. “I don’t know what to do honey.” She sighed. “I don’t want to give you to Arthur no matter what the consequences.”
“But there are going to be consequences either way, so what are you going to do.”
“I can’t let him have you Jessica. You and Harry are the only good things in my life and I can’t lose either of you. Especially not you.” She admitted.
The temptation was to make a snide remark about how Harry and his drugs had made her life what it is now, but I refrained. She was trying to be sincere and I shouldn’t ruin it. “Well then the only way out is to give up your drugs then.” I told her honestly.
That was the only answer I could conjure up and it would benefit more than just this situation. If my mum could give up the vile substances she was hooked on, then I might get her back. The real mum that I remembered tucking me in at night, asking me how my day at school was, showing that she actually cared about me. Right now, all I had was the woman that was constantly absent and when she was around me, was too drugged up to realise what she was doing or saying.
My mother looked at me incredulously. “I thought we were thinking of realistic possibilities. I can’t give up drugs. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I don’t think I can.”
Her statement shocked me to a certain extent. It was the first time she had even openly admitted to being a drug addict around me. I’d witnessed her saying it plenty of times to Harry, but never to me. She’d always tried to keep me away from that knowledge, but there was no hiding any longer. She had to realise that I was fully aware of what she was doing most of the time and that it was currently our main problem.
I shook my head and buried it in my hands. “You need to believe that you can to do it mum, and I know you can. The fact that you want to is already a start.” I encouraged her.
“No. I can’t do that. I was thinking we could run. We could move house and start a new life somewhere else, where he can’t find us.” She told me, nodding her head, in almost a crazed fashion.
I looked at her confused. “Why, is that what you did the first time?” She’d said it with such certainty that she almost sounded experienced. I could also guess that this had been her plan since the beginning; that as soon as Arthur had arrived it had been where her trail of thought was leading. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d already arranged it all.
It only struck me now that I’d never really got the full story from my mother about why she had lied to me for all these years, and whilst we were on that track, I might as well get some kind of explanation.
She shook her head. “No, it was your father who did that the first time. He left us and found a new identity for himself, as well as leaving us to fend for ourselves. He was a monster, and that’s why I never told you about him. I never thought he’d come back and so there was no need for you to know he was still alive. I didn’t want you trying to contact him, because I didn’t want you to get hurt when you found out what he was like.”
“So you let me get hurt when I found out he was alive instead.” I retaliated sarcastically. “If you’d just told the truth then none of this would have happened. I’d at least have been prepared for what he was like.”
It might have been hypocritical for me to be lecturing her on lying, when I had told more lies within the last few months that I could recall, but this was so much more extreme than mine had been. The rape one was been to protect Jord, I was just returning the favour. And lying about mine and Jord’s relationship was self explanatory. By the end of it, we’d spun a web of lies that weren’t worth rectifying. It would just create more trouble. For the moment, it was better to just stick to the stories we’d created, and eventually, they’d be forgotten.
“I didn’t think this day would ever come Jessica.” She gave by way of explanation, clearly unwilling to elaborate any further.
“Well either way, I’m not moving, my life here is perfectly fine and I don’t want to leave.”
Lies. Again. My life here was a mess. For starters, my relationship with Jord was in taters. In fact, it didn’t even exist anymore. We’d been perfectly good friends, content in each others company and reliant on each other. Then, it had gone further. We’d developed feelings for each other, feelings that we hadn’t been able to hide as easily as I’d presumed. Then we’d returned to being friends, if not slightly awkward friends, before it happened again and our feelings couldn’t be concealed. And now it was finished. There was no relationship between Jord and I. We were to act as if we’d never met each other before, practically. That was the one thing that was killing me.
I was stuck in a dead end job. Working as a receptionist at some salon in the rough area in Sheffield town. That was going nowhere for me. I hated working there and it was insanely boring. Although, I wasn’t likely to be getting any kind of enjoyable job, even if we were to move. So this was hardly a curable problem.
Jord and Matt’s mum hated me, but that wasn’t something I could change by moving either, it was just something that I could avoid.
Then there were the positives of living here.
Even though there was nothing between Jord and I anymore, it didn’t mean I didn’t get any satisfaction from simply seeing him. In class I would subtly observe him - it didn’t eradicate the pain of knowing we couldn’t see each other anymore, but it was better than nothing.
Then there was Mel who was currently stood outside, relying on me to help her through the crisis she was facing with her own parents. She had come to me first and if I moved, I’d feel like I’d abandoned her.
And Grace, I was the only real friend that she had at school, just like she was mine. If I moved, not only would she be left friendless, but so would I. I wouldn’t know anyone in my ‘new life’, I’d just be the new nerd. It would be just like it always had been, me being ridiculed by the ‘popular’ crew. I didn’t want that again. So even though it was happening here to a certain extent, at least it was bearable and I had people who did like me.
Plus my schooling would be knocked as well. It was hard to move schools and catch up with the curriculum; Grace had informed me about that. She was constantly complaining that she’d already covered the topic, or she hadn’t done the build up work to it. It was putting a strain on her education that I didn’t want if I moved schools.
I didn’t want to leave Matt behind either. Even though we bantered constantly and he teased me relentlessly, he was a good friend of mine and I trusted him indefinitely. He wasn’t someone I wanted to lose in my life.
So it all came down to Jord in the end. Would I move and grant him the opportunity to move on, to really lose his feelings for me because, I wouldn’t be there for him to see, just like I could do the same? Or would I once again do the selfish thing and stay here so that I could continue my relatively acceptable life and continue to put Jord’s job and career at risk?
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I was going to update this yesterday, but with Wattpad down I didn't have time. Anyway, I hope it's still okay. I had a story idea yesterday and I'm really looking forward to trying it out, I just don't know if I should start another story with two already.
Either way, A Year Full Of Surprises has 50,000 views. WOW. I was gob smacked when I saw that, I can't thank everyone enough :')
I have finally created a cast list, it should be on the side there. I obviously wanted Chace Crawford as Jord ;D but that's who everyone has as their main man, so I tried to come up with someone different. I couldn't resist Alex Pettyfer as Matt though, man he's fine ;) I've got Zooey Deschanal as Lydia, but a younger version, because she's only supposed to be about 20. I didn't know who to have for Jess, but I settled on Lucy Hale. I was originally going to have Rebecca Breeds, but her hair wasn't dark enough :(
I hope the cast isn't too ridiculous though and that it doesn't ruin what you thought the characters looked like, because no doubt I'll have done a dreadful job!