*Lou on call, asking advice from her mum Helen*
Lou: Do you think if I take a run at Debbie... She will be mine?
Mum: You don't 'take a run' at a woman. You woo her, you make her feel special. You make her feel heaven-
Lou's dad: *to Helen* Hon, take a look at this. It's the picture of my butt. It looks like flattened bread. It's hilarious
Mum: *to Lou, while staring at her husband* ... And then once you get her, you can tell her whatever you want
***
Constance: Tammy thinks she is scary
Lou: Tammy isn't scary. C'mon, she and scary?
Tammy: What? You don't think I am scary? I literally almost scared the life out of a man. You were there!
Lou: Literally? Well, literally you scared a little saliva and little urine out of him. Not life.
***
Lou: For the life of me, I don't understand why I am getting attracted to Debbie
Tammy: You have a type. And she totally is your type.
Lou: No, I don't have a type. I never had a type.
Tammy: You do. You like one particular woman Sandra Bullock and attracted to those who are similar to her in appearance.
Lou: Still, that's doesn't make sense why I like Debbie. I admit I am seriously attracted to Sandra Bullock. She is the most powerful, hot, extremely smart and funny woman. And by default, all of her characters such as Gracie Hart, Margaret Tate, Ryan Stone, Leigh Anne, Sarah Ashburn, Cassie Mayweather- Uh- Oh my- Wait a minute!
***
*Debbie finally decides to attend college*
Tammy: *to Lou* It's really a big day for both of us. My daughter's first day at school. And your girlfriend Debbie's first day at college.
Lou: *holding Debbie's books* Debbie attending college is a miracle. Keri attending school is the law, Tams.
***
*Debbie and Lou at dinner table, waiting for others*
Lou: Everyone's in their room. Dinner's getting cold.
Debbie: Baby, don't you worry. They'll be at the dinner table within 10 seconds
Debbie: *turns off the wifi router*
***
*Tammy running for her suburban society elections and Team campaigns for her*
Constance: *announcing* Vote for Tamera Robinson and you won't have to pay taxes for the rest of your life
Amita: What the fuck are you doing? You cannot give false promises! She won't be able to fullfill that! It's not even under her control! This is a suburban election amongst their society.
Constance: C'mon, she won't be the first politician to promise and not fullfill it. Just announce shit and people will buy it.
Amita: Bu-
Constance: *Loudly announcing* 'VOTE FOR TAMERA ROBINSON AND YOU'LL HAVE A FULLY PAID PARENTAL LEAVE OF SIX MONTHS'
***
Amita: Did you buy a birthday card for Lou?
Constance: I did. But I don't know what to write inside. I am not proficient in writing poetic wishes. And Lou doesn't like modern cool wishes
Amita: You don't have to be poetic. Just write whatever you feel like while writing
Constance: okay
*Later*
Lou: Constance, what's this you've written? I don't understand. What's this?
*Shows the card that says ajsydgekksbbe lskeshdhwjasydjne hshsjsk sbdyeyskaj akiasubsn smmahsuek agateiabksalhdb znhsyevsdgrkanbsssskdjddhns*
Constance: And I mean every word of it
***
Lou: Tammy is, as you kids say, awake
Constance: Don't you mean woke?
Lou: I do. But it is grammatically incorrect
***
Debbie: Just be careful
Lou: I always am
Debbie: I respectfully but firmly disagree
***
Lou: *texting* send dudes
Debbie: You mean nudes?
Lou: No, I am in a fight. Send my bouncers as backup
***
*Lou is arrested because of a bar fight and Debbie is pretty late in getting the bail order*
Debbie: *looking at Lou and speaking dramatically* Tis I, thy saviour! Whomst hath arriveth for thee
Lou: Oi Shakespeare! Thou hast never failedth to fuckingth enrageth, thy queen of cunteth
***
*Team playing hide and seek*
Debbie: I sought everyone. I win
Tammy: Not yet. You haven't found Lou
Debbie: *shouts* AUSTRALIA DOESN'T EXIST. IT IS A CONSPIRACY AND THOSE WHO CLAIM TO BE AUSTRALIANS ARE PAID ACTORS.
Lou: *stepping out of her hiding place* I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, CUNT!
Debbie: Now I win
***
*Thoughts going on in their minds while Debbie is explaining new plan*
Nine: *Let me code by tonight and debug it*
Daphne: *I should get a new wig to hide my identity*
Rose: *By Monday I'll be able to design and get the dress ready for Debbie*
Lou: *I'll paint the vehicle and get fake number*
Amita: *I'll use Laser to cut the gems*
Tammy: *I have to get all the necessary gadgets ASAP*
Constance: *🎶Baby shark do doo do do do...🎶*
***
*Constance's boyfriend sees a contact 'My Love ❤️' in her phone*
Boyfriend: aww that's so- wait, this isn't my number!
*Dials the number*
Receiver: Hello, this is McDonald's
***
Lou: You know, you can have a perfect hug with only one person. Not many.
Tammy: What do you mean?
Lou: for every person, there is one who is a perfect fit for hugging. Nobody but that pair can be a perfect fit. Either physical factors or other things affect the hug
Tammy: I don't understand
Lou: let me demonstrate
Lou: *hugs Constance* Too short
Lou: *hugs Nine* Big boobs. Not to my comfort
Lou; *hugs Daphne* too much Chanel no. 5. Can't handle. Also, boobs too big.
Lou: *hugs Amita* short again
Lou: *hugs Rose* Hair tickling my nose
Lou: *hugs Tammy* Your hair is so fake, I can't!
Lou: *hugs Debbie* See, perfect fit. Perfect hug. Perfect everything
***
Daphne: Why do you never share your pizza? We are a team. There is no I in team.
