Rolf was back by myside in the camp along with Ralph Before his arrival I had called a meeting and warned everybody that if I heared one remark about his appearance I wpuld let his big brother take care of them personally and what ever was left of them would become Rolfs new toys.Nobpdy was excluded from that warning, NOBODY. I said it all with a polite smile of cpursr as it wasy Rolfs first day back. Naturally my contempy for raging violence had spread through the Centire Camp within the hour. I wasn't impressed though. I tohught news that detrimental to all breathing s persons whether it was Soldiers, Jews, workers, cleaners and Sergents that it would have done done so within the first ten minutes of it being said, twenty at the most. Maybe I was losing my touch, but not for long.Rolf had alot to prove today as did I and poor Ralph needed this too. It had been to long since the three of us had been a team. Naturally my boy came up triumphant and it wasn't long before EVERYBODY knew they where here.
I had kept Ralph and Rolf in the k9 holding unit until I did my morning rounds. As I attempted to leash Rolf he barked at me. I smiled he never did like the leash nor did Ralph. So I acted in my holistically knowledge of the pair who jumped about at me as I unbolted the metal cage door. They where both gone in seconds barking amd running out into the Camp towards the crowds of Jews who began screaming and crying and scattered like rats as the dived into the mass to play. I strolled agter them passing feigned and pale looking soldiers and other workers smiling and doffing my cap to them. One younger soldier in particular looked on horrified as Rolf managed to take down the first weakest link of the morning amd ripped into their throat.
"If you are afraid of a little limb tearing boy you are int the worng job." I chuckled as I clapped him on the back and continued to laugh as I caught up to them.
I was so cheerful with the progressive day myself and the boys had that there was no need for me to stay late in the office tonight. It was gone six in the evening amd I was starving and so where the boys, though technically they had already snacked on various body parts through the day. I began humming a merry tune feeling so ligh hearted and contened that even the unexpected sight of Schindlers car in my drive way didn't faulted me and I jjst shrugged it off. I had a sneaky feeling that the phone call yesterday would have him call round. Infact I was surprised he wasn't here sooner considering his precious Helen was potentially in the line of fire.
"Helen! Schindler! We are home!" I yelled with merriment and a laugh as they ran through the house ahead of me and straight into the kitchen .
"Oh My Helen...is this..is this..Rolf?" As shrill voice of dispear echoed from the kitchen amd into the hall way.
My curiosity got the better of me but just before I came to the kitchen door Helen opend it swiftly and stood to attention.
"Good evening Herr Goeth I was not expecting you home so soon. Your beef and dumplings are not quite ready yet." She stated blankly but never leaving the blockage she caused so I cpuld see who else was in the kitchen with her.
Seeing as Schindlers care was putside and hearing a feminne voice I assumed Schindler may have brogutb one of his pretty whores round from one of his many factories whislt he showered. I had known him to do this before. Then we usually shared said factory girl. I went instantly hard as those old memories came flooding back. It was obly made worse by Helens body only mere inches from mine.
I looked her up and down with a flirtatious curiosity and feeling playful I divulged myself in a bit of fantasy play. I placed arms up on either side of the door way and thrust my pelvis against her anddropped my lips closely to her ear and whispered seductively to her.
"Hmmmm Helen what ever are you trying to hide from your devoted husband. Is there somebody here you don't want me to see. Is the mouse at play whilst the cat has been away?". I say kissing her neck and grabbing her hips and pushing her throug the door laughing as she toppled backwards through the door frame.
I was too giddy in my playful seduction of pursuing Helen that I failed to notice a friendly and familiar face at my table. The very table I hitched up Helen upon and placed on her back to trying and rip her smock off as she shriekd in fear and anxiety.
"Herr Goeth Herr Goeth!" Helen shriekd as she tried to sit herself up off the table.
"Oh no you dont you lottle vixen." J say tartiky as I bared my teeth at her.
"Amon." A soft voice spoke right next to my face.
I shot.up from Helns lithe body tha was half on and half off the table, struggling to fix her hideous black smock. I stood back feeling my face flush crimson and my epic hard on shrunk back to its normal size as I looked to see the owners voice.
