Chapter Nine
"Arranged marriage my ass."
I looked up with a raised brow as Hades sat down at the table in the small dining room that was an offshoot of the tiny kitchen. I'd noticed lately Hades had been eating there, along with Cain, Theo, Cerberus, and Charon, who were also currently living in the palace for some fucking reason. Last I checked, all four of those idiots had husbands to return home to, even kids, so what the fuck were they doing hanging around here all the time?
"Jo told me you were the one who set it up," I said dryly, which only made Hades snort harder in disagreement as he folded up a pita to dredge through hummus.
"Like fuck I was. That shit's just trying to stir the pot," Hades assured, shaking his head, "You're not marrying anyone. Ever." I wrinkled my nose at that, because who the fuck did he think he was telling me what I could and couldn't do? At the same time, there was a profound relief, but also a sense of... I don't know. I didn't want to say disappointment, because I definitely didn't want to get married and I definitely didn't want to marry River.
I rolled my eyes at the thought of the guy.
Most unfortunately, he and his dad insisted on staying at the palace, but thankfully their rooms were on the other side of the wing, away from the private rooms of the household, so we didn't have to mingle too much. Even so, River was fucking annoying. Every time we bumped into each other, he'd greet me as young prince or the prince, like he didn't acknowledge my name, and yeah sure, my name was weird, but at least it wasn't fucking River or Cypress. What were they, faes?
"Don't start that again," Charon said without looking up as he took a sip of tea, "Four's old enough to make his own decisions when the time comes." Cerberus snorted and looked at me.
"Get ready, kid, cuz the moment you show even the slightest interest in anyone who isn't Hades, he's gonna gut the person like a fish," he warned, making Hades roll his eyes and Cain open and close his mouth as he considered it. I scowled, glancing at Hades.
"What's it fucking matter who I marry anyway? Which for the record, I'm not," I added with a scoff, "I can't even walk down the fucking stairs, let alone defend myself in a marriage." I took a bite of the rice on my plate, chewed, realized no one was talking and looked up with a scowl to see everyone looking at me before they immediately looked down at their plates. I frowned.
The fuck was that about?
"Oh, so we're eating in here again today." I looked up to see Lucy walking into the room, pausing to touch Hades's shoulder. I frowned, watching his hand squeeze the god's shoulder. I expected Hades to shrug him off, but instead, he almost seemed to lean into the touch, like he liked it. He even brushed his nose by Lucy's arm before Lucy moved away to take a seat between me and Cain, which was probably for the best.
"Better than getting caught by the guests," Hades grunted as he pushed his food around on his plate, eyes searching the now unidentifiable mass, like he was expecting to see something in it.
"I actually quite like River," Lucy commented, making Hades and I glare at him, "What? He's so polite. His father's a bit pushy, but he's always been that way. He means well. He's just trying to do what's best for his son, which I can relate to. Just let him do his song and dance until he gets bored and moves on."
"I highly doubt he'll move on so easily," Cerberus said dryly, "Cypress has been pushing to get his fingers in the royal family for years. He's had three different wives and has three daughters, but not a single son."
"What's that matter?" I asked.
"The Windstorm family is old and traditional," Lucy replied, "He can't let a female lead his family. He needs a son."
"Okay, but why marry me? I can't have any kids to give him heirs," I snorted.
"Heirs don't matter," Lucy said, "The Windstorm family is very patriarchal. If they are to die off, they'll do it with a male at the head of their family. That's just the way it is with them."
"Well, sucks to be them, cuz I'm not fit for marriage, now or ever," I snorted, digging my fork into my rice to stir it around with the ginger sauce. Lucy smiled.
"Well, you never know. Don't you like River?" He asked. I scowled, and so did Hades, who was pinning Lucy with this warning look that Lucy seemed completely oblivious to.
"Uh. No. He's annoying. He talks weird, he dresses weird, and as it stands, he'd beat the shit out of me without a second thought," I said, making Lucy blink in surprise, "No way. I don't mind fighting him, but I'm not doing it until I'm better. We'll consider him a pregame until I can find the asshole who tortured me." Lucy blinked a few times, then looked at Hades, who looked down at his food now.
