Chapter 94: Convinced Of The Truth
Checking every single room on the ground floor first, and then moving upward to where everyone's bedrooms were, YN was quickly running out of spaces to check.
I'm going to find Beatrice before I find Subaru at this rate.
Taking his time to check every single room, just in case, he wanted to leave no stone unturned in the event Subaru was moving from hiding spot to hiding spot.
I don't know what's going through his mind, so I have to be certain that—
YN: —Gck!
Nearly falling over and only just managing to catch himself on a nearby table, YN knocked over a vase in the process. The same familiar, and never-any-easier-pain of a Consequence of attempting to inform someone else of Return By Death ripped through his body, made worse by how unexpected it was.
As the vase shattered after rolling off the counter, a shrieking yell, uttered at the top of one's lungs, echoed throughout the Mansion.
??? (muffled): AAAAAHHHHHHHHGGGGGHHHH
Wishing he'd had a moment more to recover as his head pounded with pressure and the taste of metal still lingered in his mouth, the yell, blood curdling almost, snapped him to.
That definitely sounded like Subaru.
With a need to find the source of the yell taking a clear priority over his strategy of leaving no stone unturned, YN dashed for the nearest staircase, certain it came from the floor above.
There's only two rooms of note up there!
Roswaal's Study, and—
Emilia's bedroom!
Taking a side staircase up, from the second he reached the top, he could see the double doors leading to Emilia's room were already open. Slowing his pace, YN kept his footsteps as quiet as possible before reaching the door, remaining as cautious as he could.
It would really make matters worse if I stepped right into a trap. Like if Elsa had suddenly showed back up here just to make everything harder. That'd be about our luck...
Approaching the door, YN could hear the sound of muffled wails as he got closer and closer to being able to poke his head around the corner.
That's definitely Subaru still.
And with no other sound of a fight or struggle going on, he felt no hesitation from being able to look in and observe what was going on. Steeling his nerves, YN swallowed his apprehension and looked inside.
YN:—!
Before him was Subaru on his knees, his back facing him. He was holding someone, or something. The boy was visibly shaking and dry heaves of heavy emotion still exited his mouth. But the most stark thing that could be seen—
That's... a lot of blood...
Where he was kneeled was a pool of crimson all around him.
The loop hasn't ended, and Subaru still looks alive, and by that much blood, it can't be his own.
YN was frozen in place. Should he approach or continue to watch? Just what had happened?
As his mouth was dry and his legs remained cemented in place, YN remained silent and still until Subaru readjusted the embrace he had on what he was holding.
Clutching it tighter, it was made clear to YN now.
YN: *Gasp!*
Utterly taken back, he couldn't believe what it was.
Lifeless, and devoid of any color in her already pale skin, was Emilia.
Her bangs hung in a way YN could not see her eyes as she could now be seen over Subaru's shoulder, a small stream of blood running from her mouth and staining the white robe he wore.
But his surprise announced his presence.
Slowly cranking his head around, the look of horror and disbelief was still etched into Subaru's face. His eyes screamed for an explanation and an end to his suffering. His sanpaku eyes couldn't be more bloodshot.
Even though he noticed it was YN, the one who the last time he had seen had been quite frustrated with was now standing in the doorway, it made little impact in his current state. Looking out like a helpless child without a word to be had on his lips, his panicked breathing was accompanied by tears and snot on face.
The two remained in a limbo of speechlessness for what felt like an eternity. YN couldn't exactly retreat, but nor could he advance.
As the pool of blood continued to slowly expand, Subaru could only begin to try and babble out a few broken words.
Subaru: I-I—! I don't-know-how—...!? It—! Emilia—! She was—!
Finally gaining the courage to move, YN moved quickly towards them, but stopped short of the blood. Unsure of what he was even hoping to accomplish, it felt like something extremely taboo or cursed to simply step onto Emilia's blood.
YN: Subaru... what happened to Emilia?
Subaru: I— I just wanted t-to try and tell her...
That was all he needed to say.
The Consequence, the blood, Emilia's death. It was all connected.
This time rather than harming him... the Consequence instead took Emilia's life after he tried to tell her of Return By Death...
This was an entirely new revelation to their shared ability, and YN didn't know how to feel about it.
This never happened with Rem... never once.
In fact, ever since she'd looked into his memories, speaking about Return By Death between him and Rem had remained without Consequences ever since.
Even after Rem figured out it was Subaru who needed to die to have it triggered, there still wasn't a Consequence, meaning it wasn't just a loophole the first time...
As Subaru remained in pain, YN's mind fluttered trying to find an explanation that fit the logic of the situation.
