Song recommendations for the chapter
Sorry - Halsey
Midnight rain - Taylor swift
Habits - Genevieve Stokes
Often - The weekend
See you later - Jenna Raine
Ghost of you - 5 Seconds Of Summer
|I failed to see it from the start and tore you open till the end|
Sydney's POV
"Talk to me . Please,"i heard him plead from behind me . I could feel the tears threatening to pour and i just couldn't control myself .
"I..i ruined everything,"i stuttered turning around to face him. My eyes locked with his and my guilt rose . His dark brown eyes were glazed with tears as he looked at me , he was hurt
"What?"he asked in confusion , his hands reaching for mine but i took a step back and only then did i realize that Leone had also followed me out here. He had the same hurt facial expression.
"I ruined your friendship with Hardin ,"i sniffled looking back and forth between Leone and Dayn.
I took a step back but he tightly grabbed my wrists,"let go , Dayn" i said , not looking into his eyes .
He didn't comply,"Syd,"he said angrily and i looked at him in the eyes ,"what do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said,"i shrugged
"You don't want to be friends with us anymore , Syd?" Leone asked and my heart ached at the saddened tone and look on his face . They were making it harder than what it was supposed to be.
A tear rolls down my cheek as i looked at him ,"i do..."
"So then what?!"Dayn exclaims angrily , running his hand through his hair .
I looked down at his hands still holding my wrists and caressed them softly , i sniffled , "i can't do this to you."
I watched his expression soften as he intertwined our fingers. I sighed ,"you guys have been friends for so long , family even . And i just came in between you and ruined everything."
Dayn shook his head frantically,"no , no ,no baby,"he said softly , wiping my tears stained cheeks with his thumbs ,"you didn't do anything. Hardin did "
"No ... I did. Because of me , he almost drowned himself. I got in between him and the only people he trusted - you guys. If i hadn't , he wouldn't have done that. I can't just shut my eyes on the fact that not only did i ruin your friendship but also pushed your friend to almost drown himself, I'm not that person"
"It's not your fault Sydney,"Leone said trying to convince me .
"He's a complicated person . His demons weigh him down and they control him. You had nothing to do with it ,"Dayn said
"I'm the reason you guys fought that night . It's all my fault and I'm trying to fix that , i need you to forget me"i sobbed.
"So you're going to throw away what we could've been?"Dayn asked in a voice barely audible and that pained me even more ,"i opened up to you , told you my dark past. I told you how I feel about you and put my trust into you and you want to throw that away? Why make me open up to you and walk away from me , from us?" He expressed his frustration and hurt
I looked down guilty,"please try to understand me "
"I am trying but i want you to also understand how much you're hurting me here Syd"i could hear the straining of his voice
"You can hate me all you want now Dayn, i get it,"I sniffled ,"but in the near future when you're back to being happy with your best friend then you'll realize it'll be all worth it "
He looked at me sorrowfully from behind his dark bangs ,"but the difference is that you won't be there with me. It won't ever be the same "
"We'll still see each other at work, right ?"i tried being positive but he shook his head
"You know it's not the same"
Another tear rolled down my cheeks but he immediately caught it with his thumb , caressing my cheek gently,"i wish things would've been different"
"Me too ,"he whispers leaning his forehead against mine before taking me in his arms for a comforting hug ,"i really didn't want it to end like this , or ever at all" he whispered against my ear , his grip on me as tight as ever. It was as if he was holding onto me for dear life and that only broke my heart more.
"Please , please don't hate me "i cried pulling away from him slowly . I turned to Leone who wiped my tears with a sad smile as he pulled me into his arms
"We could never hate you cupcake"he ran his hands up and down my back comfortingly,"never"
He cupped my cheeks , pressing a soft kiss on my forehead ,"don't ever blame yourself for what happened"
I took a step back , looking at the two men in front of me . I hadn't realized how much significance they held in my life till now , till i had to let them go . I tried to smile at them but it seemed bittersweet to be honest. It was for the best , at least for now.
"Have fun wherever you decide to go,"i tried to sound optimistic but i knew they didn't believe me .
"I know you said i should forget you but I'll hold on to you and to us . Take care,"Dayn said , not looking into my eyes .
"Take care Syd" Leone said with a small smile.
I didn't want to stand there anymore , i was on the verge of a breakdown and i couldn't take the pain any longer ,"goodbye"
I didn't wait for a response and turned on my heels walking away as tears started to flow down my cheeks involuntarily.
3rd person POV
Dayn and Leone stood in the hallway, watching her walk away.
