Learning how to read was surprisingly easy, Alexander had told Heidi it was one of the hardest things he'd ever done, which Heidi now knew must have been an exaggeration, but on the other hand she had a better resource than all the other children in her class had gotten. The name of this resource was gertrude, or frau Meyer as she had to address her. She was grateful beyond measure for this woman, she was a wonderful teacher, a kindhearted person, a great listener and she knew exactly how to make reading exciting for anyone. In truth, she didn't have to do much convincing for Heidi, since the young girl had been aching to do it since she was seven, but for other children, Gretude's talent was a huge asset and her wide range of literary knowledge stained onto the children like acrylic paint on a white linen shirt.
The older woman made it a habit to give each child a new book on their birthday from the library on her own card. They would have two weeks to read it and she knew that for some people this was priceless.
Heidi and Frieda got theirs on Friday as their birthday was the next day. Heidi had devoured the book before 9 o'clock on sunday. Wilma had given her a kiss on the cheek as she noticed Heidi was reading. My human had then run all the way to the library with quick steps and the taste of blood in her mouth. It closed at exactly 9, and she wasn't going to keep this book for herself for much longer, it deserved to be read by others. She loved it so much, it was the story of a rabbit who discovered the world. It was a really simple book, probably not written for her age group, but what made it so wonderful was the amazing imagery in it. The illustrations of those colourful and riveting adventures were very obviously painted with watercolour. They were delicate and calming, with a muted but yet magical colour choice. Gertrude knew all her students so well.
The next day she was thrilled to hear that Heidi had read it all so fast and most of all enjoyed it so much. She suggested that during their extra hour of reading practice that afternoon, they could talk about the meaning of the book instead of regular reading practice. Heidi agreed with a n eager nod, and then sat down at her desk enjoying the lessons of the day, talking with Tilda about different things.
"Do you think Franz Günther is handsome?" The blond haired girl asked in a whisper. Heidi's eyes narrowed and she angled her eyebrows.
"Not at all," She said, she couldn't think of anyone less handsome, he disgusted her to tell the truth. He scared the younger children at the school, he always started fights and yelled so loud the whole school yard could hear him. She was sort of disappointed in her friend. She couldn't possibly think he was right? A slight fear of it started building up in the pit of her stomach.
"Right?" She then asked with a giggle. "He's horrible, so mean!"
Heidi 's mind slowed down and a huge relief washed over her.
"Lila says he is handsome, she has this huge crush on him." Tilda whispered into her ear and Heidi almost burst out laughing.
"Well, they would make a great couple." She said, "Lila is just as mean,"
Tilda nodded. "She likes to bring everyone else down, it's like a hobby."
Heidi rolled her eyes, of course she likes doing that, she thought.
"She's a viper." Heidi grunted. "Bullying everyone, even my sister, and I don't like Frieda, but she comes home crying because of her sometimes and I don't think she deserves that."
Tilda shook her head. "She's a mouth breather."
Heidi nodded to that, I would never be like her She reasoned but then a thought came to counter that statement made inside her mind. Am I not doing the exact same thing he does? She asked herself. She was talking behind Lila's back with Tilda, just like Lila did to other girls. So Heidi went silent, ending the conversation there and they didn't talk about Lila for the rest of the day.
She said goodbye to Alexander and Tilda as everyone went home and she stayed for her reading lesson, or rather her book club with Gertrude. However once she sat down on one of the front desks someone called for her teacher from outside.
"Frau Meyer?"
Gretrude looked up from her desk and walked toward the door.
"Oh, frieda, what is it?" She asked and then as Heidi's sister started talking she went into the corridor. "Give me just a minute Heidi," She mouthed before she disappeared from my human's view.
Heidi sat on her desk impatiently, her curiosity growing by the second. Eventually she plucked some courage up and tiptoed up to the door. Eavesdropping was bad, and she knew it, her mother reminded her little sister Gisela of it daily, which served as a reminder for her, but that day she just couldn't help herself, after all it concerned Frieda.
"I'm sorry, I was just wondering, because I don't really like adventure books anymore, I think I would prefer something simpler." Frieda said Heidi guessed she had been looking down at her shoes at that moment, she sounded embarrassed.
"Well, I'm sorry to hear you can't read the book Frieda," Gertrude said sincerely.
There was a short silence.
