Katherina imagened the morning to come as a fairytale bliss. The sheets where she slept bundle up like a cocoon around her and her companion. The sun's rays would peek through the curtains illuminating the room gold. Caldor would twist until his arm was around her waist and wings covered them like an extra blanket. He'd whisper in her ear sweet nothings and she'd probably make a sly comment to which he'd wacked her with his wing.
The cabin was filled with the smell of hot chocolate and freshly baked bread with Thea and Sahar quietly setting the table in a comforting silence, sneaking certain looks to the other oblivious to the company around them.
Hemera would stumble to the table, her eyes still barely open but it wouldn't stop her from scooping up a spoon full of whatever breakfast her sister and Sahar cooked before gulping it all down until she slumped over the couch.
They'd laugh and giggle over this moment of paradise but it wasn't what happened. When she awoke, Caldor's side was cold. There was no warmth or gentle morning sun, no hot chocolate burning in the kitchen. Sahar and Thea weren't dancing around each other, and Hemera never came.
Instead, it had been days since then. Those moments of just peace and living in the oblivious moment without worrying about reality knock at the door.
Or in her case, Rhysand sending letter after letter since winter has passed.
He had missed her, he wrote. Nyx would ask about her and wonder why she had gone. They wanted her back. But she didn't want to go.
She was content here and it wasn't because she wasn't happy there, it was just this illusion she built here was her paradise and Katherina decided she deserved it.
She deserves this life...right?
But she wasn't cruel and they had been so caring that she wasn't about to disappear, so she wrote back in soft words with a hopefully convincing story on why it may take her a while more to return but that she will. She promises.
When they had reached the Spring court,it was just like she imagined. The road was hard but it was exhilarating to say the least that they all got to see the beauty of flowers blooming and grass like sheets.
She breathed in the sweet scent of euphoria before letting the biggest grin on her face. The others were laying in the grass beside her and they laid there which made her shed tears.
She couldn't describe what Spring did to her, with the peaceful feeling of Life slipping away and living in the divine consciousness. Where everything just made sense, everything here was right.
She couldn't understand how Feyre could destroy this world.
Her eyes drifted to the sky but she couldn't see the ocean's reflection of them. It was just...blue. With clouds and sun. Just colors of colors and grass.
She couldn't take in this gorgeous moment to keep in memory. Eventually they'd have to send them back home. Sahar to Dawn, Hemera and Thea to Day and she and Caldor back to Night.
But it could never be the same as it once was.
They would eventually have to go back, and simply move on as if this had never happened.
Don't rush this, Katherina.
She felt the air still for a moment when nobody looked.
Time is still on your side, take advantage of it. Live in this moment and all those after. They aren't going away anytime soon.
And it was so easy to fall into his words and lose yourself. She supposes it was his doing; a monster sings lullabies in her ear, spilling sweet nothings and she'll fall right into his trap.
At times it was cornering how easily she'd listen to him. But for everythings he done for her; how could she not just fall when he said jump?
She tried once more to open her eyes; to see beyond her worries.
Everything went slow, Katherina could see the beat of a bird's wings, the ruffling of their feathers flying with the wind. The humming of viberency in their surroundings, the singing of leaves, the soft earth below they like a bed.
This is Spring.
"It's a land of wonder, where not even the prettiest Nights can top. There; nothing dies, it's like a living, constant replaying memory that never fades."
She opened her eyes to Thea and Sahar dancing away to the sound of wind blowing, bells and tweets of song and Hemera left to explore it all. She could feel them, each inhale, each breath, touch, heartbeat.
She felt it all when she held Caldor's hand, straddling him as she sat on his lap and met his lips with hers, she didn't take advantage of it.
You're almost there, the voice whispers.
****
Night came faster than expected. And it was nothing but a Nightmare. There may have been a moon but it was a far cry from the city of Starlight.
Words became stuck in her throat as she approached the fire they built.
She had to go back, she had to go back, she had to go back.
She rubbed her palms on her pants to take off the sweat starting to build there.
Don't rush it.
"Where to now?" Hemera spoke. "We have traveled from Night, to Day, to Dawn, to Spring. Katherina used her cool teleportation ability to get here; Which is totally badass, by the way."
Katherina blushed. She was exhausted after using that much power but they had been there to steady her.
It would just take time to learn and control them better.
Like Mother, Like Daughter.
"In a rush, Hemera?" Caldor teased.
She gave him a tight smile, "Your presence has drained me immensely. I'm trying to get as far away as possible."
"You'd miss me too much."
"HA! In your dreams."
"You'd wish I'd dream of you,"
"Ones where I'm stabbing you? I dream of those too."
"Hope my back doesn't hurt your knife."
"You both are insufferable." Sahar signed. Katherina turned her head to hide her smile. In truth, she couldn't agree more with him but she liked that they are getting along.
"You're one to talk face-sucker," Hemera muttered.
Sort of.
"What's a face-sucker?" Caldor laughs, and Katherina couldn't hold back her own.
"He puts his lips on Thea all the time when he thinks we're not looking, it's weird! It looks like he's sucking her face."