Dayn lowered his head ,his hands moulded into fists,"she really broke up with me" his voice sounded hallow and lifeless .
Leone patted he younger on the back ,"come on , let's give her some space"he told him and Dayn slowly nodded and let Leone drag him back into the hall.
Instead of returning to their table , Leone led the younger go to the table with the rest of the guys were seated.
Dayn quietly flopped onto the chair next to Leone , covering his face with his palms . The rest of the guys went silent ,watching him.
"I saw you with Syd a minute ago ,"Seth started,"where'd she go?" He asked Dayn who didn't even spare him a glance
"I don't wanna talk about it,"he said quietly , looking at the beer in front of him blankly . Everyone else cocked their head in Leone's direction, expecting an answer from him instead.
He sighed,"she left."
"The party started just an hour ago . Is something wrong?" Jordan asked, clearly concerned as to why the youngest looked so down.
"She..."Leone's voice trailed off as he glanced at Hardin who was also looking at him , not even bothering to hide it ,"....she said that she feels responsible for getting in between us and ruining our friendship."
"I wasn't expecting that,"Seth said . Jake glanced at Hardin who was staring at the doorway in confusion
"She didn't want to come in between us do she broke up with him ,"he gestured at the younger who was drowning himself in alcohol,"she said she also felt like she was responsible for what happened to Hardin"at the mention of his name , everyone on the table , except Dayn looked at Hardin who shrunk in his seat.
Adam patted Dayn's shoulder sympathetically,"sorry Dayn. We know how much you really liked her" Dayn didn't respond , looking at the beer in his hand.
Hardin stared at Dayn and then at the door in confusion. Why would she do that?
He looked around the table and everyone had gone uncomfortably silent . He needed to get to the bottom of this .
He abruptly stood from his spot , grabbing everyone's attention. He dusted himself off glancing at the door then back at his friends who were staring at him,"what?"he asked bluntly
"Where are you going?"Jake questioned , glancing at Dayn who was still not looking up .
"I need some air,"he simply shrugged. Not waiting for their validation, he walked away. Jake glanced at Adam who gave him a knowing look before looking away.
Sydney's POV
I sighed loudly , leaning my head against the tinted windows of the SUV , staring out into the highway as i was being driven back home .
I left the party barely an hour after it had started. I wanted to stay and have fun but i couldn't with all of them there , i couldn't avoid the elephant in the room . I didn't want to stay there and experience that pain anymore so i had to leave.
I couldn't bother Rose because she had disappeared the moment she saw her boyfriend and i couldn't do that to Vanessa either since she was having the time of her life partying with her celebrity crush so i decided to go home and deal with my shit myself.
I was hurting so much by letting them go . I couldn't believe how much i had gotten attached to these guys . I let go of what we could've been with Dayn . I let go of the precious friendship that i had with Leone. He was always there, even tonight when i let him go , he wiped my tears away and told me that he would never hate me. I could feel tears threaten to fall but forced them away . I had to stop crying.
I made the right decision. I intervened and ruined their friendship so i had to do what's right , selflessly. It might hurt now , but once they are back to joking around and laughing together , it'll be all worth it . It will be worth sacrificing a potential relationship and friendship .
It'll be worth it
A notification bell from my phone brought me back from my thoughts. I fished out my smartphone from my purse and unlocked it .
Upon unlocking it , i stumbled upon the pictures my friends and i had posted before we left home .
SydRichards✓
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SydRichards : Halloween 🎃
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TheLeone_R : to die for
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RosesAreRed
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SimplyJackson : roses
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some were from Vanessa which she had just posted of herself having a drink with London. Another post showed Rose and Jackson together , all cozy in each other's embrace.
At least they are having fun i forced a smile , scrolling through my Instagram . I saw some pictures Celebrity Trends had just posted of well known faces going into the building and some from Hybe's official page .
I couldn't help but smile unconsciously when i saw a group picture of the guys on one of their posts. It must've been taken before the party started . Seeing that picture made it even more bittersweet to let them go but i had to.
I clicked onto Leone's story out of curiosity. He had posted some short videos of the guys before the party and the most recent was of a few minutes ago.
He was with Adam , Jake , Jordan and Seth drinking together whilst loud music played in the background. I couldn't help but notice that neither Dayn nor Hardin were in that video but i just bit down my curiosity. It wasn't any of my business now anyway.
I continued to scroll through my Instagram , new posts of the guys continuously pouring . In a matter if short seconds , Leone uploaded individual pictures of the guys on his story which of course my curiosity got the best of me ,leading to me viewing the story.
