Song recommendations for the chapter
IDFC - Black Bear
Pretty toxic revolver -Machinegunkelly
Woo - Rihanna
Ghost town -Benny
Consume - Chase Atlantic
Sorry - Halsey
|I have heller feelings for you . I act like i don't fucking care , like they're not even there. Because I'm so fucking scared. But I'm only a fool for you|
Hardin's POV
I rubbed my hands together as i walked out of the dressing room . I walked over to the large windows in front of me , my brown eyes taking in the scenery below.
The streets were lighted by the streetlights and the dim stars above. The night outside seemed to be very flaccid .
It was the same type of scene i had gotten used to each time i got up here. I could feel myself suffocating. It hurts and aches, i felt dizzy. The air was stiff due to the number of staff present in the large room.
The music above was booming as if we were all living in speakers. I didn't want to be around anyone right now but i had no choice. It had been two days since I'd been discharged from the hospital but I still felt lifeless.
The moment i stepped into the club last night when Seth had invited me to hang out with the others , i could feel the tenseness radiating off of everyone , especially my two closest friends , Dayn and Leone. I couldn't blame them though.
Not once had they spared me a glance since I had been discharged. They didn't even talk to me unless it was business related . The cold treatment from my friends , how wonderful.
I leaned my forehead against the cold glass as i reminisced about the memory of what happened to me a week ago . The panic on everyone's faces and the worried one of a particular person .
Flashback
I felt myself being pulled back into consciousness as i jolted my upper body upward harshly. My eyes shot open as i gasped for air. I could feel pain in my chest and a burning sensation in my throat as i coughed frantically.
I could hear sighs of relief all around me and all i can think about was what happened for me to be in this situation. I blinked profusely trying to remember every recent event that happened before this.
I remembered going to the art gallery near my apartment in the afternoon. I remembered that woman trying to make a move on me . I remembered Adam calling me and telling me that Dayn was on a date with Sydney. I remembered getting angry and drinking a lot of alcohol . I remembered barging into Dayn's apartment and ruining his date and him kicking me out. I remembered going to the graveyard but after that..... everything else was a blur.
I felt drenched and surely i was . I breathed lightly as my body shivered from the coldness of the water on my skin and clothes .
I could feel warm hands covering mine as i looked up at the ceiling. I didn't want to face any of my friends right now. But then i was startled when i heard a familiar voice call out ,"Can someone please get a towel"
My eyes darted towards the source of the voice . Sydney? I swear my heart skipped a beat when i felt her straddling me and embracing me in her warmth. I tensed at the feeling of her body against mine. Why was she here, after everything i had done?
My eyes were droopy and i could feel my self slipping into and out of consciousness. I wanted to embrace her back but i couldn't so my hands remained at my side.
"I ..you.."my voice came out as croaky as i tried to gather my words. What was i even going to say . I had a lot i wanted to say but this wasn't the time so i just said what i knew i had to.
"I'm...I'm sorry,"i whispered against her ear . I was apologizing, that was a first . There were a lot of things i was apologizing for. For starters, i didn't tell her why Luca had disappeared. I hadn't been honest to her about why i wanted to help her find him. I shut her out the few times that we fought. I didn't open up to her when she did with me. I lashed out at her that night at the club. I kept pushing her away . I ruined her date with my friend when all she was doing was trying to be happy again after me.
"I'm here,"was all she said , her head lying against my chest . I could feel her heart beat against mine, calm and relaxed ,"I'm here ," she repeated
End of flashback
As messed up as it may have sounded , i was glad i saw her there. It kind of gave me a glimpse of hope that maybe she didn't see me as the terrible monster i am.
I couldn't stop thinking about her while I was at the hospital. I had so much i wanted to say but for starters i didn't know where to start , and i highly doubt she wanted to see me again after what I did to her.
Even if odds were in my favour , she wasn't mine and i wasn't hers. I once was , but i screwed that up because of my demons . The ones that pressured me into making the wrong decisions and saying the wrong things.
We just couldn't happen anymore , she belonged to my best friend. I couldn't stand the idea of that , which had led to my previous rampage. Not once had we ever had a problem when it came down to sharing women . But she , she wasn't just any other girl that we tossed around. I had a particular bondage with her that goes way back.
