Tammy: Lou, you can no longer visit my suburbs
Lou: Why?
Tammy: You insulted Mrs Buckley of next door last time you visited. She is angry and doesn't want to see you in the neighbourhood.
Lou: Correction. I didn't insult her. I simply described her... Accurately
***
Debbie: Why are you fuming?
Daphne: My assistant resigned few minutes ago
Debbie: Oh why?
Daphne: She is leaving to get married. How selfish of her!
***
Tammy: I'll take that as a compliment
Debbie: Oh, I must've said it wrong
***
Constance: I don't think inside the box. I don't think outside the box. Fuck, I don't even know what fucking box people talk about and where the fucking hell it even is.
***
Tammy: In your life, have you even been dismissive of an idea only to later open your mind to that said idea?
Debbie: Every single day
Tammy: Everyday? About what?
Debbie: Everyday, I refuse to believe in the existence of ghosts. But at night, I sort of become open-minded about that.
***
*Daphne thinking deeply*
Tammy: Penny for your thoughts?
Daphne: Oh, yeah... I was thinking...
Debbie: A dollar if you keep them to yourself
***
*Debbie is visiting her aunt for a week*
Lou: *on phone* I feel lonely without you
Debbie: Well honey, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won't feel like you're alone anymore
***
Tammy: Money is not the key to happiness
Debbie: But if you have enough money, you can have a key made
***
Girl: What do you do for living?
Lou: Breath in oxygen and breath out carbon dioxide
***
Tammy: Whatever you do, give your 100%
Lou: Unless you are donating blood
***
Tammy: You haven't moved from that couch since morning. You are lazy, Constance. You do nothing
Constance: It might look like I am doing nothing, but in my mind I am quite busy
***
Daphne: What do you hate the most about parties?
Lou: To be nice to someone when all I really want to do is throw a brick at them
***
Girl: My spirit animal is a lion. What's yours?
Lou: A slightly deranged unicorn who has the mission to poke holes in all of the annoying people obsessed with spirit animals
***
Tammy: You are so arrogant and short-tempered, it's a surprise you haven't already killed someone in anger. How can you control your anger and not do something stupid?
Lou: I remind myself that I am an adult and I'll be charged as one
***
Lou: *drinking a bottle of vodka, neat*
Debbie: *stares at her*
Lou: What? It's been a rough week
Debbie: It's Tuesday morning, asshole
***
*2001, Debbie using mobile phone with text features for the first time and Lou texts her*
Lou: Finally, you've entered the digital age. How's your new phone?
Lou: Debbie?
Lou: Hello, are you there?
Lou: Why aren't you texting me back?
Debbie: Howdoyouaddspace?
***
*Debbie is explaining new heist and wants everyone to focus and not be busy with their phones. Constance is using phone under the table*
Debbie: Constance, I said not to use your phone until we are done with the meeting
Constance: I- I am not using my phone. I swear
Debbie: You are using the phone, don't lie. Nobody just stares down at their crotch and smile
***
Lou: *singing* 🎶 I'm not gonna write you a love song cause you asked for it🎶
Debbie: You just made that up
Lou: No, it's a real song. By Sara Bareilles
Debbie: You just made her up too
Lou: No, she is a real person and a notable singer
Debbie: prove it
***
Constance: Why is Debbie talking to herself?
Lou: She is seeking expert advice
***
*Young Loubbie and Tammy*
Tammy: Why didn't you come to my party last night?
Debbie: My mom's stepsister's dog's owner's sister's mom's best friend's child's fish died
Tammy: What the fuck! You can't even come up with a proper excuse
Debbie: It is a real proper excuse
Tammy: Whatever, bitch. You are ly-
Lou: Hey guys! Debbie, why didn't you attend the party last night? Tammy was amazing as a host
Debbie: My mom's stepsister's dog's owner's sister's mom's best friend's child's fish died
Lou: What the hell! Not Lawrence! He cannot die just like that!
***
Debbie: So, what are you going to do about it?
Lou: Probably something stupid
***
Debbie: Sorry baby, I'm too busy today
Lou: Then add me to your to-do list
***
Debbie: What are you thinking?
Lou: I was thinking... And it's bugging me for a while now... Do your lips taste as good as they look?
***
Constance: Hey Lou
Debbie: I'm not Lou. I am Debbie
Constance: I know that. But 'you are what you eat'
***
*Young Loubbie*
Lou: So Debbie, are you a full bred American?
Debbie: Yes, my dad is a bald eagle and mom is Big Mac
***
Lou: If I stayed in Australia, I would've pursued my dream of being a teacher
Constance: What would you teach?
Lou: Engli-
Debbie: Pick up lines 101
***
Nine: I am bored
Constance: let's go to IKEA
Nine: How's that gonna help with boredom?
Constance: We'll hide in their closets and when we hear customers walking by, we'll walk outside saying 'Narnia was fun'
***
Constance: I wasn't high
Nine: You threw a tennis ball at a garden lizard and said 'CHARIZARD! I CHOOSE YOU!"
***
Lou: I think I'm attracted to this girl
Girl: Oh wow! Who?
Lou: She kind of looks like you
Girl: Awww is it me?
Lou: Nope. Your sister
***
Tammy: Christ! Ocean, can't you take a joke?
Debbie: No, I have this weird unusual quirk where when someone is openly mean to me I get upset
***
Timeline: Before Loubbie confession
*Debbie sees Lou flirting with young girl*
Tammy: You are green. Are you jealous?
Debbie: I am not jealous. I just hope every girl who talks to Lou that way dies
***
Lou: I wasn't that drunk
Tammy: You came to my suburbs, walked inside my house through a window even though I opened the door and then you pet my cat saying 'Look how tiny this lion is'
Lou: *trying to justify* It's not that bad though. A simple confusion. Your cat is orangish like a lion...
Tammy: He is grey
***
Lou: I wasn't that drunk
Debbie: You took that ridiculous stuffed squirrel of yours and threw it in the pool screaming 'SANDY, BIKINI BOTTOM NEEDS YOU'
***
Debbie: I have a new boyfriend.
Lou: Oh good. I have a new gun
Debbie: Uhm... Not seeing the connection
Lou: Hopefully, neither will the cops
***
Tammy: You call yourself a player. I dare you to use your charm and undress Daphne without even touching her. I'll give you 100 dollars if you win this
Lou: That's easy
*Lou goes to Daphne and says something to her. Daphne immediately undresses in hurry*
Lou: *walking back to Tammy* There you go. Give me my 100
Tammy: *gives money defeated and walks away*
Debbie: Okay, what did you say to Daphne that she undressed within a minute?
Lou: I told there's a spider on her back.
***