"Do you have any Christmas traditions, Ghost?" I asked out of curiosity. I turned my head to look at him, pausing the task of unraveling the garland that I was going to put up. There were Christmas decorations littered all around me where I sat on the floor.
"I used to take my nephew out to see the decorated houses with some hot chocolate." Ghost answered. It was more than I was expecting. I thought I'd only get a shake of a head or a grunt.
"We can do hot cocoa." I smiled at him. "So we've got Ghost's hot cocoa. Gaz likes the mistletoe and making cookies. And we will do Soap's matching pajamas and open one present on Christmas Eve. What about you Captain?" I asked Price.
Price turned to look at us. Gaz was excitedly pulling out decorations with me and Soap was trying to put up the tree.
"Uh, no," Price said.
"Huh?"
"No traditions. I haven't celebrated in years. Don't know why you're going through all this trouble for just another day." He stated.
"It's Christmas!" Gaz said in shock.
"Well, you can make a tradition with us!" I smiled at him as I placed the decorations on a shelf. I gasped before turning to him and rushing over to grab his hand. "You can dress up as Santa and hand out the gifts! That's something my family did pretty much every year when I was younger. You've got the beard and you like your hats and-"
"Uh," he hesitated, looking down at me holding his hand. My eyes trailed down and noticed, causing my cheeks to heat up, but I didn't move them.
"Please?" I asked in a quiet voice. The others were looking at him.
"No. I don't think so." He grumbled before grabbing his mug and walking out of the room. I stood for a moment when he had moved past me. My hands fell and I took a deep breath, trying to think of anything other than how the man I had been in love with for the past 11 months had practically just shattered my heart.
"Lucky?" Soap called out softly.
I sighed and turned around. Forcing a smile, I waved it off and got back to decorating. "I guess I can dress up as Santa. The suit is going to be too big but we can make it work."
"He's just being a Scrooge. Don't let him get to you." Soap said. Gaz nodded from where he sat.
—-
I had spent the next few days leading up to Christmas doing all the fun traditions with everyone. It was important to me. I wanted to make everyone feel at home and happy.
It was fun. I liked getting a glimpse into everyone's life. Even Ghost seemed to be having fun. I could see the little wrinkles in the corners of his eyes that indicated he was smiling.
I had given each of my teammates a kiss on the cheek under the mistletoe, except for Price who seemed to be avoiding me. I had been nagging him about joining in on the traditions and dressing up, but he still insisted on being a Grinch.
I had managed to pull him over to the couch to sit and watch a Christmas movie with us. I sat in between him and Soap. I had seen the movie more times than I could count so I was practically mouthing the words as they were being spoken.
When the movie finished Price stood up to leave.
"Wait!" I called out. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "We get to open one present tonight," I told him.
With a sigh, he sat back down on the couch.
I got up and handed the presents I had gotten to each of them. I sat down on the couch and waited excitedly for them to start tearing the wrapping paper.
"Go on!" I smiled.
Gaz opened his present first. His smile grew as he looked at the new video game I got him. He gave me a thank you.
Soap tore into his gift like an excited kid. He laughed wildly at the big sweater with the Scottish flag. He leaned over and placed a big kiss on my cheek practically shouting that he loves it.
Ghost was next to open his. I could see that he was smiling under his mask and he examined the book in his hand. It was a book that we had both discussed how we read it when we were younger. He thanked me after reading the little note I had written on the inside. Soap tried to lean over and read it, but Ghost closed it so he couldn't.
"Your turn!" I smiled, bouncing on the couch next to Price.
"That's okay. I'm pretty tired so I'm going to turn in and-"
"No! Come on! Please?" I practically begged.
"Lucky-"
"Why are you being like this?" I shouted. I was angry. For the past two weeks he was brushing me off and it felt like he was purposely trying to ruin the fun.
"Why am I- Why are you being like this? It's just another day! It doesn't matter! It's all stupid! Why do you care so much?" He shouted back.
I was breathing heavily, the lump of anxiety sitting in my throat. My eyes stung which made me even angrier. I was tough. I had been through some of the most dangerous situations anyone could go through, I had been stabbed, fallen out of helicopters, and gone undercover in a drug cartel. I had almost died more times than I could count and not once had I cried.
But now, oh boy, I couldn't stop the tears. My heart was pounding in my chest and there was ringing in my ears. I felt like I couldn't breathe.
"Why do I care so much?" I asked through my teeth. "Because it's all I can hold onto! I haven't been home for the holidays for the past six years! I haven't been able to see my family for the holidays, haven't had Christmas dinner, haven't gotten a present, and haven't been able to do the traditions in six fucking years! I've been too busy serving and going on missions and being a part of your damn task force and not getting one damn break where I can go home to do that. So I'm sorry if I just wanted to bring a little cheer and spend some time with you guys because you're the only family I can be with now and I wanted to be with people I love! I just wanted to have a little fun! That's why I care so much!" I yelled at him.
He stood frozen as I sobbed and yelled at him. When I stopped and he didn't respond I turned and left the room. I didn't want to be stared at or judged for caring so much.
—-
The room sat in silence after their teammate left.
Price sank back down into the couch. He was shocked. He had yelled at her, at all of them many times. He was the Captain. It came with the job description.