"I'm sorry," Lucy said after a moment, "What's this about fighting?" I frowned.
"The Marriage Trial. I can't even go up and down the stairs without help, let alone defend myself in a marriage. I'm not doing shit until I can."
"I'm afraid I don't quite understand. What does fighting have to do with marriage?"
"Drop it, Lucy," Hades said firmly, making Lucy look up in surprise, "Doesn't matter. He's not getting married. End of discussion." Lucy's mouth worked into a frown and when Hades glanced up to see the effect his words had, Lucy's look turned into a promise of discussion later. I shook my head as I finished my food and left the room so they could do their weird telepathic couple thing.
Because honestly, that's kind of how those two talked. They somehow knew what the other was thinking without words even being spoken. It had to be telepathy, which meant they could read what was in my head, which meant I was even less safe than I had originally thought.
I'd have to keep my head clear, which was already a struggle.
Lately, the nightmares had gotten worse; to the point where I had to avoid sleep. I refused to wake up in a panic like that again. Last night had been the final straw. I'd woken up in a rush and paced my room until morning when Ryk came to give me my medication. I'd managed to make him think I'd gotten enough rest, just to keep him off my ass, but he was eventually going to catch on when I couldn't stay awake much longer.
I was already fucking exhausted. My body was exhausted, my brain was exhausted, and even my will felt like it was dwindling.
And I wasn't sure where it was coming from.
It was just so easy to do what Ryk said, take the medication, eat whatever garbage they gave me, walk around, then go back to sleep until the next day. It was weird not having rigid expectations shoved down my throat.
At the same time, I could feel myself getting soft. It was easier just to let shit go, easier to just walk away, easier to just... I don't know, relax?
But that didn't make any fucking sense.
How could I possibly want to relax now of all times?
My torturer was still on the loose. The Mother had to know I was gone by now and surely she wouldn't just let me off the hook without warning. Then there was the whole mess with this marriage idea, which I was not prepared to handle with the way my body was at the time. To top it all off, the nightmares were taking my sleep away, so what the fuck was I just chilling and having dinner with the fucking Hadiferian people?
Annoyed, I pinched the bridge of my nose and went to my room where Ryk was waiting with another cup of medication and an annoying insistence that we go outside for another walk around the property.
"This is stupid," I said, yanking my sweatpants on and a sweatshirt, "Why do I need to keep going outside to walk?"
"Because you need fresh air, sunlight, and exercise. Also, no sweatshirt, it's getting warmer now," he added, reaching to the rack in the closet to take a shirt off and tossing it at me. I caught it and shot him a dirty look before I tugged it on over my head.
After a disgruntled argument over the stupid shirt, we finally managed to leave my room and head downstairs to leave through the front door, except when we came into the lobby, I was surprised to see River sitting in one of the lounge chairs. He was immediately on his feet the moment we entered the lobby.
"Doctor," River said, nodding to Ryk, who smirked, and River turned those fiery eyes to me, "Young Prince."
"I have a name, asshole."
"Play nice," Ryk warned. I curled my lip and River just gave me a strained smile.
"My, your vocabulary gets more and more colorful every time we meet," he said, then looked at Ryk, "Perhaps I could join you on your afternoon stroll?" Ryk raised an eyebrow and looked at me and I glared at him, daring him to accept.
"Sure, we'd love the company," Ryk said with a warm buttery smile. I rolled my eyes and just walked ahead, ignoring their conversation behind me that sounded like River just bitching about my mouth.
What was so wrong with the way I talked?
Because my words weren't colorful and pretty like theirs?
Fuckin' rich people.
We took the same path we did the past few days, took a pit stop at Eumelia's bench, then proceeded to the garden where I was promptly reminded not to go foraging in the bushes or trees for things to throw at what I learned was Hades's office window.
Too bad. I'd like to see the look on his face if I threw a fucking bench through his window.
