"Do I look alright?" I ask June, fixing my ponytail in the mirror while she sits behind me. She rolls her eyes. "For the hundredth time. Yes." She answers, leaning back and sipping on her coffee.
June knows about what happened but she had enough decency to not ask me too much about it because she knew that it was obviously bothering me. She told me how worried she was and that she's so glad that I'm back and healthy. That's what matters anyway.
Now Max is coming. Three weeks after I told Valentin I want to see Max, he arranged it and told me he would get her here today. I'm so excited that my palms are sweating and I have too much saliva in my mouth. Do I have to throw up? No, I don't. I'm just very excited and can't wait to see her. That's why I want to look decent. Decent enough so she doesn't think something bad happened to me or that I'm unhappy here. I don't want her to know anything about the kidnapping, my dad or Valentin in particular. Usually I tell her almost everything but these are things I don't want to include her in. This shouldn't do something to her life. She doesn't need to know things that will burden her. The less she knows, the better.
"I'm so bloated." I can't stop inspecting myself in the mirror. It's important to me that Max sees me happy and well. "You're not. Stop overanalysing everything." She shakes her head but I bite my lower lip with worry.
"I should go and wait at the front door. I want to welcome her." I turn and take a step toward the door but halt. "Maybe not. I don't know how she will react." I go back to the mirror and can't ignore June's eyes on me so I look at her. She looks overwhelmed with my excitement but I haven't seen Max in months. I miss her so much, I never thought I'd see her again but at the same time I never gave up hope and I'm so thankful that Valentin lets me see her here. Meeting her in a coffee shop, restaurant or a park wouldn't feel right. Seeing her in my new home is what I need and I'm so grateful that Valentin is okay with that. It was his idea anyway.
He's making sure she gets here safely so he'll arrive with her.
It makes me nervous. This whole situation makes me nervous. It feels like I'll accept this life and so will those who I had in my old one. I already accepted it. It's valid to me and I love it but I'll introduce it to Max and that makes me nervous.
"I should welcome her at the door. I know." I go back and walk across the entrance to the front door but before I reach it I change my mind again. Her opinion matters so much to me. I don't even know how to explain this to her but I guess I'll improvise. I need to fill the holes in the story and answer her questions in a way that won't get her suspicious because I can't tell her about my dad and Lidia and that my dad doesn't want me back. I have to make her believe that I came here by my own choice.
I almost reach the doors of the living space as I hear a voice and my whole body freezes with goosebumps all over my skin.
"Anastasia."
That sweet voice...
I'd recognise it everywhere. It's so soft and unique that it brings tears to my eyes.
I turn around and almost float back to the entrance where she stands next to Valentin, way smaller and more fragile than him. My breath hitches and a tear escapes my eyeball as I run towards her and she meets me in the middle. She wraps her arms around me so tightly that I can barely breathe and I do the same to her, realising that I missed her more than I thought.
"Where have you been?" She cries into my neck and I hold her tightly, finally breathing again. I missed her more than I thought. Between all this chaos I didn't even notice how much I needed her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I tell her. I didn't have the chance to do it earlier but I should've tried. I should've known how worried she was. If I would've been her, I would've lost my mind. "God, I tried to contact your parents so often. I even asked mine and no one listened to me. I wasn't even allowed to look for you." The pain in her voice makes the guilt eat me from the inside. She doesn't know how cruel our parents can be and although her mentioning that her parents didn't care either because they're probably involved too hurts, I can't tell her about anything. I wouldn't upset her like that. My picture got repainted but hers is still untouched. I don't want to change that.
We back off to see each others faces. Her eyes wander over my face and my body. She looks down at me and my heart jackhammers against my chest. I look over her shoulders to make eye contact with Valentin. He gives me a soft smile and winks at me. I smile back and blow him a silent kiss.
"You look... so different." She says, holding both of my hands. I squeeze them tightly. "I'll take that as a compliment." I laugh and she joins me. "You should. You're literally glowing. You look happy and... mature." Her eyes are shining. I can see that she is happy to see me like this and that makes me feel comfortable. I can't hide how I matured in these past months. The experience got me.