I was snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of the door opening and sounds of footsteps and chatter. Out came the rest of my friends dresses up according to the dress code, which was black , for the event .
I walked towards the mirror trying to distract myself from the obvious tension in the air upon them seeing me. I watched them walk pass me and sat by the couches at the other end of the dressing room . Adam had insisted on getting stylists for today's Halloween HYBE party and it was our last function before the guys and i would head out for our vacation.
I could distinctly hear them laughing and joking around as they took pictures of each other. I gulped , taking in my reflection in the mirror as i fixed the sleeves of my turtle neck , pretending not to notice the cold treatment i was being given.
In the distance i heard Leone say , "I'll be back " . I watched him through the reflection of the mirror as he made slow hesitant steps towards me , his hands in the pockets of his designer suit.
"Hey,"he said with a vague tone as he stepped in front of me . He reached out to fix the collar part of my turtle neck , carefully rearranging the position of the chain around my neck . I watched him flick a loose strand of my slicked back hair away from my forehead. He raised my face by pushing his index against my chin as he eyed me for a second or so .
I remained unfazed by his actions , out of all of us , Leone was the most touchy and skinship was his form of affection. We had all gotten used to it over the years. He sighed before standing next to me , looking at his reflection in the mirror.
"Hie,"i responded, fiddling with my fingers . I could tell he was torn between giving me the cold shoulder and talking to me . He never liked seeing any of us fight. That was just his character.
"You good?" He questioned , glancing my way. He offered a faint smile , one that didn't reach his eyes. He tugged at the collar of his shirt .
"Still feel like shit,"i heard him chuckle,"but it's...getting better i guess."
We stayed silent for a moment before he broke the silence ,"let me take a picture of you " he offered. I didn't object as i handed him my smart phone. I stood still with a blank face waiting for him to snap a picture.
"Could you at least try to look less dead,"he teased and i couldn't help but chuckle as he snapped a few pictures of me.
"I like this one,"Leone pointed at the first picture he had taken. I nodded in agreement,"same here . "
"Let me edit it in black and white then post it. Since that's kind of your 'Instagram vibe',"i rolled my eyes at his comment but didn't retaliate. I took a hold of my phone once he was done then posted the picture .
"Leone ,Hardin" i heard Seth's deep voice call out for us . We turned to look at him ,"come over here so we can take a group shot before going down" he requested .
I walked behind Leone as we made our way towards the rest of the guys. I awkwardly stood between Leone and Dayn as female Hybe staff members began to take several pictures of us.
"Don't we all just love a good family photo ,"Jordan said sarcastically as he squinted his eyes due to the flashing of the cameras . We all laughed at his remark.
I fidgeted in my spot then glanced over to Dayn who was casually posing for the photographers. I raised my hand a bit before dropping it to my side. I mentally cursed myself for creating the tension between the younger and i . Once the staff was done , i saw Dayn walk away behind the rest of the guys but rushed after him.
Hesitantly , tapped his shoulder ,"hey,"i said nervously . I watched him look at me with a blank expression , crossing his arms over his chest. Oh my.
"Hi,"his voice was cold and nonchalant. I gulped as i shifted from one foot to the other. I had to try to start a conversation.
"I want your advice on my outfit .Should I wear the jacket on top or should I just leave it like this ,"i blurted out , referring to my outfit , not sure where to start.
He eyed me up and down for a moment then bluntly said ,"don't wear the jacket. Keep it like that . It'll be easier to get down if you wanna get laid" i almost choked on air at that statement
"I didn't really plan for that,"i replied. He simply shrugged his shoulders and started walking away but i stopped him again.
"Wait . I want to talk ,"i said softly and he walked back to me . His stone cold expression didn't fall ,"i want to apologize"
He scoffed , rolling his eyes,"for what exactly. I'm pretty sure there's quite a lot to apologize for brother".
"For ruining your date "
"Why'd you do it,"he said , glaring at me.
"When Adam mentioned it to me , i don't know what came over me . I got really drunk and angry and i ..."
