WINE IN MY SYSTEM BLURRED MY MIND AS THE NIGHT BREEZE COOLED MY FLUSHED CHEEKS.
We snuck out from the tavern's back door leading directly to the beach, hand in hand, and once my heels sank into the sand, it was difficult to step forward. I let go of his hand and sat on the step to undo my heels. I felt his silent gaze hovering over me all the while, his hands in his pockets. I lifted my eyes and smiled at him, taking my heels in one hand and extending the other for him to hold.
As we strolled on the beach toward the shore, I collected my courage to ask him the burning question. "Is everything okay?"
The night was crisp, and my ears buzzed because of the high volume earlier.
I listened to the peaceful silence between us as he took his time to answer, the tavern's muffled noise blocked by the waves' whoosh. I inhaled the fresh air, closing my eyes. The intoxication faded with each stroke of the cold breeze against my face.
He took a deep breath at last. "She made a big deal out of nothing."
This answer was vague and skeptical, but I didn't push it. Though I never sat on the beach at night before, it looked mesmerizing with a full moon and soft waves washing the shore.
When Cam found a spot close to the water, he collapsed on the sand and set the beer bottles beside him. I slowly plopped down beside him and put my heels aside. He opened one bottle and handed me, then opened one for himself.
I took a long sip, staring at the beautiful scenery of the ocean before me. I was already tipsy after two glasses of wine, but beer didn't hurt in this setting. There was just something weird in the air, words unspoken, tension unsolved, and I was dying to learn what was bothering him. But at the same time, I didn't want to invade his space—even though he offered to share it with me.
I set my eyes on him as he stared at the ocean with an expressionless face. I wondered what they fought over with Olivia, but he didn't seem to be in the mood to tell me about it. I sipped on my beer again and cleared my throat.
"Thank you. It's beautiful here, and my heels were killing me back there."
A grin touched his lips. "You're welcome."
We stared at each other in silence, the smile falling off his face. My mind went back to when I'd seen him in his vintage car and how surprised I was. I could never imagine ending up here with him, feeling butterflies in my stomach and a heavy feeling in my chest.
You feel so good to be true, I wanted to say to him. I'm afraid of betting on the wrong horse again.
"Can I look at the photos?" I suddenly said to ease the tension, take my mind off my thoughts and Cam's mind off whatever he was worried about.
He looked down at the camera on his lap. "They are a mess right now. If you want—"
I grabbed his camera before he could complete his sentence and turned my back to him.
"Hey," he protested halfheartedly.
"I'm sure they look alright, Cam." I turned it on and started skimming the photos.
"Thanks for asking my permission," he said with a huff. I felt his presence behind me, looking over my shoulder to see the camera screen. However, he didn't try to take his camera back.
"I technically asked," I said, looking back at him with a smile. "And you didn't say no. I'm only going to look at the party photos. Feel free to stop me if you feel like I cross a line." When Cam shrugged, I returned to the camera.
Most of them were photos of Uncle Joe blowing the candles on his cake, dancing with Olivia, and some pictures of the crowd. I hit the back button until I spotted a picture of me sitting in the corner and sipping on my wine. The photo captured my boredom too well that it felt like looking in the mirror. I pressed the button again, encountering another picture of me, smiling this time—I assumed it was the moment I watched Uncle Joe dance—and it zoomed on my face.
And Cameron was behind the lens all along, capturing these moments of me. This was the rawest form of proof that someone saw me. When I thought I was hiding in the corner, he was watching me. Looking at these pictures was like watching myself from his eyes.
Maybe this was what he meant by a mess. Not the photos.
I turned the camera off and handed it back to him, feeling like I was stepping into forbidden territory. "They are beautiful," I said, not looking into his eyes. I ran my feet on the sand, trying to distract myself.
"I can delete the photos if you want," Cam said, looking at me in concern.
"No, they are great." I tried to smile. "I look better than I felt at that moment."
"You are beautiful." I glanced up at Cam. "I just captured what I saw. These are my lenses." His eyes were shining under the moonlight with a soft grin on his lips.
My grin grew bigger as I lowered my head. Answering a compliment was challenging for me because I never knew how to react. So, instead of thanking him, I changed the topic. "Tell me about your college times. Your friends, grades, and relationships."