"Oh Sweet Jesus! ....Emilie... I I I ..Hello....." I said in a slight panicked daze as stood thwre like a pillar of salt.
"Hello Amon." She repeated calmly.
I didn't know what to do now I had been caught red handed by my best friends wife so instrad I tuened into uniform mode then for some odd reason I saluted her and bowed.
"This isn't what it looks like Froline Emilie." I stated deep and monotone.
She sat there smiling, jjst smiling and nodded.
There was an awkward silence as we just stared at eachother. Her smiling like a calm and contend mother and me grinning sheepishly. All the while poor Helen had managed to hop off the table, fix her creased apron and was at the sink filling up the kettle as if nothing had happend.
Emilies eyes wandered to Helen and she watched her with an almost tender affection. It made me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable and exposed. She knew.
"Helen go to your room." I barked.
Helen stopped what she was doing and without a seconds hesitation she was gone.
Emilie just looked at me and was still smiling. I on the other hand played my poker face.
"So Amon, it s been a long time. Its nice to see you. You look well. Very very well infact. It looks like you have colour in your cheeks too." Emile said as her dark blue eys twinkled at me.
"Yes Froline it is good to see you too. Shall we take some refreshments in the parlour?" I offered in an overtly platonic manner.
Emilie laughed in delight at my abtuse genteel gesture.
"Oh Amon I have know you for twenty years. Drop that Froline act with me! But yes tea would be nice." She said standing up to hug my tensed body, rubbing my shoudlers affectionatly and then leaned up to kiss my cheek.
"Please take a seat in the parlour. I will have my Jewess bring us tea." I said about to head to the cellar but Emilie pulled my arm to halt me.
"You have hands and arms Amon. A man of your intelligence should be more than capable of putting them to use in making a pit of tea. And besides I think you have given her enough to do." She said lowering her tone as she gave me a queer and unreadable look.
God her and Schindler really are a match made in heaven.
We sat for almost an hour talking in polite conversations about generic matters as we sipped our tea. It became quite clear though this wasn't just a friendly off hand visit. Whislt Emilie divuldged me in her antics with her sisters beautiful new baby all I cpuld think about was why was she here?
Emilie was a real debutant lady from a good family with plenty of.money, and a long lined geneology of aristocracy. She was the idela woman for any man to covet really. She was beautiful and refine and was always respectable. I dont ever think I had seen or heared her act angry or even pass judgemtn on anybody even when amongst her private comapny. She was a very fashionable dresser with an abhorrence of social circles scattered around Germany. She had never visited me alone before and certainly not without a good reason to be in my company Even when chaperoned. It was always on a large social occasion whether it be a party or a special festive event. hadd a sneaky feeling she was spying in me. But why wpuld Schindler send her? And more intrestingly ehy would she agree to come if thay was true? Hmmmmmmm.....
When the conversation had run its course and we could no longer find enough adjectives to describe thw weather or update eachother on our shared friends list I had to know why she was really here. It was the Commander within me.
"So Emilie, it's been what,... five years since you and I last spoke, it was at your anniversary party in St Nicklaus Church Hall if memory serves me right. Did you suddenly rember we had not spoken in a while and I crossed your mind to update me on your life, or did Schindler send you?" I asked with a straight laced tone as I stirred my third cup of tea looking at her with a hard stare.
She smirked at me.
"Well you have crossed my mind on several occasions actually." She winked at me playfully and I couldn't help but laugh.
"So he did send you then?" I say with a lop sided smile.
"No, he didnt actually. He eanted to but I would not lwt him come. I wanted to see it for myself." She said staring back at me with an expressionless look.
"Well as you can see Helen is in one piece.So you can go and tell Sxhindler everything is fine." I say raising my cup to her and grinning.
"I didn't jist come for Helen sake. Though I ha e heared a great deal about her and I was quite intrigued about her. And fretful of course. You wpuld think after all these years I would have learned by now to just look the othwr eay. And I do, most of the time. But some how its seeps in when ai am not looking and I can only run away for so long Amon. And so can Oskar."
"Schindler had told me you where staying with your sister for Christmas and where vising other family and of clurse holdiying with your girlfriends."
She smiled again.