"But, I do have another one that you should be able to read," She then said, "It should have easier vocabulary, and It should be in my desk drawer."
A surge of panic struck Heidi and she quickly jumped back, she couldn't make it back to her desk before Gertrude would open the door.
What was she going to do?
Heidi's eyes then travelled to the garbage bin in the corner of the room. Just as the door slid open she pretended to be throwing something.
"Just another second Heidi," The teacher said, starting to rummage through her drawers.
Heidi sighed in relief and watched Gertrude pull out a book. She didn't get the time to read the title, but while trying to do so she did remember one thing:
Frieda had read the book she was exchanging
Heidi distinctly remembered sitting just next to Frieda, as she read and while reading herself. Her perfect sister even finished the book before her. So why was she lying? Why had she lied about not being able to read the book? She had read it all in one sitting.
The question consumed Heidi, she could barely focus on what Gretrude was telling and asking her. She came up with monotone answers, mumbled yes and no trying to act like she didn't have something else on her mind.
Eventually, an hour had gone by, and Heidi left the school grounds, still thinking of why her sister had lied to their teacher.
Frieda lied, of course, it wasn't new to Heidi that any human being lied. But lying to their teacher? To get a book? Her sister didn't even necessarily love reading, or at least Heidi thought that to be the case.
Snow crumbled and melted under feet as she walked and for long, the slight crunch it provoqued was the only thing Heidi heard until a loud voice echoed through the street.
"Hey! Seide!" the voice called, and not in a nice way. The only person she had ever heard being called nothing but 'Seide' was Wilma at the market by angry old ladies.
Heidi turned around, only to see Franz Günther, Lila Shcmidt and one of Frieda's close friends Maria müller.
Heidi stared at them in confusion. She didn't know why they had decided to go up to her or what she was supposed to say back.
"Yeah! You!" Franz snickered. Heidi stood still, confused.
"What were you just doing? Huh?" Lila asked, getting awfully close to her face, Heidi could feel her breath on her cheeks.
"W-what?" Heidi stuttered. The whole group laughed.
"Oh! the girl speaks!" Maria exclaimed, a chuckle lacing her voice.
Heidi looked from one person to the other frantically, her hands started sweating, why were they laughing? What had she done? Could she just leave?
"We all know what you were doing, you little teacher's pet." Franz practically hissed at her. "You were getting help you don't deserve."
Heidi stared at him, what on earth did he mean by that?
"The teacher protects you like her own daughter." Lila scoffed, getting close to her again. "Just because you can't read."
"Pathetic" Maria chimed in.
"You know the teacher doesn't give us that kind of special treatment." Franz told Heidi, his voice laced with true anger. "She gave me an extra assignment today."
That's because you didn't do your homework. Heidi thought but she didn't dare to say it out loud.
"And she would never give you an extra assignment, now would she?" Lila Schmidt raised an eyebrow at her.
This affirmation was false on many accounts, now that she could finally read she had started getting homework and she was sure that if she were to forget it one day, she would get a form of punishment.
"She would," Heidi croaked out, looking down at her shoes.
Maria took a step toward her. "Oh but she wouldn't," She came even closer. "Because of this!"
She grabbed Heidi's glasses, pulling them off her nose, turning the world into a blur of shapes and colours again.
"No! Give them back!" She exclaimed, reaching for them pointlessly. Maria tossed them to Lila, chuckling.
"We'll see about that," Franz whispered close into her ear. Heidi's blood went cold. For one his breath was horribly uncomfortable against her and once she noticed the shimmering silver glasses being tossed around in the air glistening in the very little remaining sunlight she started imagining what would happen if they broke them.
"No! Stop!" She yelped, trying to catch them as they formed a little circle, throwing it around like a ball.
I wanted to scream at them all and make them go away and leave my poor human alone, but I cannot control what other advisers allow.
Heidi ran around the circle hopelessly trying to catch her glasses. The others laughed hysterically at her.
"Stop it!" Heidi yelled again as she saw the glasses almost hit the ground.
By some miracle, Franz stopped. He extended his hand to Heidi, and just as she was about to take her glasses back, his arm was retrieved.
"How about...no! Dummkopf!" he exclaimed, throwing the precious glasses back to lila again.
Heidi's heart sank deep down into her stomach, she would never be able to put a stop to this.
Her eyes welled with tears, her legs started shaking.