"You look tired today," River said suddenly, making me blink and look up to see him sitting down beside me on the bench in the garden. I frowned, glancing over where Ryk was once again on his phone, making me raise an eyebrow. That guy was always on his phone, every chance he got, and it was so hard to pull him away. What the hell was he doing? What happened to babysitting?
"I'm fine," I bit off at last, pushing up off the bench. River sighed and stood up to follow me, much to my chagrin.
"Perhaps, but... if you'd like to talk about it, I'm here," he said. I twitched, then turned to look at him suspiciously. River frowned in response.
"I don't even know you," I replied. River shrugged.
"That's how one gets to know someone, is it not? To talk to one another?"
"I thought you didn't like the way I talked."
"I absolutely do not."
"Then why would you try to get me to talk to you?"
"Because you look like you could use someone to talk to."
"That doesn't make any sense," I said sourly, making River sigh and reach up to rub his hands against the sides of his nose, like I was giving him a headache or something, "Oh, and you can quit trying to kiss up to me, or Hades for that matter. Marriage ain't gonna happen." River was quiet for a moment, studying me, then shrugged and nodded as he started to walk ahead of me. I scowled, hurrying to keep up for some unknown reason. Maybe because his reaction was unexpected?
"To be quite honest with you, that's a relief to hear," he said, making me roll my eyes.
"See, you don't even fucking like me."
"It's not that," River said dryly, making me raise an eyebrow, "While you certainly are not my favorite person, you are not my least favorite person. My father's push for marriage is growing exhausting and futile. He needs to simply accept that our lineage can and will end with me."
"Even if you married me, I couldn't give you kids, dickweed. I'm a guy," I pointed out. River was quiet for a moment, making me frown. I didn't know what to say now, and apparently neither did River, because we ended up just walking in silence around the garden. Every so often, I'd do a scan for Ryk, and sure enough, the guy was sitting at the garden bench with his eyes glued to his phone, except as we came back around the last time, I noticed Ryk's features growing pinched, like he was irritated.
"Who pissed in your corn flakes?" I asked as we approached Ryk. River grimaced. Ryk gave me a very fake smile. Like, the kind you'd see in a textbook picture.
"I have absolutely no idea what you're referring to," he said simply as he rose to his feet, "Now, shall we head inside for your appointment with Jo?" I wrinkled my nose, but didn't say anything and just went ahead to the inside of the house.
"Are you alright?" I heard River ask Ryk behind me.
"Of course."
"You seem... bothered."
"No. Just tired. He's a handful."
"I cannot begin to imagine."
"He's also not deaf," I said loudly, making Ryk chuckle. River rolled his eyes.
Thankfully, we didn't have to put up with his pompous ass for long as he excused himself to go find his father, who was probably upstairs harassing Hades about a marriage.
"Do you find that peculiar?" Jo asked after we had sat down and got comfortable in my room. I frowned, looking up from where I was strapping a watch on my wrist. I looked down at the glass covering where digital numbers told me it was almost time for dinner, and something about my heart rate apparently.
Weird.
"Yeah," I said, answering Jo's question, "I think it's weird Hades gives a shit about me getting married or not."
"You'll find Hades is quite overprotective of his children. Anyone who shows an interest in them must face his wrath first. He's done it with all of his children, including Lucifer's, so pay no nevermind. He's simply worried for you."
"He doesn't fucking know me," I deadpanned, folding my arms over my chest and kicking back in the armchair, "He doesn't give a shit about me. I'm not his kid. I feel like I've made that pretty fucking clear, but for some reason, people keep saying otherwise."
"Just because you don't like something doesn't mean it isn't true."
"Okay, so? And it's not true. I'm only here to get better so I can get the fuck out and kill that guy."
"Do you remember who it was?"
"Well... no," I muttered, averting my eyes. Jo studied me for a while, looked down at the electronic tablet in his hand where he kept all his notes and secrets before he set it aside and leaned forward in his seat.
"How about we try something to see if we can find out who that person is?" He asked. I stiffened.