-Leone
I couldn't help but roll my eyes as i sniffled . Of course Leone would take a flirty picture like that . Literally every post of his had either a kinky caption or a kinky facial expression.
-Dayn
I didn't really get enough time to properly check him out due to my vision blurred with tears and my anxiety. He looked dashing, as always .
I could feel tears form at the brim of my eyes thinking about him , about what we could've been .I hated myself for getting so attached to him so easily. I thought i would've learned better from my previous relationships but no .
|No you made the right decision | i blinked my tears away , immediately scrolling down to avoid more heart ache.
My breath hitched once i came across Hardin's picture. I hadn't properly looked at him either . All i had seen was his upper body when he sat next to me but that was it.
His casual - formal attire screamed his personal style preference . His hair slicked back , giving a distinct view of his flawless forehead .
If i had to admit , i was surprised to see him at the party especially since he was discharged from the hospital only two days ago. He looked better and less 'on the edge' so that was a good thing.
I couldn't help but wonder why he seemed happy to see me . After that night i thought he'd want me nowhere near him and i couldn't blame him.
All these thoughts led me to reminiscing about the conversation i had earlier with Dayn and Leone. Yes , i let go of them so they could fix their bond again. However that wasn't the only reason behind what I did.
Over the past two weeks , i knew something had changed the moment i left Hardin's apartment after that incident. I knew that Dayn felt it too.
Feelings i was trying so hard to suppress for his best friend were getting in the way of me fully giving my all to Dayn and it took Hardin's drowning incident to realize that.
I was feeling torn for letting my feelings for Hardin prevent me from taking the next step with Dayn. The guilt was eating me alive.
But i couldn't tell Dayn that, he would be devasted. He obviously saw how something had changed in our relationship but hearing it from me first hand would ruin everything we built so far .
I had to deal with my shit alone this time. I needed to clear my head and get my feelings straight. I didn't want to lead anyone on whilst still hanging on to past feelings , i wasn't going to be that selfish. I had to let go of them for me too.
I never had time to actually heal from Luca . Maybe this was the time to get my things straight and get some well deserved closure and that's what I was going to do . I wanted to be happy , truly this time.
I sighed loudly , switching off my phone. I tossed it to the seat next to me, where my purse and shoes were .I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply.
You made the right choice
•••••
Vanessa's pov
"You Know,"London initiated , watching me take the last sip of my third drink,"you shouldn't take too much alcohol . You'll get pretty wasted"
I looked at him , smiling cheekily as i flipped my hair over my shoulder ,"I'll be fine . I've got a high level of alcohol tolerance"
He chuckled, swinging his chair from left to right whilst watching me. I couldn't help but shrink under his intense gaze.
We had so far spent the entire night together , just the two of us talking and joking around. We had even exchanged social media handles and phone numbers with each other.
"You said you travel a lot right?"London questioned . I gave a small nod , drumming my fingernails against the bar countertop.
"My dad travels a lot so i travel with him,"I answered.
"I see,"he ran his index over his bottom plump lip ,"I've always wanted to travel , without any work involved ."
"I could show you around . I've been to quite a lot of nice places,"I grinned at him suggestively , my chin on my palms
He smiled charmingly,his brown orbs twinkling a bit under the lights ,"I'd like that" he said , gently caressing my shoulder. His subtle touch was warm and inviting.
I watched him glance behind him where most of the guests were dancing at the center of the hall and looked at me suggestively.
"Hey , you wanna dance with me?"he asked nervously running his hand through his fluffy black hair .
I nodded shyly , tucking my hair behind my ear taking his hand held out for me. Who the hell would say no to an opportunity like that.
"I hope your boyfriend doesn't mind that you spent the entire night with me,"he teased , his hands holding onto my waist as we swayed to the rhythm of the song playing.
I scrunched her nose cutely, avoiding his intense gaze ,"i think he would mind...if he was existent"she joked .
"So you're telling me,"he held me a little closer ,"that a beautiful woman like yourself is not with anyone tonight?"
"Not with anyone at all,"i admitted embarrassingly.
"Then i think I've hit the jackpot,"he smiled widely , brushing his nose against mine. My breath hitched at the contact and my face was burning hot,"I'm curious as to know , why though?"
