Aleyna
This chapter is rough I will edit it tomorrow once I get some sleep!!
Song: Summer Walker- Ex for a reason
"Absolutely fucking ridiculous" more specifically with all do respect I could care less, also I would think of it as a blessing for him. "Is what it is." I think of telling the poor hysterical boy crying on the other end of the line.
To be honest, I hate telling people the truth about themselves, considering the heart breaks in their face and voice. Yet I find myself able to hold it in as I sit here listening to him sob over a less than mediocre girl for the past fifteen minutes.
I find this is the issue with women and men. They give themselves all to people they hardly know. Whether it's emotianny, sexulay, spiritually or
mentally.
And the worst part is that they expect the same in return, when most times they don't receive that treatment. Sadly especially females.
We naturally have the need for comfort in us, and oftentimes we don't seek that need in our parents, family, or friends. We naturally or oftentimes want to find that need in a male. Yet we don't realizes that their wild beats that will take what they need then dispose of us once they have what they wanted.
Then mess up our reputation for life over a simple small mistake. You can't just focus on the good in someone especially if you like them doesn't matter the gender. This was the first thing I picked up freshman year when I made that same mistake.
Life is naturally harder for females.
We dress to nice 'were trying to hard'
We don't try 'some how we don't tend to ourselfs'
We dress to 'tight' or show to much skin ' we're considerd a hoe'
We dress more relaxed or wear baggier clothes 'were some how not wife material
Life is even harder especially in the dating world.
We date twice were considered a hoe.
We don't date we get made fun of.
We don't take part in intercourse we get laughed at because we're a virgin.
We do take part in intercourse 'were consider used goods.
We have males friends were considered that one easy chick.
You can even mess up if you date or mess with the wrong person, because then your just consider their bitch that they fucked with. Please excuse all my cursing.
Yet here I am on the phone with a boy that seems to get their heart broken at least every month, at this point I swear he's on somethime of monthly subscription. And the worst part is he swears he's playing them well in reality it's the complete opposite.
I examine my messy head of curls and briefly wonder how i'm going to find a hairstyle that won't completely ruin and damage my hair over here.
"Aleyna?" A choked sob fills the line, louder than the others. "Are you even listening to me?"
"Of course" with a slight huff, I set the phone on speaker and reached into my bag to pull out my laptop. In desperate search for a hairsltles that can actually do my 4a type hair without damaging it.
One thing that 4 years of highschool and 2 years at college teach me is to be very very, extremely careful with who you mess around with.
"If the word gets out... it'll look so bad on me." Anthony's firm voice trembles throught the line and despite being a little fed up with his monthly female drama I still keep my mouth shut, at least for now." I-I just want her to feel as terrible as I did when I saw them together in-"
I sight, complety annoyed. That I feel so bad for feeling annoyed in the first place.
Not only with everything going on in my life just beign a complete mess, I was sitting here listening to his complete mess. And I don't have the guts to just leave him hanging, even thought at this point i'm surprized he's not used to it cause I know I am by now.
Not only was this trip back to LA so sudden, and frankly quite messy, but I was spending it cooped up in my hotel room that I won't be able to afford soon. Very soon. Like tomorrow soon, listening to a messy breakdown.
"There's only one thing girls like Emma care about" I look up from my screen to the beautiful sun light outside my window decideing that i'm gonna go out and enjoy my last day of luxury before i'l be on the streets. Living like a rat.
Or worst living with pest.
"I- I don't know." Anthony answers on the line while all I can think about is the new living conditions i'm gonna be in.
Getting of the bed I bring the phone with me, opening the frigde to only find it's contents empty, "ohh come on!" I sight out in complete fustration and fear. Fear of the unknown.
"Anthony i'm sorry, if she only wanted the money, or left because of it, than she was most definally not worthy of having you." He does this same exact thing with every single one of his girls he currenlty messing with or dating.
Step one, he flexes all his jelewry or anything he owns that worth a good clump of money, claiming he's rich when sadly he's very much not.
Step two, he then brings them to my penthouse claiming it's his that he shares with a roommate here and there. The 'roomate' being me.
Then now these poor girls think their going to live a rich fancy life until they find out it's all a lie than a horrible mean side comes out of them directed to Anthony.
And now he's here crying his heart out to me about some pretty redhead. I love him with all my heart, and will forever support him no matter what, but this repetition is getting a bit annoying. At least for me.
"She wasn't just some girl like the rest" he whined out. " Her pussy was so good, and she fucks like a porn star" and that's when I stop in complete shock at his crude choice of wording.
I never enjoyed when people spoke in such a manner it always made me extremely uncomfortable. And now that has me thinking-
"R-right and you guys didn't engage" I force the words out "i-in intercourse in my bed right?"
"Oh my gosh," he exhales "Ali it's called sex, and to answer your question, no I didn't fuck her on your bed.