"Weren't you the same guy that said you didn't care what she did,"he scoffed bitterly,"you said she was 'just a good fuck' so why get so worked up over it"
The words got caught in my mouth and i didn't know exactly what to say. He took a step closer to me ,"i...i don't know"i lied
"Yes you do know,"he shook his index at me ,"you were jealous of seeing me happy with her , of seeing her happy with me that you just had to ruin my date"
"I understand and..."he cut me off , shaking his head .
"No you don't ,"he said lowly,"listen and listen good . Not only did you break my trust by spitting out my past like it was just something you can go telling everyone about but you also had to go and harm yourself by drowning" his cold facial expression faltered a bit and i could read sadness in his tone , he was hurt.
"You could have died back there! Do you know how terrified i was by that thought? You have been my friend for the longest out of the rest of them . Those years you disappeared , i fell into a hole of depression and loneliness. Imagine what i would've been like if you really died on me. How do you you think i would've survived knowing you did that . And the worst part is , it wasn't even the first time ",his voice cracked a bit , his chest heaving up and down unevenly.
My throat went dry and i didn't know how to respond to that so i remained silent as he continued.
"I felt so guilty when i came to see you at the hospital Hardin. I thought i had lost you back there. Everyone was so worried and all for what, huh? I thought i was the reason you did that"
"Now you weren't i..."
"Shut it. How would you have felt if the roles had been reversed you asshole. Everybody was so worried , Sydney was worried and terrified. Did she deserve to go through that? To see you like that?"
Then it dawned upon me , he wasn't just because i ruined his date by spilling his dark pasts. He was angry at me and himself because he thought he was the cause of it but he wasn't. He was worried. Even after what i did to him , he was still worried.
He took a step back , shaking his head at me in disappoinment.
"You're right . I am an asshole . You didn't deserve that and she didn't either....i don't deserve her "
He turned his back on me as he walked away but stopped at the door , glancing over his shoulder hut not looking directly at me , "you're right . You don't deserve her"was all he said before following the rest of the guys out .
•••••••
3rd person POV.
"Woo"Rose gaped loudly as the two went over the pictures they had taken of each other. Vanessa leaned over Rose's shoulders , also taking a look at the pictures .
"We look hot ,"Vanessa nodded to herself contently as she leaned against the kitchen counter , sipping the last of her whine.
"I think I'll post this one "Rose pointed at her personal favorite with a small smile ,"it looks nice"
"You look nice generally,"Vanessa complimented giving her a light kiss on the cheek to avoid messing their make up, "and I'll post this one . I look so fuckable" she smirked to herself
"God the friends i have ,"Rose rolled her eyes
Sydney returned from her bedroom with the small Louis Vuitton bag she had left . She smacked her lips together , spreading her lipgloss over her lips evenly .
"Look at my two beautiful dates,"Sydney smiled as she approached them.
"Well one"Vanessa pointed to herself,"Rose is already chuffed"she winked .
"You look really pretty,"Vanessa complimented the younger ,"let me take a picture of you baby" Vanessa said pulling her smartphone up and snapping a photo
"Hot,"Rose nodded in approval,"definitely hot"
"I feel kinda fat ,"she pouted looking at the picture ,"i gained some weight recently . I don't like that"she crossed her arms over her chest with a huff.
Rose shook her index at her ,"you've gained weight in the right places . Your ass looks really cute"
"Very,"Vanessa immediately agreed ,making her turn a full 180 degrees so her back was facing them ,"very cute ass" she teasingly gave Sydney a pat on her ass, making her squeel .
Sydney looked down at herself with a small smile. She was dressed in a black corset look satin mini dress along with knee high leather boots . Her hair was made into a tight high pony tail,"you think so?" She said insecurely
"Your body is gorgeous oh sweet date,"Vanessa snuck her hand around her waist , her chin on Sydney's shoulder.
"Too bad my date's gonna be stolen the second we head into that party by Mr 'Big dick energy' ,"she winked .
"aww look at my beautiful babe getting all shy and stuff" she teased
Sydney covered her face , hiding her flushed cheeks ,"stop " she whined.
Rose pointed at the picture of the three of them together with a wide smile , gaining the others' attention.
