Alright here's the long awaited update! I hope it's worth it! Btw this chapter is dedicated to @skye4eva for all the nice comments. Thanks so much!!! :)
Raines' POV
James and I sat at the table in the middle of the room, coloring a picture since that was today's assignment. We were supposed to be coloring a picture of what we looked like when we cried. I never really looked in a mirror, so I was guessing. And it already looked like crap.
I heard screaming coming from the other side of the room and James and I looked up to see Katie yelling into a phone.
"Why? Why are you doing this?" She screamed, tears streaming down her face. I felt sorry for her, but I knew I couldn't do anything, not now anyway.
"You're such a jerk you know that Jake?" She said, becoming pissed all of a sudden. I looked at her confused, wondering who she was talking to.
"I HATE YOU!" She screamed then hung up the phone and ran into the bathroom. I watched her go, knowing I'd get in trouble if I followed.
"Raines and James, stay here, I'm going to check on Katie," The guy who was watching us said, I think his name was Chase.
"Well someone has PMS...." James muttered. My eyes widened and I looked at him. How the hell did he know what PMS was? He's 11 for goodness sake!
"Do you even know what PMS is?" I asked him, stopping my coloring for a second. He didn't even stop coloring, just looked up at me.
"Well duh, I'm 11, not stupid. It means 'Pissed at Men Syndrome'," I burst out laughing.
"Sure, that's what it means." He gave me a weird look before shaking his head at me. I continued laughing.
"You're so weird," He muttered, coloring his eyes blue with a marker.
"I know," I told him with a smile. Even though my smile was fake, and I knew every time I did smile, or laugh, it was most likely fake. It seemed like I never knew how to smile anymore. And every day it got harder just to fake it.
"Raines, the doctor needs to see you," The nurse Lisa said. I turned around and cocked an eyebrow at her.
"Did I do something?" I asked, getting out of the chair.
"No, every day the doctor talks to you. Just to ask you required questions. It's your turn now," She explained. I nodded and followed her into the office. "It's the first door on the right."
I walked into the room, and took a seat in the chair across from the doctor. I crossed my legs and set my hands on my legs, waiting for him to say something to me.
"Good morning Raines." I nodded, not feeling like talking to him. "How did you sleep last night?"
"Fine," I lied. I couldn't sleep at all. Not with what Liam told me. I would go home, and he left me something there. And I needed to know what it is.
"See Raines, this is where I know that you're lying. You hesitated when you said 'fine' and now you're thinking about something. So I'll ask again...how did you sleep last night?" I looked at him. I thought he was a doctor, not a psychologist.
"Terrible. I went to sleep really late, and then they made me wake up at 5 am to take my blood pressure."
"Well I can give you some medicine to help you sleep at night, and you're starting an anti-depressant tomorrow. But I can give you the sleeping pill thirty minutes before you go to bed. How does that sound?"
I ran a hand through my hair and set an elbow on the arm of the chair, thinking about this. I'm being put on medicine?
"Yeah. I'd like to get more sleep. But how long will I have to take the anti-depressant?" I refused to stay on it for the rest of my life. That wouldn't happen.
"You'll be on it, until you, me and your parents feel like you're ready to be taken off of it. If you let us help you, then you only have to be on it for a few months or a year. But if you don't, then maybe for the rest of your life."
"I'm going to be working with you then," even though most of it will be an act, I thought to myself.
"Good. That's nice to know. So throughout the day, we have a teacher coming in, he'll work on you with certain things, and then you'll be questioned by other people."
"Questioned about what?" I asked.
"About why you feel the way you do." I nodded understanding, wanting to get of the tense environment. And plus I wanted to finish coloring my picture. "OK, well we're done for now, if you can tell James to come in when you get back out there." I nodded and hurried out the room, my hair falling over my face, covering it.
"James it's your turn," I said, sitting back down in my chair next to him. He nodded and got up, heading back to the room.