"I'll tell you everything." I take her hand and want to lead her to the living space as Valentin stops us. "Love, would you give me a minute?" All hairs on my body stand on end and my legs turn into pudding when he calls me like that.
Love.
My cheeks turn pink and I try to act natural. I know he didn't call me like that just because Max is here. He's not acting as if we're a couple, we are one. Even in the last couple of days he showed me so much affection that I could swear the old Valentin is dead.
I smile and nod, telling Max "June, a really good friend will welcome you in the living room. I'll be right behind you." She gives me a smile and walks past me. So I step forward and close the gap between Valentin and me. Totally curious about what he wants, I let my head fall back and stare at him. He pulls a phone out of his pocket and reaches it to me. A red iPhone. It's brand new.
I look at him with big eyes and he smiles. "You'll need to give Max your new number don't you? You wouldn't want to disappear and cut the contact off after meeting her again." He really thought of everything and he trust me. I mean after all this time he should but it still means a lot to me. Knowing that he doesn't have any doubts or worries about this is relieving and nice. I tiptoe and give him a kiss before I back off and I can feel how he wants more because his lips are longing for mine. It makes me smile but I can't give him what he wants yet. Maybe tonight since we're sleeping in the same bed anyway.
"I'll be in my office." He stays home in case I need anything and knowing that he's here means the world to me. It makes me more comfortable and safe and he knows that. "Thank you." I put the phone in my pocket and feel strange about the feeling of it since I haven't held a phone in my hand or my pockets for a long time. It's weird to have one again. I always thought I can't live without my phone but apparently I didn't even miss it. So I'm not victim and phone addict. That's nice to know.
He smiles and I turn to leave but he grabs my wrist and yanks me back, planting his lips on mine again. I grin against his lips and back off when I feel his hand slide down my lower waist to my ass. He grabs it tightly but I put my hands on his chest and try to push him off.
"Not now! Please, Max is waiting." I whisper, suddenly scared that she can hear us. I would be embarrassed if she would see us like this, although I'm not ashamed of it.
He's already breathing heavily and I can't deny the throbbing between my legs but now is not the time for it. "But after that, I'll catch your ass alone." He whispers back. I have to giggle as he sends me away and I can feel his eyes all over me. It makes my knees weak but I manage to walk into the living space with a steeled spine.
Max is sitting there with June, already totally into a conversation. That's how she is. She gets along well with people so easily that having to find a topic to talk about is never complicated. It never gets boring with her, no awkward silence, no drama, no worries.
"There she is." June says and gets up. So does Max. "I'll leave you two alone." She's so polite. I wouldn't have minded if she stayed but it's nice to be alone with Max after such a long time. There is so much to tell and talk about that my heart skips beats when I think about it.
Valentin didn't limit me. He didn't tell me what I could talk about and what not but that doesn't mean I can just speak about whatever I want and spill the beans. There are plenty of things I can't tell her. Friends do tell each other everything but I have to keep my loved one's secrets and these secrets are way more important than gossip.
I sit down next to her. She squirms, totally excited and curious. "This place is insane and seeing you again feels surreal." She starts. I knew this would be hard but it feels so much harder now. "Do you even know how scared I was? I thought something happened to you. Millions of scenarios went through my head. Now you're here, healthy, happy and full of life and then there's this man that knocks on my door and picks me up." I have to smile when she speaks of Valentin but I also do understand her concern. I would be totally irritated and confused if I would be her and she would be me. Disappearing for months after a phone call and then being found in the castle of a strange, intimidating man.
"I should be so upset and angry but I'm just glad you're okay." I can tell that she's still upset but relieved to see me and she expects answers. I will give her some because I prepared my lies. It's mean and disrespectful of me to lie to her and act like she's stupid but that's not how I mean it. I don't do it to fool her but because I have to protect the truth. I have to protect Valentin and myself. Besides that, I don't want to involve Max. She doesn't deserve to be pulled into something like this. I had such a hard time getting used to it and I don't want it to be the same for her.
