A/N: This is a continuation of Apollo's POV po. And sorry na agad kung ngayon lang ako ulet nakapag-update huhu
Anyway happy reading! Btw pasensya na po sa mga profanity na mababasa niyo sa chapter na ito, needed lang hehehe.
P.S. Sorry for the typos! And by the way epilogue na po ang next , see you on my next update!
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APOLLO'S POV
"What the f*ck where's my wife"I've shouted.
Kakauwi ko pa lamang galing sa business trip ko. Ni hindi ko na ito natapos dahil nalaman ko sa isa sa mga tauhan ko na umalis daw ang asawa ko.
At ngayon ay nasa bahay ako nang mga magulang ko, nagbabaka sakaling na andito ang asawa ko.
But f*ck she wasn't here.
"Please calm down Apollo", my girl best friend said.
"How can I calm down if my wife is missing. And she left me with this fucking annulment papers. I will not sign this.", I've said.
"Anak just signed these annulment papers" sabi ni dad.
"No", pagmamatigas ko pa din.
" I'm so disappointed in you son.", my mom said that made me look at her.
"Mom", I've tried calling her pero tinalikuran niya na ako.
"Umalis ka na, huwag kang magpapakita sa akin hangga't hindi mo nahahanap ang asawa mo", my mom said bago siya tuluyang umakyat sa taas.
Napahilamos na lamang ako sa aking mukha. Naramdaman ko naman ang pagtapik sa balikat ko, it was my dad.
"Pagpasensyahan mo na muna ang mommy mo, she really want your wife for you", he said na tinanguan ko na lamang.
Weeks had passed and until now I can't still believe that my wife left me with this f*cking annulment paper.
And take note she already signed it.
How funny it was so easy for her to leave me, when the last time I checked she was in love with me.
She always tells me those three words and now just one misunderstanding she left me.
She didn't even ask my side. She believes what she sees and hears.
If this is what she calls love, damn I don't wanna fall in love again.
This is why I don't want to fall in love again. Just one mistake or even misunderstanding, one will leave and one will stay no matter how hard the situation is.
Way back I always believe that if two people are married to each other no one can separate them. But now that I'm experiencing it, I can't believe that a simple misunderstanding or mistake can be the reason for us to be separated.
Here I am in our house and it feels so lonely, without my wife here. It's just me and the wine.
This is my life now ever since my wife left me.
I felt like my world became darker each day passed by. I need my wife now, she is the only one who gave my life a light.
Napalingon ako sa may pintuan ng bahay namin nang bigla itong bumukas at pumasok ang galit na galit na si Oliver habang si Chronos naman ay sinusubukan itong pigilan sa paglapit sa akin.
Muntikan na akong mahulog sa kinauupuan ko ng bigla niya akong suntukin.
"What the f*ck is your problem", I've shouted at him.
Tang*na nanahimik yung tao dito tas biglang manununtok.
"My problem was you", Oliver shouted.
"What the f*ck are you doing to your life?, You look like shit", Oliver said habang nililibot ang tingin sa buong bahay.
Yes I look like shit now. The house is surrounded by curtains and there's no light. The lights are off too.
All you can see is darkness.
"What do you expect me to do, be happy because my wife left me?"I asked him.
Do you want me to organize a party?, I've said.
"Do you think your wife would be happy if she knew that you're like this after she left you?" Oliver said.
"She wouldn't know anyway", I've said habang sumisimsim ng alak.
Muli niya akong sinuntok na naging dahilan upang tuluyan akong mahulog sa kinauupuan ko.
"Why don't you find her instead of drinking here. Cause to be honest nothing's gonna change even if you drink all your life here in your house. ", Chronos said ngayon ko lamang naalala na na andito pa pala siya.
"Wow coming from you ah", sabay na sabi namin ni Oliver.
Mayamaya pa ay nagtawanan na kami.
"Hey that's my realization after my wife left me too", Chronos said.
"Ulol, uminom ka din naman nun ah", I've said.
"Atleast ako isang beses lang pero agad ko din namang hinanap ang asawa ko, eh ikaw ilang weeks na ah simula ng iniwan ka ng asawa mo, hanggang ngayon umiinom ka pa din", Chronos said.
"Hoy foul yun ah", I've said at tinuro si Chronos.
He just raised his middle finger on me.
"Alam niyo tumigil na nga kayo pareho lang naman kayo nang ginawa, paguntugin ko kayo eh", Oliver said at agad na nilagok ang alak na nasa baso ko.
"What the f*ck that's mine", I've said.
"Ulol, ayusin mo na ang sarili mo at papasok ka ngayon sa kompaniya", Oliver said at iniwan na ako sa dining room. Sumunod naman sa kanya si Chronos.
Wala akong nagawa kundi ang maghanda na para pumasok sa opisina. Ilang weeks na din simula ng hindi ako lumabas ng bahay.
Saktong pag baba ko ay nakita kong nakaupo sa may sala ang dalawa kong kaibigan.
"Finally nagmukha kang tao", Oliver said.
"Ulol", I've said at agad nang naunang lumabas. Sumunod din naman sila sa akin.
Dumiretso na ako sa kompaniya namin.
For now I'll stop finding my wife. I will give her space and after one month I will find her.
For now I'll focus on our company.
I had a hard time focusing on my work since every seconds and minutes passed by my wife still linger in my mind.
Katulad ngayon nakatulala lamang ako sa harap ng lamesa ko dito sa opisina at tinititigan ang larawan ng asawa ko.
Damn I miss you so much my wife.
Weeks have passed since you left me. And until now I'm having a hard time sleeping, to be productive as day passes by.
All I want is to stay in our house until you come back for me.
But who am I kidding, I know you don't want me anymore. Because for you it is all about business, although you always say you love me and you're making me feel it, I can still feel that you're far away from me.
Ginulo ko na lamang ang buhok ko ng ma realize ko na nagmumukha akong tanga dito.
Damn I can't believe I'm talking to a picture of my wife.
One month passed by and that's when I started looking for my wife. Pinasimulan ko na ding ipatayo ang hotel ko.
To be honest it wasn't easy looking for my wife. When I offered thirty million sa taong makakapag turo sa akin kung nasaan ang asawa ko, I got scammed ni hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses yun nangyari.
But I don't care anymore how much money I'll lose as long as I will find my wife.
Sometimes I want to give up, but there's this one thing that makes me have the courage to find my wife more and that's my love for her.
I don't want her to be in another man's arms someday.
Call me possessive or what, I don't care.
She's mine in the first place and I'll make sure until I die she will be mine.
I tried going on their house here in manila. At sumalubong sa akin ang galit na galit na daddy ng asawa ko.
"What the f*ck are you doing here?", he shouted in front of my face and all I can do is to look down.
"Dad, can you tell me where my wife is? I'm begging you", I've said as I bend on my knees.
I look up to him and all I can see is shock, while my mother's wife is looking at me with her wide eyes.
"Please sir, I'm begging you now, can you tell me where my wife is", I've said.
Ngunit imbes na sumagot ay naglabas siya ng baril at tinutok ito sa akin. Kita ko naman ang pagkataranta ng asawa niya.
"Leave before I shoot you", he said.
"Go on sir, shoot me but after this can you tell me where my wife is' ', pagmamatigas ko pa din.
"How dare you ask me that question after you made my daughter cry, after you made her doubt herself and made her question her own worth", he said.
"How dare you make my daughter cry, when you promise that you will never hurt her. And now what happened, because of you she left us. Do you know how hurt it is to see my daughter crying? I f*ck ing trusted you but look what you've done", he shouted.
"Remember this, I will never tell you where my daughter is. She's happy now that she's away from you. If you really want to find her, go on make me believe that you still deserve my daughter if you find her. But if you didn't, then I'm sorry I will let her marry another man again. ", he said bago niya ako talikuran at muling pumasok sa bahay nila.
Naramdaman ko naman ang pag tapik sa kanang balikat ko nang Ina ng asawa ko.
"Don't believe him, his just mad and I'm sorry sa pagtutok niya ng baril sayo", she said.
"It's okay mom, I deserve it anyway", I've said.
Kita ko naman ang pagkunot ng noo niya.
"You know what if I were you hahanapin ko na agad ang anak ko bahala ka baka maunahan ka pa ng iba", she said as she wink at me.
Wait what the hell is she saying?
May ibang umaaligid na ba sa asawa ko.
F*ck it!
Ginulo ko na lamang ang buhok ko bago tumayo at tsaka pumunta sa nakaparadang sasakayan ko.
For now, I need a break, I want to rest first. And tomorrow I will start finding my wife again on my own.
After one month ay muli akong bumalik sa bahay nang mga magulang ng asawa ko.
Unfortunately wala sila at mga tauhan lamang nila ang naiwan.
I tried negotiating with them, for them to tell me where my wife is.
But they were all loyal. They even called my wife's father because they can't make me leave.
Malapit nang gumabi nang dumating ang ama ng asawa ko.
"Wow, you're still here", he said before he punched me.
"Fuck!", I've said at agad na napaupo.
"Haven't I told you, I don't want to see your face on my land", he said.
