*long chapter ahead, enjoy!😊*
It has been two weeks since the Belgium GP and Charles keeps giving me the cold shoulder. The first week was really tough on me, it had not started well being my parent's death aniversary but Charles disappearing made everything worse. They had never broken up with me before but I didn't imagine it would hurt like this.
After some days moping around not wanting to get out of bed my sisters came to my house for an intervention. I knew they were right, I didnt deserve to be treated like that and it was his lost. I have tried to pretend strength but deep down I know I would forgive him on a heartbeat. But it is obvious I was just a game for him so I try to get up and just like I've been doing my whole live, keep going.
I have the habit of not wanting to see anyone the day before a concert and this was not going to be different. The rehearsals have gone great and the setlist is already finished. I have been using this uncertainty and anger that I've been feeling lately to write down my thoughts, I still dont know if they will transform into a song but it has been helping me to think better.
I do my bedtime rutine and decide to entretain myself with my phone before going to bed. I see his name is trending so its mine, I've been trying to stay away from social media as much as posible to try and avoid seeing how he is doing. I obviously cave in and go to his profile.
@ charlesleclerc has posted a story
Oh to hell with it I'm going to message him.
You have answered to
@ charlesleclerc's story
If you want to try and resolve any issues I would be happy to talk. Otherwise, I wish you all the best.
I miss you.
I turned off the phone and went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning there was still no messages from him so I gave myself for answered. It was a important day and I wasnt going to let this ruin it.
When I get to the arena my family is already there, Carlos also invited some of the pilots from the grid and I invited some colleagues I've had the pleasure to work with before. I could see how my brother keeps checking his phone from time to time but all his guests are already here.
-Are you waiting for someone else?- I ask him. Please, say he's coming.
-Oh no I was just checking how Real Madrid's doing....you know...the match- he gives a side glance to Isa that seemed really suspicious but I let it slide when I saw my new manager enter the room.
-Its show time Oli- Clara told me- do you need anything before you go out?
I shake my head and follow her to the side of the stage. I am very surprised by the way Clara treats me differently than Lia. Im grateful I could find her, she's is turning into a friend to me.
When I get into position I can already see how the band is in their places. The crowd is screaming and cheering and I use this moments to ground myself. Starting in the industry so young I didnt want to loose myself in it so I made it a habit to give me a reality check before concerts. I try to remind myself that Im just a really lucky normal person who got the oportunity to do what they love most in the world as their job. I repeat myself that this life could end any minute so I need to enjoy every minute of it.
They give me the signal to go and I take a step onto the stage, with a huge smile on my face and trying to see the crowd even with the lights blinding my eyes.
Charles' POV
Carlos has given me all the instructions on how to get to the venue. He told me to come backstage with him, Isa, Seb, Lewis and Fernando but I have been ghosting her since Belgium and I dont want to steal the attention from the event.
I decided to stay at the back of the stands with a cap and some sun glasses. I know I might look like a jerk after how I treated Liv and honestly I deserve it. At first I just really needed space, I was angry at the team and at myself so I did what I do best, leave and drown myself in work.
Then when I realised what a shit person I was it was already too late. It's like my life is on autopilot and all I know to do is run away. Honestly its better like this, she needs a person who is not a disaster like I am right now.
The lights go off and the band takes their places signaling the start of the show. I wonder if she feels the same before going on stage that I feel before the lights go out during a race. The fans start screaming just as I see her enter the stage. She has a smile from ear to ear and a light in her eyes I've never seen before, she feels at home.
-How are you feeling Madrid!- The crowd erupts into cheers.
-Im so grateful every single one of you is here today- she takes a breath- As you know everything collected today will be donated to different associations, to name a few, we are collaborating with UNICEF, Partners in health and CARE internarional along with almost 20 more NGOs.- Everyone claped and cheered. She looks so proud of her work, I wish I could tell her how proud I am of her too.
-Before we start I want to thank some people here today- she smiles puting the hand that is not holding the microphone over her heart- First of all my family who is here today, Papá, Mamá, Carlos, Blanca and Ana I wouldnt be here today without you- she stops and dries a tear from the corner of her eye- I also want to thank my new manager Clara, she has been amazing this last few weeks and helped me organize this in such short notice, a masive thank you also to Sebastian Vettel and Lewis Hamilton who got in touch with the ONGs- the crowd got excited listening to the world champions names.
-And last but not least three people that couldnt be here today, I lost two of them a long time ago and that shaped me as a person- she couldnt help herself and started tearing a little bit, only a couple of us really know who she is talking about- The other one is...Let's just say that he was the one who gave me the push I needed to enjoy this as I once did. This first song is really new, its not even recorded and I dont know if I will record it yet but I wanted to share it with all of you. This song is called "It cant be you"
*Play It cant be you by Ashe for a better reading*
She takes out a guitar and start playing a a lively tone.
-You smell just like childhood
Like running off to Hollywood
Time flies- This was not one of the song she showed me that were going to be on the setlist so it might be a last minute addition.
-Never wanted this to end
I don't what else to do
I don't wanna love again
Now I know what there's to lose- This cant be about me, she didnt love me so it probably is about someone else. Maybe she had it written for a long time and decided now would be a good time to share it with the world.
-Said forever on a whim
Should've known it wasn't true
I don't wanna love again
If it can't be, it can't be you- flashbacks from every time we said we will be together forever no matter what. For me it was true of course it was true but I know It wasnt the same for her.
-Knew each other so very well
Don't wanna learn nobody else
You knew me better than I knew myself- endless conversations laying in bed together come back to me and I decide to close my eyes. She also has her eyes closed, just her with her guitar not caring about anyone else so I copied her. I just want to feel her and her guitar.
-Who else knows the inner workings of my mind?
The end of all my stories
I need to be alone sometimes
Pull my hair before I cry
Careful with these memories
Careful, or they'll bury me
If I could go back, then I would- I know she will be better off without me in her life, she will get over me like everyone else and shine as the brightest star on the sky.
-Never wanted this to end
I don't what else to do
I don't wanna love again
Now I know what there's to lose
Said forever on a whim
Should've known it wasn't true
I don't wanna love again
If it can't be, it can't be you, ooh, ooh
It can't be you, ooh, ooh- seeing her in the stage has brought tears to my eyes, not only for the song but also seeing how comfortable and sure of herself she feels up there.
I stay for a couple more songs but decided to go before I changed my mind
Olivia's POV
The show was a success. The crowds energy was amazing and we managed to sell out the entire arena. I go back to where my guests were backstage and greet everyone. I cant help to look around and look for him but of course he was not there, how could he be there I didnt even invite him? I excuse myself from my father and Fernando who had engaged in a heated conversation about last years Dakar and go to change in my dressing room. When I enter I can see the dim light I left on before going on stage and all my belongings, but there was something that catched my eye. In the table was a huge bouquet of flowers but not any kind, a beautiful bouquet of tulips, my favourites. I come closer and look for a note. I was surprised to find one since I guessed it was a gift from someone from my family. I opened and I was confused to see that it was in Italian.
"Liv, sei un capolavoro."
(Liv, you are a masterpiece)
He was the only person that called me Liv. A little hope comes to me thinking that he was here today but it doesn't last long when I realize he didnt stay. Why did he come here but didnt even bother to talk to me?
I wanted to throw away the note but the tightening in my chest that I'm feeling prevent it. I decide to keep it in the case of my phone and go back to my family. After all, today is a day to celebrate the work we have done and even if I love him more than I thought I could, he wasnt going to ruin my night.
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I'm with exams right now but let's not fool ourselves, I will use this as an excuse to procrastinate and dont study😂. Hope you are liking the story so far!