Rosie's POV:
My heart was well and truly shattered. I had given Millie absolutely everything and it still wasn't good enough. She had single-handedly both improved my mental health and then fucked it up. I recognised she was becoming distant, but I naively pushed it to the back of my brain so I didn't have to deal with it.
My whole body seemed to have shut down after I found out she was cheating on me. Part of me was still struggling to accept it. I was in denial. So many questions cascaded over my brain, waiting desperately to be answered. But I couldn't answer them - the only person who could was Millie. And I was in no hurry to talk to her again.
She was my first relationship, my first meaningful kiss, the first person (except Lucy and Keira) who I shared personal things with. That's what makes the betrayal even worse. She knows me that well that she must've known how much this would hurt me. Having never been in a relationship before, I didn't know whether any of this was my fault. I presumed it had something to do with me - was I not good enough? Living in Sunderland, I was regularly told that I would never be good enough for someone. Moving to Manchester helped to restore some self-confidence in me, and now that had all been broken down again.
While Lucy and Keira were figuring things out with Barca, Leah decided to stay up in Manchester for a few extra days. Her injury was getting better every day and I had full confidence that she would be back on the pitch by December. My injury, however, was getting worse. Small things like bending over to tie my shoe laces had begun to send shooting pains up my back. After sitting in a chair too long I would struggle to straighten my back. Lucy had noticed and commented a few times but she was way too stressed to even engage in a conversation in anything other than Barcelona.
It had been 3 weeks since I began to feel pain in my back and I was beginning to become slightly concerned. The past few days I had spent in bed obviously hadn't helped, but it was starting to effect my every day life now. Just like everything else that concerned me, I pushed it to the back of my brain and tried to forget I even thought about it.
As I was lying peacefully in bed, no tears rolling down my face for once, I heard the door slowly push open. Immediately recognising the animal as a small body jumped on my bed and began to wag its tail in my face, "Narla! Do you want to have some cuddles with me?". She tried to push herself inbetween my body, but before she could get comfortable, a voice came from the door, "Narla hasn't come for cuddles, she's come to tell you to get out of bed". Feeling a weight on the bottom of my bed, I looked up and saw Leah sitting there with a sorry look on her face. She explained, "staying in bed all day isn't healthy Rosie. You haven't left this room in 2 days or eaten much". I mumbled, "my room is warm and comfortable and I haven't been hungry". Leah stood up, walked towards my window and opened my curtains, "finally, some sunlight let into your room". Rolling my eyes at her, I sighed, "in the nicest way possible, please leave". Leah chuckled, "no way, you're going to get out of bed and we're going out". I began to protest, but she interrupted me, "you have no say in this matter. You're going to have a shower, put on some fresh clothes, eat a proper meal, drink something other than Red Bull and come for a walk with me and Narla". Gritting my teeth, I knew I couldn't win this battle so I gave in and rose from my bed.
It was slightly embarrassing for Leah Williamson to see me in such a terrible, messy way. She was the captain of the England team and one of my childhood rolemodels. And now she was in my bedroom telling me what to do.
Although I would never admit it to Leah, the shower and clean clothes did make me feel slightly better. Most of the pain had been evicted from my body through tears, and the remaining emotions were just full of anger. Anger at Millie for doing this to me. Anger at Ruby. Anger at myself for not noticing. If I had realised earlier, I would have been able to protect myself from all of this pain. I brushed my hair for what seems like the first time in forever, and even though my outfit of joggers and a football shirt was simple, it immediately made me feel refreshed.
Through a lunch of chicken wraps and ready salted crisps, Leah informed me that Lucy and Keira were currently looking at houses in Barcelona in the study. After switching on my phone for the first time since my breakup, I receieved a few messages from my family, friends and even some from Millie. Briefly scanning the ones from my ex, I laughed sarcastically at how pathetic she was. Did she really think I would be able to forgive her? Cheating is by far one of the worst things a human being can do. The betrayal of trust and everything else in between makes the truth so hard to believe. From my opinion, I want to think i've done nothing wrong. But I know that there must be something i've done that's made Millie feel like she has to cheat on me and not tell me.
Leah saw me deep in thought and gripped my free hand resting on the table, "bad things are going to happen from time to time, but that doesn't mean the rest of your life will be bad". I muttered only loud enough for her to hear it, "it feels like it will be". She smiled softly, "trust me, no one goes back to full happiness straight after a breakup. You have to be patient and everything will fall into place". I nodded slightly and told her, "I can't wait to get away from here. Even though i'm leaving all my family and friends, I just need a break". Leah chuckled, "I get it, but when I need a break I go to my mum's house, not Barcelona". Even though my body is on the edge of shutting down completely, Leah somehow manages to give me a little bit of hope.
