Twenty-Seven
GUNNER
Delilah and I stand in silence on the balcony, and I can feel the anxiety start to creep it's way towards me and at quick speed. I run my hands down my face and take a seat just where Mason was. Delilah's pretty eyes follow every move and the sad smile on her face just makes me feel even more anxious.
There's no running from this now.
"Gunner, talk to me," Delilah whispers, taking a seat on my lap and I welcome the warmth from her, wrapping my toned arms around her waist.
"Back home in Australia, I didn't have any friends. Well apart from my sister." My heart cracks at the mention of Gabriella.
"You have a sister?" Delilah smiles, curling her arms around me.
"Not anymore." My voice cracks and my eyes sting. "She took her own life when I was eighteen. She was only sixteen."
I don't even attempt to stop the tears from falling and Delilah doesn't hesitate to wipe them with the sleeve of her dress.
"I'm sorry." She whispers, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. My arms only tightened around her.
"We told each other everything... Well, I thought we did. Anyway, we had a neighbour, he was the same age as me and had just moved in with his family. His name was Jordan. We didn't talk much but every time we were out front at the same time he would stare at me and then smile. I never thought much of it, but his smile started to become contagious."
"Like Mason's." Delilah smiles gently and I chuckle nodding my head.
"Just like his, baby." I wink, reaching up to brush my thumb along her soft cheek before continuing. "I hate to admit it to you, but I slept around a lot, especially after Gabriella died. But before she did, she would always mention Jordan, and I remember having this weird feeling in my stomach every time she did. I didn't know they had become friends while I stayed hidden in my bedroom."
If I could go back in time, I would have saved my sister, but I also would have tried to save myself.
"When she died, he would keep coming over to my house with gifts, trying to cheer me up. We eventually became friends, but fuck, every time he looked at me I'd get these stupid fucking butterflies and I was so confused. My attraction to girls never stopped, I kept sleeping around but the feelings I'd get for them were the same ones I'd get for Jordan." I rasp.
"There was this park not far from where we lived, we went there a lot together. Had our own little spot and everything." I smile at the memory. "There was already some tension between us. We were sitting in our spot and he told me he liked me. That was the day I shared my first kiss with a guy and it was the happiest I had been since I lost my sister."
I search Delilah's face, trying to get a reading of what she's feeling. There's no judgement on her face, just a warm tender smile as she listens.
"What happened between you two?" I chuckle at her question.
"My confusion got in the way of everything. One day at school this new girl arrived and I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Her name was Bailey. I'm pretty sure Jordan realised over time that I liked both of them. Over the years of knowing Jordan he meant so much to me, I was scared to lose him. But I didn't want to lose Bailey either." I clear my throat and take a deep breath. "He made me choose between him and her."
"Gunner," Delilah whispers sadly, realisation forming on her face.
"If I chose Bailey, I would lose Jordan. If I chose him, then I'd lose Bailey."
"Who did you choose?"
I shake my head. "I lost them both."
"How?"
"Car accident." Delilah gasps. "I was the one driving. We were arguing. I had stupidly suggested that we all be together. I did my research on polyamory relationships, we were already in a friendship group, and I thought we could be more."
A tear slips down Delilah's cheek.
"My selfishness got them killed. My dad told me that the brakes were faulty but I would have known anyway. Especially seeing as I was a mechanic at the time. I should have made sure the car was safe before I put them in there. I could have just hidden my feelings from Jordan. We would have stayed friends and never had that argument."
"But Jordan wouldn't have hidden his feelings from you, Gunner and it's not your fault what happened." I scoff.
"Yeah, it was, baby. I was behind that wheel, I lost control and crashed. I killed them both." I look up at the night sky and exhale with a shaky breath.
"You're in love with Mason." She points out.
"I'm in love with Mason and I'm fucking in love with you too," I admit, too tired to bottle up all my feelings. "But I'm scared. I'm scared history will repeat itself." I say in a broken voice.
Delilah stares at me with wide eyes and an open mouth.
"I've always known Mason has liked me more than a friend. I ignored it on purpose."
"Because you liked me too?"
"Love, baby. I love you. Mason has never been a relationship man, Delilah. I liked you both. But as much as I love Mason I had this thought in the back of my mind that he would hurt you because he doesn't want a relationship. But I do. That's all I've ever craved since I was a teenager but I thought I didn't deserve it. Then you appeared and made me think otherwise."
"So you thought this time round, you could hide your feelings from Mason, keep your friendship and have a relationship with me?" I nod my head.
"I didn't know Mason would fall for you too. But I keep getting this nagging voice in the back of my head that if I acknowledge it, I lose everything." And there I am again, being selfish. Not thinking about Mason and his feelings all because I'm scared of my own. "For the past few weeks I've been visualising a life where the three of us are together, I've tried to tell myself to just be honest but every time I try I reach a roadblock."
"Is that why you and Mason argued earlier on?"
"He knows deep down I'm running away from my feelings. He's angry because I can't say it so openly as he can."
"Say what, baby?" Delilah's soft voice sets something off in me, and I lean forward to press my forehead against hers. "You can say it."
"I..." I clench my eyes shut. "I-I'm Bisexual." A heavy weight lifts off of my shoulders as soon as I have said it, so I say it again. "I'm Bisexual."
Delilah beams and starts to smother my face in kisses.
"I love you." She whispers against my skin and my body freezes. "And I want us all to be together. You have to trust Mason, Gunner. That's the main part of a relationship. Trust." She signs the word 'trust' and I mimic her actions.
I nod my head. "Trust."
"You never told me how you and Mason met by the way."
"Two years ago at a sex club. It's where I had my first-ever threesome. Me and Mason didn't do anything together before you ask but I know he was attracted to me as I were to him."