"I was becuase I had to Amon. You of all people know that secret about me. The good wife of Oskar Schindler. The man of charisma amd charm and devotion to his workwrs. So much devotion and charity that he can just dissappears at the right time with a perfect story of having somewhere to be in honour of his lifes labours and his buisness ventures. It's hardly a secret after all this time though is it Amon? Its become more of a silent scandal and even you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me.otherwise. You ha e been there for most of them." She said with a smile that should ha e been a cruel jibe but she reminded a lady even through this. Again.
"Emilie I was not aware he had...a ...another one of his ..situations before he arrived in the summer time. Nor had I k own he had fled here for Christmas to avoid its outcome. He never told me this time around. I ha e been quite pre occupied with other things in the last . The Camp has kept me very busy. Amd even if he had told me I am his best friend. I will always have his back." I say with a strong voice but inside I felt guilt seeping in at what I had jjst said.
She just smiled again.
"Even if you knew Amon I know you would never have disclosed it. I do t suppose Oskar exactly annoynced it in the papers for everybody to be informed. Its an affair for a reason. Even if people did know thwn well......Well I suppose they all do really. Its more of a silent scandal I suppose. When I first heared about Helen it just seemd so...familiar maybe? Listening first hand at Oskars worrisome ramblings about her well being and how vulnerable she was with you and his inscesent need to rescue her from yoyr evil clutches and find her a decent role in one of his factoeies. Which as you know by now has been the classic signs of how it starts. He cannot help what he likes. Then eventually the situations he gets himself into has its repercussions. He flits off when he is caught and I am left to deal with his so called whimsy devotion thay he no longer cares for as he can be so fixkle in his adminsitrations. Always wanting something better. All the while the lottle wife has to be privvy in the end to his detail sociable activitie. Aswell as his whores who come crawling to me when he is nowhere to be found." Emilie said with a pursed lip.
I sighed loudly in my chair and palmed face to rub put what I knew was coming. I needed alcohol for this. So I got up and went into the parlour and brought in the gin and tonic with two glasses and poured her a double. She took it from me gratefully and smiled and patted my arm.
"Thank you Amon." She whispered delicately but I swear I heard her voice tremble slightly.
She sipped her beverage as I knocked mine back and poured another. Then I looked at her. Really looked at her. There was a sadness behind her sapphire blue eyes. I hadnt notcied it before. She was too much of a prim and proper woman to ever lwt those kinds of personal deep set emotions show. Even to herself. There she was with her perfectly style curled bonde hair, her make up so delicately and naturally applied, her beige silk blouse with its pussy bow neck tie and her matching brown and carmels jacket and a line skirt. She looked like royalty. But she was being treated like a sexond class citizen in her marriage. Again.
"Emilie.....I ...I can very much assure you, there is nothing between Helen and Schindler." I said calmly as I reached for her hand.
Emilie looked at me shaplry and her jaw tightend.
"Oh I know that myself. I knew the moment I met her she wasn't his type. I was quite shocked too. It made me laugh out.of relief. Helen isn't a vulnerable woman. She is strong and independent and by God has that girl has something so powerful within herself. She is a fighter Amom. She is a lone wolf. Schindler likes the forgotten cute orphaned puppies." She said with a curled lip.
And that when I saw her throw back her gin and tonic and slammed it on the table.
"Do you have and scotch?" She asked.
I was quite taken with her sudden change in demure.
"Always." I smiled widley.
I came in with two small tumbler glasses and my best scotch.
"Didn't have you down as a dark liquer kind of woman Emilie. Besides the gin and tonics I only ever assumed you drank champagne. You seem to refined for this kid of hard liquer."
"Actually I ha ealways liked it. My father taught me how to drink. He yold me many years ago thay I lived in a man's world and it eas my job as a woman to adapt to it if I ever wanted to get anywhere and learning how to hd my alcohol was one of them. That and I can handle a gun like a pro." She said remarked in such a placid tone I had to check twice if it really was coming from her.
"Does Schinsler know?!" I blurted put like a gossiping fish wife.
She just smiled again.
"He has his secrets and I have mine too."
"Never had you down as a secret lush Emilie. But you will find no judgement here. I openly admit I love to drink." I say downing my whisky.