"Sir please I beg you can you tell where my wife is now", I've said as I bend my knees again.
I don't care anymore about my dignity, if I have to beg for him to tell me where my wife is, I will.
"Sir I'm begging you, I know that I've hurt your daughter, I've made her cry and I make her feel like my unwanted wife but I'm regretting it now. ", I said as a tear rolled down my eyes.
"You really want to know where my daughter is, then go find her on your own, I want you to find her without the help of anyone.", he said.
"I'll give you one year and if you can't still find my daughter then I'm sorry I will let her marry another man whether you like it or not", he said bago ako talikuran at agad nang pumasok sa loob nang bahay nila.
"F*ck this life", I've shouted at agad na hinilamos ang kamay ko sa may mukha ko.
Mayamaya pa ay naramdaman ko ang unti-unting pagpatak ng ulan.
"I miss you so much my wife", mahinang bulong ko sa hangin.
Napangisi na lamang ako nang mas lalong lumakas ang buhos ng ulan.
Mukhang pati ang langit ay dinadamayan ako.
Why do I feel like everyone knows where my wife is, they just don't want to tell me.
Even my parents don't want to talk to me anymore, when they knew that my wife left me.
Why is life so hard?
All I want is to be with my wife for the rest of my life.
But fate is testing me so much lately. It was like fate was playing games with me.
This is one of the reasons why I don't want to fall in love anymore. Every time I fall in love, I always end up getting hurt and being left alone.
Days, months passed by again and until now I still can't find my wife.
To be honest as days, months passed by I lost myself again. It felt like my world stopped and it's just a cycle for me.
Waking up every morning to go to the company, then eating and after that going home just to sleep and repeat.
I'm getting tired and losing hope already. Maybe we are not meant for each other but who knows.
Sabi nila kung kayo talaga ang para sa isa't-isa ay muli kayong pagtatagpuin ng tadhana kahit pa maghiwalay kayo ng ilang taon, para naman sakin bakit ko pa aantayin ang tadhana na muli kaming pagtagpuin kung tayo lang naman ang gumagawa ng tadhana natin.
I'd rather find her on my own than wait for destiny or fate just for us to meet again.
I will be the fate of my own life.
Nawala ako sa iniisip ko nang marinig kong tumunog ang cellphone ko.
It was Chronos, one of my best friends.
"Hello", I've said.
"Gago alam mo na ba yung nangyari sa pinapatayo mong hotel somewhere in Palawan?, he asked me.
"Why what happened?"I asked, still clueless.
"Amp wala ka talagang alam?, he asked me again.
"Wala nga, what happened ba?", I asked.
"Tang*na anong klaseng boss ka kung di mo alam kung anong nangyari sa pinapatayo mong hotel.
"For your information isa lang naman sa mga workers mo ang nalaglagan nang bakal sa may paa", he said that made me gasp.
"I was busy finding my wife okay, I'm sorry", I've said.
"Hyst, you need to stop finding your wife first, kailangan mong puntahan yung hotel na pinapagawa mo."he said.
"Fine, I'll go there to check", I've said at kinuha ang maleta ko buti na lamang ay laging may naka ready na, na maleta ko na may mga lamang damit ko.
While on my way to the airport, I was talking to the engineer that was assigned for building my hotel.
And Chronos was right there was an accident that happened.
And right now I'm regretting it, na napabayaan ko yung pinapatayo kong hotel. I forget to check the workers and even the updates of the hotel dahil inasa ko na lamang ito sa secretary ko.
How irresponsible I am.
Mabilis lamang ang naging flight ko dahil ginamit ko na ang private plane namin.
Nagpahinga muna ako nang saglit at muli nang tumulak papuntang hospital.
I was already at the parking lot of the hospital nang marinig kong magring ang phone ko.
Sinagot ko ito agad nang hindi tinitignan kung sino ang caller.
"Hello", I've said.
"Sir, I'm sorry pero nakalabas na po sa hospital yung isang worker natin na tinamaan ng bakal sa paa.", the engineer said.
"Are you kidding me", I've said
Napalingon ako sa may likod ko nang makarinig ako ng ingay.
Laking gulat ko nang makita ko ang asawa ko.
And guess what her tummy is big. Para siyang nakalunok ng pakwan.
Kita ko naman ang muntikan niyang pagkatumba. Mabuti na lamang ay agad siyang nahawakan nang lalaking katabi niya.
"You okay mahal?", rinig kong tanong ng katabing lalaki ng asawa ko, na nagpakunot nang noo ko.
Mahal ampucha, ano yan mahal ang bigas.
Nakita ko pang may ibinulong ito sa asawa ko.
Tang*na asawa ko yan eh, distansiya o ambulansiya ay mali nasa hospital na pala kami.
Nakita ko pa ang pagsulyap sa akin ng asawa ko bago siya magsalita.
"Yes mahal, I'm okay", she said.
pota mahal daw oh, grabe naman yun.
Ansakit ah, huli na ba ko?
"Good, now let me carry you", I heard the guy said kaya inuhan ko na siya, agad kong binuhat ang asawa ko.
"Don't you dare lay a finger on my wife. I am the only one who can hold her or carry her.", I've said at naglakad na papasok ng hospital habang buhat ko ang asawa ko. Sinadiya kong banggain sa balikat ang lalaking kasama ng asawa ko, naramdaman ko naman ang paghampas niya sa may dibdib ko.
"Put me down", she said, ngunit nagbingi-bingihan ako.
Agad akong nagpakuha ng stretcher para dun ilagay ang asawa ko.
Kita ko naman ang pag protesta sa mga mata niya ngunit wala siyang magagawa.
Akma ko na siyang ihihiga ng yumakap siya sa akin at isiniksik ang mukha niya sa may leeg ko na nagpatigil sa akin.
"Ayoko ko sa stretcher", bulong niya sa akin.
"Nahh, you should lay down here", I've said.
"I won't", she said.
"You will", I've said.
"Oh trust me, I won't", she said, hyst tigas nang ulo eh.
"You don't have a choice", I've said at dahan-dahan siyang hiniga habang pilit na inaalis ang dalawang kamay niyang nakayakap sa akin.
Nang maihiga ko siya sa stretcher ay agad kong dinampian ng halik ang kaniyang noo, kita ko naman ang pagpikit niya.
Dahan-dahan ko ding hinaplos ang tiyan niya.
"After you give birth, we will talk", I've said.
"Wala tayong dapat pag-usapan", she said.
"Trust me wife, we have a lot of things to talk about too", I've said.
"Oh please, I'm not your wife anymore. Months have passed now and a lot has changed," she said.
"Your right, a lot has changed now but nothing's changed about us. Your still my wife who run away carrying my child and I'm still your husband.", I've said.
"Funny ka", she said and I saw how she roll her eyes at me.
"Please bring her to the laboring room now", I heard the doctor say.
Sinundan ko na lamang ng tingin ang asawa ko nang pumasok na sila sa laboring room.
Sa nanginginig na kamay ay kinuha ko ang cellphone ko para matext ang aking mga magulang at para maibalita na din sa mga kaibigan ko na nahanap ko na ang asawa ko.
Una kong tinawagan ay ang mga magulang ko, ngunit hindi nila ito sinagot.
I've realized until now they are mad at me.
I decided to text them.
From Apollo:
Hi mom I know that you're still mad at me but I just want you to know that I already found my wife. And she's pregnant, I mean manganganak na siya ngayon.
From Apollo:
Hi dad I just want you to know that I already found my wife and guess what I'll be a father now dad.
After I texted both of my parents, I decided to let the two of my best friends know that I already found my wife.
I chatted sa gc naming tatlo.
Apollo Halston:
@everyone I already found my wife
Agad naman na nagreply yung dalawang ugok.
Oliver Davies:
Hayy finally, mawawala na din pagiging masungit mo
Chronos Smith:
Wow, congrats HAHAHAHA
Apollo Halston:
By the way she's pregnant, I mean manganganak na pala, I'm in the hospital right now
Chronos Smith:
Pota seryoso?
Oliver Davies:
Wow daddy ka na, congrats pre
Oliver Davies:
Ehem @Chronos Smith kabahan ka na, malay mo tatay ka na din kaya bilis bilisan mo na paghahanap sa asawa mo
Chronos Smith:
@Oliver Davies HAHAHAH I know that's why I'm doing my best to find her already
Apollo Halston:
@Chronos Smith wtf, your keeping secrets huh
Chronos Smith:
@Apollo Halston I'm not, I'm just not sure yet that's why I'm not telling it
Oliver Davies:
Hoyy nawala lang ako saglit biglang gumaganiyan ka na @Chronos Smith FO na tayo hmp
I laughed nang mabasa ang chat ni Oliver parang gago amputa
Chronos Smith:
Teka lang bakit napunta sakin yung usapan, si Apollo pa lang yung pinaguusapan natin eh
Oliver Davies:
HAHAHAHAH oo nga pala noh, so @Apollo Halston what's your plan now?
Apollo Halston:
Ano pa nga ba kundi suyuin, galit eh baka di muna ako makalapit sa anak ko
Chronos Smith:
Oh well, goodluck!