Constance: But there is I in pizza. So, fuck off
***
Debbie: Why are you smiling?
Constance: Can't I be just happy?
Nine: She just saw Daphne trip and fall and break her nose
***
*Night after Constance loses a YouTube challenge miserably*
Constance: I am glad you guys could be here to commemorate the worst day of my life
Amita: Wait, this is the worst day? I thought it was when you failed to catch the home-run ball and it hit your face, and the broadcasting played that clip again and again.
Tammy: Wasn't it the day when you were pranked by a dance group regarding flash mob and you ended up dancing like a moron alone in the mall?
Daphne: What about when you were standing under the roller coaster and someone riding in it puked on you?
Debbie: I remember you said your worst day of life was the day you went to wake up Lou before 11 in the morning and she gave you a black eye
Nine: Wait, I thought it was the day when your aunt covered sex ed class in your high school. I mean, can there be anything worse than that?
Rose: What about when you wore the shirt inside out and became a butt of jokes?
Lou: I was sure it was the day when Amita 'accidentally' deleted your game progress
Constance: Remember that time when I tried riding Lou's bike and- Wait, why am I participating in this!
***
*Young Loubbie*
Debbie: I've found an easy way of making money
Lou: You would make a decent stripper
Debbie: I would make an amazing stripper. But that's not what I'm talking about
***
Constance: I am 31 Cheetos tall
Amita: Why did you think you needed to measure your height in Cheetos?
Constance: Because we were out of Doritos
***
Tammy: I was planning for a vacation and asked my husband. I asked him whether he was in or out. He said he was all the way in for vacation
Lou: In my experience, if a man has to tell you he is all the way in to assure you, he better have a good tongue.
***
Constance: *rolling down the car window* what seems to be the problem, officer?
Cop: Get the fuck out of my car!
***
Constance: *holding up plastic orchids* I got these flowers because it reminded me of Daphne
Daphne: Awww that's so sweet of-
Lou: What exactly makes you remember Daphne when you see those flowers?
Constance: They are cheap, fake and full of plastic just like her
***
*Daphne's ex, a famous actor, speaks rubbish about her in media*
Daphne: I want you to beat the shit out of him but make it look like an accident
Lou: Say no more
*Later, in the evening news*
Newsreader: In what seems to be a bizarre day, actor Allen Wright was beaten blue and black with a crowbar by an anonymous attacker. Interestingly, there was a banana peel next to his unconcious body and a graffiti note on the wall saying he slipped on the peel, nobody hit him.
***
Debbie: *knocking Lou's bedroom door* Hey, I am walking in. Are you decent?
Lou: Morally? Absolutely not. Am I wearing pants? Yes
***
Debbie: Why do you always question my plans?
Lou: Because unlike you, I am the type of person who thoroughly thinks through the things before acting on it
Debbie: Last night you ate marshmallows that were still on fire
***
Lou: If you are not in my circle of trust then you are in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of my doubts
***
Debbie: Good job, Constance. Here's your reward
Constance: I risk my life to get you information and you give a sticker as a reward?
Debbie: Not any sticker. It says me-wow
Constance: Debbie, I am not a child
Debbie: Fine, I'll take it back then
Constance: No. Back off! I earned this
***
Constance: Here is a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe. But instead of kissing, you'll have to fight whoever is under it
Tammy: No! We won't-
Lou: Yay! Mistle-Foe!
Tammy: STOP ENCOURAGING HER!
***
Tammy: Today is a great day
Daphne: Hi
Tammy: My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined
***
Constance: Are you in a mood for a quickie?
Lou: WHA- JESUS! YOU ARE LIKE A KID TO ME! Why would you say something like that to me?
Constance: Hey, I am hungry and I was thinking a quickie would be good
Lou: ARE YOU FUCKING INSAN-
Debbie: What do you mean when you say, quickie, Constance?
Constance: You know one of those egg thingies
Lou: *sighing* It's pronounced Quiche!
***
Tammy: *angry* I hope you have an explanation to this
Constance: we have three
Nine: Pick your choice
***
*Lou visits Oceans family for the first time. During lunch, there is a knock and Lou opens the door to see a police officer*
Lou: How can I help you, officer?
Officer: We're looking for an Ocean
Lou: Is everything okay?
Officer: No. Actually we have an information that one of the Oceans has robbed a bank
Lou: Uh... Which Ocean?
Officer: *not clear about that* The one who committed the crime of robbing the bank
Lou: *looks over the shoulder to see Debbie, Danny, Dennis and Darlene sprinting out of the backdoor*
Lou: You have to be more specific, Officer.
***
*Tammy showing team her old CD player*
Constance: If I lay a slice of turkey on this CD player and press play, will it play the entire life story of the turkey?
Tammy: None of the parenting books I've been reading since the birth of my first born has prepared me for this question
***
Debbie: You are pretty dumb
Lou: Thanks
Debbie: You are thanking me? I just insulted you
Lou: All I heard was 'Your'e pretty'. I am focusing on positives only.
***
Lou: Debbie is like an angel without wings
Tammy: So, a person?
***
Lou: Give me one benefit of dating you
Debbie: You will be dating me. I could go on, but I think I've made a strong point already
***
*After a fight, at night*
Lou: *expecting sex* Hey
Debbie: Hey
Lou: I can't sleep
Debbie: I can. Good night
***
Tammy: You ever get the feeling that nobody ever sees you?
Lou: I have a great body. So, no
***
Tammy: Control your girl, Debbie
Debbie: Since when is babysitting Lou my job- Oh my! That's exactly what I've been doing all these years
***