The lunch room was stifling.
Sirius sat next to Mulciber, and across from Regulus and Barty as though he was being interviewed. His foot tapped nervously, and he checked his wristwatch. Twenty minutes until the tests. Twenty minutes until some simulation told him where he was meant to spend the rest of his life. Glancing around the room, almost all of the other tables were chatting, nervous energy making them rowdier than usual, even the abnegation students talked softly to one another, as opposed to their usual silence Sirius always noted.
Startled by a loud crash, he turned, seeing a girl in a baggy grey dress on the floor beneath a seething Avery, her eyes wide and afraid as Avery kicked her fallen lunch tray to the side.
"Watch where you're going Stiff," Avery snapped, walking to their table, seemingly unaware of the eyes on him.
The silence broke soon after, and Sirius looked behind him to see two Abnegation boys helping the girl off the floor. She was crying.
Sirius sighed as Avery sat next to Rodolphus, flicking his hair out of his eyes and shoving an apple slice in his mouth, chewing loudly.
He met his gaze and swallowed, "Something the matter?"
Sirius clenched his fist, willing himself not to shout or say something stupid. "You made that girl pretty upset Avery."
The boy in question smiled, showing crooked white teeth, "I know, deliciously easy to get them riled up isn't it? What animals."
Sirius closed his eyes for a second, a wave of shame at even being seen with this boy making his stomach churn. Avery popped another apple slice in his mouth like the Abnegation girl wasn't still crying at the table behind them
"What do you reckon the test will tell you Barty?" Sirius asked easily, not wishing the conversation to go down the 'poking fun at Abnegation' route any more than it already had.
Barty puffed his chest out a tad, "Definitely Erudite," he said, "There's no other logical faction that I'm suited for."
Sirius pressed his lips together and nodded distractedly. In truth, he thought Barty was right in his judgement. He couldn't see the boy in a dauntless training center, nor in a black and white suit, and definitely not in the fields picking vegetables.
Sirius remembered the first time he had openly admired another faction around his mother. They were going into the Erudite labs together so his mother could show him his 'future workplace'. Sirius remembered seeing a group of Amity wandering about the city, one of them with a guitar hanging to his back by the strap. He looked at them and saw absolute happiness and peace. Sirius, being around ten at the time, had tugged on his mother's sleeve.
"I like his guitar, mother," he had said, "Do you think I could learn the guitar?"
Sirius remembers the sleeve fabric being ripped away from his grasp, a hand encircling his wrist hard enough to bruise.
"And take time away from your studies?" had come the reply. "Are you hoping to be a farmer Sirius? Do you wish to go through your life with no education, no purpose other than frivolities such as music?"
Yes, Sirius had thought.
"No mother," he had said instead, trying to block out the sound of the Amity boy's laughter.
"And you Sirius?" Regulus asked, pulling him out of his reverie. "What faction do you think the test will say you belong in?"
Although Regulus kept his eyes firmly on his lunch as he asked the question casually, Sirius could see the tension in his brother's shoulders, the tight grip on his fork that told him the question held much more weight than Regulus wanted to let on.
Sirius thought for a while before answering, enjoying the way Regulus grew more uncomfortable with anticipation. "Erudite I think," Sirius lied, though even saying the words opened up a pit of doubt within him.
What if he came out of the test and he really did belong in Erudite? That the feeling of not belonging was all in his head, and really was teenage rebellion like his mother said?
Sirius watched as Regulus nodded, but lost none of the tension in his posture. So he knew Sirius was lying then. In some ways, it was a relief to know that his brother still knew him well enough to sense when he wasn't telling the truth. In other ways, Regulus could go to his Mother with his concerns, but what with their conversation at the bus stop, Sirius knew that it was unlikely. Regulus had done a lot of things, but betraying his brother to their mother had never been one of them.
"That's a surprise Sirius," Mulciber said nonchalantly, "I would've pegged you for Candor myself, always running your mouth."
Sirius clenched his fists together tightly under the table, feeling the crescents of his fingernails biting into his skin. It was a stroke of luck that Sirius and Regulus were called to be in the first group to be tested, otherwise Sirius could picture himself punching Mulciber, bloodying his shirt and bruising his hands. As he stood he grinned, the image a comforting distraction as he and Regulus walked with ten other students to rooms only used for aptitude testing. Sirius walked into room eight, whilst Regulus entered room seven, his hands shaking slightly.
Sirius had never stopped to think if Regulus ever doubted what his results would be. Certainly their mother expected him to be Erudite, but Sirius wasn't sure.
The room was full of mirrors.
Reflecting his pale face and nervous expression back at him, also reflecting the face of a woman who looked uncannily like his cousin Bellatrix, a dreadful girl he thankfully only had to endure for a few birthdays every year. But looking closer, smile lines creased the skin around her mouth, and her eyes were lighter in color and spirit. She wore Dauntless black, and he could see the beginning or end of a constellation peeking through her shirt sleeve, the ink stark on her pale skin. She looked up from where she sat, next to the reclined seat he knew he would take the test in. Her eyes flitted over him, her lips pursing in a way that made him think of his mother.