"Quite simple,"i started, my hands loosely around his neck,"i don't think I've actually been in a serious relationship mostly because of the whole travelling thing. They can't handle long distance i guess"
"Well that's their loss,"he smirked ,"and my gain"
I rolled her eyes hiding my face in my palms ,"smooth talker "i joked,"and u hope your girlfriend doesn't mind that you spent the entire night with me"
"Non-existent,"he simply answered , respectfully keeping his hands on my hips
"Their loss,my gain"i mimicked , turning around so her back was against his chest as they danced together
I felt him snake his hands around my waist protectively , his head on the crook if my neck. I could feel his hot breath against my shoulder sending shivers down my spine.
"You're really pretty,"he suddenly complimented. My eyes widened before narrowing as i smiled widely hiding my face behind me hair.
I felt him push my hair aside to get a clear view of my red cheeks,"aww are you blushing?"
"How can't i when you say something like that,"i babbled hiding my cheeks with my palms .
"It's true,"he simply shrugged
He turned me around , our chests against eachother. I've come to realize that he is naturally touchy . I don't mind , it's comfortable and not in the least bit perverted.
I don't know if it was the alcohol getting to me but i could feel heat envelope me every time i looked into his dark brown eyes. I definitely like what i saw .
He used his index to lift my chin up so i could face him. I like the way his height made him hover over me completely."you're really an interesting character V "he suddenly says , making me turn red from blushing.
Of course he noticed how flustered I was and chuckled,"how bout we do this again , some other time "
Was he..... ? Was he asking me out?! My literal celebrity crush , was right in front of me , dancing with me , talking to me and asking now me out . ME? Okay calm the fuck down V.
"Sure,"i smiled awkwardly,"i'd like that"
I can't wait to tell Rose and Syd.
I quickly glanced around me , my brows furrowed. I spotted rose in the near distance with Jackson... but Syd was out of sight.
"Have you by any chance seen Syd?"i asked the man dancing with me and he nodded immediately.
" I saw him with...i think his name is Hardin, earlier,"he had mentioned being friends with Leone and some of the other guys earlier during our initial chit chat ,"but she walked out a couple of minutes ago"
Why would she be with Hardin and not Dayn?
"Why ask?"he asked . I offered a small smile , waving it off ,"nothing, just curious"
3rd person's POV
Sydney wrapped her arms around herself as she got out of the SUV.
She turned around ,facing her driver with a faint smile .
"Thank you again for driving me back home on such short notice,"she said , caressing her cold arms .
"No problem miss,"the older man smiled back ,"have a good night"
"Thank you , same to you" she waved at him , watching as he drove off .
She sighed as she shifted from one barefoot to another , looking up at the apartment building in front of her .
Neither rose and Vanessa were going to be home since their with their boyfriend and potential love interest. Meaning , lonely night for her.
I guess it's solo movie night , she sighed to herself , making slow steps to the entry of the building but halt in her steps when she heard an engine roaring behind her .
She turned around to be met with blinding lights , being unable to recognize the car.
Did i forget something inside the car? She asked herself , squinting her eyes at the blinding lights. She stood still.. waiting.
A few seconds later , the car lights switched off , revealing a familiar black G350 Mercedes parked in front of the building.
It can't be
She stood still , in surprising anticipation as she watched the owner of the car , climb out of the vehicle . He made long strides till he stopped right in front of her , barely a meter apart.
The moment their eyes meet she felt her heart start beating uncontrollably again. What was he doing here?
"Hardin?"her voice came out in nearly a whisper as she looked up at him , clearly surprised,"what are you-"
"Why?" Was the first thing he said , taking a step closer to her , completely hovering over her with his height,"why did you do it?"
Her eyes wandered everywhere, avoiding his stare,"why what?"
He pinched his nose in frustration,"don't act oblivious Syd. Why did you break up with Dayn and break your friendship with Leone?"
"Isn't it obvious,"she crossed her arms over her chest looking down ,"i intervened between you guys and the consequences are quite clear . I ..i ruined your friendship with your best friends..." tears couldn't help but stream down her cheeks .
He cupped her cheeks , brushing her tears away with his thumbs . He couldn't handle seeing her cry like that .
".....i got in between Dayn and you and i caused you to...i c-caused you to try to drown yourself"
His jaw clenched fro a moment and he visibly tensed. "you didn't"
"No i did" she shook her head, she stepped back, "i did. I was the reason for you to do what you did. The guilt has been eating me alive"
"You weren't the reason behind what i did okay . Please , believe me " he said softly , taking her involuntarily into his embrace ,"I'm sorry for making you feel that way "
Sydney let herself sink in his embrace . He caressed her back as she sniffled , controlling her sobs . She felt oddly relaxed and comfortable in his arms , as if she'd never left .After a few seconds , she composed herself, pulling away from him and wiping her tears.