"You can do that?" I asked. Jo shrugged lightly, giving his cardigan a little tug.
"Sort of. See, it's called hypnosis. What we're going to do is have you go to sleep and explore your subconscious to see if perhaps there are answers to all of your questions there," he said, making me glare.
"If you can do that, why didn't you do it before?"
"Because you weren't ready, and frankly, I don't think you're quite ready now, but--"
"How can I not be ready? Tell me what to do," I ordered. Jo was quiet for a moment before he inclined his head.
"Let's get you to lay down somewhere comfortable so we can begin," he said at last, rising to his feet. I stood with him and we decided the bed was the most comfortable spot, so I settled down on the blankets and laid down as Jo approached the side of the bed.
"It's going to feel odd and you are going to feel yourself pulled in certain directions, but do not follow those instincts. I want you to stay with me, listen to me, and only do what I say," he said, and when I opened my mouth to protest, Jo touched his finger to his hips to silence me before continuing, "This procedure isn't flawless, mind you. If you get off track, we won't be able to get back on track again. It's difficult to stay the course, but you must if you want to find what it is you're looking for, so I must reiterate that you listen to exactly what I say at all times."
"And if I don't?"
"You will get lost and you will be alone."
"Tsk," I settled back down on the bed and closed my eyes, "Please. I've been alone my entire life. Loneliness doesn't scare me." Jo didn't say anything about that thankfully, but I could still feel him beside me as he lowered himself down on the bed and I felt it sink slightly from his weight.
"I want you to count backwards from five when I start this song, do you understand?"
"Uh, sure, whatever."
I waited a moment to hear a song, then a strange noise started up. It didn't quite sound like a song, but it was certainly something that caught my attention and held it. It was a strange haunting melody almost with really high notes, but also really low notes. It was soothing and soft and quiet. For a moment, I thought this was total bullshit. What the hell was this soft baby song supposed to do to trigger my memories?
"Five," Jo reminded. I sighed.
"Five."
"Four."
"Four."
"Three..."
"Th... ree..."
"T... wo."
One.
Confused, I blinked because, while I could still hear the music, it was very soft and almost more like background noise, everything else was different. I found myself standing on some kind of strange shiny black platform. I looked down at myself, except I wasn't seeing my current self. Weirdly, I was looking at a younger version of myself. Very small, very tiny, almost a fucking baby, really.
"Good," Jo's voice said from somewhere, making me stiffen and look around, "You've made it."
"Made it to where?"
"Your subconscious. What we're going to do is we're going to walk through your memories until we find the memory we need in order to know exactly who it is that we're up against."
"Okay... And how do we do that?"
"In front of you, you'll see three doors."
"What doors--" No sooner had I finished speaking did three doors appear in front of me. I blinked, looking at each door. They all looked the same, except it was almost like they were getting older and more worn further to the right you got.
"Open the first door, the least used," Jo instructed. I frowned, eyeing the door warily at first before I came forward and reached up to open the door. I pushed it open and went through the doorway and a moment later, I found myself changing. I wasn't a kid anymore. I was a teenager. Relieved, I found myself muscular and hulking again. I ran my hands up and down my thick arms in relief before looking up to see one of the doctors from the compound washing his hands in a sink. Behind him, I saw a version of myself yanking up my pants.
The other me looked just the way I was supposed to. Huge, muscular, sure a little twitchy, but I always was after the injections. I ached to reach over to the counter to grab the little black box where they kept my shots.
"Your vitals look excellent," the doctor was saying, "Although, I highly encourage you to start perhaps taking mood supplements or something to relax you."
"Why the fuck do I need to relax?" Other me asked with a snort. The doctor frowned when he looked up.
"Your guardian tells me you're a bit too chaotic sometimes, aggressive, which is certainly a side effect of the medication--"
"How is that a bad thing when I'm a soldier, idiot? I sure as fuck ain't gonna defend the Mother with a feather duster and tea time."