After lunch, I asked Leah, indicating to the study door, "do you think they'll mind if I go in?". She looked up from her phone and shook her head, "of course not. Don't take too long though, we're going out in 30 minutes". Nodding my head in understandment, I slowly made my way over to the study. Lucy responded to my knock with a "yeah?" and I entered the room. As soon as she saw it was me, Keira's face lit up, "Rosie? Did Leah force you out of bed?". Grinning at how well she knew her best friend, I replied, "yes, but i'm glad she did". Lucy opened her arms, trying to suggest for me to sit on her lap. Crossing my arms, I shook my head lightly, "I'm not 8, I'll be 16 in 2 months". She raised an eyebrow but kept her arms open. Eventually, I gave in with a sigh and went over to sit on her knee, leaning my body into hers. She said quietly, "I'm not ready for you to turn 16, you're still my little girl". I rolled my eyes but she caught me, "don't roll your eyes...I'm being serious". Smiling gently at eachother, she asked carefully, "how are you doing?". Nodding my head, trying to convince both myself and Keira and Lucy, I said, "better...I had a shower and put clean clothes on. And I ate a full meal. Also, I haven't had a Red Bull in over 12 hours". Keira laughed at the last part, "wow, that must be a new record for you". Knowing that they both didn't approve of my sudden liking to energy drinks, I told them, "it makes me happy". Lucy huffed into my shoulder, "the only reason i'm not making a big deal about it is because you're not playing football. If you were, I would definitely not let you buy it. It's damaging your health..." Keira interrupted her, "Luce, she's 15 and it's only an energy drink. Be thankful she's not doing drugs like most teenagers are now".
We began to search through houses together and I tried to sit up straighter but Lucy noticed my discomfort, "you okay?". Nodding my head, I positioned my back in a position that was less painful while she continued to talk, "is your back hurting?". How did she know exactly what was the problem? I nodded once again, "yeah but it's fine". Keira asked, "have you taken any pain medication?". This time I shook my head and lied straight through my teeth, "it's not painful". Lucy eyed me, almost as if she didn't completely believe me, but thankfully they both left it there.
Leaving Lucy and Keira to search for a house in Barcelona together, I walked back into the kitchen where Leah was sitting on her phone. Noticing my arrival, she raised an eyebrow, "bored of them already? You've only been in there 10 minutes". Shaking my head and smiling softly at her comment, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down. Leah asked, "you okay?". People have been asking me this a lot lately. I appreciate their concern, but sometimes I just want to be left to myself to think. Since coming to live with Lucy and Keira nearly a year ago, we have always been open and honest about pretty much everything. But sometimes I worry that they won't understand, or that they'll blame me for my problems, or that they won't think it's important. I suppose that high level of openness and trust would come with time.
Leah said my name, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked in her eyes and explained, "I don't understand how my mum and Keira are so happy together, you and Jordan are so happy together, but I've just been cheated on". She gave me an empathetic look and motioned for me to join her, "Come here...". When we were sitting shoulder to shoulder, she continued to talk, "even though we all seem happy together, we have our problems too. Nothing's ever as simple as it looks. You can't compare your relationship to ours...we're all in our mid-twenties or early-thirties, you're only 15. You still have a lot of things to learn and a lot of relationships to be in before you'll finally feel happy and settled with someone". I nodded my head, absorbing Leah's advice. She always said things as they were, no bullshitting.
We sat talking to eachother about relationships for a bit. She was asking me about Millie and I was asking her about Jordan and all of her previous girlfriends. It was weird how such a simple conversation could make me feel way better about the whole situation. But it also made me question, did I love Millie? I think I did. And as hard as it is letting go, I need closure - and to get closure, I have to shut the door on our relationship. Another thing Leah told me was, "the way she left you tells you everything you need to know". Despite her cheating on me, she had told me that she loved me. That reassured me that our relationship was real and meant something to her as well as me.
The study door opened and a pair of arms wrapped themselves around my neck and shoulders. Automatically recognising the touch as Lucy's, I relaxed. How did she always calm me down when I subconsciously needed it? Leah asked Keira, "how does it feel to be moving countries?". Lucy sat on the left side of me as Keira replied, "surreal, I can't quite believe that we'll be over there by Christmas". Leah continued to question, "have you found a house yet? And what about driving? Are you taking your cars or are you buying another one over there?". Keira chuckled at Leah's want to know everything, "we think we've found the right place, just need Rosie's approval. And we're going to be buying 2 cars over there so when we come home we don't have to bother with transportation". Leah asked another question, but this time she seemed to be dreading the answer, "when do you plan on moving there then?". Lucy sighed and replied, "we're planning to go and look at the house this weekend and then hopefully buy it. We'll probably start moving our stuff over as soon as we have access to the house and then everything will be ready for us when we move in. If nothing changes, it looks like we'll be there for the end of the month". Keira added on, "obviously there's other things to be sorted out, but we can do that when we're over there". Leah nodded slowly, looking slightly upset, "I just can't believe you're going. Even though I live in London and we don't see eachother a lot, it's nice to know that my best friends are safely in Manchester. And now you're going to be in Barcelona". Keira tried to reassure her, "we'll come back for visits and you can come and see us whenever you're free". Leah bit her lip and sighed, "and we'll see eachother on England camps...".