"Stop it!" She tried again, but to no use. They continued laughing.
"You can't even read properly! You're the dumbest kid in school!" Lila laughed.
"And yet, she's still the favourite! How unfair!" Franz yelled.
No this is what's unfair, I thought.
Heidi had gone quiet, tears streaming down her face.
"Oh look, the poor thing is crying," Lila pointed out, producing a fake pout to mock her further.
"Yes, she is! Now leave her be!" A clear, very angry voice said from behind. Heidi sl0wly turned to this person who marched up to Maria and snatched the glasses from her. Then finally, as this tall man came closer to her she recognized someone she should have recognized much earlier. Her brother, Walter.
All the children suddenly stopped, and then in a second they were gone, they had run away quicker than Heidi thought possible.
Walter grunted and turned to Heidi, putting her glasses back on. The first thing she noticed was his unusually soft expression.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
No What the true answer, but she nodded weakly. He gave her a quick hug, Heidi practically fell into his embrace. .
"If they ever do this again, please tell me," he said. "No one does this to any of my sisters without consequences." He cracked a smile and Heidi nodded.
When he pulled away from the hug, he took her hand, and Heidi couldn't stop crying all the way home.
The house felt empty as she entered and her brother closed the door behind them, because it practically was.
Trudy wasn't home, or at least not in the room. Her sisters were absent as well, Wilma was probably working late at some house, Gisela must have been sitting with the apple trees behind the house and as for Frieda, it seemed quite strange that she wasn't there.
Alfred turned to his two children,he sat on the couch, looking very tired, his wrinkles clearer than ever.
"What is it Heidi?" he asked as he noticed her red eyes and wet cheeks. He slowly got up from the sofa, pushing some bottle under it with his foot.
Heidi shook her head and ran up to her room before he even reached her. Her face crashed onto her pillow and she sobbed.
All they said was true.
That's what she thought, she was the dumbest student of them all, she had to be, she had just learnt to read, at ten years old! Ten! No, she was eleven. She had to get used to calling herself an eleven year old. But whether she was ten or eleven didn't matter at all, she was sill stupid. Just like they had said.
She sobbed and even screamed into her pillow, until a soft knock on the door echoed through the room. She took a deep breath, deciding she would ignore it. Her dad had never been good at comforting her, sometimes she wondered if she even liked him at all.
"Heidi," He said gently.
My little human turned to the door, she had changed her mind.
"Come in." She whispered, wiping her tears out of reflex.
Alfred stepped in,having to slightly crouch to get through the tiny doorway.
Heidi sat on her bed, looking down at her socks.
"Walter said someone was bothering you," her father started.
Heidi said nothing to that, bothering was quite weak of a word to describe it.
Suddenly, Alfred wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. This was a rather rare occurrence and Heidi's face revealed it.
Her eyes were wide now, her previously red cheeks now pale in some sort of shock.
"I'm sorry, Bärchen." He said, and with that Heidi leaned into his hug, burying her face into his shoulder.
She kept crying for a while, until it just stopped and once it did, Alfred pulled away and smiled at her.
"I think I know something that might cheer you up," He said to Heidi.
They both went downstairs.
"Walter, do you know where the marbles are?" Alfred asked. Walter put down the newspaper he was reading and looked to his sister.
"Would you like to play?" He asked. Heidi slowly nodded,letting go of her father's hand.
Her brother took her silence as a yes, and went up to his room and brought the little bag of marbles down.
Ten minutes later, three members of the Seide family sat all over their floor, laughing and yelling at each other playfully. Heidi was miserable at playing with marbles, but she had never spent this much time alone with Alfred and Walter and it was fun, really fun.
She never wanted that night to end but eventually it did. My human went to bed, and went to school and Franz Günther stole her glasses again.
***
"Give them back!" Heidi sobbed, chasing the children. She was getting tired, this year was so far the worst of her life.
Through January, February and all the way to May she couldn't walk home from school without turning into a puddle of tears because of Franz Lila and Maria.
She had tried telling Walter a few times, but he came home so late and just as tired as Wilma. She didn't have the heart, the bravery, Or whatever it was to ask him.
As for her friends, she didn't want to burden them, deep down she felt like she maybe deserved it.
She had tried to tell Gertrude to stop 'favouring' her over other students, but her teacher was adamant on the fact she wasn't in the first place.