My question earned a grin from him. "I made some close friends I still keep in touch with," he said, sipping on his beer. "My grades were average. I guess I lost my competitive soul after you."
I chuckled. "Couldn't you find a new rival?"
"Nobody can replace Amberoni." I knew he meant it as a rival, but it caught me off guard. Cam swore to make my heart stop tonight. "Relationships," he continued with a gaze on the ocean. "Let's say my longest relationship lasted a year."
"Ever or at college?"
"Ever."
I knitted my eyebrows. Cam didn't seem like someone with commitment issues. "Commitment issues?"
Cam took another swig from his drink. "I think it's the opposite." That was an interesting answer. "I was actually committed to something else too much to let go and start a new thing."
"I see," I said. I wondered what kept him away from committing to a relationship. Was it a thing or a person? I realized it was too intimate to ask, though, so I kept my mouth shut.
"I came to New York a few times during college," he said next. His voice was timid and hesitant like he wasn't sure why he was telling me this now. "It's a beautiful city."
"You should've called me." I knew he never would. We weren't even close back then, but it felt like the response I was supposed to give. "I'd give you a tour."
"I didn't stay long, or I would," he said in a similar tone to me. Liar. I watched him drink his beer. Then, he looked at me as he wiped off his mouth. "What about you? Tell me about college. I know you graduated with high honors." I raised my eyebrows. "Mom told me."
I envied how he was open about this kind of thing. Confessing things like this. I heard stuff about him from Pops, too, but I couldn't tell him that. I couldn't tell him how I envied him for graduating from my dream college and how stupid I was to give up on my dream so that I wouldn't have to go to college with him. I didn't even hate him that much for running away. I just wanted a fresh start from everything, and Cam was just attached to everything I was—he was a part of home.
I always thought it was a bad thing. But as you grow old, you realize that you want a sense of home and to be surrounded by people who feel like home.
"I had friends, too, to exchange notes or hang out occasionally." He laughed at that. Cam knew I wasn't a social butterfly. "Guys...I had a few dates at college, but none of them lasted long, either. Months at best. I was studying too hard, so I didn't have time for it. I did summer internships and rolled into a new graduate program after graduation. Where I met my ex-fiancé, Marcus."
The last sentence slipped off my mouth without a particular thought, but it immediately changed the mood. I didn't know why I said it like that, but Cam didn't comment on it. He just downed the rest of his bottle and kept his eyes on the horizon.
"When I interned, I actually knew I didn't like it as I should, but I chickened out to drop out of college," he said, changing the subject. Clearly, he didn't want to talk about Marcus at the moment. I didn't know if I was ready to tell him, either.
"I don't blame you for it," I replied. "It feels terrifying to step out of your comfort zone."
"Yeah. I guess I needed this experience to understand what I truly love." Then, he looked at me with a laugh. "But you are definitely out of your comfort zone now."
It's different. I was pushed out of my comfort zone. "Yeah," I said with a soft grin. "Sometimes life shakes things up for you, and you end up in...Land's End with your childhood nemesis."
"Oh, childhood nemesis? That's what I am?"
I shrugged, sipping on my beer. "It's beyond my wildest dreams."
"Mine, too," he said, looking at me. "I didn't think I would see you ever again."
He held my gaze after he said it, his eyes were intense, and a shiver went down my spine either because of it or the cold breeze brushing my bare legs. I wanted to tell him that I never thought I would see him again, too, and end up here, sleeping in the same bed, sharing memories, laughter, and intense moments like this—and have my heart beating like this.
"You could see me if you actually entered the church, but you preferred to stay outside." Alcohol unfiltered my thoughts, so I let them out as they were. I could tell Cam was also surprised by my boldness, but he shook his head with a soft grin.
"It worked in the end, didn't it? What would you do if I wasn't there?"
I laughed at his cockiness and sipped on my beer. "Maybe find myself another gentleman who could actually take me to the airport."
"We are in the middle of nowhere, away from everybody you know. Isn't it what you wanted?"
I played with the rim of my beer bottle, thinking about what he had said. "I guess. I wanted to vanish in thin air. I wanted to rewind time. My mind was all over the place, Cam."
"I never saw you like that before," he murmured. "Out of control, I mean."
That moment, it was so right to tell him about Marcus. What happened, how it was, and how it ended. As a new page of my life approached, I knew I needed to be open about this. Then, he could understand why I lost control.
