Author: Okay, I haven't touched this in how long...?
073: Since May, it has been approximately 6 months since the last update.
Author: ... Okay I should have done this sooner, but... Oh well, let's do it today and I am going to try a different style for this ask. So, first set of questions from hipess0a
"clef: marry me :3? I do whatever you want so marry me please"
Alto Clef: The women I loved and wanted to marry are all dead, I don't think you are willing to take this risk on yourself.
"Bright: what is your favorite ship with you?"
Jack Bright: Obviously me and Mal0, but SCP-035 and SCP-049 has a second place on my list.
SCP-049: I promise I will cure you out of Pestilence one day.
Jack Bright: I would love to see you try.
"Author: which researcher do you hate?"
Author: Jeez, that's a hard question... In this universe it used to be Bright, but now we are living in peace, so I don't know... Probably that guy who gave vodka to SCP-999 and told him that it was a delicious sweet juice.
"A: Hey, you guys know this fantastic man right here? *Pulls the Eleventh Doctor into the Ask*"
SCP-073: I do, but without 5205 it will be difficult to send him to another universe.
"To All: Have you met your canon selves yet? Also, Music Time."
Author: I will check it after the ask and tell you in a private message, I have something to do today anyway.
"Have y'all met the Doctor yet?"
SCP-2662: Yes, we did. It also wasn't the only time, we have met him in the past multiple times.
"5025: What's your thought ln 3812 aka "the dude who transcends narratives" and are you stronger than him? like can you beat him in a battle?"
SCP-OC-5025: *Finishes reading the report* To be honest, I am not sure. Theoretically speaking yes, because I am a megaversal being, while he is universal, maybe multiversal, but I cannot say it with 100% confidence.
"???: *Busts through a wall, revealing: A large black catlike biped [male], five cats (four males and a female, a Mask-&-Mantle [male], Ginger [male], smaller Ginger [male], another Ginger somewhere in between [male] and a calico [female]), an Ent dressed in an FBI costume wearing shades, a grey bowler hat and with a cheese-coated mustache (male), a Jersey Devil (male), a fox in shining armor (male) and a plethora of shadowy creatures.Black catlike biped: Howdy! The name is Anindya, omniversal, and these are Oscar the M&M, Ginger the redundent ginger-Ginger: Really?Anindya: Dave the tiny Ginger, Tufty the short cowboy.Tufty: Also called Cooley!-Anindya: And my love the pretty calico known as Sparta. The Ent is known as Mista Senor Monsieur Leef, the Jersey Devil is...Jersey Devil. The fox is Lance, and these are the nightmares of the Deep Dark.Midnight Basilisk: In his house at Rl'ye-Sparta: Shut up. Sorry for not getting here sooner. We were dealing with another Omniversal War, with the three-headed brother of Anindya."
SCP-106: 5205 is probably having a lot of fun in the afterlife then. This world can never be peaceful, can it?
"Lance: He only wanted to destroy Life and change it back to bacteria, by the way."
SCP-073: "Only"... Like it wouldn't have caused a massive change in the structures of reality...
"Anindya: Anyways, sorry again, and for the loss of SCP-5205, may he rest in whachamacallit. Well, what's that dare we wanted to give?"
Author: Eh, it is fine, he is not really dead, he simply left to enjoy his life in the afterlife.
"Tufty: Right. Anyways:SCP-953: What's your opinion of King Eugenio the Second, better known as SCP-1845-1?"
SCP-953: ... Give me the report Author...
Author: *Gives her a sheet of papers* Here you go.
SCP-953: You just couldn't make this font any smaller, could you? *Starts reading it*
Author: I had to somehow fit all of this text on two pages.
SCP-953: *Finishes reading it* Huh, I didn't know an SCP like that existed... Well, he sounds like an interesting person, that's for sure. But I haven't talked with him, so I cannot make my own opinion about him.
"SCP-682: Your name is Atlanti-ql-Paneu, by the way."
SCP-682: I don't approve this name.
SCP-106: Then how shall we call you?
SCP-682: Reptile. That's enough.
"SCP-106: Remember Corporal Lyman?"
SCP-106: How could I forget him? I have all of the memories from WW I in front of my eyes all the time.