"Well it gives me courage." She said off handily as she took back the whiskey and placed it ever so gently on the table.
She even shot her drinks like a lady.
"And what do you Emilie Schindler need courage for? Now the virtue of patience I could see especially being married to Oskar. You seem to automatically have a natural instinct of forgiveness for who else would ever put up with such behaviour? I mean look at myself Emilie. I ha e never married. I couldn never find a woman to put up with me either. I have never wanted to either. Oskar should cou t his lucky stars he found a woman like you."
"Well you have Helen now Amon."She stayed so simply.
I looked at her with hard and narrowed eyes and I felt my face tighten in anger.
"Yes it's nice to have a maid." I said with a low growl I Cound not subdue.
"Oh are we playing that game Amon? The same one Oskar plays with his girls?" She said with an attitude as her face tightend and she loked almost angry herself.
"I don't fuck around with a woman's emotions and I certainly dont get caught out in the kind of shit he does either. How many bastards is it now Emilie? Is this new baby number three or number four?" I sneered at her with a viciously intent.
She didnt flinch. Her face just glowed.This was her poker face. Helen had a similar one.
"Well if you want the facts Amon actually it's only two. Eva lost his first child and I paid for Marta to have a termination in Switzerland. But if you are referring to Greta her baby was born and then taken to an orphanage to be adopted out after Schinsler refused me to let me take him myself and be brought up as my.own even though I had k own she eas expecting from her early pregnancy stages. And as for Lizel my sisters head maids daughter, we'll,......My sister took her baby on as her own. Herman was none the wiser to my sisters false pregnancy. He is barley home save a few weekends every three months. It was so easy for her to do." She said all this with such an air of detachment.
I looked at her in horror and disgust. I knew what Schindler was like. Emilie knew I knew what he was like becuase I had been along side him when these escapades happend. Well except for this new one. For some reason he never told me which really.pissed me.off. I never held any judgemnt about it as he is my best friend so when he would go into explicit detail about another one of his young whores carrying his child I wpuld always have something manful to say. I wpuld always habe his back. Men will be men. Sowing your oats was good nental health for any male. Letting a child be born with such charasmatic genes and true German blood was part of the future. And any other anacdotes I coumd summin to help the poor sod feel better. He even joked that I must be firing blanks becuase I never got any girl caught. Weaughed about that one alot. But now I was not.laughing. I was quite appauled. To hear it coming from his wifes pretty refined mouth made it sound so sordid and distastful. It made me feel uncomfortable and guilty, even though it was not me who was impregnating anything cute or young and dumb.I was playing the accessories to his scandals, which Emilie clearly made known to me.
We sat there in a deadly silence, it was fucking deafening. Emilie paid no attention to this and sat back sipping her scotch as I contemplated my angry outburst and cruel remarks. I knew this feeling that started to drown me. It was full guilt. Helen made me feel this way. And now another woman was doing it to me. Would their sex never end my emotional torment! Oh how I longed for the days of being mechanical and selfish!
The only way I would rid myself of such sorrowful feeling was to apologised. I don't know what felt worse, me dealing with human emotions and still not quite grasping the discomfort they gave me or having to apologise. I never apologise. Well I never did, until Helen of course. It was all her fault.
"Emilie I am sorry for what I said. It was hurtful and cruel and in utter bad taste. I would never intentionally hurt you. You are a good woman and a dam good wife to my best friend. What you have suffered from your marriage and Schindlers countless affairs and ill repute is damaging to anybody. Especially somebody that does not deserved to be treated so poorly. Please accept my apologies." I said with a a genuine request.
She sat back and she just smiled again. A soft and tender smile. Even her eyes where full of love and appreciation for what I had just done.
"Amon you know why I have always admired you?" She said with her head tikted and she folded her hands in her lap.
"What?" I said in utter confusion.
"You never lie. You say what you feel and you tell the truth . However crass or harsh it is or even how socially or emotionally unacceptable it is you just have this fantastic way of putting it straight to a person. It never falters you from speaking plainly. And that is why I admire you." She said raising her glass to me and sipping the dreg of scotch in a small toast to my "truthfull mouth'.
"Yes but do you accept my apology? Am I forgiven?" I asked depsertaly as I leaned closer to her.