So I tell her that I fell in love with Valentin a long time ago and that I decided to run away with him after an ugly argument with my parents. I came prepared and thought of the details. I told her that I didn't reach out to her and couldn't be contacted because I stayed away from phones and social media and all that so my parents wouldn't find me and that they stopped looking at me after a while because they got mad at me for running away and leaving them. And that's why her parents didn't allow her to look for me either. Also that we had some problems and I couldn't reach out before we got everything settled. Kind of simple and easy. Hopefully realistic enough to convince her.
She shakes her head, a bit sad and confused but also understanding. I know that this will never be enough for her and she will always find it weird and unbelievable but I doubt that she will ask for more since she finally has me again.
"Why did you never tell me about Valentin?" She must be hurt because we never kept things from each other and I just told her I had a secret relationship for months. I would be upset too if she'd do something like this and keep it from me for such a long time. Especially for running away with a stranger.
I shrug. "You know me. I like to keep things to myself sometimes and there was so much going on, I needed to figure it out for myself first." I hope she will understand.
I wipe my lips with the back of my hand since my mouth feels really wet. I have more saliva than usually lately. Which is very weird but I guess I'm just nervous.
"I was so worried... but seeing you now makes the worries fade away." She smiles and I see how her gaze softens. It makes me feel relieved. This all gives me hope. Things will go back to normal but even better this time. I have my new life with my best friend in it and this time I don't hate my life.
She squirms and smiles. Active and energetic as always. "Now tell me more about Valentin." She says and I have to laugh. I knew she'd want to know more about him because he's nothing like the guys from high school, our neighbourhood or our environment. More like those from magazines, movies and books. She knows that and that's why she wants details. "How is he? How did you even meet him and is he as dangerous as he looks? Does he have a big di-..." I have to interrupt her because I have to laugh and I definitely won't speak this openly about Valentin's most masculine part. Especially not in the living space where he or the maids could walk in any second.
"Oh my god! Please!" I laugh, already blushing as if I mentioned his dick and she laughs with me, reading it in my face and my eyes how Valentin's dick is. I give in. "I'll tell you everything but first I'll get us something to eat and drink. Is there anything specific you want?" I get up. She looks up at me and opens her mouth to say something but in that moment we hear a gunshot and wince. Her eyes widen and I freeze.
No. Not now.
My heart skips a beat immediately, scared of what could be happening but before I need to figure it out I hear Valentin's voice and the securities run inside from the back door.
"Anastasia!" He screams from above. "What is going on?" Max asks, totally panicking as the securities come straight towards us. I don't know what to say but I need to find a solution. Valentin is calling for me and I know in moments like these I need to listen and follow his orders but I can't leave Max alone. The panic is written in her face and so is it in mine because I'm just as scared and confused as her. My blood pressure hits the roof when more gunshots fall and we hear people scream. Max screams too, scared and covering her head but it's all happening outside. My breath hitches and I reach out for her and push her towards the securities. "No! What are you doing?" She screams as the securities grab her. "They'll take you home, I'll call you!" I tell her and accompany them to the door. "I can't leave you alone like this!" She turns to me but the guys take her out of the back door. "I'll be safe and you need to be too!" I scream before the door closes. This will be hard to explain and what I told her will be hard to believe after this but I'll handle it. I'll explain it somehow. She always keeps my secrets well so it's okay.
The noises get louder so I run straight for the stairs and up. In the middle I bump into Valentin because I didn't watch out and hunch forward because the sudden pain in my belly makes me fold for a second. We collapsed a bit too hard and it caused a little tension in my belly but I get myself back together really quickly because he grabs me by my upper arms and holds me.
"I'm sorry, love. Go to my office and lock the door." He hands me a key and sends me upstairs. I nod and run, hearing more noises and Valentin scream things in Italian.
As soon as I enter his office, I shut the door close and lock it. Totally out of breath I throw myself on one of the soft and comfortable seats. I'm dizzy and I feel sick. Of course this situation makes my tummy go sick. Especially because we bumped into each other so hard earlier.
