My Vampire Bromance

By JWKlaeis

35.2K 2.3K 489

Phillip is awkward at best. His hair's a mess, his style more than dated, and when it comes to picking up wom... More

Welcome to My Vampire Bromance!
Chapter 1: An Unexpected Gift
Chapter 2: Head in the Clouds
Chapter 3: Not What I Expected
Chapter 4: A Murder on Campus
Chapter 5: The Bargain
Chapter 6: There's a Vampire in My Home
Chapter 7: Ground Rules
Chapter 8: I Can Sleep With You, Right?
Chapter 9: What Are You Doing Here?
Chapter 10: Let Me Brush Your Hair!
Chapter 11: I Just Want to Stay Here
Chapter 12: Let's Go
Chapter 13: A Night Downtown
Chapter 14: Back Home
Chapter 15: Samantha Peterson
Chapter 16: A Vampire in the Library
Chapter 17: What the Hell is Happening?
Chapter 18: What's That On Your Neck?
Chapter 19: An Awkward Situation
Chapter 20: When Did You Know?
Chapter 21: Samantha Peterson is My Girlfriend???
Chapter 22: What Do You Mean You're...?
Chapter 23: Thomas Langerty
Chapter 24: I Just Need A Friend
Chapter 25: It's Always Been Him
Chapter 26: Stop Panicking Phillip!
Chapter 27: A Tense Car Ride
Chapter 28: An Awful Situation
Chapter 29: Let Me Take You Out
Chapter 30: I Want to Date You
Chapter 31: Phillip Please!
Chapter 32: He Kissed Me and I Ran
Chapter 33: How Many Days Till Christmas?
Chapter 34: An Intruder
Chapter 35: I'm Sorry
Chapter 36: Can We Meet Up?
Chapter 37: A Walk in the Park
Chapter 38: I'll Cook for You
Chapter 39: Bros?
Chapter 40: I Can't Do This Anymore
Chapter 41: You Okay? You Don't Look Well.
Chapter 42: Why Haven't You Fed?
Chapter 43: Poisoned
Chapter 44: Sire
Chapter 45: Jenna, You Need To Leave
Chapter 46: We Have To Save Her
Chapter 47: They Never Stood A Chance
Chapter 49: Always the Optimist- Samantha
Chapter 50: This is Not the End

Chapter 48: Off With Her Head

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By JWKlaeis

"Oh, Phillip...Phillip. What made you even think that either of them could save you?" Soreana threw Thomas's body to the floor. "You poor, innocent thing."

I took a step back, closing my eyes. The worst was yet to come. She'd killed them both. The people that I had relied on to defeat her, hadn't even come close. I was shit out of luck. What the fuck?? I tripped over Victor's body trying to get away from her. I planned to get her into the kitchen. To where some kind of weapon would be that I could use.

"Don't you know who I am?" She cocked her head at me, her eyes glowing. There was something animalistic about her gaze. Something more than the typical vampiric hunger I'd grown to know over the past few months. It set me on edge. "I've known who you are for months." She flicked her fingers as she walked across the kitchen. She looked every bit like a vampire from a classic horror movie.

"I know that your style's out of date," I shot at her. It was all I could think of. Stupid! Oh my god, dude! Really?!

She instantly turned towards me, fuming, "Excuse me?"

"I said," I took a step towards her, astounded that my jab at her fashion had worked, "That your outfit sucks." Oh, if Samantha could hear me now! She would be so proud. I shook my head in disbelief. Well, it seemed all those library study sessions spent with her constantly complaining about her clothes had finally paid off. Just not in the way I had intended. It was all I could think of, and it seemed to work. Soreana was suddenly off her game. I looked out into the dining room and noticed something was wrong. Something was missing. Something that had been there mere moments before. "What the...?"

My vision blurred the moment something hard and solid hit my stomach. I flew back several feet, smashing into the kitchen cabinets.

"You have no right!" Soreana screamed. Her face had become monstrous. I struggled to right myself as she came barreling towards me, teeth bared. "My outfit is fine!"

"If you lived in the sixteen hundreds, maybe," I sputtered out between coughing fits. She broke a few ribs for sure. "But I mean, c'mon lady! Get with the times!"

She screamed at me again, dark hair flailing around her pretty face. A face that looked less than beautiful at the moment. Soreana lept on top of me, fangs bared, spit flying into my face. "I'm going to kill you! Just like I killed Victor! Just like I killed Thomas! Just like that bitch!!"