"953:who the hell is you're lover"
SCP-953: [CLASSIFIED]
"Author:if she doesn't answer get the pan"
Author: [DATA REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF O5 COUNCIL]
"For 049: heyyyyy fucking hottie look i got a picture of ur son and alsooooo wheres youre boyfriend at cause i want him to fuck me"
SCP-049: Okay, first of all, 049-J, I told you not to post your pictures online. Secondly, 035 is not my boyfriend.
SCP-035: Furthermore, 049 has a wife.
SCP-049:What's more, do not interrupt me while I am speaking 035. And finally, ask him, not me.
SCP-035: Yeah I am not falling for it again. 300 years ago one girl was flirting with me and it didn't end well. No, she didn't get pregnant, but... Or whatever, I won't say it, that's private stuff.
"I have a question for 106 and 1471 its only for you guys What would you react if like you guys were both drunk at night and then you guys started making out and doing sex and then plot twist dr. Bright actually recorded it all to add to his so called "scp porn videos" collection and you when on fucking for hours untill 1471 could no longer walk while 106 was tired as hell from fucking like a mad man? them from last night be like:~"
SCP-106: Okay, one thing. In order to make out with Mal0, I would have to be either extremely brave, or extremely stupid, because we both know Bright would have killed me, and being drunk wouldn't be an excuse. But if it truly happened, I would hide in my pocket dimension and run as far away from his rage as possible.
SCP-1471: And I would probably hide in a corner and start crying if I realized I cheated on Jack...
"Can i ask the SCP's? "
Author: Of course.
"To all: if you were to escape the foundation, what's the first thing you all would do when you're free?"
SCP-682-1:Okay, one thing. This is a completely different universe than the ones you guys are used to. In here we are free, and the first think we did was starting a new life.
"Also to all: what would happen if you met your younger selves? How would you react?"
SCP-953: ... I would definitely tell my younger self to stay at home at a certain day and hide there as quickly as possible.
SCP-2662: I would warn myself about how to deal with cultists. Like, holy hell, these guys can be so annoying!
SCP-106: Don't go into that hole when I get drafted to the army. I think for me it is obvious.
SCP-073: Don't kill Abel even when you get enraged...
SCP-076: Kill Cain before he kills you~
SCP-073: ...
SCP-076: I am joking, calm down!
"*falls from the sky* Dammit Tony! You and your weird obsession with pranking me!*looks around* Oh, phew. This location is safe. I'm fed up with Stark's sense of humor. Why oh why do you keep sending me into disturbing locations? I'M NOT EVEN REMOTELY INTERESTED IN ROMANCE WITH OC'S!*sigh* I'm gonna kill him. Seriously, how many times do I have to explain that I only travel with a purpose. "
Author: What happened this time Souless?
"Its good that I wound up here though. I came across something while traveling... It's very dangerous and I can't fight it on my own. During research, I came across the corruption. I tracked the source to an Adult Swim multiverse. Have you guys seen the Pibby corruption stuff on YouTube? Its happening on an Omniversal scale. We need to find a cure. I have found my lack of code useful in this situation because this corruption virus only affects code. I hope you can help. If not... well, I don't want to think about it..."
SCP-OC-5025: I will go with you.
SCP-239: Same, you can count on me.
"So... I managed to pull the data from the void by plugging my eye into an electrical socket. I don't know how that worked, but it did. I've managed to recover my people, here are the souls of my enemies!"
SCP-239: *Grabs the soul* Wow, that's pretty cool!
"Bright: I feel your pain. I just drowned in cement for the first time."
Jack Bright: *Chokes on water* WHAT?! How do you even drown in cement?
"For everyone: I've worked at UCN and survived, can you do the same? I mean digitally for y'all, being stuffed is as painful as it looks."
SCP-953: If they tried to do it to me, they would be dead where they stand...
""Hello! My name is Dr. Alice from Site-88 ! This might seem very childish but pizza party?" - Dr. Alice!
"Finally. A BREAK! Yeah lets do a pizza party >:D" - Harriet"Harriet, I agree XD" - Dr. Alice"
Author: *Pulls out an infinite pizza box* I would never refuse an offer to eat some pizza.