Is it because it was me who said it? That can't be though... I've caused Consequences before. And it even happened once when trying to tell Rem before she found out on her own...
Was finding out on their own part of the problem? If enough hints could be dropped and whoever it was figured it out, was that enough?
Brimming with theories, YN's mind was forced to halt as Subaru finally began to speak coherently as he turned back to face the dead half-elf in his arms.
Subaru: I think I understand now...
YN: —?
Without even needing to see YN tilt his head in question, Subaru knew to elaborate, his voice still hoarse and shaky.
Subaru: When you lost Rem... you said you held her as she died...
Making YN recall memories equally as painful as this one for Subaru, he finally came to a realization.
Subaru: I understand now... how painful this must have been for you.
YN: You remember her then?
Speaking of whom no one else seemed to recall in this cursed loop, the two of them each understood who it was YN meant when he said "her."
Nodding, Subaru confirmed.
Subaru: I thought it was a bad sign when Ram didn't remember her when I mentioned her. Something terrible must have happened again, huh?
YN: Yeah. It did.
Slumping his shoulders upon hearing his answer, Subaru began to cry once more. Turning his head back to YN, he spoke.
Subaru: YN, I'm so sorry... I should have realized how much that affected you... if I had given you the space you needed, I might not have ever had to see this...
Looking back at Emilia, he gently used his thumb to wipe away a bit of blood coming from her lips.
While they both knew the ones they cherished were a short Return away should their Restart Point not be updated, they were both aware that the mental scars of seeing them this way did not so easily go away either.
Subaru: Everyone thinks I'm a failure. And they're right. No matter how many times I try, I always end up hurting her. And it's all led to this now...
Beginning to mumble in self pity, YN was afraid that mentally, Subaru was beginning to check out. He was unsure of what to do next, but for some reason, he couldn't quite feel what that was until Subaru said it.
Subaru: All because of me, Emilia is dead.
Snapping his memory into a realization, YN's heart jumped at its remembrance.
Wait... If Emilia perishes, that means the contract with Puck is set to trigger the—!
???: You've really done it now, I suppose.
Cutting off his thoughts was an all too familiar voice, belonging to the one person who hadn't shown up at all yet in any of these loops. Wondering where her place was in all this, should she have one, both YN and Subaru looked at the Spirit in astonishment.
Beatrice: You look as if you're the most miserable person in the world.
Speaking to Subaru as she said that, she then turned her attention to the equally speechless YN.
Beatrice: —And you look even more pathetic than usual. Tell Betty, did something equally as tragic happen to you as well, in fact?
Despite the scene before her, Beatrice was as crass as she ever was.
Walking over to Subaru, Beatrice's butterfly-pattern eyes looked up and down as she inspected Emilia's corpse in his arms still.
Beatrice: It appears as if she's lost Bubby's crystal I suppose. How careless.
Looking up, Beatrice stared out of the large vanity window that overlooked the Mansion's gardens. While neither Subaru nor YN had noticed, the sky outside had turned dark. Stormy dark.
Ominously dark.
Beatrice: Regardless, it seems he's managed to return to his true form. A pity it seems.
Turning back to Subaru, Beatrice looked coldly at him.
Beatrice: Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Silent in reply at first, Subaru mumbled out his answer, barely audible against the sound of a growing gust against the window outside.
Subaru: I want... to die.
Opening her eyes wide for a moment in reaction to his words, her expression quickly returned to its normal resting self.
Beatrice: Are you asking Betty to kill you I suppose? Honestly, how cruel can you get?
Giving the Spirit a horrified look on top of the immensely distressed expression he already had, Beatrice shook her head.
Beatrice: Betty will refuse your wish. If you wish to die, go do so away from here.
Lifting her hand up, she projected her hand towards the same windows she'd been staring at a moment earlier. But as she did that, the entire vanity began to warp.
What the...?!
No, it was the whole space between Subaru and the window. It all began to warp and bend as if melting.
Slowly, a rip in the fabric of reality in that same area began to form. A dark portal had opened upon Beatrice's command.
Beatrice: Unfortunately, everything that we know is more than likely going to end momentarily. However, your fate to end here is not to Betty's likening.
Looking back towards Subaru, who was to her side as she continued to conjure forth a magical portal, Beatrice chastised him further.
Beatrice: So if you're set on dying, do it where Betty cannot see it.
Subaru: Wha—? Beako... what do you mean everything is going to end? What does that—?
Beatrice: It means Betty would like to defend her library away from any potential cruel or unsightly things that could occur. Now then—
Letting the portal move closer and closer to Subaru, Beatrice spoke her last cold words before it swallowed both him and Emilia's body.