So, I asked, "Can I tell you? About him."
Cam nodded, though something clouded his eyes. I first downed the rest of my beer because I couldn't do this sober. I turned my body toward him and cleared my throat. It still took me a few seconds to prepare myself. "Marcus was—"
"Tell me about you," Cam said instead. "You when you were with him."
I was taken aback by his request, but I nodded. "I was intrigued by him at first." I didn't look at Cam's eyes while talking, though I could feel his gaze on me. I kept my eyes on the sand to focus because I wasn't ready to face his thoughts about me. "Marcus was charming, talkative. He filled the room, you know. So, I wanted to be around him. When I learned he broke up recently with his long-term girlfriend, I wanted to be there for him to mend his heart and build something new together."
I paused, giving him time to comment, but he didn't.
"It wasn't an easy task, but I eventually won his heart." I grimaced at my words, but I was determined to tell Cam everything as transparent as possible. He deserved to know—or I wanted someone to know the unfiltered thoughts in my mind.
"How did you feel when you won his heart?"
I looked up at him. His jaw was clenched, watching me intently. "Like I aced an exam," I whispered. "But I still had to work hard to keep him with me." I took my face in my hands and let out a groan. "Fuck." Then, I ran a hand over my hair. "I sound pathetic, don't I?"
"Go on." His voice was both supporting and on edge at the same time.
"When you're in the middle of something, you don't see the signs. Especially if your focus is on the prize—building a family with someone. That's what I did. When Marcus didn't text me first, I thought he was always busy. I thought he respected my space when he didn't ask me what the matter was after I told him I wasn't feeling okay.
"He didn't know about my mom, you know. I never told him, and he never asked." I looked at him with my eyes full of tears. "But mending his heart and keeping myself busy with his problems sufficed. I was happy the way it was."
He let out a breath.
"He left me for his ex," I said, remembering the fucking letter Marcus wrote to me. "To find a love that made his heart skip a beat." I huffed a laugh. "And he fucking thanked me for inspiring him to do so. I was only a therapist in his relationship, and he left me once he healed."
"Therapist," he murmured under his breath, looking down. It was hard to read his thoughts when all he gave me were small words and ragged breaths.
"I don't think I can love anyone that much," I said, shaking my head. "Make my heart skip a beat?" I laughed bitterly. "That's fucking ridiculous. Does he live in a romance novel or something?" I shook my head. "When he left me at the altar that day, I thought of Pops—and eventually of my mother. I tried so hard not to become them, either of them, but still got my ass kicked."
My voice trembled when I talked, and I didn't hide the teardrops falling down my cheeks. Cam watched me for a while silently, then he spoke.
"Do you want to know what I think?"
I nodded.
"You're always looking for someone broken to fix. Like your dad." The air I inhaled burned my lungs. "That douche is no exception."
Like a therapist. Cam's words combined with Marcus's letter and punched me in the gut. I was trying to find someone broken to fix like Pops. Because it was the only way, I knew. I only knew how to pick up the pieces of someone's heart that another woman shattered. I didn't know how to love someone effortlessly without putting myself on the line and giving them everything.
I hugged my legs and set my chin on top of my knees.
"You shouldn't have to fix someone to find love, Amber," Cam said next, motioning toward me. "You shouldn't even have to try."
I just wanted to finish the story. "Then, I ran away from the church because I didn't want to face Pops and tell him how I got dumped. And you know the rest."
"I never thought it would come to this," Cam said thoughtfully. "You looked unhinged back there, ready to kill me if I rejected your offer. You even threw off your diamond ring."
I laughed, remembering how he actually went to look for the ring and his triumphant face when he found it.
"I didn't think it would come to this, either," I admitted, grinning.
"I don't like bride-to-be Amber," Cam said, looking toward the ocean and sipping on his beer. "I like this one,"—he glanced at me, his eyes raving up and down on me—"drinking beer in a ridiculous dress on the beach." Unaware of the effect his gaze left on me, he turned again, setting his eyes ahead.
I scoffed a laugh. "My dress isn't ridiculous."
"You look like a disco ball." He laughed, then looked at me. "I like disco ball Amber."
I like disco ball Amber, too.
Land's End changed me. This little town, the people, and Cameron showed me a new side of me. If I didn't come here, I would self-pity and self-destroy myself.
