A few days after the January full moon, Remus began to feel like a new man.
Initially, the recovery had been difficult. Not only had he been recovering from the full moon, but also the cold, which he had caught from his friends. However, the fact that he was aware and present during the full moon had certainly helped. Being aware of himself and his identity had meant that Remus had sustained less injuries than usual, and hence didn't spend any time in the hospital wing afterwards.
This was a rare occasion. Almost every full moon would end up with Remus in the hospital wing for one reason or another. Remus was extremely thankful, as he had missed enough lessons prior to the full moon due to his illness, and he really couldn't afford to miss many more. He already felt very behind.
As soon as Remus felt like himself again, he was filled with drive, determination and purpose.
He needed to know what he had done.
He wanted to apologise if he had somehow hurt her.
He wanted to repair what they had.
Remus wasn't usually the confrontational type, but he had decided that he deserved answers to his questions, and he was determined to get them.
The weekend rolled around and the four boys sat on their respective beds, each one cradling a steaming mug of hot chocolate that Peter had gotten from the house elves in the kitchens. Remus was dipping squares of chocolate into the hot liquid, and then putting the melted mess onto his tongue.
"Mucky pup." Sirius laughed from the next bed over, noticing Remus's hands covered in melted chocolate.
"Would you like some, Padfoot?" Remus offered, but Sirius shook his head, a small smile on his lips.
Remus could just about make out his friends faces. Each boy had whispered 'lumos' and set their wands in a glass on their bedside table, so the room was lit slightly by their DIY bedside lamps.
"I don't know how I should approach this." Remus confided in his friends. He wanted a plan. Remus liked plans. He was usually the one creating them, but this time he really wanted the valuable input of his friends. Both James and Sirius had far more experience with girls than Remus, and even Peter did too, although he mostly kept things to himself.
"Why don't I blackmail Snivellus into creating you a batch of amortentia?" Sirius responded.
Remus knew that Sirius was joking, but he still rolled his eyes at him. He wished that Sirius and James weren't so against Severus, although he knew it was because of Severus's blood status snobbery and concerning love of the dark arts.
Remus thought back to the amortentia offer.
"It's not the love part I'm concerned about. I just need to know why she's avoiding me." Remus mumbled, staring down into the dark swirls in his mug.
"Just talk to her Moony." James sighed, after taking a big sip of his drink.
"It's not that easy... I've tried." Remus responded quietly, furrowing his eyebrows.
When Sunday dawned, Remus decided that he would just have to find her. It was a daunting thought, approaching someone who was actively avoiding him. He had never had to do it before. Remus couldn't think of anyone who had acted this way towards him before, and it hurt. It hurt even more than it would if a stranger were to act this way, as he had thought that they were friends. He had hoped that they were more than friends.
It was a drizzly sort of day, so most students and staff were huddled up inside the castle somewhere. The four boys spent the majority of the day playing wizard chess in the Gryffindor common room.
Lily, Alice, and Marlene joined them towards the evening.
"Watch your socks, Potter!" Lily joked as she sat down between him and Remus.
James moved his feet away from the fire just as the wool started to burn. His eyes were wide, and he ripped the singed sock from his foot. He held it up to reveal a hole in the end where it had started to smoulder. This earned a laugh from the rest of the group.
The group of seven took it in turns playing wizard chess, while the others watched, sipping on bottles of firewhisky.
A little while later, after spending the majority of the day folded up on the sofa in the Gryffindor common room, Remus decided to put on his rain coat and get some fresh air. Lily said that she would join him.
Remus had a great friendship with Lily. She had been there for him at a time when no one else was. Before the others knew. Of course Lily had figured it out long before the other boys, after all she was the brightest witch of her age, but she never said anything. To her, he was just Remus.
Back in first year, they used to explore the grounds together on weekends. Lily would notice him becoming unwell, his pale skin and bruises he tried so desperately to cover up.
"Just like old times." Remus commented as they made their way through the hallways.
Lily smiled and gave him a soft nudge with her elbow.
Remus looked ahead, and there was Freya, leaving the library.
"I'll go ahead. Meet me outside when you're done." Lily said, wanting to give them both some privacy.
Remus watched as Lily headed the opposite way, before turning back and noticing that Freya was also gone. He had only looked away for a moment. She must have noticed him and decided to make a quick exit.
Remus thought about leaving it, and catching up with Lily, but he knew that he would regret letting the opportunity go.