Beatrice: —Go and meet your fate elsewhere, I suppose.
Taking them in, Subaru and Emilia were gone as quickly as the portal had seemed to arrive, leaving only the puddle of Emilia's blood as any evidence they had been there.
Now with only the Spirit and YN left in the room, Beatrice desired to see him gone as well. Gesturing as if shooing him off, Beatrice turned to leave.
Beatrice: Betty would suggest getting as far away from here as possible. It's beyond your understanding, but you'll wish not to stick around.
Just as she was exiting Emilia's room, YN had a defiant air get into him upon hearing the Spirit's insult.
YN: —Because Puck is going to freeze everything. That's his contract with Emilia. If she dies, he's supposed to end the world. Meaning he won't spare you either.
Beatrice: He also will not go out of his way to target Betty, meaning there is a chance for her Library to survive until the Sword Saint arrives.
Saying this with her back turned to him, she halfway turned around, glaring at him with her side eye as she continued.
Beatrice: Strange how the Anomaly should know about Bubby's contract. How does he possess this knowledge, in fact?
YN: — — —
Silent in reply to her, Beatrice pressed again.
Beatrice: Was it by chance foretold to you by your gospel?
Swallowing hard upon hearing her ask that, she had coaxed an answer out of him.
YN: I don't have one of those! I'm not a Witch Cultist!
Beatrice: Betty never assumed you were. But if you think only the Witch Cult possesses them you are sadly mistaken.
YN: What's that supposed to mean?!
Feeling enraged how she could accuse him of such a thing and then answer so cryptically, YN pressed for his own answers, but revived not one in return.
Beatrice: If you hope to survive the coming storm, Betty recommends leaving now.
Hearing the wind outside begin to howl, YN suddenly realized he could see his breath ever so slightly, signaling the change in temperature.
Knowing he had no more time to waste, as Beatrice left and went down one direction of the hallway, YN ran the opposite. Hearing the Spirit speak to him one last time through, her words stopped him in his tracks.
Beatrice: —The maid. Betty seems to recall that the maid did not fare well during Bubby's hatsumaki. Perhaps you should seek her out before running away on your own.
Unsure if she was taunting him, taking pity on him, or just simply reminding him, YN realized Ram was probably not far off, and would need help as well.
Shit. Damn it. I promised myself to Rem that I would save Ram.
Taking off once more, YN flew down the flights of stairs and out to the front of the Mansion, running like his, and Ram's lives depended on it. But before he had made it to the freezing front steps of the Mansion, he had allowed himself to make one stop before leaving, knowing that the item he grabbed would be most useful, if not appreciated beyond belief.
***
His throat on fire, his lips chapped, and his legs burning, his run was made more difficult now by the snow, at almost the entirety of the depth of his shoe, greatly impeding his progress.
While the snow seemed to still be accumulating more rapidly the closer in proximity it was to the Mansion, it was growing everywhere else nonetheless, and YN was beginning to be unable to outrun it.
Finally arriving at the village, the snow on the ground was now gone, but large flakes still fell, signaling that this place too would be covered soon.
Taking a look around, he quickly spotted her. Obviously noting the weather and the fact this was far from being natural, she was just now climbing back onto the drivers bench of the small carriage that was pulled by Otto's former ground dragon.
With every second being precious, YN darted towards her.
YN: Ram! Nee-sama!
Catching her off guard, a look of astonishment came across her face. Not only was she surprised to see him there, but his current condition was also of note.
Ram: YN? Did you find Barasu? And did you walk through a blizzard to get here?
YN: Yes, and yes.
Not wasting a second, YN boarded the carriage with her.
Ram: Then what is YN doing back here? Is there a snow storm going on at the mansion again? Is the Great-Spirit-sama responsible for it this time as well?
Innocently assuming it was Puck releasing magic again, it was clear Ram was oblivious to the danger.
YN: Reasons. And uhhh, sorta. But here—
Taking it off of himself and draping it over her poor, exposed shoulders, the warmth was much needed as she immediately perked up.
Ram: Your jacket...
YN: Yours actually. Remember? We traded.
As Ram put her arms through the sleeves in a hurried fashion, clearing having hid her discomfort of the cold due to being in the public eye, YN grabbed the reins and jerked the carriage around, making them rush for the exit of the village.
Ram: Wha—?! YN, what is the meaning of this?
Seeing him act uncharacteristically, Ram was too busy trying to warm herself to try and take the reins back.
YN: We need to run. We need to get far, far away from here.
Studying his face, Ram could see something was clearly wrong, and her intuition was telling her it wasn't unrelated to the weather, or of this "Rem's" disappearance.