I take a deep breath and as soon as I caught it I listen closely for noises.
Valentin
I pull out my gun and rip the front door open. Only to see Spencer fucking Quinn and his poor army. My team aggressively keeps their focus on them. None of them moves an inch. They stay frozen with their guns pointed at each others.
And there's this stupid man standing in the middle of them. I haven't see him since I shot him but he seems to be totally fine again. Fine enough to get here but also crazy and stupid enough to pull up with this. I should've killed him. But with Anastasia I totally forgot about him. After all that happened I gave this thing a break but he is triggering and pushing it.
"I gave you enough time to give me back my wife." He says. I tuck my gun away again since I know what he wants now. It's all about show and talk. Like it always is with him. He's never brave enough to do shit and that's why he's not a man in my eyes. He can act like a ruthless business man but he isn't.
"I'm not done with you yet, so you're not getting her back." I shake my head. It's unbelievable that he thinks I'll I give in so easily. It takes more than a big threat to get me to do something. I won't do shit I don't want.
"I'll shoot you. Right here. Right now. And you couldn't do anything about it." He's so confident in talking none sense. "Then you would never find out where she is." I square my shoulders and see the muscles in his jaw move. He's indecisive and he knows I'm not playing any games. That's why he doesn't shoot me. He knows that he could kill all of us but he'd never find our where she is if he would do that. He depends on me. He needs me.
Suddenly he starts to smile.
"Did you find Anastasia?" He asks, thinking he can irritate me by mentioning her but he doesn't know how disrespectful and disgusting it is to use his own daughter like this. He should be worried about her. Instead he doesn't mind. He doesn't care about anything that happens to her. When he realised that I lost her, he didn't care either. All he did was laugh. Anything could've happened to her and he didn't even ask. Why should he care now? He doesn't. He knows I'm taking care of her now.
"Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't." I cock my head and he laughs. "I know you did. You're way more relaxed than the last time." I clench my jaw at his words as I know what he's initiating. What he's speaking of...
"What now? What changes for you?" I ask, calmly because he can't get me out of my peace right now. My life is complete.
"You have your girl and I have my woman. Let it be." He thinks he can handle it like this. He's wrong. "What if I don't?" The fact that he thinks I'd let it be is stupid but I'm used to him being dumb as fuck.
"I'll take her away from you."
I laugh at his words, totally surprised and weirded out but also amused because knowing that he thinks he's capable of doing this is insane. He is so insane. That megalomaniac. Who does he think he is? How dare he think he could take her away from me after everything that happened? He must be delusional.
"How would you do that?" I'm really interested and curious. There's no way in hell this fucker could make Anastasia leave me by her free will or take her away from me in another way. I have my hand wrapped around Anastasia tightly and I won't let go. I promised her.
He looks at me with hooded eyes. "I'll give her attention." His words make my stomach somersault. He makes me sick. Thinking that it's okay to give her fake attention just so she gets back is so pathetic and disrespectful. He thinks she'll fall for it because she's so easy. This man has no character. And no face. He thinks she's a sucker for attention and that she'll do whatever he says when he plays his cards right. Of course he doesn't know that Anastasia is not the same person she was a few months ago. She won't do shit unless she doesn't want it.
"If I apologise and beg her to come home with me she will. She's only staying with you because I let her go. You fill the void I created but as soon as I close it, she'll forget you." He's so convinced of himself and that it will be just like that. Stupid and funny.
"You think so? Wanna try it?" I smile and he knows very well that it's not a good sign when I smile mid conversation. "Hah. I don't need to try it." His body shakes with laughter. He has no idea what he is talking about.
"Lidia had a boyfriend."
His laughter dies with my words. He thought I'd be scared to talk about her. That it's a taboo to mention her in any way and that it would be my weakness. It was. But it's not anymore. I'm the ruler of my emotions and it doesn't bring me to my knees anymore. I overcame it.