"Do you mean kissing?" Katherina snorted.
They all laughed harder at Thea's flustered face and her sisters confused one.
Thea has always been a hopeless romantic. Reading stories after stories and writing her own true love tales. Katherina was never much of a reader; but all the books she had ever kept and read in her room back at the Night Court and travels was Thea's tales of romance that had her blushing everywhere.
Hemera has always been the opposite. She never cared for romantic love when all she ever needed was her sister. When Thea hurt, she hurt. When she was happy, Hemera was happy.
Katherina couldn't imagine what would happen if one would lose the other.
"What if we went to the Human Lands?"
All eyes turned to her.
Thea chuckled slightly, her shoulder tense as she met her gaze. "That's an unusual thought, why would you say that?"
"I mean, we've explored every court. Clearly these few weeks we have been together we haven't visited them all but I've traveled them all over the last few years. Why not cross the border? Explore more of what's out there?"
"Humans are filthy creatures. They kill Fae like us without a second look. Why would we want to visit their poisoned land?" Sahar barked. She'd never seen him get so defensive but she should have guessed that even him being an open-minded person; the topic of humans is a different matter altogether.
She wasn't a fan of humans either and rather had a dislike for them but something in her wanted to go against Sahar like a defensive mechanism.
"They aren't devils either, Sahar. Just as there aren't saints in all Fae. Besides, The High Lady of the Night Court was a human once and she saved all Fae from the Queen's reign."
"I never believed that tale." Hemera scoffed, "I mean, how can a mere human; weak and pathetic as she was, beat a woman who had every High Lord as their knees? Even with the help of your Father, Katherina; that couldn't have been enough to beat the Queen."
"Almost as if she wanted to get killed."
"What?" Katherina snapped her head to Thea.
"Hemera's right. Amarantha played God for years and had High Lords to heads bowed down to her. She was as clever as she was sadistic. How can she have been beaten so easily?"
Sahar nodded at her, "She had everything stained like blood on her hands but in the end, it wasn't enough for her."
Katherina felt her heart race, like a snake was squeezing her lungs and she couldn't breathe. The flame was getting hotter and hotter and Katherina felt the smoke blind her vision.
They were wrong. Her Mother wouldn't willingly let herself be killed.
Feyre was as sharp as they come. She was a survivor; she beat her Mother because that's what her body was demanding for her. To Survive.
A Wolf versus A Dragon. And the Wolf won... what an unexpected result.
But it couldn't be. Amarantha couldn't have planned her Death; she just wasn't clever enough to see Feyre's bite from all the flame she kept setting upon.
"How does this relate to going to visit the Human Lands?" Katherina snapped. "Amarantha was a fool and she died- that's it. Death was a better punishment than living with the embarrassment of being defeated by a human. Who that human-being said- is High Lady of the Night Court and saved Prythian in just one fight after all the wars the Fae have been through to defeat an Ex-General of Hybern."
She wanted them to drop the topic because when it came to her Mother, Katherina became vicious.
Scars and burns tattooed her skin but she grew to see them as love her Mother gave her.
"Katherina's right, no point in wondering about the dead when they are six feet under our feet." Caldor swung a wing around her, a gesture for comfort but Katherina had an ugly feeling of ripping it off of her. "And I for one and all for visiting the Human Lands. Show them that they shouldn't be encouraged to mess with us."
"Causing an unnecessary fight just for your own amusement. How ashamed you should feel," Hemera smirked.
"I'd believe your words if it wasn't for that grin on your face."
Katherina tightened her fist. She needed to calm down but all that came to her mind was the blackness that surrounded her. Cold bars pressing into her skin as she heard the cries and moans from her Mother and Father above her.
She'd stare at nothing and when her Mother would return with her nails sharpened to slice her skin... Katherina prepared herself for the gift she was to receive.
"One day you'll thank me for this." her Mother kissed her head, blood staining her lips as Katherina could barely blink. "I haven taken everything from you. No one can steal from you when you have nothing to lose."
Katherina simply cried salty tears. Her voice lost echos of screams before her Mother smoothed her hair out. Something so gentle never felt so hurtful.
"How about one night? Not even a full day but just enough to visit and leave as quickly as we came." Now Katherina was curious, what exactly did the humans have to be able to defeat Fae so easily and how can they get rid of it to claim them the top of the food chain?
She said this to the group but kept her gaze to Sahar. If he wouldn't go; neither wouldn't Thea and wherever Thea goes, Hemera follows.
His stone eyes glared at her but he nodded. "I'm doing this for you, Katherina. Don't make me regret it."
She smiled. "However the moment a human even looks more than a few seconds at us, we're gone, understood?"
Seems fair, she nodded.
***
Caldor offered his water canteen to her as they all readied for bed. "Everything okay?"
"Yea." She didn't take his offer.
He frowned, "I know the topic of your Mother must have been hard, especially with the ridiculous idea of her getting herself killed but I wouldn't put much thought int-"
"Do you think it's true?" she whispered. What if she was crazy? But if Caldor thought it then maybe he either lost his mind as well or something didn't add up.
