I stared at the window that didn't have its long, elegant red curtains closed. I could barely see the dark forest that was in front of me from how far away the bed was from it. The night sky was equally as lost to my vision since I couldn't see anything out of the blackened window.
.
.
Pure nothingness.
It matched the room – the cold, lonely darkness that I was forced to be enveloped in by Aidan. Everything bleak, despair inducing...it all correlated back to him. It was just as I was in the final night of the mansion in Japan...
I was alone with my thoughts as they continued to wander and conclude to me being an unhappy, miserable heap of human garbage. Here, in this heavy darkness, I could think about everything that I did wrong and nothing that I did right.
Alone –
Alone with my thoughts.
I clenched my hands tightly, and I was laying on my side, still facing the window. The room had become eerie and silent. I was too scared to move in case that I would wake up the monster that was resting beside me. I didn't know if Aidan was still awake...but, it had been quite some time since we had both called it a 'night'.
I wanted to ask him the question – the question that I never got to ask him even after months of being held captive by him. It never seemed like it was a good time to ask him it. The aching weight that I carried with every single breath that I took – the thoughts once again weighing down on my ever growing fickle sanity --
I unclenched my hands, forcing myself to breathe out.
I didn't know if I was even...breathing right.
The golden medallion that I was wearing was burning into my skin – a constant reminder that I could easily get out of this situation if I just had a decent enough signal. I breathe din slowly, making sure that I wasn't making even a slight noise. I didn't have good signal, though, and therefore I was stuck here – in this bed...
With him --
Aidan.
.
.
I breathed out, holding back my growing animosity for the time being.
Right –
The pressing question that I never got to ask...
"Why did you kill everyone?" I asked, staring at the window that was across the room.
I noticed how the room seemed to grow darker after I had asked it. I didn't know what time it was, or how early it was into the morning. There wasn't any indication of the time as far as I could tell. To be honest, I was expecting the sun to rise up over the top of the forest that I could no longer see due to the veil of darkness.
There was a beat of silence as I waited, my eyes wandering from one side of the window frame to the other. It was as though I was expecting something to make its presence known over there – expecting him to be standing beside the bed, staring down at me, no matter how illogical that idea might have been. I wasn't facing him and couldn't tell his reaction to my question – I didn't even know if the monster was still awake at this point --
"Be more specific..." Aidan's tired voice muttered out as he let out a loud exhale from his nose.
I clenched my hands that were resting to my side.
He is awake...
"At my school..." I strained my voice to get my question out. "Why did you...?" I cleared my throat. It felt tight and was beginning to get closed up. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe as my nasal passages began to get clogged. Tears began to build up in the corner of my eyes. I knew it wasn't the time to cry and let out any lingering sadness that seemed to sill remain. "Why did you kill my..." I took in a deep breath to calm my nerves.
There wasn't a point in getting emotional in front of Aidan --
He didn't care if I cried –
The monster didn't care if I was upset, distraught, or miserable --
He was void of any empathy towards other people.
"You..." I trailed, unsure of where I would go with my speech.
I wasn't aware if I was even making any sense to him --
Blinking my eyes, I took another breath to steady myself. I didn't want to imagine the bloody scene that still haunted the depths of my mind every time I had closed my eyes. I knew that I hadn't thought about it in a long while – and that ignorance brought me a fraction of solace that I once thought I didn't deserve.
"You didn't..." I forced myself to say. I knew I had to keep going if I wanted the answers. "At the other school."
He pulled me closer to his chest, my back not having any freedom. I tensed at the movement, not liking that I was being held against him without any way out. The tips of my fingers curled inwards at the urge to punch him against the side of his face as hard as I could.
"Schools," he corrected lazily. I could feel him perform a shrug behind me. "I didn't kill the rest of them because there wasn't a need to."
I was silent for a moment, furrowing my eyebrows.
Glaring at the window, I heard him lightly shuffle behind me. He readjusted his legs, now sliding one of them through the space of mine. He anchored it around one of my legs and brought it closer to his body. I realized that I could no longer move it without him feeling the motion.