"No, but anger has some bad side effects in and of itself. Your blood pressure will skyrocket and it can be dangerous for your heart. Plus, attacking out of aggression isn't actually a good thing, contrary to what someone may have told you--"
"Look, asshole, I'm just here to get the wonder shot in my ass so I can kick ass and take names. I don't need you to lecture me on my attitude. I've had people telling me about my attitude even before the medications, so suck my dick." I slammed the door shut behind me as I walked out, leaving the doctor to stand there with a frown. The memory faded away, grew fuzzy and blurry on the outer ages before fading away in the middle.
Sounded like every doctor visit I'd ever had, so what's the big deal with that?
I didn't get a chance to ask Jo or anything, because a second later, the scenery around me changed from black to slowly clearing up to another memory.
I was sitting at a table in the cafeteria, chewing on the chicken bones left over from my soup when a shadow fell over me and I looked up, but somehow, the fucking light was hitting me right in the eyes so I couldn't make out who it was.
"What the fuck do you want?" I asked, because apparently past me recognized who it was, but I couldn't quite make out the face.
"A proposal," the person said, and I strained to make out their voice, but it sounded so strange. It was rough and almost mechanical, like he'd practiced this a thousand times. Past me laughed.
"Yeah right. Take your proposal and shove it up your ass. I could take you down in two seconds flat. Don't fucking tempt me, pervert," I responded. By now, our conversation was apparently attracting attention before a few students were whispering and laughing amongst themselves as they peeked over at us.
"I am not taking no for an answer," the person standing over me sneered, "I challenge you to marriage. And for your information, by the end of it, you will be mine." Past me rolled his eyes and shoved the lunch tray back on the table, sending it flying to the floor and making a few students jump to avoid getting splashed with leftovers.
"Oh, please. I'm about to put you six feet under, asshole."
"We shall see about that."
Weird, I noted as the memory faded away. I couldn't for the life of me remember anyone ever proposing to me. No one liked me. No one would marry me. On top of that, everyone was fucking terrified of being killed if they went up against me, so what was this guy's problem?
A strange static started up around me in the darkness. I scowled, feeling the hairs on my arms stand up as I looked up.
"Four?" Jo's voice, but it sounded further away than last time.
"Hey, what's going on?" I demanded, turning around to see where the door had gone, except there was nothing behind me. Nothing, but absolute darkness and that strange static.
"F... our?" Jo's voice was garbled, like something was swallowing the sound of his voice. Confused, I did a full turn to see if I could at least locate the sound of his voice fading, but it was like it was coming out of nowhere.
"What's going on?" I looked up, turning to see past me standing behind a set of bars. I scowled, narrowing my eyes because something about this memory was very familiar. I was wearing my professional uniform, which meant I was on a mission, but behind bars? It didn't look like the Mother's dungeons, but it did look like a prison of some kind.
I turned to see who I was speaking to and saw someone standing in the shadows across from my cell. I cocked my head, coming forward to try and get a good look at the guy.
"You are being placed under arrest," the person said, and something about their voice sent chills over my skin, "For raising your hand against the Mother."
"Bullshit," past me fired back, "She was torturing a fucking kid."
"She was experimenting on a traitor. It is not your place to judge the Mother, and for that, your sentence is punishable by death."
"Fine. Kill me then."
"Oh no," the person said, making both the current me and past me frown, "You see, you're ever so lucky, Four. Because it just so happens that you are being allowed to live, despite your treachery."
"I don't understand."
"Of course not," the person laughed, and there was something very... eerie about their voice. I blinked a few times as that static started to infiltrate the memory. It was like watching bits and pieces come through on a broken television. The air around me seemed to almost become charged with electricity. Chills crept over my skin and I stiffened, taking a step back as I turned around, only to find darkness. I moved away from the darkness, but it seemed as if I were only sinking further and further into it. A sudden chill swept over me, like someone had opened a door on a cold winter night and the gust of it hit me in the face and suddenly I found myself laying on my back on a very cold, cobblestoned floor. I blinked a few times, because my vision was oddly blurry.
