"where's damiano?" i asked as i walked into the living room with the dogs, i bent down to unclip their leashes to which they immediately ran to curl up by the fire,
"out for a smoke," victoria said, not looking up from where she was cooking,
"really? it's so cold.." i said as i grabbed a chair at the kitchen island.
"well you know damiano, can barely go 2 hours with out a cigarette.." she replied as she went to rinse her hands,
"so what are you making?" i glanced over at her laptop that had the recipe pulled up, "ooh shrimp tacos, classy," she giggled and turned back to me and the food.
"how long has damiano been outside?" i asked before walking towards the back door,
"like 30 minutes maybe?" victoria said and looked around the kitchen.
"really? i'm gonna go get him.. it's really cold vic i don't want him to freeze.." i draped my jacket over my shoulders and headed outside and right where i expected to see him, damiano with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter..
"hi!" he said as i sat down next to him,
"hi.." i sighed
"something wrong?" he looked at me with a concerned look.
"yeah no i'm good.. just a long day.." i shivered and smiled weakly.. i watched damiano put out and light yet another cigarette..
"want one?" he said offering the pack to me.
"no i.. i don't smoke anymore.." i said and looked down at my feet, feeling guilty.
"since when?" he chuckled,
"3 months ago." i mumbled,
"oh.. ok." he said, he looked down at the ground awkwardly as well.
"damiano how many cigarettes have you had since you came out here.." i said without looking up from the ground..
"i don't know this is probably the 6th or 7th one.." he said quietly,
"oh.. well uh you should probably come inside after this one, i don't want you to get too cold.." i said and without looking back at him i walked back inside.
"so?" vic said looking at me holding a bowl of sauce for the tacos,
"oh.. i just told him he should come inside cause i didn't want him to get too cold.."
"y/n you know what i mean, how many?"
"i think he said 7 or 8, i tried not to listen.."
"y/n if you don't like him smoking so much why don't you just tell him.. he would do anything for you, you know he would quit for you in a heartbeat." she said setting down the mixing bowl and putting her hand on my shoulder. "i'll talk to him for you.." she said and gave me a sympathetic smile.
"thanks vic, call me when dinner's ready i'm gonna be in the home-studio," i said as i grabbed a bass tuner and set off for the studio.
"alright, probably will be another half hour.." she spoke..
*time skip*
i was working on a new song when damiano came into the studio..
"hi.." he said quietly and sat down, not looking up from the floor the whole time,
"hi!" i said forgetting what had happened 20 minutes prior,
"vic told me.."
"told you what honey?" i said as i returned my focus back to writing the bass tabs for the new song,
"what you said about me smoking.."
"ohh." i sighed and looked down just as damiano was doing.
"i'll quit! i've been meaning to quit anyways i just never had the motivation! i'll do it i swear!"
"no it's ok.. you don't have to.." i said still not looking up from my feet anxiously tapping on the floor
"are you sure?" he spoke as he lifted up my chin, forcing me to look him in the eye..
"yeah it's fine really.." i said as i returned my focus back to the music i was attempting to write,
"ok then.." he got up and left the room and i was left with my thoughts..
*time skip*
i brushed my teeth and quickly went to the bathroom before i crawled into bed, strictly on my side, i usually had no respect for 'sides' of the bed and me and damiano slept together in the middle, but tonight i wanted to sleep on my side, it wasn't fair of me to be mad at damiano for smoking but i was. i knew i told him i was okay with it but i wasn't, i didn't want him to smoke anymore but it was too late to tell him now.
"hi baby!" damiano uttered as he entered our shared bedroom, he was considerate enough to leave the lights off, however when he got no response from me he turned them on, assuming i was asleep.
i kept my eyes closed and just tried to fall asleep but failed to do so before damiano could slide into bed next to me, i scooted away but when i did so he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back "come on baby why are you ignoring me?"