It made me more uncomfortable, having my personal space being invaded – but I knew that he didn't care.
So long as he got what he wanted in the end.
"You made sure I saw them all die..." I stated out loud. I was impressed at how strong my voice had become when I was teetering between being scared and angry at the same time. "You wanted me to see..." I took in a breath. "You wanted me to see everyone-!" I tried to turn around to look at him, but he tightened his hold on my stomach with his forearms.
I struggled a bit before finding out that it was useless – I was only using up energy that I should have saved for a later battle. "Chris and Jack were my best friends-!"
"You don't know a Chris or Jack, Vienna..." Aidan whispered into my ear, cutting me off.
I shuddered at the feeling of his hot breath tickling the inside of my ear. It was unwelcoming and he was much too close to me. The radiating heat form his breath was enough to shut me up for the time being. I didn't want him to say anything more to me at the expense of my unstable nerves.
"You only know who I tell you to know," He continued, removing his lips from my ear and instead he rested his chin on my shoulder. I glared even harder at the window that should have shattered from the intensity of my gaze. "You keep confusing life with a distant dream."
I felt anger –
Unbridled, indescribable rage at him once again trying to control me-!
My next response had no filter: "Fuck you, Aidan..."
He suddenly pulled me underneath him effortlessly.
It was too quick that I hadn't had the chance to react to it. He got on top and looked into my panicked face. I raised my hands up, ready to push him away from me. My hair was nearly in front of my face from the unwanted movement. Our chests were touching, and he slammed his hands on both sides of my head, narrowly missing hitting me.
My hands were now trembling, unsure of what to do since he had never expressed his own anger quite like this to me before...
He stared into my eyes while I blinked up at him with blurry vision --
I didn't know what to do.
"You really want to test me?"
I remained quiet.
I don't know what to do-!
I began to tremble – my entire body began to tremble as anger soon turned into fear and terror. He didn't say a word after that, just staring into my eyes with his dark blue ones. I blinked my eyes a few times, trying to clear my teary vision.
I felt his...erected lower member through the thin material of his boxers and tightly closed my eyes. It was unfamiliar – being this...intimate with someone before. I never had the chance to feel a man's lower body part like this – it was poking me straight in the leg --
He had never been this brazen – this forward before.
I was scared --
I was scared of being violated-!
"D-Don't do this-!" I pleaded weakly, opening up my eyes to stare into his dark blue ones. The very same ones that I wanted to desperately forget and yet they still haunted every memory and nightmare that I seemed to have -- those eyes that were filled with lust and desire.
I knew that I wasn't safe without somehow talking reason into the man that was holding me down.
"You..." I trailed breathlessly.
Aidan leaned down while I tried to find some strength to move my arms, hands, or fingers. They felt frozen from the fear that was building up inside of me. The only thing that they could do was to keep trembling in place. I swallowed, knowing that I needed to break the sexual tension that was steadily increasing.
"You – You don't want to rape me-!"
"You're right," Aidan muttered out with a mocking dejected sigh. I looked up at him in surprise, unsure if this had all been a trick in order to lower my defenses. "I don't want to perform intercourse until we're married."
He remained where he was on top of me...Aidan was giving no indication of removing himself from his current position. I moved the tips of my fingers in anticipation – I wanted nothing more than to push him away. They weren't trembling to the extreme that they were before, although I still couldn't find the strength in me to raise my arms and force him off of me.
"I haven't seen you in months..." He trailed, raising his clenched hand to run the side of my cheek with his knuckles. I hesitantly turned my head to the side, wanting to minimize the amount of skin he had infected with his touch.
I could practically still hear the want in his tone --
The unhealthy obsession that he held for me was being unmasked through his voice. I couldn't help it when a small shiver ran up my spine – I did well to hide it. His eyes narrowed as he looked into my eyes. I did my best to keep my eyes away from him.
I never wanted to be the center of his attention...but it appears like I'll never be able to not be.
"I should have recognized you when you were in that black room," he tilted his head to the side. He lowered his hand from my face, done with feeling my now clammy skin. "We would have had a better start to the night."