"And I killed him. Nothing will stop me from doing the same to your wife if you go on my nerves any longer or don't cooperate." I take a step towards him. "And I'll do everything to keep you alive so you suffer as long as possible, seeing everything you love slip out of your hands. As you can see I'm finishing every open chapter."
He takes deep breaths through his nose, knowing that I'm not playing any games.
"Do you think Anastasia will forgive you that?" I can't blame him for thinking that I'm a slave for love. No. Love is a slave for me. For us. I take another step towards him until there isn't much left between us. "Anastasia forgives me everything." I whisper to him with my raw voice. "Because she is mine." I add and watch his eyes catch fire. It annoys him that I'm in so much control of everything without moving a finger. Everything is in the palm of my hand and he will accept it. He has to.
"And she will be mine till the day death tears us apart." I say through my teeth. He squares his shoulders and approaches an inch. "You're scared I'll take her away from you. How dare you think she'll forgive you if you kill her mom?" He's trying to make me feel guilty but this shit won't work with me.
I tightly grab him by his collar and notice his men shift uncomfortably but he gives them a sign to stay back. They better do or I'll rip his head off.
"You mean the mom that left her without blinking?" I ask and watch his facial expression change. "I don't keep her anywhere you stupid fuck." I tell him. He tries to grab my wrists and push me off but my grip tightens. "I made a good offer. A deal. I showed her that I have more money than you and told her that I wanted her gone." I spit my words right into his face and watch him frown with mixed emotions. Anger, hatred, panic, irritation and confusion. He thinks I'm lying to hurt him. "She left without hesitation, crossed the border without looking behind or bothering to let you know." Nothing will hurt him as much as this and I told him I'd take away his wife. The rest will follow. I told him, didn't I?
"You thought she loved you, didn't you?" People like Anastasia's parents make me sick. "I guess she loved you as much as you loved her."
Which means not at all.
"You did what?" He's fuming. Seeing him like this satisfies me. I cock my head. "Do you think Anastasia will ever forgive her that?" I whisper again, remembering that she could be here somewhere, eavesdropping, although I trust her because she always listens to me and cares about her safety. "As if I care!" He shouts into my face. "I want her back!" He adds. "But she doesn't want you! It was the money that made her stay. And soon you won't have any of that left." It makes so much more sense now. Why else would she stay, knowing he was cheating and doing other things that hurt and disrespected her? She's a gold digger. And a heartless mother.
She left Anastasia behind, which is really sick.
"You won't win this!" He shakes me off and gives me an ugly death stare. "I always win." I tell him. "Give up and get over the past!" He's too dramatic, acting like we're villains in a movie. "Get over the heartbreak and then give me what I want." He looks like he will attack me as the words leave my mouth. "Or I'll take it from you."
Anastasia
I'm leaned against the window as he enters his office. I don't turn around to him until he closes the door and approaches me. He looks stressed but he relaxes his shoulders and his gaze softens when he takes a deep breath and looks at me.
"I'm sorry that this happened. Especially while Max was here." I know he genuinely feels bad about it but he can't do anything about my dad being ridiculous and having awful timing. "It's okay. I'll find an excuse and tell her something..." Max probably won't believe much of what I'll say after the things I told her but I'll find a way to make this right again. She will believe me. I'll be convincing enough.
I cross my arms over my chest and approach him too. He sits down in one of the seats in front of his desk and I sit down across from him. My body sinks in the soft seat but I feel like it's a dark hole that sucks me in.
The wrinkles on his forehead show me that he is still downstairs with his head. The thoughtful look in his face makes me hate this situation even more. His thoughts aren't here but I will bring him here.
"You made a deal?" I ask and watch his wide eyes meet mine. My breath almost hitches as I'm about to burst out in tears. "You eavesdropped?" He asks. I wouldn't have done that if I wouldn't have overheard some things. My curiosity was unstoppable so I stepped in front of the door for a while until I heard what I needed to hear. Valentin was obviously trying to be as quiet as possible but this house sends your voice and words through the walls before you even open your mouth. So I admit it. "I had to."