"Imagine my luck," the woman said, gesturing for him to lay down. "Sirius Black. I was hoping I'd get one of you boys."
Sirius walked slowly towards the chair, sitting on the edge before laying down fully, turning his head to look at the woman who smiled down at him.
"I'm sorry, who are you?" Sirius asked.
She laughed, "I'm your cousin, well, one of them. Your Aunt Druella named me Andromeda Black, but I go by Andy now," she turned for a moment to grab a small cup filled with blue liquid. "Makes it easier to stay incognito," she winked.
Suddenly the woman, Andy, looked more like Bellatrix than ever, and he could see his father in the lightness of her eyes.
"I've never-" Sirius started, terribly confused, "But how come I don't know you? And if you're a Black, why aren't you in Erudite?"
Andy shook her head, "Now isn't the time Sirius, you need to get this test over with or people will worry about the hold-up." She handed him the glass, "Here, drink this."
Sirius stared wide eyed at the liquid, then back at Andy, "You can't tell me you're my Aunt and then expect me to do a test which is supposed to tell me where to spend the rest of my life!"
Andy winced, "Sorry about that, but you really do have to drink it, we've wasted enough time already."
Sirius, more than a bit flustered, eyed the liquid before downing it in one gulp, trying in vain to even out his breathing as his vision blurred before going black.
~~~~~~~~~~
When Sirius' eyes opened, he was standing in the cafeteria, devoid of any students. It was eerily quiet until a voice cut through the silence.
"Choose."
Sirius jumped and turned on his heel, facing a woman who's face looked like a combination of his mother, father, and Regulus.
It was disconcerting, and made him faulter as he spoke. "Choose what?"
She pointed, and suddenly there were two plates sitting on the table closest to him. On one was a hunk of cheese, and on the other was a large knife the length of Sirius' forearm.
Frowning, Sirius turned back to the woman.
"What do I need them for?" he asked.
The woman stared at him, her expression blank. "Choose," she repeated.
Sirius sighed, walking towards the table and hesitating. What if he needed both? What if he chose wrong?
Fuck it, Sirius thought, before placing his hands on both the cheese and the knife. Immediately, they grew red hot and disappeared. With a sinking feeling in his stomach telling him he'd done something wrong, he turned back to see that the woman had been replaced by a huge black dog, its muzzle dripping and its long teeth bared as it growled.
"Shit," Sirius murmered, glancing to check that the knife was definitely gone. It was. "Shit," he repeated as the dog growled again and stepped towards him.
On the fourth shelf of his bookcase, there was a book about dogs. He could see the sentence in his head 'dogs can smell fear'. He hoped his Mother's insistence in reading every word he could get his hands on would pay off as he closed his eyes, sinking to the floor, and breathing deeply as the dog stepped closer. Its breath smelt like death and Sirius winced as the animal's breath rustled his hair, hot on his face. He could practically feel the dog's growling in his chest, and he clenched his teeth to keep from making a noise when the dog licked a stripe from his jaw to his hair line. Sirius' eyes flew open, and he gasped, the dog rolling around on the floor no further than a meter away from him.
Sirius grinned as he held out a hand, the dog rushing to lick it with curious enthusiasm.
"Not scary at all are you?" Sirius whispered, his heart still beating fast and hard.
"Hello Puppy!"
Sirius jerked his head up to see Regulus, seven years old, walking towards Sirius and the dog.
"Reg, what are you-" Sirius started, but was cut off by a guttural growl.
In a second, the dog was running towards Regulus, and Sirius didn't think twice before leaping forward and enclosing his arms around the animal, crying out as he felt teeth enclose around his arm- and then suddenly the dog was gone. The dog was gone and so is Regulus, and Sirius is sitting on a bus next to a man.
He is wearing a combination of torn black jeans and a filthy amity shirt. Factionless. The man turns to him, his eyes wide and his hands shaking a he holds up a newspaper, his finger almost going through the paper as it points to a photo of a woman on the front cover.
"You know this girl?" he asks, his voice rough.
Sirius stares at the girl, the headline above her reading "Woman Brutally Murders her Two Children", his eyes widen and flick back to the woman. Somehow, her face feels familiar, as though he's very close to this girl, yet he has no memories of her.
"Well?" the man prods, "Do you!"
Sirius looked at the man, who obviously would not be satisfied until he got an answer.
Deciding to be strategical, Sirius lied, "She was friends with my Mother," he said, "I didn't know her well though. Terrible what happened, isn't it?"
The man stared at Sirius, his lips shaking. He crumbled the newspaper up in his filthy hands and shoved it in his pocket as he stood.
"Yeah, fucking terrible," he spat.
Notes:
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