Her words were suddenly blunted as her head reared back. A flash of silver protruded from the front of her throat. I watched as Soreana's red eyes suddenly browned as the metal object left her, a gaping wound pumping out blood in its wake. The vampire grasped onto her throat, choking on the fluid that ran out of her. She burbled something incoherent, terrified. Then a voice came from behind her, "Who the fuck are you calling a bitch?"

I watched as a sword severed Soreana's head completely clean off her neck. I instantly recognized it as the one Jenna had gotten at a renaissance fair. She had insisted on being sharpened to the point of deadly. "What if I require it one day?" she had said, shrugging. Never in a million years would I have thought that she would ever need it. And yet, there the sword was, hanging in the middle of the air, along with Soreana's still blinking head in a soft brown hand. Jenna was alive!

"Fucking lunatic bitch!" Jenna said, dropping the sword the kitchen tile with a clatter. Soreana's body twitched on the ground. "You alright, Phillip?" she extended her free hand to me.

"Yeah," I said, grasping onto her. I stood, wiping what I could of Soreana's blood off me. Pointless. "You're alive? But how?"

"Victor," she said, cocking her head towards the living room. "Victor gave me his blood. He did something to it to slow my breathing and heart rate down for an hour. That it would eventually wear off." She cocked her head off to the side. She looked around, every bit the beautiful warrior I always knew her to be. "Is he okay?"

I shook my head, "Not really. Soreana slit his throat."

"Fuck...Thomas?"

"She broke his neck...he might be able to come back, but Victor..." I sighed, hopeless, "I don't know."

"Fuck this bitch man!" she yelled, looking down at Soreana's head she held in her hand. The vampire's eyes turned up to meet Jenna's, her mouth open as if trying to speak. "Yeah bitch, I mean you. Fuck you! If you think I'm going to drop your head so your body can find its way back to you, you better think again!" Jenna looked up at me, "I'm not dropping this thing."

"I don't blame you," I agreed. Then, with her free hand, Jenna grasped mine and we headed into the living room.

The sight was gruesome. Victor was lying in a pool of his own blood, eyes dead and staring. Thomas's head was cocked the wrong way. I sighed. Looking at Soreana's severed head, Jenna asked it a question. "The blood from your body will probably bring your boys back to life, won't it?" The head remained mute but looked around rapidly. "Thought so." Jenna paused, then looked at me. "So Phillip, you want me to bleed the rest of her body, or would you like the honor?"

I swallowed hard, downright squeamish. "Jesus, hold her head!" Jenna threw the vampire's head at me. I caught it, trying not to scream when the base of it squished into my palms. Her mouth opened as if to bite me. I quickly grasped the length of her hair and held her head as far away from me as I could. I watched as Jenna headed off to pick up Soreana's body and set to work.

The next few hours were gruesome. I watched as Jenna drained Soreana's body of its remaining blood, pouring it down Victor's and Thomas's throats. God I hope it will work. When she was done, Jenna swiftly took Soreana's head from me and put it on the dining room table. "Look, I don't know what standard getting rid of a vampire procedure is, and until one or both of them are revived, this bitch's head is not getting near her body."

"Agreed," I said. The two of us sat down at the dining room table like we were waiting for coffee to be done brewing. Now really didn't seem like the right time to rest, what with the love of my life in the next room.

"You know Phillip, once this shit is over, we are going out for ramen. Tonight, if at all possible."

"Do you think anything is even open this late?"

"Of course, Phillip, something is always open," she sighed, her brown braids falling over her shoulder. Jenna smiled at me. "So, tell me, Phillip, what'll you do when Victor and Thomas wake up?"

I let out a long breath, "I didn't know. Break up with Victor and tell Thomas to get out of my life. If I hadn't gotten involved with them none of this would have ever happened."

"If you hadn't gotten involved with them, I'd most likely be dead," Jenna stared deadpan at me. "Thanks to Victor's quick thinking, you and I are still alive! He loves you, Phillip. Or well, loved you. Let's hope he comes back to life, okay?"

My mouth twisted, "Okay."

"Think on it for a bit before you break up with him or tell weirdo boy Thomas over there to get out of your life."

"Okay," I said again. I felt nauseated.

"Is that all you can say, Phillip?" Jenna raised her eyebrow at me.

I shook my head, laughing. "No, Jenna, I want to say thank you for saving my life. And I'm so glad that you're alive."

Jenna smiled, then threw her arms around me. "Me too, Phillip. Me too."

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