What? The walls close on me as I stare at mother in shock.
"Haven is corrupt," She whispers, "I don't work for them. I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you...but now that people are coming after you, I have to tell you now."
"Tell me what?"
I feel like I'm going to throw up. I hold my head in my hands.
"Something happened before you were born. Something Haven tried to cover up. In 2266, they created an experiment called Project Beta in an underground facility. It tested the brain's response to the micro identification chip..."
I already know where this is going. Everyone has wondered what the chip could do. All our identity, our finances, our work-every part of our life is centered on the chip. Even our health can be monitored. But who exactly is benefitting the most from the chip, no one knows. It could be the government; they have more control over us with everything centralized on them. It could be us; we have more social and economic benefits than anyone in history.
I've had my doubts but I never really wanted to confront them. But a secret experiment on the chip? Something awful happened, and I need to know what it is. I lift my head to meet her dark gaze.
"What did they do to the chip?"
"It's worse than you think," She admits, "They've managed to control the nervous system, the relay of information from surroundings to the brain."
I slowly sit back in my seat, feeling a lump in my throat.
"Memory, senses, and motor movement-all of it the chip can influence with just the right electrical impulses. Think of it as a filter for all the information that comes through your brain. It's the director of the control system, the director of the brain."
It's too sick.
Mother pushes my telescreen toward me and goosebumps form on my arms as I look at the portal to the database.
"It's all here," She taps intently on it, "Every blueprint of the experiment. I have videos of their trials on test subjects, though I don't recommend you watch them. They're disturbing. They killed hundreds this whole time."
"Hundreds?" I slowly reach for it, "How did you get all this?
"I was in Phantom," She pauses, wearing a painful grimace, "A group of underground hackers. We leaked Project Beta five years ago. They quickly got rid of the evidence and almost killed all of us. I'm alive only because a connection I have in HCI is protecting my identity, keeping me hidden."
For some reason, it all makes sense to me. I know it's crazy but it makes sense. The intense coding sessions, the panic if I left the house without telling her, the frequent talk about being aware of my surroundings, the odd work schedule. To think she was living another life this whole time...To think Haven was secretly testing on people's chips-killing people in the process...And for what? More control? They already had us dependent on them for daily living.
"Why? I whisper, "Why did they...why are they doing this? What could they possibly gain?"
"It's more than control," Mother's gaze dims further, "They want to build a new society. It started off as a military training program to help with PTSD but it took flight into a different monster when they realized they could control a person's memory and influence thinking patterns. We could be a mindless army or the perfect citizen. I've seen both."
I stare at her dumbly, too shocked and sick to the stomach to put any words together. How did I not know this? If mom and the rest of Phantom leaked the experiment before, why aren't people fighting them right now? She answers my question without me asking.
"HCI deleted all traces of Project Beta we leaked. Now people only think of it as a conspiracy theory," She laughs darkly, "A result of their memory being wiped, I suppose, or just straight-up denial. But it happened and is still happening. Yet there is another enemy at hand, someone worse than Haven."
"Worse than Haven?" I echo, "How could anyone be worse than Haven?"
I watch her, perplexed as she presses a hand into the wall by the table. The panel glows and the tile slides open revealing a glass vault. My jaw drops seeing the rows of handguns in the vault.
"What is that?" I demand.
"A helpful resource for emergencies and potential threats," She deadpans.
"How long has that been there?"
"Before you were born."
"And you're telling me this now?"
Another panel opens by the gun vault, two stuffed backpacks on hangers. She takes one and throws it at me. I wouldn't have caught it if she didn't make me lift weights since I was twelve.
"Raven, there's been a reason for everything I have taught you up till now, along with what I haven't taught you."
Suddenly the parenting methods are making sense to me. All this time, she pushed me hard in everything, gently always but firmly. I was frustrated because I didn't understand her intensity. Now I know why I was stronger than all my classmates and sharper to the point of feeling years ahead of my peers. Of course, I didn't outmatch everyone, but I definitely was a monster of her making. And I suppose it's because of the threats she knew were around us. The threats that I was oblivious to. She was preparing me but why didn't she tell me that?
"Why didn't you tell me this sooner, mom?"
Hearing the desperation in my voice, she stops stuffing guns in her bag to look at me fully. Her face softens and she wears a smile full of love and regret.
"I wanted you to have a somewhat normal childhood but I wanted to prepare you for anything...I wanted to give you the choice of joining me in my efforts but I also wanted to give you the freedom to make your own path. That's why I withheld the information...I was waiting for you to break past my firewall to tell you everything."
She sighs shakily, "But I was wrong. You could never be normal. And it's because of me. You're not to blame for doing what I trained you to do even if it was beyond the scope I intended. But given the circumstances that you drew the attention of the wrong people, the people who are a worse threat than Phantom, my timeline has been altered. So I'm telling you this now."
"What do you mean?" I ask her, "Whose attention did I draw?"
She resumes her quick packing.
"Someone bent on revenge took up our name, calling themselves Phantom. They've been attacking government officials and anyone related to them. They're terrorists."
"Terrorists? Do you know who they are?"
"We believe the offspring of the original Phantom is responsible for the attacks."
"I thought they were killed!" I exclaim.
"No," She shakes her head, "They spared the children...surprisingly."
She picks up my telescreen and slides it into my backpack.
"You need to take this and leave Karmika city. Look at the information I've gathered as you wait for further instructions."
"What?" I cry, "No, I'm not leaving you!"
"Raven!" She cries.
I'm shocked at the tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Phantom has been tracking officials by their scanners! That means they're tracking you. You need to leave."