"Don't you find it kinda funny how were all wearing knee high boots and black . We look like sexy vampires,"Rose dramatically flipped her hair over her shoulder .
"We definitely give off the 'you want me but can't fuck with me ' vibes"Vanessa giggled to herself, the others laughing along with her.
"Can you help me put this on ," Syd requested handing Rose the Kitty Couture bracelet she was finding difficult to put on.
"Woah,"Vanessa gasped , her eyes wide staring at the piece of jewelry,"is that....IS THAT!?....oh my fucking god it's actually Kitty Couture on your wrist. That shit is freaking expensive"
"That bracelet is probably worth more than my car and this apartment,"Rose states once she finished helping the younger .
Sydney's fingers glazed the shiny piece of jewelry with a small smile remembering where it came from.
"Leone bought it for me that night when we all went out" Sydney shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.
"Meanwhile we were thrift shopping that very same night,"Vanessa joked .
"Does everyone have everything they need?"Sydney announced , looking at her cellphone ,"The car's here"
"You good?"Rose asked Vanessa who nodded
"Then let's go" Rose stated as they exited their apartment for the elevator. Once the three climbed into the elevator , the doors closed behind them.
"Let's take a mirror selfie together guys ,"Vanessa chimed excitedly , pulling her friends close to her and into the frame. She held her smartphone up so it was capturing all of them and snapped a picture.
Once done , all three circled the phone to see the results . They gaped upon seeing how gorgeous it came out.
"Oh this is definitely making it on my posts,"Syd clapped her palms together.
"Agreed,"the others said simultaneously as they walked out of the lobby heading for the black SUV waiting for them outside .They were greeted by the familiar tall muscular man who opened the door for them .
Sydney had already made herself familiar with Henry , the body guard and subtly greeted him before climbing into the vehicle with the rest of her friends.
"Good evening Ladies,"Savannah, who was seated in front of them called out . Her dark red painted lips curved into a smile as she took them in , "you all look gorgeous"
The three girls glanced at each other , startled by her suddenly sweet persona ,"thank you,"they said in a n unsure tone.
"Thanks for sending the outfits ,"Syd thanked the older .
"It's customary . Don't be surprised to see boxes and boxes of different clothing and jewelry being delivered to you frequently,"she stated , her attention on her phone ,"it's just part of advertising the clothing lines as often possible"
"I see ,"Sydney nodded, sinking into her seat ,"so what exactly is going to go down at this party"
"Nothing,"Savannah said
"Excuse me?" Sydney questioned as she stared at her ,dumbfounded.
Savannah dropped her phone to her lap and turned around , so her full attention was on Sydney.
"Today's Halloween party is an informal party. It's just a get- together of artists who are based in this city. Just to have a fun time . There aren't any sponsors or media around , except for journalists outside of the building. It's just like a party with friends" She explained ,"in light of this....you are allowed to drink" she said but immediately regretted it once she saw the excited expression on Vanessa's face at the mention of alcohol.
"Oh my god!"she squeeled ,"all my idols in one room and alcohol. This party is the shit"
Savannah rubbed her temples and sighed frustratedly,"just don't get too drunk "she demanded before returning her attention to her smartphone.
Rose who had been quiet the entire time leaned over to syd , seeing how her expression was unreadable and she looked as if she was deep in thought,"hey. You good?"
Sydney released an uneasy breath as she offered a tight smile ,"just a bit anxious. Nothing to worry about "she reassured , staring out of the tinted windows.
The car became silent , everyone else busy on their phones whilst Sydney dived into deep thought
Sydney's POV
It was Halloween night and i was going to celebrate it with my best friends at the agency. I had invited Vanessa as mu plus one and Jackson , who had a pending contract with the agency had invited Rose as his plus one.
I subconsciously tugged at my ponytail as i nibbled in my lip . I wasn't really in the mood to party but i had no choice but to attend , and i had promised my friends i would have fun with them.
I felt my smartphone vibrate and pulled it from my purse and saw a message from Leone , asking if I was on my way. I immediately texted him saying i was before putting the phone back in my purse .
If i had to admit , i had actually really missed Leone. I hadn't really seen or spoken to Leone since the untimely meeting at Hardin's place on that dreaded day .
