They didn't meet. Taehyung busied himself with the artfest works while Jungkook tagged along with Yoongi and his usual routines. Life was never the same for both of them. Well, at least for Taehyung. He wanted to know why Jungkook was appearing in front of him, constantly trying to meet and talk to him.
And for Jungkook, it felt like Taehyung is an easygoing person who would never judge him for anything. Of course, he didn't want to be friends with the man but he would've loved the company of someone when Yoongi was busy in his studio or sleeping. And he thought Taehyung could be someone like that. But to his bad luck, they hadn't met for weeks.
It was an afternoon, he was sitting at the corner table of the library, and reading his usual fantasy books after tiring lectures. He flipped the pages feeling almost drowsy to keep his eyes open when something caught his eye.
There was a piece of paper half folded in the half of the book.
Usually, Jungkook would've spent no interest in reading them because students put papers like that with fake phone numbers or address to prank each other or even some random messages. But surprisingly, what he got was a painting. Precisely, his painting.
Jungkook held the paper as if it were a feather that flew to his hands like destiny. Whoever had portrayed him in that paper, had done a fine job in pencil drawing and gave whole justice to his every feature as if they memorized him.
He paused breathing for a moment to realize that what happened to him was a miracle that would never happen to others. Unless that someone knew him well. As it should. Because the drawing was what he was.
Sitting in a corner of the library and doodling while raindrops hitting on the window. He was sure that the painting was done by someone who knew his escape, someone who knew him while he was lost in oblivion.
Jungkook noticed there was a messy written line under the picture and it read
~
And I'll tell you
A
Million little reasons
I'm falling for your eyes
I just want to be where you are
~
Jungkook took out the paper and placed the book back in the stack while rushing out of the library. He wanted to discuss it with someone, he wanted to show it to someone. He dialed Yoongi's number twice but the man didn't pick up. Anger and helplessness seeped through his veins and he stomped his foot while walking aimlessly on the campus.
The only face his mind was painting, the only name his heart wanted to chant, the only person he longed to show it to, the only soul allowed to love him and paint him was his prince, Hansung. Yet Jungkook ended up at the studio where Kim Taehyung was.
The evening sun was about to set, the smooth sun rays invaded the little space of the art studio and Taehyung sat in the middle of the paints, messy brush strokes littering the canvas along with his face and fingers. He looked like an artwork himself in his white shirt and blue jeans. His neatly combed hair was a mess, with paint stains all over his face and hair strands.
The artist was immersed in a canvas, brush strokes here and there creating an illusion right in front of the eyes of the audience. Jungkook blinked twice at the artwork, leaning on the table and messing with the art supplies Taehyung placed on it. The said male turned as Jungkook cursed under his breath for being clumsy and diverting Taehyung's attention.
To say Taehyung was stunned after seeing Jungkook would be a major understatement. He was indeed not expecting the man to show up after what happened last time. The evening already made the sky a pale shade, and looking at Jungkook didn't brighten Taehyung's mood either.
He was dealing with his usual complex self, escaping from reality with the help of the solid bright color palette. Now it could either get worse or things will be back to square one.
Jungkook fixed his position with a small smile and that's only when Taehyung took notice of the man thoroughly.
Jungkook was wearing a black hoodie and black pants, fluffy curls falling into his eyes. He was tapping his foot on the floor as if he was nervous. Taehyung's eyes landed on the piece of paper Jungkook was holding, and he stood up from the sitting position, tugging the paintbrush behind his ear, and wiping his hands on the tissue.
"Hey, Jungkook. What's..."
"Hi, Taehyung, I---"
Jungkook fumbled with words after registering that Taehyung had eyes set on him. He forgot the sole reason why he was there because Taehyung was right in front of him, a small smile on his lips, looking soft and relaxed.
He felt embarrassed to stand there and hold the line of eye contact. But Taehyung made it easier for him with an unknown warmth that spread from his words and delicate smile.
"How have you been?"
"Oh, I'm great. I just..."
Taehyung sat on the bean bag in the corner while telling Jungkook to sit on the chair. Once they sat awkwardly, the silence between them only got intense as if the distance was widening without them even knowing. Shaking off the other thoughts, Taehyung asked.
"What's that in your hands?"
Jungkook didn't know what to answer, so he kept his mum for a moment as if to reckon with himself. His gaze lowered to the paper and he realized why he was there and at the same time, the thought scared him. Was the paper his only reason to be there? Was it just because he wanted to show Taehyung the portrait? Jungkook doesn't believe in himself, whatever his heart chanted. He held the paper tight while replying to Taehyung.
"Someone drew me..."
Taehyung was in utter shock after hearing Jungkook so he couldn't help himself other than blurting out loud.
"What?"
"Yeah. Someone drew my portrait. Without my permission."
Jungkook's voice was authoritative, a tone Taehyung had never imagined to hear from the man. But it also felt good to know that face of the younger. Sometimes, even people go through seasons. And with the way Jungkook reacted to the portrait drawn without his permission reminded Taehyung of the autumn, an uncalled season to take away the spring flowers and stain the city with fallen petals. He felt Jungkook was in the autumn of his life.
"May I see the painting?"
Taehyung worded out hesitantly. But it surprised him when Jungkook gave him the paper right away, nodding at his words. Taehyung opened it with sweaty hands, fingers shaking while holding the piece of paper. He knew what was coming. Of course.
"Did you like it?"
He asked, eyes widened like a puppy, anticipating an answer from Jungkook. But when the reply came, Taehyung held his heart on his sleeves.
"That doesn't matter."
"Why? You didn't like it?"
"Whoever it was, they might be stalking me. They drew me without my permission. And..."
Jungkook paused to look at Taehyung who had his eyes set on the portrait, his pink lips curved into a small smile while eyes dreamily scanned him.