"i don't know i just don't wanna cuddle tonight.." i sighed as i scooted back over to my side of the bed, damiano scooted over to his and for one of the first times ever we slept facing away from each other on the edges of the bed.
when i woke up the next morning damiano wasn't there, the room was cold and it felt really empty, i dragged myself out of bed and put on one of damiano's hoodies, i considered taking it off for a minute but ultimately decided not to, i was mad at him i didn't break up with him.
i hurried downstairs to where thomas and victoria were making smoothies for everyone,
"morning y/n! smoothie?" thomas said as he threw some blueberries into the blender,
"strawberry banana please!" i spoke while bending down to pet me and damiano's cat bidet.
" you guys excited for the interview later?" ethan asked between sips of his own smoothie.
"yup!" we all exclaimed in unison,
"where's damiano?" i said quietly,
"i think he went to his brothers house or something, he came into my room last night and told me," victoria spoke softly, "he said he was going to meet us at the interview.."
"oh.. ok" i glanced up from the floor when thomas handed me my smoothie,
*time skip to getting ready for the interview*
we got to the set and started to get ready and eventually damiano showed up, he entered the dressing room and everyone went quiet..
"hey guys.." he near whispered,
"you guys i'm gonna go set up in the other dressing room, so it isn't as crowded." i said and victoria packed up her stuff and followed me out
"what was that about?" victoria pressed as we set our stuff down in the new dressing room,
"i just.. god i'm so angry with him!" i blurted out.
"is it about the.. smoking?" she went quiet on the last word,
"yeah i just.. i don't know it's stupid.. i told him i was okay with it but i'm not!" i exclaimed as i huffed and sat down.
"hey it's ok to not be ok with it.. it's a filthy habit that's why we quit right?" she spoke as she sat down and rubbed my back,
"ok places in 5!" i heard a crew member shout,
"hey, let's talk about this later.. ok? finish getting ready now.."
"ok.." i grabbed a makeup brush and quickly put on a bit of highlighter then grabbed my shoes and was ready to go..
we got onto the set and then they told us a bit about what we were going to talk about and the game we were going to play then they told us we were going to start filming soon so we all grabbed a seat,
"hey dam.. why don't i sit next to y/n this time.." i overheard victoria whisper to damiano..
"oh.. yeah ok that's probably smart.." i heard him mumble in response.
we were not too deep into the interview when the interviewer asked about me and damiano,
"so y/n and damiano i heard you two have been pretty hot and heavy recently, what's up with your relationship?"
"well uh, me and damiano have been together for what 6 years now?" i said as i counted the years on my fingers"
"that's about how long the band has been around, were you dating before or after the band was formed?" the interviewer questioned,
"me and y/n have been dating since our fourth band rehearsal, we were friends for a while before the band was formed but one night on our fourth rehearsal we got drunk, one thing led to another and now here we are!" damiano blurted out and smiled at the camera.
"and where are you now?" the interviewer looked at the camera then, me, then damiano.
"i'd say we're going pretty strong, we live together and we have 3 adopted cats and a dog together, we do everything together hah" i chuckled and looked down at my feet..
"yeah there's definitely a lot of chemistry there," damiano added and also looked down to the floor.
"now you both looked down at the floor and look a bit anxious, is this not the full truth?" the interviewer pressed.
"honestly, me and damiano are in a bit of a rough patch right now, we've been fighting for a couple days now.." i said quietly and looked up as not to let my watery eyes affect my makeup.
"oh.. i'm sorry to hear, i hope it gets better for you two soon.." the interviewer smiled at the camera, "moving on we're going to play two truths and a lie now!"
we wrapped up the interview and headed back to our dressing rooms, i hurried up and got ready so me and victoria could drive home,
"meet me out in the car ok?" victoria spoke as she exited the room, i finished getting ready and as i was about to leave i heard a knock on the door.
"who is it?" i called out,
"it's me," damiano ducked his head into the room,
"oh.. hi.." i said as he entered the room, "what's up?"
"i just.. wanted to talk about the other day.." he started fiddling with his rings,
"there's not much to talk about, you know how i feel about smoking and how often you smoke. even if you just cut down the amount you smoke a day i mean anything really it's just so much!"
"you told me you didn't care if i smoked or not!"