"No i did. If I hadn't gone on that date with Dayn then it wouldn't have led to tarnishing your friendship with him ."
Hardin crossed his arms over his chest and sighed,"then why did you come. Why were you there when i woke up the next morning?"
"I was worried ,okay,"Sydney didn't even try to hide it ,"you couldn't even imagine the emotional pain i went through seeing you in that state. I thought you wouldn't wake up "
"You were worried?"Hardin couldn't help but smile faintly, regardless of how sensitive the topic was at that moment. He was surprised she actually admitted it . Even after all the hell he out her through, she still cared.
Sydney sniffled , looking sideways once she realized what she had said,"everyone was"
"I thought you hated me "he said , stuffing his hands in his pockets
"Unfortunately, i don't ,"she sighed ,"but still , if i wasn't the reason then why did you do it"
Hardin breathed out slowly , looking at the ground. His eyes slowly rose up to look at her. Her eyes were glistening with tears . It provoked something in him to see her crying, he didn't like it .
She was really worried for me?
He looked around , jaw clenched as if scared that someone would hear him,"i wanted to feel anything at all that could stop me from thinking about you" he confessed
Her eyes widened,"excuse me?"
He nibbled on his bottom lip , looking at her fearfully as if scared she'd judge him . But deep down he knew she would never .
"What's in my head is messed up Syd,"he said in a low , hurt tone ,"i can't explain how I feel and it's so intense and these voices in my head... And .. i.. i guess seeing you with Dayn made me feel this intense anger ,"he explained ,"anger mostly at myself for letting you slip away from me because i couldn't control these demons weighing me down"
"So it was my fault"she concluded , on the verge of tears.
"Let me finish"he stopped her,"i felt pain knowing that i could've been in Dayn's place if i hadn't fucked things up between us .It was my fault because i ruined our relationship. I wanted that pain to go away . Any physical pain is better than the emotional pain i felt. I was drunk , angry and out of my mind and it was the only thing i could think of"
"You're so selfish for doing that,"she suddenly scolds him , crying her eyes out again . He immediately held her tightly against him , patting her back affectionately ,"i am a selfish asshole baby.. i know" he whispered running her hands through her hair comfortingly.
"Your friends were so worried about you . You made them go through all that,"she weakly punched his chest , sniffling ,"don't ever do that again , please"
"I'm sorry i made you go through that because of me" he said pulling away from her ,"and I'm sorry for hurting you... Repeatedly"
A moment of silence reigned over them as they simply stared at eachother before Sydney broke eye contact , glancing at her surroundings.
"So is that why you came all the way here? To apologize"she questioned , hugging her trembling figure from the cold wind .
"Yes actually"
"Shocker,"she sighed wiping her tears stained cheeks,"you never apologize"she mumbled
"Fair"he didn't try to argue
Hardin moved a bit closer to her , taking off the jacket he had worn on the way there and placed it over her shoulders ,"you looked cold" he said quietly before stuffing is hands in his pockets and taking a step back.
"Thanks .. i guess,"she said awkwardly looking down. He reached out to her , tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear , making her look at him .
"I'm going to make things right again,"he said softly taking her small hands in his ,"i promise I'll fix my shit when i come back "
Sydney furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She glanced at their hands interweaved together then looked him in the eye. He looked sincere and apologetic .
"I'm going to do things right this time around . I'll be good to you , for reals Syd"he promised, taking a long step towards her , narrowing the distance between them .
Before she could respond to his vague statement , she felt a familiar heat envelope her as his lips captured hers slowly. She remembered how his lips tasted , like strawberry chapstick .
She felt that familiar electric tug at her chest only he could awake . She was torn between pulling away and staying but her thoughts weren't agreeing with her body . She stayed fixated on the spot , allowing him to awake those unique sensations.
She could hear warning sirens go off in her head and a ticking time bomb in her head as their lips collided . After a few seconds, he pulled away , an unreadable expression on his face.
"I promise I'll make it right,"he smiled faintly before walking away to his car but before he opened his car door, he glanced over his shoulder and smiled,"this isn't goodbye,this is simply see you later baby" he said before roaring the engine into action and speeding off.
Sydney stood fixated on her spot , watching him disappear around the corner as she tried to process what had just happened.
She thought letting go of them would mean the end of it but from what he just said , it didn't seem like it . This was simply the calm before another storm.
She tugged onto the sleeves of his jacket and beelined into her apartment to avoid anyone seeing her flushed and dumbfounded face .
|We're too young , too dumb to know things like love . But i know better now|
[A\N - don't forget to leave a vote♥⭐]