"Whoever it was, they might know you well. Don't you think so?"
Taehyung asked out of curiosity for which Jungkook snorted in reaction. His lips curled into a pout.
"I don't like it."
There was a heavy weight on Taehyung's heart, his vision got blurry with the sting of tears threatening to fall out. He felt he was lost on a road where there was no way out, where no one could reach out.
"Besides, I don't smile like that."
Jungkook muttered under his breath.
"Yes, you do."
"What?"
"You smile like that when you look at something you like when you read books or even when you sleep in class. You smile in your dreams as if you just found out what's love."
Taehyung didn't stumble upon words. He knew what he was saying, he could hear his heart chanting what should tell Jungkook. He did exactly that. Taehyung knew Jungkook may or may not believe him, he knew his words might feel like a dubious confession. But now that he was sitting in front of the man, with his raw and vulnerable feelings to display, Taehyung felt it was the right thing to do.
"What... are you..."
"If you give me permission, can I draw you?"
"Taehyung... It's not just the drawing, I'm here to talk about how someone stalked me and the lines written under and all... Ugh, I'm going crazy--"
"---If you allow me, I want to do a painting of yours"
"Right now?"
"Yes, right now. Right here"
~ 🍂 ~
To exist in a bubble of an anticipated summer, to float in the autumn and to be lost in the winter, and finally bloom in the spring is what Jungkook meant by life nowadays. To live and to not care about anything around him. How easy if that wish had finally come true.
He would love to share the secret of his happiness with the world but Jungkook had learned that people will indeed destroy the precious thing they used to admire once. There is no fun in permanence.
Jungkook was not making things in his head, neither was his heart chanting to him. It was what he read from Taehyung's face while sitting there like a sculpture only for Taehyung to draw him.
The elder has been on it for a long time now, colors mixing and filling the white spaces of the canvas that Jungkook couldn't see. It makes him wonder why Taehyung looked like a boy lost in a dream while painting. Was it him or was Taehyung always this intriguing for him to not blink and turn his head?
With each brush stroke, Jungkook had witnessed Taehyung's face changing into waves of emotion, until the elder paused for a moment to look at him. Taehyung really looked at him twice, and both times, his eyes spoke a lot in a language that Jungkook didn't master.
Taehyung kept it all in him, the fire, the passion, the beauty and even the pain- Jungkook could see it right through the artist. It all reminded him of a soul, too far away for him to hold but still bright in his dreams.
To Taehyung, Jungkook has always been the masterpiece he loved to capture. Even now, in front of him with his big doe eyes and pink lips curling to a soft smile, Jungkook reminded him of the reason why he was there in the first place, dipped in colors, exhausted even to take a deep breath yet devoted to his beloved.
Once Taehyung placed the brush down and wiped his hands in the tissue, Jungkook stiffened at his position. Though he was just sitting on the chair, head resting in his palm while looking at Taehyung, It felt heavy on his heart when their eyes met in an abyss, sharing nothing but a profound silence. He slowly stood up from the seat and walked hesitantly toward the painting, holding his gaze on Taehyung.
"Can I see it now?"
Jungkook whispered, making Taehyung's heartbeat stutter because he knew what would happen the next moment when Jungkook would see his art. He nodded in silence, giving way to Jungkook while turning away from the painting. His slender fingers curled around the used brush ever so delicate yet tightly as if it was the only thing that made him stay put.
With a deep inhale, Jungkook confronted the portrait Taehyung made. He knew Taehyung's talent in everything and that made him happy and pained at the same time. But he was also curious to see himself in Taehyung's eyes.
His eyes landed on the painting finally and Jungkook forgot to breathe. It was him. It was really him but not while sitting there and posturing for Taehyung.
The portrait Taehyung made was way too beyond his imagination and Jungkook felt himself breaking into pieces. Taehyung could have drawn the picture of him sitting there but the elder chose something else that reminded him of the day when Jungkook had to part ways with his dear Hansung.
Jungkook remembers it clearly, how he was there in the middle of the rain, tears, and raindrops mixing as he stood without an umbrella, feeling his broken heart and holding the Tigerlily from Hansung's garden in his hand.
It was his dead end, it was his last day of happiness, it was his first and last time falling in love and feeling it broken into pieces. It was what Taehyung captured in his portrait. It was what Taehyung saw while looking at him.
The time traveler looked at the canvas solely. He wasn't mistaken, his eyes were not lying. Everything was there, even the melancholic feeling overtaking the whole portrait. Except, Jungkook noticed, Taehyung had replaced the Tigerlily with a red rose.
"How did you..."
Jungkook held Taehyung's shoulder who was not looking at him. His fingers brushed the fabric of the other's shirt, desperate for answers. Taehyung was a mess. He knew Jungkook's question but he couldn't answer. He believed he would bust out if he let his guard down and confronted Jungkook.
"How did you find me there--"
The younger screamed out of his lungs, pulling Taehyung towards him and making him look straight at him. Only then he found the sparkling shine in Taehyung's eyes and trembling lips. Jungkook took a deep inhale as if to control himself before speaking again.
"Answer me, Taehyung. HOW DID YOU DRAW THIS? WERE YOU THERE WHEN I-- "
"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, JUNGKOOOK."
In a split second, they both felt their worlds revolving in reverse, colliding with each other and shattering to scraps. Jungkook stared at Taehyung flabbergasted, heart twitched as the teardrop fell from Taehyung's red-shot eyes.
"Taehyung, wha---"
"--I FREAKING LOVE YOU, JEON JUNGKOOK."
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What just happened? 👀
I hope I served you for the long break of updates. Share your thoughts...
[Ps. Credit to the owner for the fanart]
See you soon.
~AnecdotesOfABroken