I groaned as strange aches and pains began to erupt in my bones. I rolled over slowly, pressing my cheek against the cold floor. I heard chains rattling and blinked my eyes open to see a fuzzy tilting version of my hands that appeared to be chained to a wall under a very tiny little window with bars on it.
"Jo?" I mumbled.
"W... ake up! Four!"
Jo's voice was so far away. I could barely hear him anymore.
The sound of a door opening and closing with a loud rattle. Confused, I rolled back over to see what was going on, but suddenly a bright light shone in my face and I hissed, turning my head away. I saw a shadow move toward me and cursed, lifting my leg and kicking whoever it was right in the groin. I heard a loud oomph, followed by cursing, and strangely, laughter.
"This is the fourth time he's got you," came the laughter, "Watch him get you so hard you won't be able to procreate." There was some cursing before the shadow lunged at me again. I went to kick him again, but he caught me by the leg and hoisted it up high, making me gasp as I was almost lifted entirely off the floor by my ankle. I grunted, straining and writhing to get away, but for some reason, I couldn't move very well.
"He's still not weak enough," came a garbled voice from beyond the light.
"Oh, I dunno, the fact that I can actually pick him up now is kind of impressive. It took Eilon almost two hours to even get him here in the first place because he was so big. He's probably half that size now."
"No. Give him another month in this hole."
"Seriously? Ugh. Come on, he might not be able to handle us in a month. We want him weak enough, but not so weak that he dies the moment we touch him."
"What's this we nonsense? Who said you were given permission to be near him?"
"Well, A) You guys never would've gotten him here if it wasn't for me. And B) I was told that I could play with him as much as I pleased after you and Eilon have had your way with him."
"Eilon? Absolutely not. He's not big on sharing."
"No, but he'll be pissed if you don't let him after all he went through to get him here too. You can't have him all to yourself if you want this to work."
"I could simply kill you, and Eilon."
"You could, but the Mother would be quite upset if she learned that you killed two of her strongest soldiers over a traitor."
There was some pause. I squirmed against the grip on my ankle, groaning as the blood rushed into my head. A second later, I hit the ground and gasped in pain as my head slammed into the stones. My vision blacked out for a moment and I lifted my legs with the intention to start kicking as I felt the shadow move closer. Another grip on my leg and a second later, there was a sickening crack that reverberated through my body and a scream sailed up my throat and burst past my lips.
One second I was laying on the floor in some cell in darkness, and the next second, I was shooting up in bed in my room in Hacian. The scream roared through the room and it took me a moment to realize that I wasn't alone in the room with Joxeia anymore.
Hades and Lucifer were also there with River and Ryk by the door.
My scream made everyone in the room jump and whirl around.
I lunged off the bed and immediately ran to the bathroom to puke in the toilet. I choked up strings of saliva that oozed into the toilet as I panted for breath, blinking rapidly past the images assaulting my brain. I saw the cells I'd been in, the shadowy figures, heard their garbled rough voices.
"I absolutely did not give you permission to do this," came Hades's angry voice from the bathroom door, "You probably just set his recovery back by six months!"
"He asked me to," Jo answered simply.
"Oh, so if he asked you to wipe our existence from the face of the universe, you'd do that too?"
"Don't be dramatic. He wanted to see what he could remember and I gave him the tool to do it. It's not my fault he didn't listen to my instructions."
"The kid probably hasn't followed instructions since he was four-years-old, asshole, of course he isn't going to listen to what you say--"
"Enough," Lucy said firmly, "You are not helping by arguing."
"He's right, we should..." The sound of Ryk's voice trailed as I realized someone was holding the hair back from my face as I leaned over on the toilet, gasping for breath. I peered through watery eyes to see River standing beside me with a stern look on his face, his fingers threaded through my hair as he held it back. My vision blurred.
"Are you alright?" River's voice asked, but he sounded far away. I blinked tiredly, reaching up with the intention to remove his hand from my hair, except I was abruptly so tired I couldn't hold myself up anymore. I slumped over and thank fuck River caught me before I could kiss another fucking toilet seat.