So nothing happened, nothing changed, and Heidi sucked her tears up before going home almost everyday.
Once she finally got her glasses back, convulsively sobbing because of all their insults Heidi wondered when the summer holidays would come. She hoped they would leave her alone by then.
My poor hurting human ran to her sister just as she'd pushed the front door open.
"Oh!" Wilma exclaimed, a bit surprised at her little sister. "What is all this about?" She asked half chuckling.
Heidi said nothing and tightened her arms around her dear Wilma.
"Nothing," She said, trying to hide the tremble in her voice. There would have been too much to explain if she were to tell her what was going on. Heidi couldn't do it, not wanting to burden her with it. She could only take the comfort of her embrace and take even more comfort in the fact that the next day was a saturday.
However, the next morning wasn't exactly what she had hoped for.
She awoke because of her mother shaking her, and then Frieda dragging her cover off of her.
"Wake up!" Her twin ordered. "Wake up, Heidi!"
Heidi muttered, she would have pushed her away violently, but she was tired from last night, she was tired in general.
"What?" She snapped at her. "It's saturday-"
"We're going on a field trip with the BDM!" Frieda said, sighing as if it were obvious when it was, in fact not. Heidi had no idea.
"Come on, get dressed!" Wilma said, Heidi turned to her familiar voice, she was standing in the doorway with a tired face, but as always, a kinder one than Frieda.
Heidi let out a grunt, but got out of bed, grabbing her glasses and putting them on.
She'd gotten used to suddenly seeing everything by now, and she immediately went up to the dusty mirror in her room, it had a big crack spreading upward from the bottom left corner, but as trudy said:
It worked just fine anyway.
Heidi hated what she saw, everytime. Her red curly hair, her freckles, her eyes, her nose, the stupid little dent on her chin. She hated everything about the way she looked. People often said she looked like Trudy, and by people I mean Helga, but Heidi couldn't think of anything more false.
Trudy had been and still was beautiful even if age, work and children had done their tricks on her looks, she was still good looking.
However, every resemblance between her mother and also her sister seemed to be nothing but a reminder to my human of how nothing suited her, and how nothing made her look decent.
Her mother's red hair was wonderful, but on Heidi it wasn't.
Frieda had just enough freckles, while Heidi had too many of them.
The dent on Trudy's chin was barely ever noticed, while Heidi's always was, and if people would comment on Trudy's they would think it was cute, endearing, whereas Heidi's would be called weird. (Mostly- no wait, only by Lila, Franz and maria)
In short, Heidi found herself horrendously ugly.
I think I have never disagreed more about my human's thought ever.
"What are you doing, don't just stand there and stare!" Wilma said, chuckling a bit. "Don't turn into Narcisse Heidi."
Heidi had no clue what she meant by that and even less of a clue about who Narcisse was, but I did and I thought to myself: if only you knew how far from turning into Narcisse Heidi is, Wilma.
The eldest sister stretched her hand out to Heidi, and once Heidi took it, she led her downstairs.
Trudy was braiding Frieda's hair in the living room. She already had her uniform on. Heidi hated the skirt of that uniform, it was itchy but she had to wear it pretty much every day regardless. Trudy saw her two daughters come down the stairs and gave them a quick smile while also pointing to where Heidi's newly washed clothes were.
The young girl grabbed them and ran back upstairs to put them on. She didn't make herself gaze into the mirror this time. She didn't want to be reminded of how bad everything fit her.
Once she got downstairs and grabbed a piece of dry bread, her mother told her to sit down so she could braid her hair.
"Okay," Heidi said, still munching on her single piece of bread.
Trudy smiled, a warm genuine smile which Heidi hadn't seen in a while.
"Did you sleep well, Heidi?" She asked, quietly. Heidi shook her head, she didn't really.
"Let's hope you won't be too tired then," Trudy said a bit sadly and Heidi nodded again, not sure of what to say.
She liked getting her hair brushed, it was rather relaxing and she just wanted to stay quiet, until it wasn't anymore.
After failing no less than three times to make the braids look neat, Trudy sighed.
"Oh Heidi, this will take hours, If only your hair was like Frieda's, these curls will be the death of me," Trudy chuckled a bit tiredly but Heidi didn't chuckle or giggle or laugh. My human took a deep breath holding back tears.