Speaking of Hardin...
I heard felt my phone vibrate once more so i opened it . This time it was a text from Dayn.
Dayn^-^
-see you when you get here?
- I'm on my way
-<3
I sighed switching my phone off , biting my lip. Since the day of Hardin's incident , i had been acting distant and i knew he felt it too .
I didn't want to hurt him but i just couldn't push away the idea of what happened to Hardin being my fault. I just felt like what happened was entirely to do with me and the guilt was eating me alive.
Maybe if i hadn't come between him and his friends then none of it would've happened. If i hadn't gone out with his best friend then maybe he wouldn't have gotten do infuriated to the point of wanting to hurt himself. It was all because of me. I had been oblivious to how my relationship with his friend had been affecting him.
I needed to make a decision tonight and it wasn't going to be an easy one. When i had opened up to my friends that morning i had realized something. Yes i did feel for Dayn , i like him a lot and that was no secret.
But then, i also realized that i still had something for Hardin and it went beyond caring for his wellbeing
Maybe i just needed a break from all this. A break from all of these men . I needed to get control of my life again.
I saw the tension between them the day Hardin crashed our date. The mistrust that was building between them . It was because of me . They needed a break from me too. Their friendship was breaking down with ne in the middle and i had to do something about it.
I'm making the right choice
3rs person's POV
A few minutes later the SUV slowed down in front of the HYBE building. There were loads of other cars lining up in front of them , people piling out of the cars and heading for the entrance.
The faces of the people weren't recognisable due to the blinding lights of the photographers crowded by the front of the building .
Savannah stood from the front and went to sit on the seat by the door . She snapped her perfectly manicured fingers at the girls who were staring out of the windows.
"Ladies,"her voice was sharp and demanding. The three immediately snapped their heads looking at her,"i want you to behave . Please"
"Will do ,"Vanessa winked at her . Savannah simply shook her head in disbelief before nodding her head to Henry who opened the door for them.
Savannah was the first to walk out and the girls speedily followed after her , keeping their heads low to prevent themselves from being blinded by the lights.
"Shit,"Vanessa sighed once they had entered the building ,"ooooohhhh I'm blinded by the lights" she sang, blinking profusely
"No but seriously,"Rose said also blinking repeatedly,"how do you handle that on a daily. I think imma be fucking blind just from tonight"
Sydney shrugged,"on a work day they aren't this many ,"she explained,"and i only use the front when I'm getting in but go out through the back so i don't encounter them"
"Girls ,"savannah called for them and the three followed her into the elevator leading to the top floor where the party was to be held.
Sydney's POV
We entered the large hall in which the party was being held and if i must say , the place looked absolutely amazing.
The large room was decorated with all kinds of Halloween decor , the kind that was fun but also chic and classy .
Loud music blasted through the room as more people gathered.
People i had seen in magazines , tv , fashion week , music videos , podcasts were all there in flesh - i was living my teenage dream. Celebrities and influencers of the agency were scattered around , some by the tables chatting along and taking pictures, some by the bar taking drinks . I literally couldn't believe my eyes
It was my first time being here with other public figures that were based in this city and i felt like i was on cloud nine.
I
felt Rose tug my arm and when i looked back at her , she pointed to one of the tables with a smile .
"I just spotted Jackson,"Rose yelled over the loud music ,"imma go . Have fun. Byeeee" and just like that she was gone.
I turned to my side and saw Vanessa who was also blinking at me with wide eyes .
"I have officially marked this as the best day of my entire life ,"Vanessa yelled , her eyes darting from one celebrity to another ,"is that..,"she squinted her eyes to properly get a good look under the dim lighting ,"...IS THAT LONDON KELLY?!"she bounced on her feet whilst her nails literally dug into the sleeves of my dress.
I turned to check if what she was saying was correct and for sure , he was standing a couple of meters from us , talking to other guests. Yupp it was him and his incredibly handsome face.
Upon noticing our staring , he glanced at us offering a small wave of the hand and a friendly smile. Vanessa and i immediately glances at each other before she squeeled once more.
"You must really be excited V,"i pulled up a tight smile . She stopped her bouncing and looked at me with a confused look.