"No. Like you said," he held her hand and rubbed her palm gently, "She was a fool and our High Lady defeated her because she fought her way to live and take down the beast." He gave her a soft smile and brought her close. Katherina felt his touch burn.
"Get some rest, it'll be a cold night with no fire so we'll have to huddle up." He opened his wing to her but she smiled and declined.
"I have to use the bathroom, I'll be right back."
She felt shame flush her cheeks. She's never wanted to get away so fast but it was just her nerves. She needed to breathe. She couldn't think.
She needs the Darkness.
Katherina made sure to walk a while until she reached just a few minutes from the Border where Human starts and Spring ends. The night was darker than it usually was and moon was covered by clouds, turning the sky grey.
Like a storm brewing, waiting for its thunder to strike but it wasn't time yet.
She should have stopped but her feet kept dragging her until dead grass met her boots. When trees turned from healthy to dead in a matter of steps. It compared nothing to the Winter Court but she could see the snow piling up at the roots of the trees, and blood vanishing and reappearing in a blink.
Her friends were miles from her and she left them in an unfamiliar court that she hadn't had even a day to fully take in.
Her legs ached and she slumped against the nearest thing and felt the bark dig in her skin like spikes.
We need to talk, Katherin thought to the Darkness.
She waited and a beat passed but no show.
She didn't even need to think and he was already there. Why wasn't he coming?
Katherina played with the light forming at her fingertips, like fireflies under her skin. Why wasn't he showing?
The cold began to really hit her and she was trembling as snow began to fall from the skin. The flakes melting at the touch of her skin.
Where are you?
Katherina sighed. Something wasn't right, he wouldn't just not show up. Especially when she needed him most. She felt selfish at that thought. What could he say if he even showed?
She thought through everything and nothing added up. Even a God didn't know why the Sun began to burn and why Katherina decided to have a muffin this morning.
She stood in a huff and decided to head back to camp when a dear came to her line of sight. Its big beady eyes staring at her and its ear twitched. Katherina had asked for one night to visit the Human Lands. Even as reductant as Sahar was, maybe deer meat might lighten his mood.
She had no bow or arrow to kill the creature but Katherina was good at hunting. With a knife ready at her hand, Katherina quickly became the hunter and stared the deer down.
She chased.
The cold was now gliding into her skin but she needed to focus. It was fast and agile. But she was a Survivor. And she wouldn't let this thing slip away when she was simply playing with her food by letting it think it could run.
Katherina jumped the beast before it could slip into the town that they had approached.
Even father from Caldor and everyone else she intended and light caught her eye. Everything bland and simply it was an eyesore but one Katherina was interested in understanding if she didn't have a deer struggling under her.
She looked in its eyes as she tucked the knife in its heart, whispering a prayer of thanks for the life it's given to her and wiped the blood on her pants before dragging it by the hind legs to start walking back.
Glancing slightly at the town she will visit just a moment tomorrow but somehow feeling as if this will be the last time her eyes will see it.
Katherina wasn't sure how far she was but she knew how to track her way back.
Something cracked behind her and Katherina tensed. Gripping the knife tightly and examining her surroundings.
Something was watching her.
She imagined a wolf or cat catching the eye of her kill and intending to steal it from her. Katherina stood over the deer to show it was hers and dared them to try and take it from her.
Katherina.
Now he decided to show?
Run.
Glowing blue eyes met her and she let her power flow to make her glow in dominance of power.
Her rival began to run at the show but Katherina didn't think twice. The Darkness told her to run, maybe he had meant to run after them.
She got close enough to see this wasn't an animal but a human. But when she barely had caught up to catch this mystery being, they slipped so fast she couldn't blink.
Humans are slow creatures.
This was a Fae.
Katherina threw her knife at them, so that when they'd turn, they'd think they would run opposite from where she threw but falling right into her trap. Katherina dug her nails to them, and gripped as they rolled together from the fall.
This Fae was strong and locked their legs to hold her still but Katherina was strong as well and hit their ribs.
They hissed at the impact and pushed her away but Katherina clawed at their throats, her blood boiling to summon Light and reveal this stalker.
Why were they following her? Why was a Fae in the Human lands? Why-
Katherina felt her hand burn and she pushed them away. Knives were digging into her heart and she felt her blood drain. The cold cut her hands and she couldn't breathe, It was like hell fighting in her body and she stumbled backwards.
This wasn't real, this wasn't real, this wasn't real.
The clouds got pitched and thunder struck, shattering the sky. A battle of lighting above them yet no wind blew.
The snow stopped and time stilled.
Her eyes couldn't focus but when they met their, they were all she could see.
They were ecstasy and torment all in just a look. The fine line of Love and Hate that Katherina couldn't decide which it was.
Light burned and she became a star; emotion after emotion hit and it felt as if each feeling turned into power and threatened, warned to overtake her unless she released it but all Katherina could think was them.
Her senses were intoxicated with them.
Her voice cracked and she sobbed, "Ziv?"
They didn't even smile as they greeted her.
"Hello Katherina."