SCP-682-1:Just make sure it doesn't have any pineapple on it.
Author: It will have strawberries instead.
SCP-682-1:*Softly* Don't.
"Hello. I have limmited time so here is what I have to say. My name is Amber. Aparently I am what the humans call an 'SCP'. My 'number' is 9665 as I am called. But moving on from that, these tretchet humans killed my home and family and my village. I need to get out of here. I know my sister is still out there and I need help escaping. Please.. help me get out of here." - SCP-9665, Flare Fox, Amber"
SCP-OC-5025: *Opens a portal and goes through with 239* First we will do that, then we will come with Sorrow.
"Harriet (My scp-3008 Delta Team AU personel): Hello! Asking any of the Docs here but, is any one aware that, from Team Delta that went into SCP-3008 I was the last and only survivor left that escaped the infininte IKEA? Dr. Alice: Harriet- Remember, this is another universe were talking about."
Alto Clef: Oh yeah, that one... We still have no idea how to pull people out, sorry
"Author Ian: Hello."
Author: Hello there Ian, long time no see
SCP-243041 (very Irish accent): Hello, my darlings. I am 243041, call me Samual or Sam, now I have a few questions and... what do humans calls them?... right! "Dares". For the first one, Bright, my lovey, if you could choose between the two options; Being freed from the facility but the amulet stays with you or being free from the amulet but your soul will haunt the foundation, which would you choose and why?
Jack Bright: Obviously free from the amulet, because haunting people as a ghost would be fun!
For the second one, SCP-049, Do you know how to.. *mutter* what's the word... oh! Knit, if not would you like me to teach you?
SCP-049: I used to knit long time ago, and I still kind of remember how it works. But thank you for your offer.
The third, SCP-096, my sweetheart, is it alright with you if I take you under my care? I've never had a child who's almost as tall as me before, and you seem like the sweetest little thing! *Irish intensifies as he crouches down to 096*
SCP-096: Haha, thanks, but I already have somebody who takes care of me. You can still visit me though if you want to.
And the last one for right now, 035, dear, I've been told I'm a good actor when it comes to dramatic plays, would you like to host a play with me and my triplet brothers, dear? *SCP-3425 (Mark) & SCP-7302 (Leon) appear, Samual gets down on a knee and dramatically stretches a hand toward 035*
SCP-035: Jeez... I haven't played on a scene in ages... I don't even remember how to do it, nor how it is like... It would take me some time to re-learn every... YIKES, I AM JOKING, I AM IN!
"Question for SCP-939: What did you do during the war? Also, 939, can you always have your kind on standby? Just to make sure we are prepared for another war, if another one does happen in the first place."
SCP-939: I was shooting cannons on that massive ship which we had. And don't worry, we are always ready to fight.
"Also, 939; I dare you to over throw your alpha."
SCP-939: DO YOU WANT TO GET ME KILLED?! NO! I AM SORRY, BUT THAT WOULD BE MY DEMISE!
"Oh and don't worry Larry I got a certain someone who knows how it feels during the big war. I'm sure you and him can talk it out and... Yeah... Also 682 go to a dentist but not just any dentist... A big dentist.. With big tools.. And machines... And big syringes and big medicine.. And big doors with big windows. Eeeeeeeee"
SCP-682: *Shows perfectly white teeth* 049 can do miracles apparently.
"Hey ya'll incase of... Another big war or something happens I'll give you a giant mecha suit which is equipped with projectiles. Missiles. Forcefield. Lasers. Beams and plasma charge. This suit unfortunately can only last for an hour so use it wisely... Well.. Incase there is another big war. If not you guys can use it for.. Other reasons.... Eeeeeee.... But don't let bright use it... Cause I don't trust that man... Oh and uh thanks for reading my story. I appreciate it very much :)"
Jack Bright: I have had my fun in this life anyway, I won't try anything stupid...
SCP-053: And what does this button do? *Clicks a random button*
Author: 053 NO! *Tries to prevent the self-destruction sequence*
"Ok here's a dare 1471 kiss the giant death lizard (first thing that came to mind)"
SCP-1471: ... *Gives 682 a small cheek kiss* There.