No, no, no. I'm such an idiot. This is all my fault.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, "I was so stupid, it's all my fault."
"No, it's not," She smiles tenderly, looking more like herself, "I've been trying to stop Phantom, and I've been grooming you to do the same. It was natural of you to do what you did. It was only a matter of time until one of us got exposed."
My throat burns as she embraces me. I don't deserve this.
"I'm sorry," She mutters in my ear.
"What's going to happen?"
A slam resounds overhead, making us both jump.
"What was that?" I whisper.
Mother lets go of me and runs to the gun vault. She grabs a silver handgun.
"Are they here-"
"Get down!" She barks, lifting her gun.
I dive with my backpack behind the kitchen counter.
Is it Phantom?
I carefully peek above the counter. I squeeze my backpack as I watch mother point her gun at the balcony entrance. I can't see the door at this angle.
Who's there?
My heart races in my chest as I wait for a gunshot.
She's still for a few moments before lowering her weapon, looking relieved.
"L..." She sighs.
L?
I slowly raise myself to the counter and am startled to find someone hanging upside down outside our door.
"Who is that?" I shout.
She answers vaguely, "A friend..."
"A friend?"
The stranger wears black mili-tech armor and a cybertech mask. Something tells me L is not our next-door neighbor.
As I stare at his mask, I feel a little mesmerized. It's black and almost mirror-like the way it reflects the lights in our kitchen and the neon holograms outside. Mother places her hand on the door's lock pad and the glass door slides open.
"They're coming," L breathes, sounding out of breath, "They've got four squads. I took out two but didn't have time for the rest. They're going to be here in five minutes. They'll take her."
I stiffen as they both look in my direction.
"That's not going to happen," Mother glowers.
She embraces me tightly.
"I love you, Raven."
I squeeze her, burying my head into her shoulder. I don't know what to say to her, to any of it. To think I've caught the attention of terrorists because of my stupid drive to hack faster. And for what?
"I love you, too, mom."
"Take her."
Without warning, she shoves me toward the door and I land against L.
"No!" I shout, stepping away from him, "I'm not leaving you!"
Mother throws her arm, yelling with tears in her eyes.
"Take her!"
In a blur, I'm lifted off the ground and hauled out of the room. I bounce up and down against L's shoulder, gaping with each large stride. Lights pierce my eyes from the air traffic.
No, no.
Adrenaline pounds through my veins as I watch the cars pass me by. I think I knew all this time that Haven would take advantage of the chip. Yet I blindly lived as if it wouldn't happen.
Why did I choose to be naive? I pretended to follow in my mother's footsteps but inwardly I held onto denial. I wanted truth but not more than I wanted safety. Now my mother is going to pay for my foolish attempts to uncover a truth I didn't even want to see.
It's shameful. She could die because of my selfishness.
A terrible sob and piercing scream twists my stomach. My mouth stretches so hard the corners could rip and bleed. I feel as though I am a foreign spirit in a body that doesn't belong to me. Or perhaps I have lost my own spirit and nothing but animal instinct moves me.
I need to get to her.
I punch L in the back. I tighten my fists harder with each strike. L doesn't pause a beat as he runs, he only squeezes me tighter. My stomach digs painfully into his shoulder.
"No!"
I throw my weight to the side and send us both rolling. His grip on me loosens and I quickly scramble out from underneath him and sprint as hard as I can for my apartment. All I can hear are my footsteps and beating heart.
I'll make it. I'll get to her.
Something hard slams into me and I hit the ground hard rolling. Pain shoots through my body as I slam into the balcony rail. The shock from the hit depletes my energy and turns my sobbing to soft, painful breathing.
L bends over and scoops me up off the ground. To my own humiliation and shame, I embrace him like a wounded child hugging their parent. His head turns toward me. I wait for the embarrassing and likely sharp rebuke for running away from him.
"Raven," He says softly, "Trust your mother."
My voice catches in my throat.
This was what she told me to do, wasn't it? She wanted me to leave. Maybe I would make things worse by barging in there. I could put her in a worse situation.
I feel so useless. I'm disgusted with myself.
"Okay," I whisper.
I wait for him to resume his run down the platform but instead he leaps onto the rail separating us from the air traffic and jumps off it. I watch in slow motion a motorcycle pass underneath us before I'm face to face with the neon lights of the city a thousand feet below. I hear the distant hum of the bustling streets and watch a few hovercrafts fly below us.
An engine roars loudly behind me and I scream, believing we're going to be hit by a car.
I'm swung around suddenly and I see a black surface before my back lands on something soft. Red lights shine in my eyes as I hyperventilate.
How are we not falling?
It takes me a few moments to realize I'm not dead when I hear a door click shut. I turn my head and find a window above my head and buildings passing by.
I stare at the rest of the car's interior. The lights turn the black leather seats red. There's no one in the driver's seat, so it must be on autopilot.
Feeling something move underneath me, I quickly pick myself up. I didn't realize he broke my fall. Unfazed, L climbs into the driver's seat and sets the car to manual mode. I carefully climb into the driver's seat. I wipe the tears from my face watching the apartment shrink in the car's side mirror.
I hear L's voice but am unable to focus on what he's saying. A neon green car flies around the corner of our apartment complex and flies straight for us. A panel opens on the car's top and an electric machine gun raises from it and aims in our direction. Panic seizes me as laser beams fly toward us.
L turns the car sharply and the force of it throws me into the door. We drop at ninety-degree angle, making my stomach rise to my throat. The neon lights reflecting off the skyscrapers and holograms blend into a rattling rainbow road before me.
L's shouting, snaps me out of my trance.
"Hold on to something!"