Oliver Davies:
Sabihan mo na lang kami pag kailangan mo ng kainuman
Napailing na lamang ako sa chat ni Oliver.
Mabilis lamang na lumipas ang oras. At ngayon nga ay nasa delivery room na ang asawa ko kaya agad akong sumunod.
"I think you should leave now, I'm here now", I've said habang nakatingin sa lalaking kasama kanina ng asawa ko.
"Why would I?It's our child not yours", the guy said as if I believed him.
"Funny, let me tell you I am the father of her child not you", I've confidently said.
"Di mo sure", the guy said.
Akma na akong sasagot ng pumagitna sa amin ang asawa ko.
"Enough, you two", she said.
"Apollo please leave, I don't want you to be here", she said and I saw her looking away from me.
Wow that hurts but I want to stay.
"Lucien can you stay?"I heard her say that made me look at her.
HAHAHAH tangina, hindi naman masakit.
So Lucien is the name of that guy.
"Sure mahal", the guy said.
"Pano ba yan pre ako ang pinili", the guy said to me.
Ang yabang pag yan nakuha ko ulet, who you ka sakin tangina.
I saw her looking at me, that's why I looked away. I don't want her to see me hurting.
She will always be my weakness.
"But wife, I want to stay here", I've said.
"No buts, please leave now", she said.
"Wife,"I said, almost pleading, this is not me but for her I will bend on my knees.
"Please stop calling me wife, I am not your wife anymore", she said.
"But that's my daughter", I've said.
"Who cares if she's your daughter or not, I am the mother so I will be the one to decide kung sino ang makakasama ko sa panganganak", she said.
Damn her words are like a dagger on my heart.
"Okay fine, you win", I said as I raised both of my hands.
One last glimpse then I left without saying anything.
Saktong pagbukas ko ng pintuan ay bumungad sa akin ang mga magulang ng asawa ko.
I just smiled at them.
Naramdaman ko naman ang pag tapik sa balikat ko ng daddy ng asawa ko.
"Oh ikaw lang pinalabas?", her mom asked me.
"Yes tita, galit eh", I've said.
Mayamaya pa ay nakita ko nang may pumasok na doctor kung nasaan ang asawa ko kaya agad akong napatayo.
Bigla na lamang akong pinagpawisan sa di ko malaman na dahilan.
"Hey calm down", her dad said to me.
Rinig ko naman ang pagtawa ni tita.
"damn I remember you to him", tita said while pointing at me.
Mayamaya pa ay may lumabas na nurse galing sa kwarto nang asawa ko kaya lahat kami napatayo.
"How's my daughter?"I heard tita asked the nurse.
" Congratulations po It's a healthy baby girl", the nurse said.
After that it all went black.
Nagising ako sa mahinang pag tapik sa aking pisngi.
"Hey you passed out", my wife's mom said.
"Ahh I'm sorry po", I've said sabay kamot sa batok ko.
She only smiled at me.
"It was fine, ganiyan din reaction ng asawa ko ng malaman niya na babae ang anak namin. ", she said.
"Anyway let's go inside, I'm sure anytime now Daphne will wake up", she said.
"Ahh hindi na po tita, kayo na lang po pumasok. Baka mas lalong magalit eh", I've said.
Kita ko naman ang pagkawala ng ngiti niya.
"Intindihin mo na lang muna ang anak ko ah, huwag mo iwan", she said.
"Hindi ko naman po tita iiwan, hindi ko kaya buhay ko yan eh", I've said.
Mayamaya pa ay pumasok na silang mag asawa ngunit iniwan nilang nakabukas ang pintuan kaya tanaw ko pa din sila kahit nasa labas lamang ako.
Kita ko rin na hanggang ngayon ay tulog pa din ang asawa ko.
Mukhang pagod na pagod ah.
Napalingon ako sa cellphone ko nang tumunog ito my dad is calling me.
Kaya agad ko itong sinagot.
"Hello dad", I've said.
"Hey son, congrats, I'm sorry ngayon ko lang nabasa yung text mo. Kaya pala I saw your mom crying.", he said that made me smile.
"Thank you dad, I'm sorry I can't let you see my daughter kase galit pa din", I've said.
Rinig ko naman ang pagtawa ni daddy sa kabilang linya.
"It's okay son by the way I need to end the call now", he said.
"Sure dad", I've said.
Matapos ang tawag ay agad akong lumingon sa kung nasaan ang asawa ko at nakita kong gising na ito.
Hindi naman nagtagal ay nakita ko na ang nurse na dala ang anak namin ni Daphne.
Agad naman akong tumayo upang tingnan ito.
Pinanood ko kung pano ibigay ng nurse ang anak namin sa asawa ko.
Damn those smiles on her lips, kaya ako nahuhulog lalo eh.
Agad kong binuksan ang phone ko at kinuhanan silang dalawa ng litrato at muling bumalik sa pagkakaupo ko.
Muli kong tinignan ang larawan na kuha ko, na nagpangiti sa akin. I make it as my wallpaper.
Finally I have my own family now. I'll do everything para mapatawad niya ako.
Tumayo muna ako para salubungin ang secretary kong dala-dala ang pina order kong pagkain mula sa isang sikat na restaurant.
Pagbalik ko ay naabutan kong bini breastfeed na ng asawa ko ang anak namin. Kita ko pa ang pagtalikod niya ng pumasok ako.
Sus nakita ko na yan eh, bakit kailangan pang tumalikod.
"Iho, I thought you already left", bulong ng mommy ng asawa ko.
"Nahh, I can't leave mom", I've said at agad na nilapitan ang asawa ko na hanggang ngayon ay nakatalikod pa din sa akin.
Dahan-dahan kong pinalibot ang isang kamay ko sa may tiyan niya para yakapin silang dalawa ng anak ko. Hindi pa ako nakontento at agad na pinatong ang baba ko sa may balikat ng asawa ko.
Hinalikan ko din ang noo niya at inabot gamit ang isang kamay ko ang kamay ng anak ko na nagpangiti sa akin.
Damn ang liit ng kamay eh.
"No doubt, she's my daughter", I've said that made her roll her eyes at me .
"What's her name?", I've asked.
"Laurel Marquez", she said, soon she will be a Halston.
"Oh you have the same name. Laurel, which is Daphne in Greek", I said as I smiled.
"She's pretty", I said as I looked at our daughter.
"Of course I am her mother duhh", she said na nagpangisi sa akin.
"Okay you win", I've said.
Hindi naman nagtagal ay natapos na siyang i-breastfeed ang anak namin kaya tumayo na din ako ng makita kong dahan-dahan niyang hiniga ang anak namin sa hospital bed.
"Can we talk?", I asked her.
"Sure, why not. I also wanted to settle things with you. I don't want Lucien to overthink about this", she said.
Okay na sana eh, bakit niya naman minention yung pangalan ng lalaking yun.
"About that, kung ikaw ang mahal niya, bakit wala siya dito", I've said.
"Why do you care, I thought we're going to talk about us", she said.
Sabagay ano bang pakialam ko, sino ba naman ako sa buhay niya hyst.
"I care because I love you and I know na sa aming dalawa ako ang may karapatan sa iyo at sa anak natin", I've said as a matter of fact.
"Funny ka, for your information you already lost me months ago", she said.
"It's because you left me, you ran away from me. If only you listened to me", I've said.
"That's all I'm asking is for you to listen to me but what did you do? You pushed me away.", I've said.
"You said that I should go on my business trip to another country even though I told you I didn't want to, but because you said it, I can't do anything but follow it. Even if you order me to jump off a cliff, I will do it without hesitation because I love you", I've said as my tears run down from my eyes.
Tangina pagdating sa kanya ang hina-hina ko. Pagdating sa kanya ang bilis kong umiyak parang di lalaki eh amputa.
Natigilan ako ng makita ko ang pagiyak niya.
Wala na akong nagawang tama, lagi ko na lang siyang napapaiyak hindi ko alam kung tama pa bang humingi ako ng isa pang pagkakataon sa kaniya.
Naglakad ako palapit sa kaniya at inabutan siya ng tubig dahan-dahan ko ring pinunasan ang luha niya.
"I'm sorry, hush, stop crying", I said as I kissed her forehead.
"I'm sorry for bursting out. I'm sorry for not controlling my emotions, you should rest, let's talk again some other time", I've said.
"Take a rest now, wife, don't think too much", I've said as I walk away from her.
But before I could open the door I said something that made her cry again.
"You may or may not give me another chance. I will still court you. I don't care if you choose him in the end, at least I tried my luck and I will not live for regrets and what ifs. Just in case you choose him at the end, please know that if he hurts you, you can always come back to me and I will welcome you with my arms wide open. No matter what could be the ending of all of this, I will accept it wholeheartedly.", I've said as a matter of fact.
Tatanggapin ko kung siya man ang pipiliin niya sa huli. Pero hangga't alam kong may pag-asa pa hindi ako mapapagod na suyuin siya ng paulit-ulit at mag-aantay ako hanggang sa pakinggan niya na ako at bigyan ng isa pang pagkakataon.
Ilang araw na din matapos na makalabas ng ospital si Daphne at simula nun ay hindi ko na siya tinantanan pa.