Me, Lucy and Keira were all about to embark on this new, strange journey. Lucy had some experience with moving to Lyon for three years, but me and Keira were completely new to this. Despite all the anxious feelings I had about it, I knew it was the right thing to do. England has been my home for fifteen, nearly sixteen, years but it's time to move on.
As promised, Leah dragged us all out the house on a family walk. Even though she wasn't a biological mother or sister or aunt or cousin, she definitely felt like it. After having so many supportive people, like her, in my life, I couldn't imagine it without them.
October had turned out to be pretty unpredictable with the weather. One day you could get away with wearing shorts and a hoodie, but other days thick winter coats were needed. Today, thankfully, it was a mild, rainless day. Despite not having an idea where we were going, I didn't mind it. In fact, I quite enjoyed walking into the unknown. I couldn't remember the last time I actually left the house - it's crazy how much a breakup can affect your life.
Letting the fresh air hit my exhausted face, I asked a random question, "do you think there'll be snow for Christmas? I've always dreamt of having a white Christmas". Leah laughed lightly, "not in Spain...what are you doing for Christmas anyway?". Lucy rubbed her forehead while her and Keira walked hand in hand, "we haven't really planned anything...depends what our families are doing. We might come back and have everyone at our house or we might just stay in Barcelona". Leah pointed out, "that'll be weird...first Christmas away from family and in another country". Keira changed the subject, "anyway, we're not going yet so let's stop talking about it". We all laughed slightly at her desperate attempt not to get emotional with the thought of leaving everyone and having Christmas as just the three of us.
Last Christmas was just the three of us, but it was different then. I had only just been reunited with Lucy and was slowly adjusting to life in Manchester. This year, I wanted to be around both Lucy's and Keira's parents, like a proper family. I had never experienced a Christmas where there was so much love and happiness.
Leah led us through a park close by our house - I didn't know how she knew where she was going, but we all seemed to just follow her.
The park was fairly quiet, only occupied with a few dog walkers like us. Due to there being a lot of free space, Lucy let Narla off the lead for a bit to run about. We took turns in throwing things for her to run after and bring back to us until we were interrupted by a breathless voice, "Rosie...?". Turning on my heels, I saw Abby standing there in a thick, black coat with a fur hood. I gave her a friendly smile, but she frowned - clearly at the people who I was with. She stared at my mums and Leah a bit before asking, "you know them?". Remembering that I hadn't actually told her, I laughed slightly, "err...yeah...Lucy and Keira are my mums and then Leah's their friend". Still seeming shocked at the details I had just disclosed, she nodded her head slowly, "oh...nice to meet you, I'm Abby". Lucy, Keira and Leah all introduced themselves to her, but it was already clear there was no need for it.
While she talked to me, Abby kept taking glances at my mum's and Leah, bewildered that I was actually related to them. She told me, "why weren't you at training yesterday? There was someone who came looking for you". Frowning and ignoring her first question, I questioned, "who?". Abby paused before describing a person I knew all too well, "blonde, straight hair, blue eyes, a bit taller than you...". Millie. Why was she looking for me? I asked Abby, "what did she say?". She shrugged, "not much, just mentioned that you hadn't been answering her texts and calls". Thanking Abby for letting me know, I switched the conversation, "what are you doing round here? I thought you lived the other side of Manchester?". She said awkwardly, "I met up with a few girls from training, do you want to come and see them?". Not seeing how I could decline her offer without it looking suspicious, I reluctantly agreed.
Lucy, Keira and Leah continued on their walk with Narla as I followed Abby towards a group of people. Scanning the group of girls, I realised that Ruby wasn't there. I breathed a sigh of relief and greeted all of them, who threw questions at me, "where have you been?..Why did you just walk off the pitch against Liverpool?..What's going on with Millie?". Not really wanting to answer any of the questions, I gave a simple response and asked my own, "things have just been...chaotic. Why do you think there's something going on with me and Millie?". Mia was the one to answer, "she came looking for you...told me to tell you that she's sorry. Have you broken up?". Sighing and rubbing my forehead while they all waited eagerly for my answer, I responded, "she cheated on me so I ended things".