Remus thought that she would probably head straight back to the Ravenclaw tower. He started to head in that direction and saw her ascending the stairs.
"Freya! Wait!" He shouted, his voice echoing around the moving staircases.
He heard his voice as it bounced from wall to wall. Surely she could hear it too?
She continued to walk, pretending that she had not heard, but Remus's long legs helped him to catch up to her quickly.
"Wait." He said, putting a hand on her shoulder.
She jumped, and he instantly felt guilty. She must know. But was she really that afraid of him? The full moon had passed. She was a smart girl. Surely she knew that he was no threat while there was no full moon.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He smiled. He quickly closed his mouth, so that his teeth weren't on show, hoping that would make him less frightening.
Freya didn't respond. She looked down at the floor, avoiding his gaze.
"I've been wanting to talk to you for a little while." He began.
"Sorry Remus, I have to go." She said, picking at her fingernails.
"Please? Please just give me two minutes of your time. I just want an explanation. I think I know why you don't want to see me anymore, but I just want to hear it from you." Remus begged.
She shook her head.
"I can't. I have to go." She mumbled, turning away.
And then she was gone. Ascending the stairs once more.
What more could he do? He couldn't go after her again. It was pretty obvious that she wasn't willing to give him any sort of explanation.
She seemed nervous around him. Had she figured it out? She was a smart girl. Did she realise what he was, and want nothing to do with him?
He wanted to ask, but he didn't want to shout throughout the staircases.
Remus wanted to go and hide in a corner, to be alone, but he couldn't leave Lily waiting for him outside. He slumped down the stairs and made his way outside to find her.
It was raining, but Remus was glad. He had been stuck inside all day, and was relieved to be out in the fresh air and feel the cold rain on his skin.
Lily took one look at him and knew. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly.
"I'm sorry Remus." Lily comforted him.
Remus decided that was it. He had done all that he could. It had been fun while it had lasted, but now it was well and truly over.
They walked around the lake in silence. Lily had her hood up, but Remus left his down. He was drenched, but he didn't care. There was something soothing about the rain washing everything away. He wanted the rain to wash away his memories of her, so that he could just forget and move on.
"I've been thinking..." Lily began.
"Oh no. That's dangerous." Remus joked.
She gave him a playful shove, and the pair of them laughed.
"Do you think that perhaps you and Freya are more similar than you realise?" Lily suggested, a hint of something in her voice.
"No. I'd never leave someone without answers. It's cruel." Remus responded immediately. He felt bad for calling her cruel, but he was hurt.
Lily sighed. A few minutes passed before she spoke again.
"How long did it take for you to tell your friends?" She asked calmly.
"I didn't. They were smart kids. They figured it out for themselves. Just like you. And just like I'm assuming she has, and that's why she wants nothing to do with me." Remus sulked, dragging his feet along the muddy track.
Lily took his hand and squeezed it gently.
"Come on Remus." She responded soothingly.
"Not a lot of people want to be associated with someone like me." He admitted bitterly.
Lily stopped walking and turned to face him. It was dark, but he could just about make out her features. She looked disappointed by what he had just said.
"That's not true Remus. We all love you for you, we are your friends. We have your back. No matter what." She insisted.
"Yes, but you're... You're you... You're more accepting than most." Remus responded.
"I wouldn't say that's the case." Lily laughed.
Remus nodded, but he disagreed. That could be the only explanation. He couldn't think of any other reason why Freya would be avoiding him the way she was. Now that he thought about it, it had all started after the December full moon. Perhaps that was when it had dawned on her.
"I've noticed a couple of things about your friend Freya." Lily continued, as the pair started to walk again.
Remus listened intently to her. Lily was always very observant.
"The day of the January full moon, she wasn't in potions. You wouldn't know this of course, because you weren't there either." Lily commented.
Remus kept listening.
"The day after the December full moon, she could hardly write. She's usually scribbling away at 100 miles per hour during lessons. She takes the most notes out of everyone. But not that day. She looked in pain." Lily continued.
"So what?" Remus asked. He thought he knew what she was implying, but it was impossible. He would have noticed.
"She also had moss in her hair. Unusual for someone who is usually so neat and tidy." Lily added.
"What are you trying to say?" Remus asked, although he already knew what Lily was suggesting.
"You know exactly what I'm trying to say Moony, you're smart, you don't fool me." Lily laughed.
"Sometimes I need things spelled out for me." Remus responded.
"I think that she's a werewolf too."