Agad ko na siyang niligawan, walang araw din na lumipas na hindi ko siya pinadalhan ng bulaklak.
Madalas na din akong pumupunta sa bahay nila dito sa Palawan, upang tingnan kung ayos lamang ba sila gusto ko ding alagaan ang anak ko.
Sa tuwing pumupunta ako ay hindi man lang ako tinitignan ng asawa ko, ni maski kausapin ay hindi niya magawa.
Katulad na lamang ngayon nasa kwarto siya habang ako na man ay inaalagaan ang anak namin dito sa sala.
Nawala ako sa iniisip ko nang marinig ko ang pag iyak ng anak namin.
"Why is my baby crying?"I asked her as I carried her.
"Hush now my princess", I've said as I slowly wipe her tears.
"Mommy, what are you doing?, our baby is hungry",I've said habang dahan-dahan kinakatok ang pintuan ng kwarto.
"Nothing, come in", she said.
Slowly I opened the door and there she was on their bed looking as gorgeous as ever.
Agad kong inabot ang anak namin sa kanya dahil hindi na ito matigil sa kakaiyak.
"I'm here, baby hushed", she whispered nang mabuhat niya na ang anak namin.
I was busy looking at the both of them, kaya hindi ko namalayan ang pagbato ng asawa ko sa akin ng unan, sumakto pa ito sa mukha ko. Rinig ko pa ang pagtawa niya.
Napakadadista talaga hyst.
"Stop staring", she said as she rolled her eyes on me.
"Sungit", nakangusong sabi ko.
"Nakita ko naman na yan, ako pa nga na una niyan eh", bulong ko na alam kong narinig niya.
"May sinasabi ka", may diin na pagkakasabi niya.
"Wala", I've said sabay upo ko sa may tabi niya at pinunasan ang mga luha sa pisngi ng anak namin na ngayon ay tahimik na lamang na dumidede.
"She got my eyes", I've said.
"Yupp", she said.
Hindi nagtagal ay nakatulog na ang anak namin. Kaya kinuha ko na ito at inilagay sa crib niya. Hinalikan ko muna ang noo ng anak namin bago ko ito tuluyang hiniga sa crib.
Ramdam ko naman ang tingin sa akin ng asawa ko.
Matapos kong ihiga ang anak namin ay agad akong lumapit sa asawa ko at niyakap siya.
Naramdaman ko rin ang pagkagulat niya ngunit hindi ko na lamang ito pinansin sa halip ay isiniksik ko ang mukha ko sa may leeg niya.
I was waiting for her to push me away but she didn't.
"Finally", I've said.
"Finally, what?", She asked me.
"I'm home after one year and one months of being alone", I've said that made her gasp.
"I miss you so much wife", I've said.
I was about to kiss her when the sound of the door opening stopped us.
"Daphne, can you taste this cake that I bake", Lyra said.
I was just looking at my wife. Damn we almost kissed.
"Ayy shit!, gagi sorry sa istorbo sa bebe time niyo", she said at agad ng lumabas ng kwarto. Muntikan pa siyang madapa dahil sa pagmamadali niya.
My wife is avoiding my eyes huh. I saw how she closed her eyes.
I was about to say sorry when my phone rang.
Agad ko itong kinuha sa bulsa ko at pinatay ang tawag ng hindi tinitignan kung sino ang tumawag sa akin.
"Hindi mo ba sasagutin yan?"She asked me while she glanced at our daughter who's sleeping peacefully.
"What's with your smile?"I asked her.
"It's none of your business", she said.
"Woah, changed mood agad", bulong ko.
"Ano pa bang ginagawa mo dito, umalis ka na nga tulog na yung anak ko. ", she said.
"I just want to spend time with you", mahinang sabi ko.
"Can't you just f*cking leave", she said through gritted teeth.
"Okay, okay, I leave now then", I said as I kissed her forehead.
Dire-diretso akong lumabas ng bahay nila.
I can't wait for the day you will never push me away again. If that day comes I'll promise, I will always stay by your side even if you push me away.
Akmang sasakay na ako sa kotse ko ng may tumawag sa akin.
"Hey Apollo", Stephanie said.
"Hey Step", I've said.
"It's been a while since I saw you huh, still the handsome Apollo", she said na inilingan ko naman.
"Why are you here?", I've asked.
"Vacation I guess", she said as she shrugged her shoulders.
"oh right", I've said.
"Pa hug", she said at agad akong niyakap na nagpagulat sa akin.
"Hey hug me back please, don't worry I have a bf na so hindi na ikaw yung gusto ko. I just want to hug you for the last time before I go to America", she said kaya dahan-dahan kong niyakap siya.
Naitulak ko si Stephanie nang magkatinginan kami ng asawa ko.
F*ck!
Mula sa kinatatayuan ko ay kitang-kita ko ang pag-iling niya na tila disappointed siya.
Damn baby you're thinking wrong. Without a second thought I started running towards my wife.
She was about to get inside when I stopped her by holding her hand.
"Wife", I've said, ramdam ko ang panlalamig ng mga kamay ko.
Pucha sino hindi manlalamig kung makikita mo yung asawa mo na nakatanaw sa inyo habang may kayakap kang ibang babae.
I know that it's wrong but for me it's only a friendly hug.
Naramdaman ko naman ang pagtulak niya sa akin palayo.
"Putang*na just for once Apollo umalis ka na. I don't want to play your games anymore. Stop playing with my feelings. One moment you told me your in love with me tapos ngayon makikita kitang may kayakap na babae. You know what, if you're torn between me and her, you can choose her. And I will assure you that me and my daughter can survive without you by our side.", she said, damn her words are really a dagger into my heart.
"Wife, huwag naman ganito", I've said habang pilit na inaabot ang kamay niya.
Tang*na hindi ko kaya to.
"No, if you want her then chased her. Hindi kita pipigilan na piliin siya. Kung iniisip mo yung anak natin, sige hindi kita pipigilan na lapitan siya pero ito lang ang masasabi ko hinding-hindi na ako babalik sayo", she said.
"Daphne mahal kita, huwag naman ganito", garalgal ang boses na sabi ko.
Kita ko naman ang pag-iling niya.
"Umalis ka na, mukhang hinahanap ka na ng girlfriend mo", she said sabay tingin kay Stephanie.
"Hindi, hindi ko siya girlfriend. Ikaw lang mahal ko", I've said, hoping she will believe me. .
"Hayaan mo na kami ng anak ko, kaya ko siyang buhayin ng wala ang tulong mo. Huwag ka mag-alala hindi ko siya pababayaan, pwede naman tayong magco-parenting eh", she said.
co-parenting my ass, I don't want that kind of relationship. I want her to be my wife, not just the mother of my child.
"Ayoko nun, pag-usapan natin to wife", I've said.
"Masakit din to para sa akin pero pinirmahan ko na Apollo, parang awa mo na bumalik ka na sa girlfriend mo. Umalis ka na dito hindi ito ang tahanan mo", she said.
"Hindi, pinunit ko yun kaya asawa mo pa rin ako at asawa pa din kita. At tsaka kayo ng anak natin ang tahanan ko.", I've said.
"Naalala mo ba nung kinasal tayo, di ba hindi mo naman ako mahal nun. Tanda ko pa nga yung sinabi mo sa akin noon eh. Di ba sabi mo You'll make sure that I will regret marrying you pero hindi ko alam kahit anong gawin ko hindi ko mahanap yung pagsisi na sinasabi mo", she said na nagpatahimik sa akin.
Sa halip na sumagot ay hinila ko na lamang siya palapit sa akin at niyakap ng mahigpit. Siniksik ko din ang mukha ko sa may leeg niya.
"Sa kabila ng sakit na naramdaman ko simula ng mahalin kita, wala akong makapa na pagsisisi. Kase alam ko sa sarili ko na naging masaya ako nung kinasal tayo kahit na sa maikling panahon lamang iyon", she said na mas lalong nagpaiyak sa akin.
"Pag-usapan natin to", I've said at mas lalong hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap kaniya.
Ramdam ko naman ang pag-iling niya.
"Wala na tayong dapat pag-usapan. Siguro kaya mo nasasabi na mahal mo ako dahil sumuko na ako sayo", she said na nag pailing sa akin.
"Hindi ganun yun, totoong mahal kita. Huwag mo naman akong itulak palayo.Hirap na hirap na ako mahal. Tama na yung isang taon na iniwan mo ko, bumalik na kayo sa akin.", I said, almost begging her.
Umiling naman siya.
"I'm sorry but I can't risk my heart again to you", she said.
Slowly she reached for my face and tried to remove the tears on my face.
"Di ba hindi mo naman ako mahal that's why I want you to choose her. I want you to be happy even if it is not with me anymore. Huwag ka mag-alala hindi ko ipagdadamot ang anak natin sayo.", She said.
"Putang*na patayin mo na lang ako", I've said that made her gasp.
I'd rather die than seeing you being married to another man.
Mayamaya pa ay lumayo na ako sa kanya at hinalikan ang noo niya.
"You should rest", I've said at agad ko siyang binuhat papasok ng bahay.