She laughed.
"Of course you are Amon. You only said what is true. Oskar has never apologised to me. I think this is a first. I gladly forgive you." She said with a nod.
"Oh that's good becuase I feel awful . My mouth can be cruel and I am aware there are other ways of approaching such subjects. I cant help myself." I say with a big sigh.
"That's why you are such a good Commander. You are a natural born leader. You lay it straight, you tell the truth no matter how much it hurts. You dont apologise Amon, leaders don't apologise."
I smiled at her warmly.
"It is quite remarkbale however. I never knew you where capable of such emotions. It must be quite difficult for you. But you seem to be handling it well."
I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes in exhaustion.
"You have no idea. Its dam well exhausting."
"Well the love of a good woman will do that to you. It can make any snesible man insnae. But when its the right person its always worth the trials." She said with a small and secretive smile.
"If this is about Helen again Emilie I am not going to sit here and let you.."
I was cut off my rant as she placed her finger over my.lips to quiten me. If it had been anybody else I wpd have bitten them.
"So when you entered this kithen earlier and flung Helen on this very table, is that how you greet her every evening or is it a special occasion?" She said with a hidden smile as her brow creased.
She was trying to goad me.
" Helen is a Jewess and my maid and as God of this camp and master of this house I will do with Helen as I please." I say trying to remain calm though I could feel my cheeks burning up.
I poured another round of scotch for us. I watched as Emiles eyes sparkled like the ocean at high noon, never leaving my face. She was clearly intrigued and fascinated by my new demure.
"So have there been any other women then?" She asked lightly as she tried to subdue a girlish smile.
"I told you earlier Emilie. I am not like Schindler I don't trap my conquests with flase hopes of a better future or a baby. I let them leave on their own accord." I said in a rather dignified manner.
"But Helen can't leave." She said so matter of a fact.
It happend again. I lost my contr, banged my hands on the table and stood up with such a ferocity the kitchen chair tipped backwards.
"Dont you fucking start Emilie! This is my house! I will keep whim ever I like in it! I am the S.S Commander Amon Leopold Goeth and I will do as I wish! And to whom ever I wish!"
She stood up to me as equally deierce and stared at me hard. But then a moment later she burst into pearls of laughter and began applauding me. I stood back alarmed and shocked at such a change in her antics.
"Wow Amon. Really....wow. I never tphught I wpd see the day but I am glad I have. Ypu are in love."
And woth that she took full advantage of my immobile discord and hugged me and kissed my cheek.
I growled at her.
"Ah ah Amon. There is no need to be on the defense. I already td you I admired you for your blatant honesty. So let us leave it at that. Now come along amd lwt us retire into your parlour. Oskar tells me you have a wonderful record ayer with two speakers. " She said cheerfully as she pecked me on the cheek ahgain as she shimmed past me andpout the kitchen as if nothing had happend.
The scotch was almost gone and so was I. Emilie on the other hand remained her poised and controlled self, though her cheeks where ruddy and she had taken off her jacket and hat and sat comfortably in the paeliur armchair.
We laughed about old times and engaged eachother in more controversial topics. I let myself go a bit and divulged her in my pathwtic romantic life to help her disconnect from her own for a while. Rather than it be some solece to her she thought it a twrrifc comedy. She was besides herself with gleee when I td her all about Froline Sophia and her ugly daughter and the recent activities I had to suffer. She thought it was hilarious.
"How can that garden knomne possibly think her half wit daughter is in your league Amon?"
I snorted loudly and banged the cushions of the chaose in response.
"Thank you Emilie! Apparently I should be honoured!" I howled as I flug my hands up in the air for dramatic affect.
"If she wants to breed her prized pig then why didn't she approach a farmer?" Emilie said with a exasperated shrug of her shoulders.
I laughed so hard at her dry wit it t turned into silent hysteria and I had to lay down to control the pain in my abdomen from all the laughing. Even Emilie held her handkerchief to her eyes as her tears fell in rolls down her cheeks.
As Emilie amd I tried to simmer ourselves down Hel3n suddenly appeared at the door and I gave out a small shriek of fright. She looked so pale amd ghostly and monotone with her white skin and dark hair and eyes in her unflattering uniform. She looked like some sort of Victorian spirt.