I pulled my hair up and wrapped a hair tie around the thick brown hair and tied it up in a messy bun, checking the clock. It read 11. Meaning we were fixing to go to lunch in about thirty minutes: breakfast at 7, lunch at 11:30, and dinner at 4:45. The schedule was so weird. And then we watched a movie after lunch until visitors got here at 5:30. Otherwise we were having group discussions, or being questioned. Every time someone asked me questions, I felt like I was in some crime TV show. How they always were questioning us, like it was an interrogation. It freaked me out sort of.
"FINE!" I heard a female voice scream. I looked up and saw Katie stomping into the room and sitting in the chair across from me. I watched her as she stared at the table. I could see a tear slowly roll down her face.
"Hey... are you okay?" I asked her. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and dry tears stains on her cheeks. I asked her a stupid question.
"No..." She muttered.
"Well you can talk to me if you need to. Alright?" She nodded and I offered her a small smile.
"So what are we supposed to be doing?" She asked me. I handed her one of the papers.
"They want us to draw a picture of what we look like when we cry." She studied the paper.
"How convenient..." She grabbed some color pencils and began coloring the picture. I held up mine and laughed.
"Total epic fail," I laughed again, trying to get her to cheer up.
"Wow. I'm not such an artist either." I laughed.
"You know everything's going to be okay? It may not be now. But it will."
"How?" She asked, looking up at me. She was so young, I don't even know why she was here, but whatever it was, she didn't deserve it. She's too young to know what pain is.
"I don't know. But it will be. No matter how dark it is now, after every storm, there's a rainbow. You just have to be patient. Alright?" She looked at me. Obviously not convinced by my words, but then everything sank in. And she nodded.
"Alright. It's going to be okay. Somehow. Someday."
"You have a good attitude about these things," I told her as we both continued the drawing.
"No, not really. I'm just tired of shit happening. I'm ready for a change." I laughed at her choice of words.
"Well still. It's good to be able to think like that. I'm not so good about that kind of thing." I held up my bandaged arm and showed it to her. "I almost completely cut through a vein, almost all the way through my wrist."
She placed her hand under it and examined it with wide eyes. I watched her. She seemed so shocked about it, probably because I didn't come off as the type of person who would do that sort of thing to harm myself.
Katie then held up her arm. There were thin cut marks all the way from her wrist, almost to her elbow.
"I took 32 Ibuprofen's. My brother found me having a seizure, and they had to flush me out. I woke up here."
"Wow..."
"I know. I don't seem like the suicidal type, yeah? Well this is where the whole 'don't judge a book by it's cover' thing comes in."
"Yeah. And the people who drive you to doing this, don't seem like the people who would do that kind of thing."
"If you don't mind me asking...why did you do this? Why did you want to die?" She asked me, as we all both got off track of our drawings.
"Bullies. And my parents. Mostly the bullies though. I'm anorexic, a cutter, and suicidal."
"I'm a cutter. And suicidal, but I love food too much to be anorexic, or bulimic." I smiled a little.
"I weigh 96 pounds," I told her looking down at my lap. I was in grey Aeropostale sweat pants and a teal blue tank top. My feet had socks on them, and my hair was in a messy bun. I counted my ribs as Katie let what I had just said sink in.
"Girl, I weigh 120. You're making me feel fat," She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. I looked over her. She was in leggings and a long concert t-shirt. She was beautiful. I knew that much at least.
"You can barely tell though. You're gorgeous, all the way. The reason I'm anorexic is because everyone calls me fat. So I stopped eating. I can go days without eating."
"You weigh 96 pounds and people call you fat??? What school do you go to?" She asked me shocked.
"Well I don't go to one anymore, I got expelled for having a butter knife in my back pack."
"So you mean to tell me, that you tried to commit suicide at your school?" She asked, getting more and more shocked as we went on.
"Yeah. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to die."
"I tried to commit suicide because...I was raped, and two weeks ago I had a miscarriage."
I swear, in that moment, my eyes almost popped out of my sockets.