Napapikit na lamang ako ng matanaw ko ang mga magulang niya at si Lyra na nakatingin sa amin.
"Im sorry dad, mom, for making your daughter cry again", I've said sabay yuko ng ulo ko.
Tang*na nakakahiya lagi ko na lang napapaiyak ang anak nila.
Naramdaman ko naman ang pagtapik sa balikat ko ng daddy ng asawa ko.
Matapos nun ay inakyat ko na sa kwarto ang asawa ko at dahan-dahan siyang ihiniga sa kama.
"Take a rest now, wife", I've said.
"I'm sorry for making you cry again", I've said habang pinupunasan ang pisngi niya.
Lumapit muna ako sa anak namin upang halikan ito sa noo bago muling lumabas ng kwarto ng asawa ko.
Saktong pagbaba ko ay naabutan ko pa ang mga magulang ng asawa ko na nakaupo sa sofa.
"Apollo, can we talk for a while?", my wife's father said.
"Yeah sure", I've said at agad ng naupo sa may sofa.
"So what's your plan now?", he asked.
Hmm my plan is for Daphne to let me in, in her life again.
" To be honest dad, I want my wife back. But right now I think she's not ready yet. But I'm trying to earn her trust again", I've said.
" You know what son I think you should give her space for now. I mean I really like you for my daughter but seeing her crying because of you, I can't stand it. ", he said.
"I'm sorry for that dad, but trust me it wasn't my intention to make her cry", I've said.
"Do you believe in the saying where if two people are meant to be together, they will eventually find their way back into each other's arms, no matter what?", he asked me.
"I believe in that saying pero di ba tayo lang din naman ang gumagawa ng tadhana natin, so I don't get it why some people still wait for destiny to make it happen when in fact they were the ones who's responsible for it", I've said.
"Hmm my point ka pero wala namang masama di ba kung aantayin mo ang tadhana na muli kayong pagtagpuin", he said.
"I'm sorry dad but I won't wait for destiny for us to meet again if I can do it on my own.", I've said.
" Son listen as a father I want you to let go my daughter, I want you to set her free. I can't stand seeing her crying everyday because of you. ", he said.
"I'm begging you, let my daughter have her peace of mind, okay na siya eh, bumabalik na yung saya niya then you showed up after that she's back to zero again", he said that made me gasp.
It felt like I'm a thorn in her.
Everyone was telling me to let her go, to set her free as if it was easy to make. When the fact is, it's not.
Setting her free will be my death.
With or without a chance I will still court her, I will still take my chance.
Whether I will be happy or hurt in the end as long as I did my best to take her back again then I'll be happy.
"I'm sorry too dad but I will never set her free even if you hate me. ", I've said at agad ng tumayo para makalabas ng bahay.
Saktong pagbukas ko ng pintuan ay bumungad sa akin si Lucien.
"Hey man", he said.
"Can we talk?", I've asked.
"Yeah sure", he said.
Kaya agad na akong naglakad papunta sa may dalampasigan.
"To be honest I don't believe that you have a thing with my wife", I've said.
"Wow grabe naman sa word na "thing", he said.
"So what if we have? I think it's okay since you know", he said na nagpakunot ng noo ko.
"I don't care if you have a thing, I will still pursue her anyway but if ever she chooses you in the end please take care of my wife and my child ", I've said.
"Of course I will give the love that Daphne deserves and for your daughter I will love her as if she was mine", he said.
"I'm glad to hear that but if you ever hurt her I will not think twice taking her away from you.", I've said at tinapik ang balikat niya bago ako tuluyang umalis para bumalik sa hotel.
Nang makabalik ako sa hotel ay agad na akong dumiretso sa higaan ko.
Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na ako.
Nagising na lamang ako ng bandang ala sais na ng gabi. Agad akong dumiretso sa may dalampasigan habang may dala-dalang alak.
This is what I need after a tiring day I guess. Today was tiring for me andaming nangyari.
Luckily mataas ang alcohol tolerance ko dahil halos isang oras na akong umiinom dito pero hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa din ramdam ang epekto ng alak.
It was exactly 7:00pm when I heard voices ilang hakbang mula sa kinauupuan ko.
Kaya agad ko itong nilingon and there she is my wife happily dancing. The song was Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON.
She was with Lucien and lyra.
She was so happy. That smile on her face I've been longing to see.
Slowly I reached for my phone and I took a picture of her. I also took a video of her dancing.
While taking a video I realized something that made me stop the video and let my phone on the sand.
Those smiles on her lips are not for me anymore and I will never be the reason for her smile again because I've already lost my chance.
Maybe they were right, I should have let her go. Looking back all I did was to made her cry and now that she's happy tama pa bang agawin ko yun sa kaniya?
Yung karapatan niyang maging masaya, tama pa bang hadlangan ko?
Siguro ito na rin yung sign para tigilan ko na siya dahil wala naman akong matinong nagagawa sa kaniya kundi ang saktan at paiyakin lamang siya.
Siguro hindi talaga kami ang para sa isa't-isa and all I need is to accept that.
About my daughter, I think she will understand this someday.
I hope so.
Hindi ko na namalayan na patuloy na pala sa pagtulo ang mga luha ko.
Damn I'm a guy but I keep on crying when it comes to her.
I was just watching her while she was happy with them.
This will be the last time I guess, tomorrow I'll be back in Manila.
I will set her free now. I can't watch her crying because of me.
I will trade anything just to see her smile again even if it's my own happiness.
Okay lang na ako na lang ang masaktan wag lang siya. Sobra sobra na yung sakit na naiparamdam ko sa kanya. Deserve niya maging masaya kahit kapalit nun ay sakit naman para sa akin.
When the song ended, nakita ko silang sabay sabay na nahiga na nagpatawa sa akin.
Damn I'm like an idiot here.
Slowly I stood up ready to leave the place when suddenly me and my wife made eye contact, damn not now.
Agad akong tumalikod at sinubukang maglakad palayo.
"Apollo!", pasigaw na tawag niya sa akin ngunit hindi ko siya nilingon.
Shit not now that my tears can't stop from falling.
"Apollo!", muli niyang pagsigaw ngunit sa pangalawang pagkakataon ay hindi ko siya nilingon.
"Hubby!", sigaw niya sa pangatlong pagkakataon na nagpatigil sa akin at agad siyang nilingon.
I saw her looking at me as if she was observing me.
Nagulat na lamang ako ng tinakbo niya ang distansya namin at bigla na lamang na pinulupot ang kamay niya sa may leeg ko at ang mga paa niya naman ay pinalibot sa bewang ko. Na nagpatigil sa akin pero ng matauhan ay agad kong inayos ang pagkakahawak ko sa kanya.
"Why are you crying?", she asked me as she wiped my tears.
Sa halip na sagutin ay hinila ko na lamang siyang muli at niyakap ng mahigpit.
"If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up anymore. I'm dying to hold you like this.", I said as I kissed her cheeks.
Agad ko ring isinubsob ang mukha ko sa may dibdib niya.
Mayamaya pa ay inaya niya akong maupo sa may dalampasigan kaya dahan-dahan akong naglakad at naupo sa buhangin bago ko siya inupo sa may kandungan ko.
Susulitin ko na to habang nasa akin siya ngayon.
Katahimikan ang namayani sa aming dalawa.
"Alam mo may narealize ako", I've said ng hindi ko na matiis ang katahimikan, agad naman siyang humarap sa akin.
"Siguro tama sila, na dapat huwag na kitang habulin dahil masaya ka na. Tignan mo tuloy palagi ka na lang umiiyak ng dahil sakin.", I've said.
"Alam mo nung nakita kita kanina na sumasayaw kasama siya, narealize ko na hindi ka magiging ganun kasaya kapag na sa akin ka. Puro sakit lang mabibigay ko sayo.", I've said.
"Kanina habang pinagmamasdan kitang sumayaw kasama siya narealize ko na kahit kailan, hindi ko na mararanasan yun dahil sinayang ko yung pagkakataon na binigay mo.", I said to her that made her cry.
"Iba yung saya mo, pagkasama mo siya. Pag ako kase yung kasama mo palagi kang umiiyak, hindi mo ko matignan kahit isang segundo lang sana tapos palagi ka pang nakasimangot sa tuwing nakikita mo ko. Kaya hindi ko mapigilan na isipin kung tama pa bang hinahabol kita kung ang totoo naman ay masaya ka na", mahinang sabi ko.
"Wait, nagsisisi ka ba?", she asked me.
"Syempre hindi, hindi ko pagsisisihan na hinahabol kita ngayon. Hindi rin ako nagsisi na minahal kita. About naman sa pagtrato mo sa akin. Okay lang yun, deserve ko yun huwag ka sanang maguilty. Gusto ko lang ilabas yung nararamdaman ko.", I've said.
"I'm sorry", she said.
"Huwag ka mag sorry sakin, dapat ako ang mag sorry sayo",I've said to her.
"Sorry if you think that I don't love you. Sorry for making you feel like an unwanted wife. Believe me it wasn't my intention to treat you like that",I've said as I wiped her tears.