Not once had he made her cry before. The guilt sat heavy in his stomach making him feel nauseous. She drove him crazy. Everything she did he took notice of and it was so difficult for him to try and stay professional when all he wanted to do was hold her close and make her stay still and kiss her to shut her up.
She made everything so much harder because despite trying to not acknowledge it, it was obvious he was in love with her.
"She pulled a lot of strings to get you that present." Soap mumbled. "Started looking for them a month ago. Wasn't easy to get them here."
Price looked down at the carefully wrapped present. It was clear she had made sure it looked perfect. There was a pretty bow on top and next to it was a tag that indicated it was for him and from her. Price took notice of the little heart that was next to his name.
The others had gotten up and left the room leaving him to sit in his guilt. He undid the wrapping paper, unable to handle the additional guilt that would be added for wrecking such pretty wrapping.
He pulled the box out. When he took the lid off it felt like all the air had left his lungs. He felt like he was going to be sick.
There in his hands, resting in his lap, was a package of his favorite cigars.
He knew how hard they were to come by, and it must have been especially hard to get them on base. Not only that, but they were expensive.
For a moment his eyes closed. He took a deep breath, stood from the couch, and slowly made his way to the building that was home to their bedrooms.
He stood outside her door, trying to think of what to say. He finally built up enough courage to knock softly on the door.
"Go away Soap." She said through the door. Her voice sounded scratchy, presumably from crying. "It's fucking over. I just want to go to sleep."
Price opened his mouth to say something but there was nothing he could think of. He had ruined her favorite holiday. He had ruined it for everyone.
He turned and made his way to his room. Closing the door behind him, he ran a hand down his face.
He sighed seeing the Santa costume folded neatly on his bed. She must have put that in here earlier today.
"Fuckin' hell." He grumbled. He knew what he had to do. He knew he had to fix this.
—-
When I woke the next morning I didn't get out of bed. I was embarrassed and still angry from yesterday. How could I blow up like that? Why did I have to keep pushing? I ruined it for everyone and now I couldn't confront them.
I lay in bed, watching the minutes tick past on my clock.
There was a knock at my door and I decided not to answer it. I didn't want to see anyone.
"Lucky?" Soap asked through the door. I didn't answer.
Soap swung my door open and Ghost marched to the side of my bed.
"Hey! What are you-" I exclaimed as Ghost lifted me from the bed and threw me over his shoulder. "Ghost! Put me down!"
Ghost ignored me and Soap grinned at me as he followed. I glared at him.
"Enough pouting. It's Christmas!" He cheered. I rolled my eyes and let the masked man carry me. He placed me on the couch in the common area and Gaz offered me a good morning and ruffled my hair as he walked by.
The corner of my mouth itched, wanting to smile when I saw they were all wearing the matching pajamas I had gotten for everyone. I tried not to take notice that Price wasn't here, but it sat in the back of my mind.
Soap handed me a cup of hot cocoa and Gaz put on a movie before handing out stockings that had little knick knacks in them. I smiled, enjoying watching the others open their gifts.
"Ya know, he cares for you more than he likes to let on." Soap leaned in and whispered.
I looked at him. "What?"
He smiled at me. "I'd say the Captain has a bit of a crush. He just doesn't know how to act on it. He's an old man, give him some time to figure it out." He chuckled.
I pushed his shoulder lightly. "He's not that much older than us."
Soap rolled his eyes, but his grin never left his face.
We looked back at Gaz who was opening a gift but stopped halfway through. I could tell he was biting his cheek to keep from laughing.
"Gaz? What is it?" I asked. He merely pointed to the opposite side of the room. We all turned to the door.
There, in all his glory, was Price. And he was wearing the Santa suit.
I gasped loudly as the others started to chuckle. Not thinking I jumped over the back of the couch and ran excitedly towards Price. I slammed into him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He let out a soft groan at impact, but his hand moved to pull me in closer.
My head was buried into the soft fabric covering his chest.
"You wore it." I mumbled, not pulling away from him. My hands clung to the back of the jacket, fearing if I let go it would be gone forever.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled. "I shouldn't have acted like that. It wasn't fair."
I pulled back slightly to smile at him. He smiled back and pulled the hat off his head to place it on my own. "Merry Christmas, Lucky."
"Merry Christmas, Captain."
A whistle caught our attention and we looked to see all three of the others grinning wildly. Soap pointed just slightly above us and we looked up to see the mistletoe hanging perfectly above us. Price leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek before moving to make his way into the room.
I wasn't having any of that. I grabbed his hand, stopping him. He turned to look at me, confusion all over his face. I grabbed just under the collar of the jacket and pulled him down before pressing my lips against his. It took him a second but he eventually melted into the kiss, placing a hand on the small of my back and pulling me closer.
There were cheers and hollars, and I definitely heard Gaz shout 'finally!'. We pulled back and made out way over to the others to continue opening presents. Price kept his arm around my shoulders.
"Thank you for my present." He whispered to me. "Those cigars couldn't have been easy to find."
"They weren't." I chuckled. "Thank you for mine."
He raised an eyebrow at me and I kissed his cheek.
"Do you still hate Christmas?" I teased.
He hummed. "Hate it a little less."