He sighs and shakes his head, obviously at a loss of words. He's not mad at me or upset. Just sad because I heard things that would tear my heart apart and he doesn't want me to be hurt. I wish he would tell me that I didn't hear right. That I misunderstood something but he's too silent and that gives me my answer. My poor heart hurts.
"How much did you offer her?" I ask, not able to suppress the shaking of my lower lip because it's shattering my heart. He pressures his lips until they form a thin line. "We don't need to talk about money." He says softly, not wanting to hurt me but I need to know it. I need to be hurt and burned so deeply and unrecoverable that I can finally move on and cut off the hope. I need to start hating them so I don't get hurt every time I think of them. So I don't miss them anymore.
"How much?" I ask again and he hesitates before he answers. "A few millions." He shrugs it off, as if it's totally unimportant. As if a few millions aren't much. I know he wants to protect me but that's exactly what I don't want. So I force it. "How much exactly?" My voice is shaking. I'm scared of the answer. He takes a deep breath, getting ready to break my heart. "Three hundred forty million." His answer makes my jaw meet the floor and tears run down my face. "She left me for three hundred forty million dollars?" I can't hide the pain in my raw voice. I'm sure she even negotiated. He shakes his head. "She didn't leave you. She left your father." He tries to assure me but I shake my head and wipe away my tears with the back of my hands. They're not worth crying. "That's even worse. She's only after the money. A few millions and she'll do whatever she's told." I feel embarrassed. It's humiliating to have a mother that's a whore for money and doesn't even think about her daughter which is in the hands of the enemy of her husband. She only wants to live a good life. That's all she cares about. Means she didn't even really love my father. She only stayed because she got to spend his money the way she wanted, lived in a mansion, travelled a lot. Now she'll start a different life with Valentin's money. She'll buy another mansion, a bigger car, travel further away and buy more designer stuff. She'll always depend on someone. On a man and his money. I don't want to be like her. I don't ever want to be this disrespectful and pathetic. She lives her life, relying on others. How come that we share blood? That I am her child? How come I lived nine months in her belly? Where is the connection to these people? I don't feel any of it and I'm done with them. This gave me the rest and I don't want to continue their legacy. Their poor character will not be contagious for me or passed down. I won't give them a chance.
"I'm sorry." He says. I shake my head. He has nothing to be sorry for. "It's not your fault that they're like that." I could be mad at him for doing all of this in first place but if he wouldn't have done it, I'd still be sitting in our lonely mansion and die on a lonely death, believing they care enough about me. He got me out and threw me into the cold water, showing me reality. I should be thankful, despise all the bad things that happened between us. He keeps these people -called my parents- away from me for my own best and I still can't get over how my father is only asking for my mother, although he already walked in here and could've asked for me too. All he did was talk about me like I am cheap and stupid. He really thinks I will forgive him and come back when he acts like he wants me back. As if I'm a dog that will run when he claps. It's making my blood boil and I wish I could spit it in his face but I don't even want to see it.
Did I ever exist to them?
Was my childhood a lie?
"I don't want our life to look like theirs." I whisper, thinking out loud. "It won't, my love. I promise you." I know he means it and he will do everything so it doesn't turn out like that. We will live a better life. "I know." I trust him with my heart. He will make sure we will have a good future.
I get up and approach him. He looks up, curious about what I'm doing. I plant a kiss on his lips. He kisses me back. I back off and smile.
"I need to talk to June." There's something I need to talk about with her and it can't wait until tomorrow. "What is it? Do I need to worry?" He gets up too and puts a hand on my lower back. I understand that he worries because I don't tell him what it is and want to disappear so suddenly but it's fine. "No. Just some woman thing." I put my hand on his chest to comfort him. "I'm your everything now. You don't need anybody else anymore. You can tell me." He's serious and it's lovely that he wants me to handle these things with him but I give him a soft smile. "You are. But I need to handle this little thing with her." Another kiss lands on his cheek and that comforts him enough to let me go.