"Tang*na umiiyak ka na naman ng dahil sakin.", I said, feeling guilty for making her cry.
Matapos naming mag usap ng asawa ko ay muli na akong bumalik sa hotel na tinutuluyan ko para ayusin ang mga gamit na dadalhin ko sa pag alis ko.
After that I decided to sleep but I don't know what's happening to me because I can't sleep.
Ni hindi ako dinadalaw ng antok kaya napag desisyonan kong magtungo sa bahay ng asawa ko.
Luckily bukas pa ang ilaw sa sala ng bahay nila kaya sigurado akong may gising pa.
Agad akong kumatok sa pintuan at bumungad sa akin si Lyra na may dala-dalang kape.
“oh your here”, she said at agad na akong pinapasok.
“Ah tulog na ba sila Daphne?”, I asked.
Nagkibit naman siya ng balikat at tinuro sakin ang hagdan.
“You can check on her if you want”, she said kaya agad na akong nagtungo sa kwarto ng asawa ko.
And there she is sleeping peacefully katabi ang anak namin. Dahan-dahan akong naglakad palapit sa kanila.
“I'm gonna miss you both”, mahinang bulong ko bago ko sila hinalikan pareho sa noo.
Looking at the both of them I've realized that I lost the family that I've been dreaming of.
I failed to keep them in my life.
When the sun started rising ay agad na akong tumayo mula sa kinauupuan ko at sa huling pagkakataon ay hinalikan ang magina ko sa noo nila.
Be happy even without me in your life. I guess I will love you both in a far. No matter what happens I will always be here supporting and cheering for the both of you silently.
“I love you both”, mahinang bulong ko bago ako tuluyang lumabas ng kwarto.
Mukhang tulog pa silang lahat kaya dahan-dahan akong lumabas ng bahay sakto naman na nakita ko si Lucien.
“Hey”, I've said, agad niya naman akong nilingon.
“Wow I didn't know that you're an early bird”, he said.
“Actually I didn't sleep. Can you please give this to my wife.”, I've said sabay abot ko ng letter na sinulat ko.
“Hindi ko kayang magpaalam ng personal sa kanya baka umiyak na naman. Anyway paki alagaan ang magina ko ah, huwag mo sasaktan ang asawa ko at yung anak ko.”, mahinang sabi ko.
“Gago iiwan mo talaga”, he said.
“Pakisabi na rin sa asawa ko na kahit wag niya na akong ipakilala sa anak namin”, I've said.
“Gago ka ba”, he said.
Nagkibit lamang ako ng balikat bago umalis sa harapan niya.
“Alam mo bang mas lalong masasaktan si Daphne nito”, I heard him shouted.
Yeah I'm sure but I know time will come makakalimutan niya din ako.
Natulog lamang ako sa eroplano.
Nang makarating sa maynila ay agad akong dumiretso sa bahay ng mga magulang ko.
I know that my mom is still mad at me but right now all I need is her.
I can't handle this pain that I've been feeling.
Tama nga sila na kahit na lumaki ka man o mag-asawa ka man ay kailangan mo pa din ang kalinga ng iyong mga magulang.
Nang marating ko ang bahay ng mga magulang ko ay natanaw ko agad si mommy na nagdidilig ng mga halaman niya.
I don't know what's happening to me but when I saw my mom looking at me my tears started to fall.
“Mom”, I've said.
Patakbong lumapit sa akin si mommy.
“Son”, she said at agad akong niyakap.
“God I miss you so much”, she said as I felt her kiss my forehead.
“Mom, I failed to keep them in my life, I'm sorry”, I said as I slowly bent my knees on the ground.
Mayamaya pa ay lumuhod din si mommy sa harapan ko at agad akong niyakap habang umiiyak.
“Hush anak, I'm sorry hindi ko alam na ganito na pala kabigat ang dinadala mo”, she said as she wiped my tears.
“Mom I love her but I can't make her stay with me. I can't even keep her”, I've said.
One week had passed and all I did was to stay at my parents house and get drunk.
Being away with my wife and my daughter wasn't easy at all. There are times where I want to go back and take them with me no matter what it takes.
But remembering how my wife cried begging me to let her go I can't help but to back out.
I don't want her to be caged on to me, if she's not happy with me anymore all I can do is to let her go even if it will hurt me in the end.
After all the pain that she's been through, she deserved to be happy.
It was Monday when I decided to go out, I went to the golden bar. Because until now I'm still hurting and I don't know when this pain will stop.
Dahil umaga pa lamang ay wala pa masyadong tao.
Mas okay na to dahil mas nakakapagisip-isip ako.
Hindi ko na namalayan ang oras dahil patuloy lamang ako sa pag inom.
Unti-unti nang dumadating ang mga tao at natanaw ko na din ang dalawang ugok kong kaibigan na ngayon ay papalapit na kung na saan ako.
“Hey man”, they both said tinanguan ko lamang sila.
Agad silang napalingon sa lamesa ko na puno na ng mga bote ng alak dahil kanina pa kong umaga umiinom.
I know that being drunk will not help me solve my problems but it will help me forget for a moment.
“what the f*ck”, I heard Oliver say when he saw the bottles on my table.
“Shit!”, I heard chronos say.
“What, I just want to be drunk, I want to forget for a moment”,I've said.
Natahimik kami ng ilang minuto at mayamaya pa ay parehas na silang may hawak na alak.
“So what happened?”Oliver said.
“I f*cked up big time”, I said.
“She hates me, she doesn't want me anymore. I can't forget the way she begged me to let her go.”, pagkwento ko habang umiiyak.
“tang*na pagdating sa kaniya ang hina-hina ko lagi na lang ako umiiyak parang di lalaki amputa.”, mahinang sabi ko habang natatawa.
Mayamaya pa ay naramdaman ko ang sabay nilang pagtapik sa akin.
You know what, we men can cry too. F*ck society and the people who invalidate our feelings. Hindi porket lalaki ay hindi na nasasaktan, tao lang din naman tayo.
Ramdam ko na ang hilo at umaalon na din ang pagtingin ko ngunit patuloy pa rin ako sa pag inom.
Mayamaya pa ay nag aya ng umuwi si Oliver kaya agad na rin akong tumayo sa kinauupuan ko.
“sumabay ka na sa amin”, Chronos said but I declined it.
“Nah I can drive”, I've said habang umaayos ng tayo dahil hilong-hilo na ko.
Ramdam ko na din ang pagikot ng paligid ko ngunit nagpatuloy lamang ako sa paglalakad.
Nang makarating sa kotse ay agad akong pumasok, sinubukan pa kong pigilan ng mga kaibigan ko ngunit nagtuloy-tuloy lamang ako.
Agad kong pinaharurot paalis ang kotse na sinasakyan ko.
Hindi naman nagtagal ay dinig ko ang pag ring ng cellphone ko ngunit hinayaan ko lamang ito.
Binuksan ko din ang mga bintana nito at hinayaan na makapasok ang hangin.
As I was driving I could feel my eyes getting blurry, I don't know if it was because of the tears or maybe because of the alcohol.
“F*ck this life”, I've shouted while driving faster.
I just want to die. I thought getting drunk would help me forget the pain for a while but it gave me flashbacks of how my wife begged me to let her go and how happy she was as she danced with that man.
While driving faster all I can see is my wife getting happy without me in her life.
I wonder if I die right now, will she go to my funeral?
Would she even care if something bad happened to me? I bet not.
Isn't it funny how one person can change, one moment they care for you and another moment they don't anymore.
As time passed by I could feel my eyes getting blurry to the point that I couldn't even see the road already.
If this will be my last day, I will die happily. Because I know that my wife and my daughter are in good hands now.
I just hope that she will forget me after this.
I know that she will move on from me. No matter if I'm alive or not I know that she can love even if it's not me anymore.
The last thing that I knew ay bumangga ang minamaneho kong kotse.
And before I close my eyes my phone rings again, and guess what the caller was my wife.
For the last time I smiled, I guess my wife still cares for me or maybe not. After that it all went black.
I was asleep when I heard someone murmuring something but I can't even hear the word that she's saying.
It was like she was talking to me or maybe to someone.
I don't know what's happening to me but it was hard opening my eyes. I can't even move my body.
Slowly I tried to open my eyes and move one of my fingers.
Bumungad sa akin ang mukha ng isang babaeng umiiyak habang nakatitig sa akin.
I don't even know her but the way she cries maybe she knows me and I don't know why but it hurts seeing those tears on her eyes.
Nagulat ako ng bigla niya akong yakapin at siniksik niya pa ang mukha niya sa may leeg ko.
“Finally you're awake”, she said.
“Tinakot mo ko”, umiiyak na sabi niya, ramdam ko rin ang paghigpit niya ng yakap sakin.
Mayamaya pa ay bumukas ang pintuan.
“You're awake”,Chronos said bago muling sinarado ang pintuan na nagpataka sa akin.
What does that mean “I'm awake”?
Mayamaya pa ay may pumasok na doctor tsaka ko lamang na realize na nasa hospital ako.
After the doctor check on me, I look at the girl who hugged me earlier.
To be honest I don't know her but my heart aches when I saw her crying while hugging me.