Hmm I feel much better, "anyways love you and remember you will be just fine." Wait Ali i'm- I take the phone away from my ears and hang up.
Right now my goal is to enjoy the rest of my day before the rest of my life turns to spoil.
•••
Walking down the busy streets I'm greeted with many I mean many delicious food and dessert shops and stores.
I have a massive sweet tooth, sometimes I think I might be addicted to sugar. I usually just blame it on my overthinking.
I overthink way I mean way way to much, I watch this news channel when I was a young child, so what happend was that in India a man was using the washroom. Sitting on the toilet and that's when a huge snake came out of it while he was using the toilet.
After I watched that I never use the ladies room the same, even till this day. All I can think about is if one day something will pop out the toiled while I'm using it.
And thetheres one of the reasons why I overthink.
I don't one- hundred percent know how I feel about overthinking. Overthinking definitely makes life way harder than it already is and needs to be.
Yet I also view it as overthinkers live longer, because we're constantly thinking about our safety and how things can go wrong , as well as we often plan ahead more times than humans who tend to not overthinking.
We're constantly thinking and going throught a self made plan, going through every step to make sure it's all done right and we don't die.
With all do respect I cannot die yet, I still haven't engaged in sexual intercourse. People who know I'm still a virgin as they would call it would often make fun of me.
Saying the reason why no one wanted to take my virginity was because I was simply just to much of a nerd that couldn't pull no body.
Yet, most of those boys saying that were all the ones that at one point in my life tried to take it away.
Yet Anthony understood or at least tried, he would always tell me he doesn't under how I possibly still didn't get 'dicked down' yet the words sounding foreign in my brain.
Because his hormones or always raging, yet even though he's pretty much a hoe. No matter what he still and always will support me.
My mother always thought me that's there a blessing in store for the ones who wait until they find the right one. The one that you know deep down in your heart that that's your other half.
That God will bless you for it. I never knew if what she said was true, and still don't know till this day.
I'm not a virging because I have to be I'm a virging my choiceI'm not a virging because I have to be I'm a virging my choice
Yet the universe has so many secrets, and mysteries, things that are far to complexe for our humans minds to understand.
There's theory's. Lots of them yet who knows if there even true. The people who made them are humans just as clueless as the rest of. us.
There people on earth that are just born into richness prosperity and blessing. While there's others that are conceived into poverty, uncleanliness and curses.
We're the ones born into what people would call a better life rewarded for their parents, grandparents or even great- great grandparents blessing.
I don't know yet. But what I do know is that there is a God, a higher power that created all of this and allows certain things to happen for a reason, that I'm not sure off. The human brain far to small to understand.
We're all puppets in a theater playing our roles as faith decides.
For life is the art of drawing without the eraser.
That's when a loud blast of the horn sounded right beside me for me to awaken out of my thoughts. Getting my mind back into reality, and hussling my self to the ice cream shop.
I wanted a warmer dessert but it's so hot today that I just had to choose ice cream. Yet as I'm walking to the heavenly shop I stop knowing very well I should be eating ice cream.
I already have a bit of belly fat and I don't want it to get worst especially considering the fact that I don't have fast metabolism.
Yet I cut those thoughts out ignoring them for I told myself since the moment I woke up on the phone listening to Anthony whine that today would be my day of delight. Sadly my last.
Once I enter the shop I'm met with a large variety of flavours and sweets my mouth drools internally as I look around the small shop the sent ingolfing me with pleasure and desire.
The cashier install greets me with a soft smile until his gaze lowers down my body with a small smirk.
I ignore that last part as I happily skip to thowards him choosing my flavors, once I finish paying I sit down and enjoy it or at least try.
All I can feel is his weird stare behind my back which makes me quite uncomfortable so indecide to leave the shop. Walking down the somewhat calm streets.
The cool night air hits my tan skin as I keep walking injoying my delightful ice cream, until I surpriselunly get a text from Jasmine asking we where was I.
My lips purse in confusion and thought until realization takes over my features. I completely forgot I was working tonight or supposed to.
My shift is done in 30 mins so I wouldn't make sense to go. Yet I acually really need this job so il'l just go later tonight when the other group of girls work from 1:30 to 5:00 am.
I pray that he won't realize. I text Jasmine my smart plan that took me less than 30 seconds to come up with, yet surprisingly she advises me not to do it.
Rather just make up a smart excuse to why I was not able to make it.
But that would be lying and I don't lie so I am sticking to my plan, changing my route as I finish my delicious ice cream.
I sight in what used to be content because I really didn't want to work today.
Yet here I am on my way there 4 hours late. In the middle of the night.
Guys I really need a name for him.
Ok so Mateo or Leonardo?
If It's gonna be Leonardo what should we call him for short
Leo or Nardo?
I know guys I know this is a bad look that I don't even have his name ready and were in chapter 8 😭
And damn why Aleyna have to go make that decision I'm sensing sum bad gon happen.