Now, I was starting to believe that it wasn't entirely my fault—and I deserved to be loved. Unconditionally. Completely.
"Also," he said, slicing the heavy tension, "I'm a firm believer in love." I didn't know how Cam did it, but he told abrupt things that shook my axis.
He lay on the sand, tugging his arm under his head.
I mirrored, lying on the sand beside him. I let my head rest on the sand and put a hand on my chest to feel my heartbeat.
Then, I laughed. "Told you're a soft boy." My body slackened, and all my muscles loosened until there was no tense part.
"Are you into soft boys?"
My palm vibrated with the beat of my heart.
"I don't know," I said, staring at the sky. "Maybe I should step out of my comfort zone."
It was my buzzed mind speaking, but I felt free and happy, even if I just dumped my depressing story and vulnerabilities to Cam. I looked down at his hand beside mine on the sand and touched his little finger with mine.
There were no calculations, no plans, no afterthoughts. Just me, him, and my heart beating wildly in my chest.
He curled his finger, slowly dragging my hand to interfere with our fingers. Then, his eyes found mine with a grin.
Our eyes locked like two poles of a magnet, and I couldn't pull my eyes away. Cameron changed greatly: he matured, lost some weight, and built his body. But he was still the boy I knew like the back of my hand: quirky, ambitious, charming, with a golden heart. It was hard to admit this familiar side of him got under my skin under a new shade of light.
I wondered what intrigued me about him: the charm of our situation, surviving together in a completely new town, or the fact that he was so different from the men I'd been with. He was refreshing. But at the same time, he knew me so well that I didn't need to prove myself.
I rolled to his side, feeling the soft sand beneath me, and sighed. "I drank too much tonight."
"I can see that," Cam replied with a smile. Then, he ran his cold fingers on my cheek. This sudden contact jolted me. "Your cheeks are red."
I frowned at him. "Are you flirting with me?"
"Because I touched your cheek?"
"So, you're not?" My frown grew deeper, thinking about it. Am I reading everything wrong? Why did he take me here? Why did he ask if I'm into soft boys? Why did he touch my cheek?
"Do I have to answer that?"
His questions were aching my head. "I guess not," I murmured, unable to find any coherent answers to it. I suddenly straightened my back, remembering his dance with Olivia, their proximity, and Olivia's hostility toward me, and looked down at him. "Are you flirting with Olivia?"
Cam sighed, closing his eyes. "No, I'm not."
His answer satisfied me in an uncontrollable way that I smiled—or I was generally incapable of filtering my emotions at this point. "Good," I said with a wide grin. "Good."
Cam's eyes shot back at me with an amused look. "Good?"
I looked ahead at the ocean, and the urge to swim filled me. "Let's swim," I said, jumping up to my feet. Seconds later, I landed on my ass and started laughing.
"That doesn't sound great, Amberoni," Cam said behind me with a parent-like concern, which irritated me a lot. I didn't need him to be a buzz killer right now. I needed him to swim with me.
"Wrong answer," I said, trying to get up again, but my head was spinning. So, I decided to crawl my way toward the ocean.
"Amber." I heard Cam's voice in a distance now. "It's time to go."
"No," I yelled. Crawling was a hard task. I didn't know how babies did it.
I screamed when Cam grabbed me from my waist and pulled me up. He caught me when I tottered, holding me tighter. I grasped his shoulder, resting my head against his chest as my energy drained.
"Guess I'll have to carry you back," he whispered with a release of breath. "You're a piece of work." He hooked an arm under my knees and lifted me up. I snaked my arms around his neck and closed my eyes.
Happy Land's End Friday! 🥳
I just got out of a hectic business day, so my mind is totally blank. But this chapter was all about my babies, and important things happened (milestones achieved). What do you think? Will their relationship be the same after tonight? 👀
Drop an emoji for my boy Cameron because I'm really, really, really proud of writing him. He's a love letter to every guy who treats women as they deserve and doesn't take their love for granted.
Lastly, do any of you use Tiktok? I feel like promoting stories on that platform makes a significant difference, and I'd be so honored if you decide to make some TikTok videos for Land's End (and tag me, beautlieswattpad). 🥹🫶🏻
See you next Friday,
Sev xx
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN SNEAK PEEK:
I WOKE UP ON CAMERON'S CHEST.