"Hey guys, long time no see huh.... Hehehehe... Sorry, but there so many problem in my universe.... Btw.... SCP 2599: h-hey baby girl, i-it's me... Y-you remember me r-right....?
SCP-2599: *Hugs him* Of course I do!
"Oh and for all of the strongest scp do you want join... You know.... My universal security organization...? Our organization is like a police who maintaining peace, security, and order for all weak universe, if you want join, tell me.... I will brought the same coat like me... Oh and if you questioned me why this coat not fly away while I'm wearing it like this (look like marine coat from one piece) it's because as long justice still hold strong in our heart... Even typhoon cannot let it go, that's why there are kanji say "正義" who meaning is "justice" so....... If you want join, just tell me.. i will brought the coat.... Oh and for author.... Thanks for let the portal open... So I can still go to here... And before I go, here 2599 *give 2599 some cookies and undying beautiful flower*"
SCP-076: For now we have to deal with our own problems, and without 5205 it doesn't make sence to go outside, so for now we will pass, thanks.
SCP-2599: *Smiles* Just don't leave me for that long again, okay?
"If Bright was on Hell's Kitchen he'd probably get escorted out for sneaking drugs into the food or some crap lmao"
Jack Bright: Not "probably" but "definitely".
"Uhh, hi, um, I have another dare, if you remember me. I dare for 049 himself to read my newest book, 049's Granddaughter, and tell me what he thinks please. I'd greatly appreciate it. Oh! I also have a question for him and that is what was the most interesting place you've ever been?"
SCP-049: Okay, I will check it later with Author, and the most interesting place I have ever been? Probably Site-13. That was a weird, but interesting place...
"soldat: i dare scp 076 to spar with me "
SCP-076: *Jumps at Soldat* As you wish!
"epic: i dare bright to prank everyone "
Jack Bright: *Pulls out a small device and clicks the button, which plays "Never gonna give you up everywhere"*
"epic: i dare 682 to not eat food"
SCP-682-1: I hate you...
"soldat: i dare 682-3 -4 and -5 to solve a 1000x 1000 rubics cube"
SCP-682-3: Are you crazy?! This will take years to finish! Maybe even centuries! We will do as much as we can, but we won't do all of it...
ElementalistAngel
"*a ghost crawls @ 10000 mph up walls, ceiling & floor, ElementalistAngel, 049, 106 173 scream; ghost goes after ElementaistAngel and she dies* *in ghost form* SON OF A FU-"
SCP-096: You should have been more careful... *Is hiding in another room*
"I HAVE GAINED A FURBY VESSEL AND AM NOW A PART OF A FURBY CHATROOM! I ALSO GOT DARED TO USE A MEGAPHONE FOR A DAY- ANYWAYS, HAVE SOME CHAOS! *A very large banana-choco-caramel pizza appears, with the fruit spelling out "CHAOS CHAOS". I GOT THIS FROM A GREENWICH PIZZA PLACE. ALSO, HAVE YOU EVER VISITED ELMORE? ...THIS IS LOUD."
SCP-073: Thanks! Also, what is Elmore?
"Author: I dare you to hit with that pan that you have."
Author: *Smacks Abel* You still haven't given me that one thing I asked you to get for me...
"953: *Gives her a strawberry flavored pop* This stuff is really good. "
SCP-953: *Starts eating it* Thanks
"Iris and Iris?: I dare you to kiss Cain and Abel respectively."
SCP-105 and SCP-105-ALT: *Both of them kiss their boyfriends*
"Bright: *Gives him a block of "Angry Playdoh" (C4)* This is eddible and I dare you to eat it."
Jack Bright: ... Prepare a new body for me... *Starts eating it and explodes*
"Able: *Gives him a Tazer* I dare you to shock Bright. "
SCP-076: He needs a new body for that though.
Everyone: *Gives them all a rubber duck* You now have very effective flashbang grenades.
SCP-2662: How is this supposed to be a flashbang?
SCP-053: *Pulls out a pin from the duck* Hey, what does this do by the way?
Author: *Looks at Nathaniel with a displeased look* I have only one question... Why...? *Everyone and everything goes completely blind due to the flashbang explodiong*