Better start to the night...
My thoughts went to the girl that he had killed – No, the one that he had poisoned earlier and watched her die.
I was silent but clenched my hands in anger.
I didn't want any more girls to die because of me – because of his sick obsession towards me. I couldn't shoulder the blame of knowing that I was the indirect cause of an unknown number of girls dying, even when I didn't know about it --
"Don't kill anymore girls --"
"Does it make you jealous, Vienna?" He whispered into my ear, lowering his head. I paused in what I had to say, once again he didn't understand the concept of personal space. It seemed like he also lowered his guard, forgoing his focus on me to instead taunt me. He couldn't see what I was going to do with my hands – and now was the time to act.
He still didn't think I was a threat –
It was a good time to make him realize that I was.
I quickly sprung my hands up and pushed him off of me harshly, using all of the strength that I had left. It was hard to move the unmovable wall of muscle that was Aidan.
Thankfully, I had my many months of muscle training to acknowledge for my efforts.
My eyes quickly scanned for the one thing that could turn this entire hostage situation around. It was hard to see in the darkness, but I managed to detect the small glimmer of metal in the darkness of the room -- it was resting on the side table that was on Aidan's side of the bed.
I heard Aidan roll off the bed but didn't turn my head in order to see it.
Grab the remote-!
I snatched the remote that was on his side of the table in a vice-like grip. I held onto the remote as though it would be the death of me if I let go – and it would have been.
A hand shot out to grab my ankle just as I had wrapped my fingers around the sleek metal of the material. I let out a yell at the sudden, unwanted contact, having my entire body freeze up at the fear that washed over me.
"A-Aidan...!" I began to yell, but he dragged my leg down mercilessly.
One of my hands gripped tightly onto the metal remote while the other, in a desperate attempt to maintain the high ground, gripped onto the bedding. But, the bedding was also brought down along with me.
I scrambled to see when the blanket fell over the top of me, momentarily blinding me. I was rushing to pry it away, not being able to see the most dangerous opponent that I was currently up against. It was imperative that I throw this heavy bedding off of me in order to find out where Aidan was.
There was nothing but the darkness underneath the heavy blanket. I managed to pull the material away inch by inch, unaware throughout my frenzy that his once harsh grip had left my ankle. I was feeling the sudden adrenaline rush that most of my senses had left me. I could barely feel the blanket in my grip as I quickly kept pulling on it.
After another quick pull, Aidan's unamused face was in front of me. His arms were crossed against his chest, and he was once more towering not even a foot away, making me feel small and insignificant once again at the incredible height difference – amplified at the fact that I was sitting down and he was standing up.
I let out a small gasp and I did my best to scoot back without causing too much attention.
I need to gain some distance-!
"Give it to me," he ordered darkly, his eyes looking for the remote that had had thought was somewhere underneath the blanket.
"No!" I yelled defiantly, gripping the remote tightly in the hand that was stationed on the ground. I was lucky that he hadn't noticed that it was, in fact, in my hand.
I kicked him roughly in the chest, once more sending him backwards. He wasn't paying attention since he was too preoccupied with his search for the remote. He tumbled to the ground, though he must have recovered his bearings a bit too quickly -- he brought his legs out and snatched my own.
Aidan gave my body a stern pull towards him and my grip instantly loosened on the remote. It was thrown into the heap of blankets, and I had lost visuals on it --
The remote was still somewhere inside of that mess-!
I had to get it-!
"Vienna-!" Aidan warned, his tone stern and short. I shot up to my knees and crawled forward in order to dive under the heaped bundle of beading that was on the ground. Once more his hand caught my ankle, sliding my body on the wooden floor back to him.
Always back to him – back to his grasp!
"Let me the fuck go-!!" I screeched at the top of my lungs, but his hand shot out to cover my mouth. I squirmed underneath his grip, his body toppling over mine. His knees were pressing into both of my sides, and I raised my hands to scratch and simultaneously punch him away.
This time he kept his distance in order to not get hit again.
"Stop," Aidan ordered lightly.
I wouldn't –!
I would never stop trying to get away from this bastard-!