"WELL I LIED! ALRIGHT DOES THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY, I LIED DAMIANO, I HATE IT WHEN YOU SMOKE, IT'S KILLING YOU NOT SO SLOWLY AND IT'S DISGUSTING AND HORRIFYING TO WATCH!"
"i didn't know you felt that way.." he said holding back tears, he looked up with glossy eyes and looked me in the eye,
"damiano i just can't do it anymore, i can't watch you and this disgusting habit anymore.. until you can grow up and stop it we're done.."
"it's not that easy.." he whispered to the point i almost couldn't hear it,
"you think i don't know that? you think i didn't go through it too? don't even try to start with me damiano, get out, don't bother me anymore." i said and opened the door, he stood up and slowly walked out of the room, i grabbed my things and followed.
i found vic in the car pretty easily, i put my things in the backseat and hopped into the car, i tried and failed to hold back my tears..
"y/n what happened?" she said trying not to take her eyes off the road,
"i did it. i broke up with him.." i wailed,
"oh honey.. i'm so sorry, but you know what maybe it's for the best.." she looked at me with a sympathetic face.
*time skip to the next day*
"alright you guys ready to go?" thomas said as we all hopped into the car,
"yup, wait.. where's damiano?" i questioned and looked around..
"guess.." thomas said quietly.
"of course, cause who doesn't chainsmoke before going to see their manager and record label!"
"i'll go get him.." victoria said as she slowly stepped out of the car, shivering from the cold weather. not too long after she came back, damiano by her side, they hopped into the car and off we went.
we got home and i went back to me and damiano's house, he was staying at his brothers again.. i sat in the window and cried, i watched the rain and jumped every time i heard thunder or saw lightning, i was so afraid of the thunder and the lightning and the only person who could make me feel better was the person who wasn't here..
just then i heard a pounding on the door, i walked over to it and looked out the window next to it, it was damiano..
"what the hell do you want?" i shouted through the door,
"i need some more clothes!" he shouted back,
"oh please i know that's not really why you're here!" i refuted,
"y/n i know you must be terrified right now, you don't have to love me but let me at least make sure you're ok, please!"
"damiano no, we broke up okay! give me a valid reason to believe in you! to trust you! and to love you again!"
"i quit." i barely heard him and i opened the door,
"you what?"
"i quit."
"you quit what damiano? trying to make me fall in love with you again? quit this relationship? it's over damiano! it's over!" i sobbed and went to shut the door again and i heard a faint noise escape from his mouth..
"i quit smoking."
i swung the door back open..
"you're serious?" i said and gave him a stern look.
"yes." i looked into is big brown eyes and i could tell he was sincere..
"get in here you idiot!" i said and dragged him inside from the freezing cold, soaking wet outdoors.. "i'll go get a hot shower running for you meanwhile you should get out of those wet clothes.. i don't want you to freeze.."
he took a quick shower and we brushed our teeth together, i put one of my beauty headbands on him to keep his hair back, i did his skincare and we put on our pajamas.. we hopped on the bed yet this time i stayed on my side, unsure of if damiano would want to cuddle with me..
"well what are you waiting for?" he said from the middle of the bed with open arms, i scooted on over and never felt better,
"damiano?" i spoke softly, looking him in the eye..
"what's up baby?" he said as he held me in one arm and stroked my cheek,
"i'm sorry for fighting with you.." i said as i began to tear up "and i'm sorry for saying that i didn't love you and that i wasn't in love with you anymore.. you know i will always be in love with you, i can't control it, and nothing you could ever do could make me not love you."
"it's ok baby, i love you, thanks for helping me realize i needed to quit.." he said before kissing my forehead, i jumped at the sound of more thunder and damiano pulled me closer to him,
"i've got you baby, don't worry i've got you.." he whispered as he began to stroke my cheek again, i buried my face into his chest and fell asleep, when i woke up damiano was there, watching me, and stroking my cheek yet again..
"it wasn't a dream?" i said smiling and looking up at damiano,
"it wasn't a dream.." damiano said before pulling me closer to him, which seemed impossible from how close we already were, and kissed me.
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ahhh i actually had a plot in mind when i was writing this time!
love you all so much <3,
caz out.
word count: 2565