"You were just better at hiding it?"
"Exactly."
"The woman we fucked, her name was Rosie. She's Alonso's daughter. We didn't know at the time but we sure as fuck know now." I grimace and so does Delilah.
"And her fiancé?"
"That's a question you'll have to ask, Mason."
"So, I'm on the run from my ex who has now found me. Alonso wants you and Mason dead for fucking his daughter. And that daughter's fiancé also wants Mason dead for figuring out he faked his death. That's enough to give someone a headache." Delilah laughs, throwing her head back.
"Don't forget the three hundred million we have to cough up," I smirk.
Her head snaps back down to me and she raises her eyebrows. "We're actually doing that?"
"Don't be stupid. I'm not Alonso's bitch." I scoff.
"Gunner?" Delilah questions, relaxing back on my lap, playing with the loosened tie around my neck.
"What are you doing here in Vegas? I've gathered Mason is on the run from this fiancé man, but you? What are you doing here?"
'If I told you, I'd have to kill you.' That's what I said to Mason when I met him. Of course, he knows now and it didn't faze him. Nothing fazes that man most days. You could tell Mason you killed a whole family and he would just shrug his shoulders.
"When I lost Jordan and Bailey, I started doing and selling drugs. My parents begged me to stop but I wouldn't listen. I kept losing people in my life, I didn't care anymore. One night I got so fucked, I couldn't think straight. My dealer tried to take advantage of me. I burned his warehouse to the ground along with him and his fucked up crew with it."
"Well, he deserved it." Delilah shrugs and it's only now I realise how similar she is to Mason. Nothing fazes her either.
"It made the news. You wanna know why?" She nods. "There were over a hundred people in that warehouse. Every single one died." Her eyes fly open.
"Wow. Mega kill count right there." She puffs out air.
"I took all their drug money before I left the country without telling my parents and I've been on the run ever since. I only came to Nevada a couple of years ago. I had been living in multiple places since then. I think if I hadn't met Mason I would have left ages ago."
"You need to go and talk to Mason." Delilah urges, standing up from my lap and I pout reaching out for her. "Go." She points to the balcony doors.
I drop my head in my hands and take a minute to figure out what I am going to say to him.
"Okay."
I stand up and place a kiss on the top of her head and make my way back inside. The second I'm standing outside of Mason's room, I'm full of nerves and I hesitate. Fuck it.
I push open his door to see him sitting on the edge of his bed topless. His head shoots up to mine and he swallows hard.
"I-"
"I heard everything." He cuts me off and I purse my lips and slowly nod my head. "You don't trust me?" He says with a voice laced with hurt and a huge amount of guilt surges through me.
"Can I sit?" I point to the space next to him and he replies with a curt nod. I take a seat next to him and inhale, thinking of what to say.
"Am I just Jordan's replacement?"
My head shoots to face him. "Fuck no, Mason! I've never seen you like that." His gaze softens. "I love you, Mason and I'm sorry that I've been pushing you away and disregarding your own feelings."
"Yeah well let's not pretend like I wasn't doing the same thing. I've always made it clear that I've never wanted a relationship. I've always seen myself as incapable of having one. I'm shit with commitment, but then I met you and then—"
"Delilah." I finish off his sentence and he nods his head.
"I hated her to begin with because of how easy it was for you to fall for her and give her affection. But it made sense why you fell for her because shit, I've gone and done the same thing. The woman is fucking intoxicating, in a good way. I'll admit I felt left out. I wanted you, but I want her as well." He croaks, fiddling with his hands. "I think I fell in love with you back at that sex club. And then I fell in love with Delilah."
I smile, looking down at my lap.
"I love you, Gunner." He blushes and so do I. "So you've only ever kissed one guy?" He teases nudging my shoulder and I roll my eyes.
"Been saving myself." I retort.
"For me?" He leans closer wetting his lips and I swallow hard.
"For you." I rasp and close the distance to rest my lips against his.
I melt instantly against him, it feeling right like it should. His tongue runs along the bottom of my lip and I open my mouth for our tongues to clash together. After a while he pulls away so I wrap my hand around his neck and pull him back, pressing my lips harder against his.
He smiles into the kiss and eventually I do too.
"I swear you and Delilah will be the only people I let do that to me, anyone else and I'll shoot their kneecaps." He chuckles and I squeeze my hand before letting go. "You know someone is missing right now."
"Our girl?"
He nods with a smirk. "Our girl."
"I'll go and get her." I stand up and make my way over to the door.
"Gunner?" My hand pauses on the door handle and I look over my shoulder to face him.
"Hmm?"
"This won't ruin anything. Me and you. I think it will make us stronger." My gaze softens.
"I know." I whisper.
"I'll try my hardest not to fuck anything up. I promise." He holds his hand against the left side of his chest. "You two mean everything to me."
"I know" I repeat with a soft smile.
My hand turns the handle and I pull the door back only to come face to face with a little devil princess. Delilah looks up at me with wide eyes and scratches the back of her neck.
"I was walking by." She squeaks.
Mason steps up behind me and we both stare down at her as she fidgets around nervously.
"C'mere." I lift her over my shoulder and she squeals. I slam the door shut and throw her on the bed. Mason is the first to smother her in kisses, causing her to erupt in a fit of laughter.
"Stop!"
I join in wrapping my large arms around her and burying my face into the crook of her neck, peppering the skin with soft kisses.
This is how it should have always been.
Us three.
A/N
How cute?🥺
Also if you haven't already seen, this book will be having exclusive chapters added over the next few weeks. Love Roulette WILL REMAIN A FREE BOOK and these exclusive chapters will not change the story, you wont miss anything important. So don't worry if you are unable to read the exclusive chapters. If you do, I'd like to thank you so much for your support. Lots of love ❤️