Ram: YN, calm down. Stop the carriage and explain to Ram what happened.
Refusing to stop the carriage, YN snapped them more, if only to try and go faster.
YN: Emilia is dead.
Ram: — — —
Exiting the village as fast as the green ground dragon could take them, its divine protection kicked in, ending the blast of cold air Ram was having to brace, making it difficult for her to warm up even given the synthetic jacket's capabilities.
Ram: Surely YN jests.
Turning to her and giving her the most serious look he could, Ram's hope that he was lying, or even mistaken went out the window.
Ram: I—... Ram sees.
It was hard for her to accept that had truly happened, but for YN saying it, she knew there was no other truth.
As more silence grew between them, the snow and coldness seemed to now be expanding much more rapidly.
YN: If we don't make it far away from here, we'll be frozen to death.
Ram: Why does YN say that?
Wanting to get answers to everything, it was all Ram could do from shaking YN where he sat and bombarding him until she was satisfied.
YN: When Emilia dies, Puck will destroy the world. It's part of his contract with Emilia.
Making her go silent once again, Ram was left in thought for a moment as she contemplated everything she knew, trying to get a grasp of understanding.
Ram: When YN said he'd found Barasu, was that related to how Emilia-sama perished?
Bluntly asking her suspicion, it was met with a shrug and a shaking of his head, as YN wasn't entirely sure how to answer that.
YN: He didn't kill her. He wouldn't do that. You and both know that.
Ram: But...
YN: But, something he did rather, caused her to die.
Hearing him respond vaguely, Ram gathered he couldn't say, or just didn't know fully. Hoping for the latter, Ram bluntly asked the only question that could come to her mind.
Ram: Then what are we doing?
YN: What do you mean?
Ram: If the world is to end, why did YN come running straight to Ram? With his— her jacket for comfort no less. What is the point of running and being comfortable if the world is to end?
Desperately trying to understand YN's logic, the snow around them was thickening, although none was making it inside the "bubble" they were in thanks to the Divine Protection of Wind.
YN: T-There's hope still. The Sword Saint could defeat Puck before the snow reaches us, and then we'd be safe.
Fumbling out an answer, Ram could hear the desperation in his voice, as well as the hollowness of it.
Ram: YN, the way you said that.... you too know all of this is in vain.
Replying in a low, sad tone, Ram dashed away the "hope" YN tried to offer her. Biting his lip in frustration, he didn't know what to say to her that wasn't a lie, and wasn't just him saying "this will all be Reset so don't fret."
Ram: Had you not sought out Ram, YN might have gotten much further, and been safer on his own...
Seeing the look of existential dread go across her face as she continued to shiver, YN knew it wasn't just because he knew it was all going to be Reset.
If we're all about just waiting for the Reset, I wouldn't have come running after Ram.
While YN cared for Ram, being Rem's Nee-sama after all, the desire to not see her perish was deeper than just that.
Rem: — please, take care of Nee-sama.
The words of the one who held his heart echoed in his mind. The last words she had said to him.
Understanding now what gave him his drive, YN loosened his white knuckle grip on the reins and sighed.
As he wished to speak though, an intense and frigid wind blasted the nearby trees as they rode along. The snow storm was intensifying, and its source was visible just off to their side.
It was a silhouette, a creature with four legs, and nearly twice the height of the Mansion he usually resided in.
Taking his true form, it wasn't the first time YN had seen it, but even at the distance he was and while they were out of his immediate danger zone, Ram was shocked to see the beast come to life.
Mumbling to himself, Ram easily heard him curse.
YN: Damn cat...
Looking back at its striking, gargantuan figure, Ram saw that the Spirit's eyes glowed with ill intent and malice.
Ram: To be revered as a 'Great' Spirit... Ram understands now...
While she had been taught from an early age to respect the likes of Beatrice and Puck, to see a "Great" Spirit's full power... she could finally understand the motivation behind such lectures to her younger self.
YN: Ram—
Tearing her attention off the impending bringer of doom, YN finally had an adequate answer for the pink haired maid.
YN: The point in running straight to you... It was Rem.
In rare form, Ram put a hand to her chest, surprised to hear such an answer.
Ram: —!
YN: I couldn't ever hope to face Rem again knowing I'd have abandoned you to such a terrible fate... She knew how much you hated the cold...
Casting her gaze down to her feet, Ram was moved beyond words. She couldn't bring herself to comprehend why it was that she felt this way now, but one thing was for certain now.
With Rem being his motivation for this, Ram would be foolish to not believe him any further.
Finally cementing her mind the reality that she had a younger twin sister, Ram felt tears well up in her eyes.