"For God's sake Helen what have I told you about sneaking up on me! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!" I said standing up and marching toward her.
"Now Amon calm down. You have to have a heart to have a heart attack." Emilie mused as she giggled politely.
"Oh yes very funny Emilie. Do you and Schindler share the same joke book?" I said pulling a stupid face at her.
"I am sorry to disrupt you both but there is a telephone call for you Herr Goeth. It is very urgent." Helen said flatly.
"Oh Helen if this is Schindler trying to play puppet master tell him to fuck off. I am entertaining his wife." I say looking back to Emilie and giving her a wink.
She shook her head but she smiled.
"It is a gentleman named Boris Gablehauser Herr Schindler. He is calling from the German Embassy." She said as her glassy eyes stared past me.
My mouth dropped in horror. Thwre was only two reason thwy wpuld be contacting anybody. And they never jjst contacted anybody. Thwy always contacted a somebody. And I was a somebody. A very important somebody. I had been awaiting such a call since War was declared but I never really understood how intense it wpuld feel to finally receive such a call.
I shoved Helen out the way and ran to the phone and sobered up as soon as my hand touched the receiver.
"S.S. Commander Amon Leopold Goeth at your service Herr Gablehauser." I retored with a firm and masculine voice as I stood to attention in the kitchen to a faceless voice.
"Herr Goeth. We have received word from the Great Herr Hitler. I am calling you on his personal behalf to bestow some classified and immesurable information. He has received a valid confirmation from Sir Winston Churchill, England's prime Minsiter. The Americans have refused their call of war effoet duty to them. Churchill will mot call off the War however and has declated himself an English nobl. England will continue to fight until thir last man stands. . But Herr Hitler has been sent word that some English Elite forces have already started to retreat undercover in Paris. Herr Hitler had asked to inform all respectable comamnders and leading officers with immediate action. He requires you attendance to the Germna Emmbassy in 48 hours, a car will be sent to pick you up. Be packed and ready. Your dissertation and honour and obedience to Herr Hitler is worth the value of your life."
And with underlying threat the line went dead.
I stared at the receiver in complete shock. And I mean shock. It felt like I had been told I was about to die. The said shock was so encased upon me that I couldn't managed to place the receiver back on its stand becuase my hands where shaking so much. And I felt very cold, very very cold. My teeth where chattering and my legs felt very wobbly. It was like I was having some sort of putter body experience. Like thay time I had a panic attack and thought I would have to be committed.
"Herr Goeth are you alright?" I soft whispered voice came right behind my ear and I jumped out of my skin.
It was Helen of course. Her ghostly demure always silent and still. Always emotionless around me when she had the chance. Vacant eyes and a stilled body. There she was doing nothing. Being nothing. But at the same time she was doing so so much. Being a Jewess. Being my Maid, being the love of my life.Being the enemy.
"Helen go to your room and stay there. I dont want to see your face until the.morrning.." I said with a tremmmering voice.
But before she trid to leave I couldn't help but close into her personal space and take her lightly by the waist to pull her into my lean body. I could feel my shaking hands send a vibration that seemd to make her tremble too. I looked at her angular and define face. Her dark and thick arched eyes brows, her deathless brown eyes and her long spider leg lashes. Her palour so pale you would think her dying. I stroked her face gently and placed a chaste kiss on her mouth.
She left immediately like a real servant does. Like what a real Jew does when the obey their Masters.
I some how floated into the hallway and stood in the parlour as Emilie greeted me with a warming smile I couldnt not match.
"Amon.......are you alright?" Emilie asked with a deep concen as she stood up and ealked over to me.
She placed her hand on my shoulders and rubbed them vigorously.
"Good God Amon you are shaking. You look awful. What has happend? " She demanded.
"Emilie......Emilie.....this is....this is is......it was....it wasn't supposed to be how I felt. I should be rejocing at such phenomenal news. But now, this shock, this lifleness I feel......its thay natural instinct is it? The primal man.....my primal man, he knows its all over. Its all over isn't it?" I said holding onto her tightly and burying my face in the crook of her neck as she patted my back tenderly to calm me down.