My eyes narrowed and my hands kept shooting out to strike him. Each one equally as desperate and wild as the last one that I sent out.
"Vienna..." He narrowed his own eyes back at me.
I was breathing heavily at this point, exhaling rapidly through my nose since my mouth was still being covered by his disgusting hand. It was clear to me that Aidan was waiting for my energy to die out – I had fell victim to his plan and hadn't thought much about anything else aside from getting away from him.
I gave one last attempt at a punch before my arms fell out to my sides as I continued to breathe loudly.
"Good girl..."
I kept glaring at the man – I was upset that he was praising me for listening to him when he knew that I didn't have any energy left. I had no other choice but to stop since I couldn't keep uselessly fighting against him forever...
Aidan looked over at the bedding that was on the ground next to the bed. We both knew that the remote was underneath it somewhere. I was hoping that he would let me go in order to search for it – it would give me a chance to rest up a little bit and then plan my next series of attacks --
I wanted to claw his eyes out and make him go blind-!
He looked back at me – I was still out of breath with my blonde hair wildly displayed around me in a tangled, chaotic mess. I didn't need a mirror to know that I looked like a banshee or an ungroomed witch from children's story books.
"You made such a mess..."
He raised his other hand, to which I followed closely with my eyes. I couldn't help it as they widened when it got closer to my face. I was breathing heavier and paused as it stroked my cheek gently. I tensed at his touch and strained my head away from him.
I was looking across the room at the wall, now.
One of his hands was still covering my mouth so I couldn't even scream obscenities at him.
Once again the anger had died down quickly as I realized that compromising situation that I had ended up in. The trembles came without warning – I couldn't stop my body from responding to the emotions that I was feeling.
"Vienna, you don't have to be scared."
Was I scared-?
Was I angry at myself-?
Or...were these trembles from the self-loathing that I was currently feeling...?
It was always self-loathing with Aidan. He made me realize just how small I actually was in the grand scheme of things – he made it seem like I shouldn't fight against him. He put in the mental picture that trying to get away was useless...I shouldn't even bother with escaping from him --
We were playing a game of cat and mouse –
It was no secret as to who was the cat and...who was the mouse.
There was a steady knocking at the door.
It took me only a second to realize that help was on the other side of the door – I just needed to make enough noise to get the person's attention. For the first time since I arrived here...I had hoped that it might have been Zander.
The hope of escape from Aidan refueled my fighting spirit.
I swung out at Aidan once again.
He tightened his knees at my sides and this time made an attempt to secure both of my wrists in one of his large hands. It had worked, and I couldn't claw and punch at him anymore. He forced my arms above my head while I kept trying to scream loudly, even if it was severely muffled by the palm of his hand.
He wasn't gentle as he slammed my entrapped wrists onto the hardwood floor. I let out a whine of pain that shot through my arms. Aidan's other hand tightened its hold around my mouth, his fingers digging roughly into my skin in an effort to keep all of my noises to a bare minimum.
"Arianna?" Zander's voice came from the door. He knocked a few times, and my eyes quickly shot to the door. "Are you asleep? I thought I heard some noise and I wanted to check..." He wiggled the door knob, only for him to find it locked.
Aidan narrowed his eyes darkly, his eyes turning towards the door as well.
We both watched as the doorknob jiggled a few times before it stopped completely.
I took this moment to breathe in and scream as loud as I can, but, much to my dismay...it came out muffled and soft. My eyes widened when I realized that I still had the use of my legs. I slammed my bare feet on the ground twice before Aidan readjusted his position to prevent me from doing it anymore.
The door suddenly slammed open and Zander was holding a rifle in his hands.
"Let go of my guest, Aidan..." Zander spoke and then brandished him a tight lipped smile. Aidan didn't move from me, and instead glared up at his older brother. "Now," Zander added. "I don't think I need to tell you who has the advantage."
"Well..." Aidan trailed, a smirk appearing on his lips. I watched the exchange between the two brothers, wondering if Aidan will release his hold on me so that I could pry him off. "You never were the type to take combat classes seriously in childhood..."