“Who's that girl?”, I've asked.
Nakita ko naman ang panlalaki ng mata ni Chronos.
“She's your wife”, Chronos said.
“The f*ck bro, I don't have a wife”, I said in a cold voice.
Since when did I get married.
“Stop playing around Apollo”,Oliver said.
“I'm not playing, I was just stating the fact”, I said.
“Gago umayos ka, kapag iniwan ka na naman niyan ewan ko na lang sayo”, Oliver said at mahinang tinapik ang balikat ko.
Pano naman ako iiwan niyan eh hindi ko nga yan kilala mahinang bulong ko.
“Anyway, where's Stephanie?”I asked but no one answered me.
“I'm glad your awake now, miss ka na namin ng anak natin”, the girl said at akma akong yayakapin nang magsalita ako na nagpatigil sa kaniya.
“Excuse me miss but who are you?, kanina mo pa ko niyayakap eh. Baka makita ka ng girlfriend ko, magalit yun sakin”, I've said.
“If you're just playing with me, can you please stop. It's not funny anymore”, she said as I heard her crying.
“What are you talking about?, I don't know you miss”, I said.
Kita ko naman ang pagkakatulala niya, narinig ko rin ang pagsinghap ni Oliver at Chronos.
“If you're just one of the desperate b*tches, who wants my money. Then I'm sorry because I already have a girlfriend and you're not my type”, I've said.
“Apollo!”, sabay na pagsigaw ni Oliver at Chronos.
“Did you just call me b*tch”, she said at sinamaan ako ng tingin.
Akma na akong sasagot ng bumukas ang pintuan.
And finally my girlfriend was here.
“Hey!, buhay ka pa pala”, Stephanie said.
“Of course love”,I've said at hinalikan ang kaniyang noo.
Hinila ko rin siya palapit sa akin at tsaka ko niyakap ang kamay ko sa may bewang niya.
I was back hugging her. Siniksik ko rin ang mukha ko sa may leeg niya.
Naramdaman ko naman ang pilit niyang paglayo kaya mas lalo kong hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap ko sa kaniya.
“Uhm, alis na ako”, the girl said at agad ng lumabas.
Hinayaan ko na lamang ito at tinuon ang pansin ko kay Stephanie, damn so pretty.
“What are you doing Apollo?”Stephanie said.
“come on love, what are you saying?”, I asked.
“hindi ko alam kung nawalan ka ba talaga ng alala or your just doing this for revenge to your wife, since she left you”, she said.
“Come on love, I don't have a wife unless it's you”, I said.
“You know what kung hindi pa ko nakaka move on sayo for sure kikiligin ako sa mga sinasabi mo ngayon, but I'm sorry cause I already move on from you”, she said that made me confused.
“Why are you saying this, you know it hurts here”, I've said sabay turo sa puso ko.
“Why won't you believe me, you're the only one I can remember not her.”, mahinang sabi ko.
“I'm trying my best to remember my memories but no matter how I try I just can't.” I've said.
“Hyst, you know what play your cards right Apollo before it's too late and for your information I am not your girlfriend.”, Stephanie said.
“sige lang, try harder to push me away because I'll never leave you, no matter what you say”, I've said.
“bahala ka sa buhay mo”, she said that made me laugh.
Morning came at bumungad sa akin si Stephanie.
“Good morning love”, I've said.
Kita ko naman ang pagkunot ng noo niya.
“Hey where's my good morning too?”, I've said.
“tang*na para kang bata”, she said.
“hoy good morning lang hinihingi ko, huwag mo ipagkait", I've said at hinila siya pahiga sa kama.
Rinig sa buong kwarto ang pagtawa niya ng kilitiin ko siya.
Natigil lamang kaming dalawa ng bumukas ang pintuan and guess what it was the girl from yesterday.
“What are you doing here?”, kunot-noong tanong ko.
“Visiting you, I guess?”, she said.
Ramdam kong gustong tumayo ni Stephanie mula sa pagkakahiga kaya hinigpitan ko lalo ang pagkakayakap ko sa kaniya.
“Dito ko lang”, bulong ko kay Stephanie.
“Don't treat her like that, I'll go outside first so both of you can talk”, Stephanie said as she planted a kiss on my forehead.
“There's nothing to talk about, I don't even know her”, I've said.
Kita ko naman ang pagnguso ni Stephanie sa may kamay ko kaya agad ko itong tinignan. And there I saw a ring.
“She's your wife Apollo”, Stephanie said.
Agad ko naman itong inalis at nilagay sa ibabaw ng lamesa, malapit sa hinihigaan ko.
Mayamaya pa ay tuluyan na nga na lumabas si Stephanie at naiwan kaming dalawa.
“So what do you really want?”, I asked her.
“Gusto nga lang kitang bisitahin”, she said.
“Is it true that we're married?, I've asked.
Dahan-dahan naman siyang tumango.
“Then we should have an annulment”, agad na sabi ko.
“Do you really want this?”, she asked me.
Agad naman akong tumango.
“Of course I want it, how can I be married to my girlfriend if I'm already married to you”, I've said and I can see in her eyes that she's hurting. .
“Wait a minute I will just call my lawyer”, I've said at agad kong kinuha ang cellphone ko.
Matapos ang tawag ay pareho kaming natahimik.
Isang oras lamang ang inantay namin bago dumating ang lawyer ko.
When I saw the paper, I felt my heart clench.
Ngunit ipinagsawalang bahala ko na lamang ito at agad ng pinirmahan ang annulment paper namin.
This is it, I can finally marry my girlfriend.
After signing our annulment paper I saw her leaving, she didn't even look back.
I know I should be happy now but why does it hurts looking at her leaving me here.
It felt like a deja vu, later on I felt my head hurts.
An image of a woman running away from me flash on my mind.
And me running too chase her.
“Wife”, I called.
But the woman never look back at me.
I can see myself, how I got drunk everyday and how devastated I am when she left me.
Another flashback came and I saw a girl holding a baby in her hand.
Behind her I saw myself hugging them both. We were like a family.
It felt surreal.
Later on it all went black.
Sa muli kong pagmulat ng mata ko ay bumungad sa akin ang puting kisame at ang tahimik na kwarto.
Mayamaya pa ay may nagsalita na ikinagulat ko.
“hey man, how are you?”, Oliver asked me.
“where's my wife?”, I asked.
“You mean your ex wife”, Oliver said.
“f*ck you", I've said.
“what, your the one who insisted to sign the annulment papers and now that you remember her, you're asking me where she is”, Oliver said.
“Well for you information, I don't know where she is and even if I know I won't tell you.”, he said.
“if I were you, I will find her now because I know for sure she's planning on leaving Philippines.”, he added.
“Nah I think you should give her time, and about you fix yourself first after that find her.”, Chronos said.
“I can fix myself even if I'm with her”, I've said.
“huh di mo sure, trust me I've been there”, Chronos said.
“there's no f*cking way, I'll repeat your own mistake”, I've said.
“If I have to travel around the world just to find my wife, I will. I will never let fate separate us again”, I've said.
“Woah chill guys, masiyadong mainit ang mga ulo niyo. And I think Chronos was right, you should fix yourself first”, Oliver said.
“for what, there's nothing to fix for, I'm okay”, I've said.
“ahh kaya pala di ka binalikan ni Daphne”, Chronos said.
“wow nagsalita yung di mahanap yung asawa niya kung na saan na”, I've said.
“come on guys lahat naman tayo iniwan dahil sa mga kagaguhan at katangahan natin.”, Oliver said.
“Tama na yan, Apollo fix your things, we're leaving now”, Oliver said.
Mayamaya pa ay nasa biyahe na nga kami papunta sa condo ko.
Finally na kalabas na din sa hospital.
Nang makarating sa condo ay agad na kong nahiga sa kama.
I want to rest first.
Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras ako nakatulog pero paggising ko ay madilim na sa labas at wala na rin yung dalawang ugok.
Nag order na lamang ako sa malapit na restaurant ng kakainin ko para sa dinner.
Two years passed by like a blur. And all I did was to fix myself.
For the past two years all I did was to work my ass off in the company. I ghosted all of my friends, inviting me to party.
About my wife I heard she's back on being a model but sadly she's in Paris with our daughter.
But I'm happy for her because finally she can do the things that makes her happy. I've just realized that I deprived her dreams when she married me.
And all I did was to make her cry, I can't even think the time were I make her happy.
Everytime she has a fashion show, I watch it live or even online.
Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ko siyang tinanaw mula sa malayo umaasang sa gitna ng maraming tao ay makikita niya ako.
But sadly destiny won't even allow us to meet even in eye contact.
And right now that I'm in Paris for my business trip, I want to visit them. Even from a far I just want to see the two of them.
Nang makarating ako sa tapat ng bahay na tinutuluyan nila dito sa Paris ay nakita kong nakasarado ito.
Malas naman mukhang walang tao.
I was just looking at the house imagining that I'm living with them.
What could happen to us if I didn't get to an accident. Maybe were a happy family or maybe I'm still courting wife if ever.
Knowing my wife, I'm sure she'll play hard to get but I deserve it after all the things that I did to her.