Having to focus on guiding the ground dragon in the worsening snow conditions, YN suddenly felt his hand grabbed and pulled away from the reins.
YN: —Ram!
Ram had suddenly reached for, and taken hold of his hands. While YN had suspected at first Ram had warmed up enough to take back control over the carriage, he quickly saw that wasn't the case.
Holding his hand, Ram stared at YN with a content smile and tears running down her face, dangerously close to freezing on her cheeks as the temperature dropped lower and lower.
YN: Ram...
As the two stared at each other, as if trying to understand each other's emotions by sight alone, YN saw a large eruption in the distance.
Behind Ram, visible just over her shoulder where the silhouette of Puck was, a tower of ice and snow rose up. The sound of its summoning though was delayed by several seconds, sounding out like a large crack akin to a thundercloud, further showing how big, and how far off Puck was.
But even as the dreadful sound reached them, Ram did not look, for she did not need to.
Ram: —Thank you, YN, for taking such good care of Rem.
Keeping a face that looked as if she were at peace, the avalanche of snow and ice that erupted was bearing closer and closer to them, a dangerous thing for sure, and one that would end them momentarily, and Ram had to be aware of that.
Ram: Ram is happy to know... that before she forgot about Rem, that she had chosen YN to take care of her. Rem's Nee-sama could not have hoped for a better person to look after and care for her.
Hearing her speak so forthcomingly YN was moved enough to take his attention off their impending doom. But even as he was feeling an immense emotion build up in himself as well, it was prematurely ended.
While YN was also unfathomably resolved to hear Ram had accepted Rem's existence before this loop had been forced to end, the eruption of snow and ice finally reached them.
Quick and merciful was their death. Something that could not have been said for Subaru.
***
As his soul poured back into his body, so was the tea Rem had freshly brewed down his throat.
YN: *Cough!* *Cough!*
Still unprepared for the feeling, YN choked on the feeling reflexively.
???: Ah! YN-kun? Was the tea still too hot or was—?
While he pounded his chest to help clear his airway, he stopped at the sweet sound of her voice. Turning to look at her, they met each other's gaze, staring longingly at each other for very different reasons.
Rem: YN-kun...
There she was in all of her beauty. The sun from the open window shone marvelously on her bright azure hair, which starkly contrasted her monochromatic maid uniform YN had come to adore her in.
Her single visible eye radiated an intense emotion, one he knew was probably about, with the Witch's Scent and all.
Taking half a step toward him, he could hear the concern in her voice for him.
Rem: Please don't tell Rem that...
YN: Rem!
Standing up so suddenly it nearly knocked his cup over, YN embraced Rem tightly in a hug, which in truth, only worsened what she expected.
Rem: I-It did then—! YN-kun! How did Rem fail to protect—?
With an extremely worried emotion entering Rem's panicked voice as she was horrified upon this sudden revelation, YN sought to quell any worry she had of her own inadequacy.
YN: No, no, no. You didn't fail. You did very good, Rem.
Holding her welled up face to his chest to conquer any sort of bad feeling that might arise from her assumptions, YN rocked back and forth in hopes to calm her.
YN: You are right though. There was a Return, but it's the second time now.
Rem: S-Second?!
Looking up at him with eyes wide open, Rem was immensely disturbed from having heard that. Taking a step back, she looked over at him as if she expected to find some sort of clue.
Rem: YN-kun.
YN: Yes?
Rem: The Scent... *sniff* Is it normally this strong after a single Return, or did these two Returns happen sequentially?
Afraid she might hear that the Returns originated from a nearby, imminent event, YN quelled her worry with a shake of his head.
YN: No, we had a Consequence right before the Return was triggered. That might be what it is.
Rem: Rem sees...
Hesitant on what she should do next, Rem fidgeted in place, waiting for YN to suggest what they should do.
YN: I'm sorry Rem... I know when this happens it's extremely stressful for you.
Hurt to see her so worked up, Rem shook her head in reply.
Rem: Please do not worry about Rem in times like these. It is YN-kun who Rem should be concerned about!
Knowing he had either just immediately been thrust back into a Reset Point, or having possibly perished himself, Rem prioritized his feelings above all else, especially in this moment.
Taking a deep breath, YN approached her once more and held her tight.
YN: We have a lot to talk about, don't we?
Putting her own arms around him, Rem agreed.
Rem: Yes. Yes we do.
Stepping back again, Rem offered YN a hand to lead him off to where they could be alone. As she offered her hand, Rem looked at YN longingly, like she herself hadn't seen him in a long time. Taking her offered hand, Rem and YN proceeded down the hall to a bedroom they could lay on the bed in and talk.
Letting her lead me like this... It'll never get old.