A few shocked noises sounded while I slowly bit my lip and nodded in agreement. Alex exclaimed, "I'm going to hit that bitch and the bitch she cheated on you with". Rolling my eyes at her, she asked, "do you know who it is?". Nodding my head once more, Abby told me, "go and punch her then, what's the worst that can happen?". Realising that she was right, I made up my mind. I was already leaving Man City, I was moving country, I had already ended my relationship. Surely nothing else could happen.
Before I could decide what I was going to do completely, Morgan tapped my shoulder, "I need to tell you something ". Frowning, she explained further, "about Millie and Ruby". Confused at how she knew Ruby was involved, she pulled me aside of the group and told me, "I went to Millie's house to drop something off the other night and she was a complete mess. I stayed with her a few hours while she told me that she'd fucked everything up with you. Apparently Ruby forced Millie to sleep with her, but obviously it still doesn't make it right. I asked Ruby about it and she was laughing about how she had ended your relationship for definite". I took some time to take in what Morgan had said, but before I could speak, she spoke, "I think Ruby knows a secret about Millie and used it to blackmail her into sleeping with her". I sighed loudly and looked at Morgan with tired eyes, "thanks for telling me, I'll sort it out".
At that moment Alex and Abby came bouncing up to us, with smirks on their faces. Alex asked excitedly, "are you going to punch her? Because if you are then you better do it now". Turning my body around to realise what she meant, I muttered, "shit...". I took a few deep breaths in and walked confidently back to the group.
Face to face with the girl who had sex with my girlfriend, I glared at her through angry eyes. She laughed sarcastically, "oh look who decided to show up...I thought you'd be spending time with your girlfriend before you fuck off to Spain". Frowning fiercely at her, I growled back, "you fucking bitch. Why do you hate me so much?". She grinned, "because you're Rosie Bronze". Alex murmured so only I could hear, "jealous cow". My automatic reaction was to laugh, but it was probably the worst possible thing I could have done in that situation. Ruby interrogated, "do you think this is funny?" And before I knew it, she had pushed my shoulder. I took a step closer to her and smirked, "yeah I do think this is funny". In actual fact, I wasn't finding it funny. But I knew it would piss her off if I said it.
She kept shoving my shoulders while we passed insults back and forth. However, I didn't retaliate. I was waiting for the perfect moment to smash her face in. I responded to one of her shit insults with, "it's not my fault you have to blackmail someone into sleeping with you because you're that much of an ugly bastard". I couldn't even process what she was doing as her hand raised rapidly and connected with my jaw. The shock overcame me as she pulled away, but shoved her fist at my cheekbone this time. Pain was radiating from the entire right side of my face as she roughly pushed my body into a tree behind me causing my back to almost crumble to pieces. She continued to punch, slap and whack my face as I tried to recover myself from the utter shock.
Desperately trying to gather my thoughts and actions together so I could hit her back, my entire brain was spinning. The hits to my face and the damage to my back had made me so weak I couldn't even lift a fist to try and attempt to punch her back.
A voice pulled me from my dizziness and confusion, "what the hell has happened?!". Lifting my eyes, I saw Leah standing a few metres away from us with her hands on her hips. Ruby's grating voice exclaimed, "she hit me first. I only reacted in self defence". A few of the girls recognised Leah and my mums and began to try and walk away. But Leah halted their movement, "I don't think so...I don't care who hit who first, you all just stood and watched it happen!". They all hung their heads as they were being shouted at by Leah Williamson. I shouted at Ruby before limping away from everyone, "you're a fucking bitch and I promise that I will get you back!". Ruby's confident, domineering personality had disappeared as I could hear Lucy begin to shout at them.
Keira was quickly at my side, helping me walk as my back was in absolute agony. We sat down in silence until I told her, "I didn't touch her...I promise". Keira rested a hand on my thigh as I told her what happened. She tried to lighten the mood, "you're going to have a huge bruise on your face tomorrow". I chuckled, "I don't mind, it'll make me look cool". She rolled her eyes and I continued, "and I can brag about it to everyone".
As Lucy said earlier this afternoon, I only have until the end of the month in England.
It seems that wherever I go I just seem to encounter problems. In Sunderland, I had my foster parents. Here in Manchester, I have Ruby, Millie and my coach. Maybe there's something wrong with me?
During the walk back to the house, everyone seemed angry. Leah, Lucy and Keira were all raging about Ruby. They had decided that they were going to report her to Man City the next day when I was finalising the termination of my contract.
The day's events were clearly a sign telling me that I needed to get out of Manchester as soon as possible.
A/N - not the best update but I felt that I had to get something out.
Let me know your thoughts x