"Are you really going to berate the one holding a gun?" Zander asked rhetorically. Aidan didn't reply and instead kept quiet. "And, you were never the one to take your basic studies seriously – then again I am the one with two degrees of science in this room..." He responded haughtily.
Aidan chuckled humorlessly, shaking his head. "I don't need another Xavier lecturing me."
"Hm," Zander shrugged nonchalantly. "Xavier is the fun brother, isn't he?" He questioned. "Therefore, I suppose I am inadvertently classified as fun. What does that make you?"
Slowly...Aidan released his grip on me.
My wrists were pulsing madly, he had most likely cut off the blood circulation from how tightly he was holding onto me. He removed his hand around my mouth and then looked down at my face with a smirk. "You look so pretty with my marks on you..." He placed his thumb up to my lower lip and pulled on it slightly. It popped back into place while I could only lay there, trying to predict what his next moves would be. "You always did."
I glared venomously over at him. "I hate you," I couldn't help but growl out.
He didn't look fazed by that admission as he stood up beside me. I quickly scooted myself back a few feet and rubbed my wrists gently with my hands. They now had bruises in the shape of his fingers around them.
"Go to your own room, Aidan," Zander spoke with exhaustion.
Aidan crossed his arms, bulging out his muscles as he left the room silently. He nearly collided with Zander's upper arm, who managed to take a step out of the way before they made contact. At hearing the sounds of Aidan's retreating footsteps down the hallway, Zander lowered his rifle and took a few steps towards me.
"Are...?" Zander scanned his eyes up and down. "Are you okay?"
I nodded, although my body once more started to tremble. My mind was just now processing what had happened – and how badly everything could have ended if Zander hadn't been there. I might have been shipped off to a different place with Aidan...never to be seen again.
It was too stressful –
"Do you have a...?" I looked at him in the eyes. Zander tilted his head, silently motioning for me to continue my question. "A cigarette I could use...?"
"I don't," Zander responded with a thin frown.
I was rubbing my hands up and down my legs, trying to ease my nerves. Every part of my skin that Aidan had touched felt as though it were on fire, or had been electrified. I rubbed my cheek with the back of my hand, wanting to erase his touch.
"Okay..." I whispered out, tears building up in my eyes. "Sorry," I mouthed, lowering my head.
"It's okay, Arianna, you don't have to be sorry for asking a question," Zander responded with a light hearted grin. I raised my head to meet him in his kind eyes. "Listen, when we go shopping tomorrow, you can pick up a pack of cigarettes – whatever you want!" He pointed a thumb to his chest.
I could see the bags that were underneath his eyes – he was just as tired as I was, if not more so.
"My treat!" Zander exclaimed excitedly
Shopping...?
I just wanted to go home --
I missed Jonah --
I wanted to be away from Aidan.
"Sure," I said without emotion. I didn't have the energy to be convincing or cordial at this point. "Sounds nice."
"I'll leave you to get some rest, then," Zander spoke, unsure of what to say in response to me. I looked away from him, not wanting to look him in the eyes anymore. "Sleep well, Arianna," Zander added, walking over to the door and closing it on his way out. I heard his soft footsteps, not at all as demanding or intimidating as Aidan's.
Once he was gone, I quickly jotted up to my feet and locked the door.
I didn't want Aidan coming in again – I didn't know how he did it the first time.
Once it was locked, I slid my body down the door and steadily breathed out.
I really was tired...
I raised my knees up to my chest and hugged them with my arms. I placed my head to rest on my knees and let out another breath, finally being able to relax for the first time I was here. I breathed in and then out, feeling the overwhelming tension leaving my body --
I truly was exhausted.
I hadn't realized when I had fallen asleep...
A/N: I am so sorry this is late -- I'm out of town for the holidays! Hope everyone is having a great end to the year 2022. I wish I could say more but I am officially running out of time before Monday ends!
Sorry for any very rough grammar mistakes that you might find. I am rushing this as though I have an assignment due in the next fifteen minutes ahahaha!
Thank you all for your continued support and I will see you all next year/next week! <3