I was about to walk out when I saw a car approaching.
And guess what it was my wife. Damn two years had passed and nothing change about her.
She's still beautiful as ever.
"Wife", I've said ng makababa siya sa kotse.
"What are you doing here?", She asked in a cold voice.
Imbes na sagutin siya ay inisang hakbang ko ang pagitan namin at niyakap ito.
Agad ko ring siniksik ang mukha ko sa may leeg niya. Damn smell so good.
"I miss you so much", I said as I cried.
Agad niya naman akong tinulak palayo sa kaniya.
"Umalis ka na", she said.
Akma na akong sasagot ng biglang bumukas ang pintuan ng backseat ng kotse at lumabas dito ang isang babae habang buhat-buhat ang isang bata na natutulog. Napa-awang ang labi ko ng pagmasdan ko ito.
She was a mixture of me and my wife.
"Is she our daughter?", I asked.
"Can I carry her?", I asked again.
Akala ko ay di niya ko papayagan na buhatin ang anak namin kaya nagulat ako ng tumango siya.
"Your so pretty my baby",mahina kong bulong sa natutulog naming anak.
"Uhm can you take a photo of us", I asked her.
Kita ko naman ang pagngiwi niya pero kinuha niya pa din ang phone ko para picture-ran kami.
Akma niya ng kukunin sakin ang anak namin ng magising ito.
"Dada", my daughter said and it felt like the world stop for me.
For a moment I was just looking at my daughter who's smiling at me.
Mayamaya pa ay napatingin ako sa asawa ko at hindi ko na napigilan ang pagtulo ng luha ko kaya agad ko itong pinunasan.
"You know me",I've said as I kissed our daughter's forehead.
"dada", muling sabi ng anak ko na nagpasinghot sa akin.
"My baby knows me huh", I said as I tickle our daughter's tummy that made her laugh.
Natigil lamang ako sa pagkiliti sa anak ko ng marinig kong magsalita ang nanny niya.
"Mam, sir, malamig na po baka po magkasakit ang anak niyo", she said kaya agad na kaming pumasok sa loob.
Nang makapasok kami sa bahay ay agad kong inilibot ang tingin ko sa loob ng bahay. Bago ko inilagay ang anak namin sa crib nito.
Napatingin ako sa isa sa mga wall nila ng makita ko ang isang picture ko.
"It's my mom who put it there", my wife said when she saw me looking at my picture.
"I didn't asked sobrang defensive mo naman po", I said.
"I was just explaining baka kase mag assume ka na ako nag lagay niyan", Pakikipagtalo niya pa sa akin.
"Okay sabi mo eh", I've said kaya agad niya naman akong sinamaan ng tingin.
"Can we talk", I asked her.
"Wala tayong dapat pag-usapan", she said.
"We should talk about us", I've said at agad siyang binuhat. This is the only way for us to talk.
Naramdaman ko naman ang pagpiglas niya kaya agad kong hinigpitan ang pagkakahawak ko sa kaniya.
"Umalis ka na", she said at hinampas ang dibdib ko.
"Nah I won't leave until we talk", I've said.
"Wow kapal ng mukha mo, matapos mong sabihin sakin na magpapakasal ka kay Stephanie kaya pinirmahan ko yung annulment paper natin. Di ba yun naman yung gusto mo, so bakit ngayon andito ka na naman.", She said, I can see in her eyes that she's hurting.
"Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Alam mo naman di ba na naaksidente ako. Nawala yung alaala ko. And I'm sorry, it took me two years before I got my memories back", I've said kitang-kita ko naman ang pag iwas niya ng tingin.
"I'm sorry too, kaya kitang patawarin pero ang balikan ka, hindi na", she said, damn that hurts but I'll do everything just to make her mine again.
"Pwede naman tayong magco-parenting sa anak natin", she added.
"Ayoko nun", I've said habang dahan-dahan na umu-upo sa sofa at inupo ko siya sa kandungan ko.
"I'm sorry but I can't accept you again in my life", she said.
Wala na ba talaga? To be honest hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang gagawin ko bumalik lamang siya sa akin.
"Makaka-alis ka na", she said at agad ng tumalikod para umakyat sa kwarto nila.
Looking at her turning her back on me, it hurts. It felt like she's already done with me.
It was so easy for her to turn her back on me without knowing that it hurts me like hell.
Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi ang bumalik sa tinutuluyan kong hotel dito sa Paris.
But before I sleep, I call someone that could help me to get my wife back.
When the morning came I agad na akong naghanda para sa gagawin kong surprised sa asawa ko bago ko pinuntahan ang anak namin.
No matter what happens today, I will accept it.
Nang makarating ako sa bahay ng asawa ko ay bumungad sakin ang anak ko na nasa crib.
“Hi baby”, pagbati ko sa anak ko at agad siyang binuhat mula sa crib niya.
“Hello dada”, she said, which made me smile.
“So where's mommy?”, I asked her as if she would answer.
Mayamaya pa ay lumabas ang nanny ng anak namin galing sa kusina.
“Sir kain na po muna kayo ng almusal”, she said.
“I already ate po", I've said kita ko naman ang pagtango niya.
“Ahh sige sir, ihahatid ko lang po ito kay mam Daphne”, she said.
What the heck she's here, I thought she's at work.
Ganun niya na ba ka ayaw sakin para di siya bumaba kahit kumain man lang.
Napailing na lamang ako at tinuon ang pansin sa anak ko.
Buong maghapon ay tumambay ako sa bahay ng asawa ko at ng mag ala singko na ay nagpaalam na ako na aalis dahil kailangan ko ng maghanda para sa surprise ko sa asawa ko.
Saktong ala sais ay nasa may Eiffel tower na ako at na andito na din ang pareho naming mga mahal sa buhay.
Kanina na pa ako palinga-linga nagbabakasakaling dumating na ang kotseng sinasakyan niya.
“She's here”, my mom shouted in the middle of the crowd kaya agad akong napa ayos ng tayo.
Naramdaman ko naman ang pagtapik ng dalawang kaibigan ko sa magkabilang balikat ko.
“Good luck man”, Chronos said.
“Good luck pre, sana naman ngayon happy ending na kayo pero pag hindi pa din inuman na lang us”, Oliver said that made me smile, apaka sira ulo talaga ng isang to.
When I saw my wife getting out of the car, I got teary eye. This is it, no matter what's her decision I will accept it even if it will hurt me in the end as long as she's happy I'll be happy too.
Kitang-kita ko kung pano siya maguluhan sa mga nangyayari at ng akmang tatakilod na siya ng magsalita ako.
“Wait wife!, Hear me first then after this you can decide if you want to be with me or not”, I've said.
“Now what?”, she said as she crossed her arm against her chest.
“To be honest I don't know where to start but anyway I'm sorry, it took me two years before I got my memories back. I'm sorry for hurting you I just want you to know that it wasn't my intention to hurt you.”, pagsisimula ko.
Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago naglakad palapit sa kaniya at dinala sa gitna ng Eiffel tower kung saan may mga petals ng pulang rosas na nasa sahig. Ang shape niya ay heart.
“I'll be honest with you I really wanted you back kahit noon pa man na wala pa akong amnesia. I wanna grow old with you together with our daughter. I wanted to be there for her in every possible way, if you will gave me a chance. Please give me a chance. I promise I will proved myself to you and to our daughter”, I've said as I look at her and our daughter.
“Do you really love me? If yes how much you love me?”, she asked.
“Of course I love you. I don't know how much I love you, but all I know is that I love you with all my heart, that if you leave me, I'll go crazy." That if you said right now that you don't love me anymore, I'd rather die than live without you in my arms”, I've said that made the people gasp including her.
“F*ck, I never thought I would say this, but will you marry me?”, I asked kasabay ng pagluhod ko ng isang paa ko.
“Mahal mo ba talaga ako? O dahil may anak tayo kaya gusto mo kong pakasalan?”, she asked me.
“Wife ito na nga oh, nagpopropose na ako sayo. Willing na akong magpakasal sayo. Mahal kita, kaya kita papakasalan, bonus na lang yan na anak natin”, I've said that made the people laugh.
Why are they laughing, when it's true, I'm so in love with this woman in front of me.
Kita ko naman ang pag iling niya.
“So uulitin ko ulit yung tanong ko, I can't believe I'm saying this but will you marry me?”, I said.
Nakita ko ang paglibot niya ng tingin para bang nagtatanong kung papayagan niya ako o hindi.
Nang muli niya akong tingnan ay ramdam ba ramdam ko na ang kaba ko at sigurado akong halatang halata ito.
I heard her clear her throat first that made me look at her.
“Yes, I will marry you”, she said kaya agad kong isinuot sa kaniya ang singsing at binuhat siya tsaka inikot.
After that I've kissed her until were out of breath.
Rinig ang palakpakan sa buong paligid namin.
For a moment I was just looking at her while she's showing the ring to our friends and family.
And when she looks at me both of us smile to each other.
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A/N: Your votes and comment is highly appreciated 😊❤
P.S. Yey!, finally natapos ko na yung POV ni Apollo so next na po ang epilogue!