"The fuck i am,"she stated flipping her hair over her shoulder ,"aren't you? I mean , look at the people around us ?!"
"I ..i am"i lied . She definitely didn't believe that .
"Are you okay?" She asked , stepping closer to me ,"you've been out of it these past two weeks . You're not even excited that we're literally breathing the same air as Payton Moormier who's like within 20 meters of our reach?!"she babbled so fast out if excitement.
"I am . I really am ," i sighed ," i just have a lot on my mind right now" she sighed before nodding understandingly.
"It's about the Dayn and Hardin situation , isn't it?" I simply nodded , looking down at my palms as tears started to accumulate at the brim of my eyes. I was being an emotional train wreck again.
I felt her engulf me in a tight hug , swinging me side to side in the process . She pulled away from the hug , smiling down at me as she cupped my cheeks.
"Do what you think is right,"she said stepping back . I simply nodded at her , not wanting to discuss any further.
Her eyes darted behind me for a second before her eyes widened a bit.
"Umm...,"she leaned closer to my ear , "don't freak out but London Kelly he....London freaking Kelly is walking towards us like...right now!"she whisper yelled , her hands squeezing my wrists.
My eyes widened as i cranked my neck , glancing over my shoulder and for sure in all his glory , he was walking towards us . I quickly turned back to my best friend squeezing her hand before putting on my most composed face , turning fully to face him.
"Hie there,"he said taking my shaky hand in his and shaking it .
"Um..hie,"i smiled widely , not believing my eyes .
"Syd Richards , correct?" I immediately nodded my head ,"nice to meet you. I'm London"
"Oh we definitely know who you are ,"i squeeled like a fan girl and he chuckled,"I'm a huge fan."
"Thank you so much,"he offered a smile which i gladly returned . I watched his eyes travel to the person standing beside me and my smile grew even wider.
I turned to my side and saw V literally frozen with the widest smile on her face,"oh this is my best friend . Vanessa" i introduced him to her.
I watched her eyes widen as he took her small hand in his , gently pecking it before offering her a bright smile. Oh Lord.
"Nice to meet you Vanessa" he kept on holding her hand
Looks like someone is lucky tonight , i thought to myself as i gave her a thumbs up from behind him.
"The pleasure is all mine ,"she said with the most evident blush even under the dim lighting,"I'm also a huge fan of yours "
"Really?"he smiled cheekily , keeping their hands together as they conversed.
"I'm obsessed with 'not so alone' in the i wanna be yours album . It's mind blowing" she complimented . I could see her eyes dart from his face to their intertwined hands . She was definitely loving this.
"Oh really,"he laughed lightly , his signature smile still plastered on his lips ,"Thank you .I'm honoured really. I'm glad you like it"
I watched them go back and forth , Vanessa clearly relaxed the more they talked . I guessed it was my que to leave and quietly walked away from them in search of a familiar face.
.......
The nagging feeling in my heart started again and i was getting more and more nervous by the second, rethinking my decision.
Was i going to be happy with this? I thought to myself. I shook my head rubbing my temple. It wasn't about me . It was about the happiness of the the people i cared about and their friendship.
I made my way around the crowded room , greeting everyone i came across . If i wasn't so anxious right now i would be having the time of my life .
I looked around the crowded space till i noticed a familiar figure in an all black suit and shirt , by the table at the far end of the room, leaning against the table , drinking from a beer bottle.
In front of him was Leone wearing a similar suit with a white shirt , also drinking from a beer bottle as the two conversed.
I took a deep breath and made my to the bar , giving subtle hello's to the people who passed by me. I reached Dayn and gently tap him on his shoulder, he tensed for a second , glancing over his shoulder.
Once his eyes meet mine , he raised his brows and his eyes widened , so did his smile.
"Syd,"he chirped happily as he took my in his arms , hugging me. I hugged him back tightly . I sunk into his embrace ,almost wanting to cry since this may be the last time hugging him.
"You look really nice ," he complimented , pulling away from me .
I smiled at him ,"you do too"
"I'm here too you know,"Leone waved his hand and i couldn't help but laugh as i hugged him ,"long time no see ,Syd"
"Too long,"i nodded , pulling away. I blinked repeatedly , to stop myself from crying .