Emilies face changed from caring and motherly to sudden shook and then it subdued. She relaised without me actually acknowledging whom had called and what had been said.
"Why do I feel like this Emilie? WHYYYY?!" I held her at arms length then bowed.my.head and sobbed woefully to her.
She held me close and strokd my hair as I wept into her shoulder.
"I know what you fear Amon. You wanted to win this War in the beginning. Its been your life's dream to be known. The great and powerful a d formidable S.S Commander Amon Leopold Goeth. But everything comes at a price. You had nothing to lose in the beginning bit now you do. God's gives but God always takes away." Emilie said so poetically.
I pulled away from her and circled the parlour. I did not like how she scoped in on my hidden vunrebility.
"What do you mean? I don't fear anything you silly woman! Of course I want to win this war! I've spent my life striving to obtain glory. To be who and what I am is already enough and I am dam fucking proud of it. I am self.made Emilie, so don't even go there. I may not be as charming and charismatic and sweet as our dear Oskar who is charitbale to the common and lowly folk, particularly his lowly factory girls but I have other constitutions about me that make me who and what I am and no dam War win or lose will pilfer me." I growled in defense of myself.
"The only thing you ever had to lose was this War. And that would have been a titanic loss to your reputation and commanding role. But there are always wars, always fighting, always some one wanting more. Its not like you would ever be out of a career path like yours. But you planned to win the War and you have almost got what you want. And I bet you thought that would be it. You win the War and take the praise for it, get a few meddles, shake Hilters hand, maybe even take a place in his political office and live happy ever after. No regrets, no repercussions, no guilt." She said cryptically as she stared at me with a harder brown and her dark blue eys shimmerd in the dim lighting.
"Jesus Christ Emilie don't head fuck me here. You are running the tast of my scotch mouth." I complained to her.
"You know Amon if you win this war, you lose Helen. Forever. Not amount of soldiers being killed on either sides will bother you for you are placid and logical towards their roles in the war. The War gives you your power trip and has helped you climb up to your Elite position. But Helen has given you so much more personally. She is the one factor.in your.life you couldn't control. The irony of your lofe to have a Jew serve you as you deemd fit whwn in relaity it is you who serve her. She has changed you, she has given you a hummanity. And in return you love her unconditionally. She is your mysterious miracle. But most importantly she is now worth so much more than winning this damned War. She is your treasured possession. And I know if you lose her you lose evrything and no amount of winning will ever compensate losing her.." She sad so plainly amd so truthfully and oh so fucking truthfully. Factually even.
"Then what should I do?! Please Emilie tell me...what should I do?!" I say shaking her.
"Nothing Amon. There is nothing you can do." She said as she strokd my waning face.
I wanted to scream.
"Amon I must go. If calls are already being made now I have a feeling Oskar will have been contacted too." She said with a deep sigh as she began putting on her jacket and hat and picking up her hand bag and gloves.
I followed her out like a lost and sad puppy to the front door. We hugged eachother for a good while, it was almost as if we where holding eachother together.
"Amon you need to stay strong. You need to keep it together. But most importantly you need to keep her safe. Always be one step ahead of them. You have an opportunity now to forsee what the future plans of this War are. Use this to your advantage. That shouldnt be hard for somebody like you Amon. . Keep your ears open, your eyes wide and your mouth shut. Play their game. Do as you are told. Just keep one step ahead of them. And always remember who is number one.....here is a hint....it isn't you anymore."
She laughed at the last part and so did I. She kissed me one last time and got into the car as I strolled out into the late and bitter night air to open the gates for her to leave. I stood and waved her off as she tooted the horn before I lost sight of her in the darkness of the lane.
I trudged back inside to find she had left her cigarettes on the small side table in the gold case I had bought her for her thirtieth birthday.. I smiled as I sat down and flipped open the case to see if I could steal a cigarette but I was shocked to find it was empty, save a small note she had written in haste, for her hand had smudged the ink. And it was written to me.
'Amon, Oskar and I have a plan, do not despair. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Remeber you are not the only one now. Emilie Schindler.'
Oh Emilie Schindler I smiled to myself as I threw the note into the small fire and watched as it caught light quickly and burned her name last.