Not now
I looked around and noticed Seth , Jordan , Adam and Jake seated by the table nearby , chatting away and i couldn't help but ask ,"why aren't you seated together?"
I watched Leone and Dayn briefly look at each other before Leone answered vaguely,"let's just say things are still tense"
"That's the least we can say ,"Dayn mumbled , sipping some of the beer.
"With Hardin?"i couldn't help but ask
"The rest of them think we should forgive Hardin and simply let it go,"Leone shrugged,"but we think he deserves the cold shoulder for what he did"
I felt a slight sting in my chest. So it is my fault. I felt the guilt in me rise . These guys had been friends for such a long time , brothers even . I saw how strong their bond was as now it was being strained by me.
Hardin was right , i was mingling with these guys and i clearly see the consequences of that.
The anxiety in me kicked in and i found myself walking away from them ,"i.. i need a drink" was all i said and before they could object , u walked away as fast as my legs could carry me.
I made it through the crowd and reached the bar , sighing in relief as i rubbed my temples frustratedly. I had to get it over with before i chickened out.
The bartender approached me , offering a welcoming smile,"good evening miss. What may i get you"
"Good evening. A double cherry - sweetener combo , please." He nodded and left me alone.
I sat there with my face in my palms. Dayn had done so much for me , he'd been there for me , opened up to me in ways that really touched me . I wanted to be with him but i couldn't be that selfish . I couldn't still have feelings for Hardin and claim to like Dayn as well. I couldn't shut my eyes from the friendship that i was ruining.
"Here you go miss,"the bartender returned placing the drink in front of me
"Thank you,"i whispered and watched him smile before walking away. I was about to reach for my shot when i felt a presence sitting beside me .
I turned my head around and my eyes instantly locked with the familiar brown eyes in front of me . My eyes widened as i took him in . His eyes widened too , seemingly surprised to see me.
He looked totally different from when i last saw him . Back then he looked so pale and lifeless but right now he looked fine as if nothing had happened before. His tanned caramel skin full of life and his hair a little bit longer. I felt my throat dry.
He tilted his head to the side , his eyes not leaving mine as a small smile made its way up his lips. He actually looked ....happy...to see me (?)
"Hey,"he finally greeted me , his voice not holding any hint of irritation
"Hie ,"i greeted back ,"i didnt know you'd been discharged from the hospital"
"I was released 2 days ago,"he said , his fingertips drumming on the counter top ,"how are you?"
"I'm..okay i guess,"i answered,"you"
"Been worse ,"he shrugged , now smiling genuinely. He parted his lips as if to say something else but didn't . Instead he took the beer being given to him and began to walk away ,"it was nice seeing you again" was all he said before walking away
My eyes darted towards him and watched as he made his way towards the table where Leone and Dayn were. I saw him say something then smile faintly but the two didn't respond . Dayn simply shrugged his shoulders and Leone looked torn and just returned a faint smile.
I watched him walk away from the table with his head lowered and went to sit with the others. I felt a tug at my heart and this just showed me the consequences of my interference in their friendship.
I had to do what was right. I gulped down my entire shot in one gulp and headed towards their table . I breathed deeply trying to control my tears but when my eyes met Dayn's , i couldn't control myself and a stray tear trickled down my cheeks .
"Syd,"his voice was laced in worry ,"what's wrong?"
"I...."my voice trailed off as i bit down a sob ,"I'm sorry. I really am . Whatever .. whatever is going on between us..it has to stop. It's over Dayn . I'm sorry"
I didn't wait for his response as i immediately turned on my heels and speedily walked away. My vision was blurred as i swerved past the crowd , exiting the large hallway.
I stopped in the middle of the secluded hallway , breathing heavily as i clutched at my chest , trying to suppress the pain but in vain .
I made the right choice i kept telling myself but my tears said otherwise.
Not even a couple of seconds passed and i heard heavy foot steps following after me . The footsteps stopped behind me and i felt his warmth from behind me . I couldn't look at him.
"Talk to me , Please"
I can't go back now
|Someone will love you but someone isn't me |
[A\N - don't forget to leave a vote♥⭐]