ELIJAH
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"Angela wait, I didn't mean that-"
She abruptly turns around, pinning me with the most hateful glare I've ever seen on her and it's directed towards me. My chest tightens and my fists ball with the need to hit something- most likely myself for saying something so stupid.
I hold my breath as she takes slow steps towards me. I open my mouth to apologize to her but she holds up her hand and stops in front of me.
"Answer one question for me, Elijah." She says while looking at me straight in the eye.
I only manage to nod, not wanting to upset her any more than I already have.
"Do you think I can defend myself if someone had to attack me at this moment?"
The thought of someone attacking her at all, darkens my mood and causes my gaze to reflexly sweep the room for dangers I know isn't there. When I look back down at her, she stares at me so intensely that I catch glimpses of vulnerability in her eyes.
I take a step towards her but the step she takes back, makes my chest hurt. "Yes Angela, I think you can defend yourself."
She lets out a laugh of disbelief while shaking her head. She doesn't even reply to my answer and only turns around getting ready to leave again. I grunt and catch her wrist but she roughly tugs out of my grip and glares at me with slightly glassy eyes.
"Angel..." I don't know what to say and only stare at her.
"I really thought you had a little bit more faith in me, Elijah."
I frown at her words, "Of course I have faith in you-"
"No you don't." She slightly shakes her head. "Then you would not have said that you 'think' I could defend myself, you would have known that I could. You would have come down here everyday and encouraged me while I trained. You would have checked up on me yourself and not send Gio down here instead. And you wouldn't have said what you did a few moments ago."
I'm at a loss for words. I didn't think that she actually wanted me down here in the first place, so I tried to keep my distance.
Clearly she needed someone to confide in but was too proud to actually sit down and talk to someone. I can see it in the way she's trying to keep a brave face and not let her tears fall. She didn't want to admit that she actually wanted someone to talk to about what happened and how it really bothered her.
I had thought she talked to Nicole but clearly she didn't tell her how she truly felt. The thought of her secretly wanting me to come talk and comfort her makes my chest tighten with the need to pull her close.
"Angela I'm- " She shakes her head again, wanting me to stop talking but I grab her hands and pull her towards me. "Wait, let me speak. Please."
She doesn't say anything, so I continue, "That night when I found you laying there - hurt - it felt as if my heart wanted to jump out of chest and go and check up on you itself. My mind was racing with thoughts of who had hurt you and if you would be okay. I was angry with myself for not being there to protect you-"
"You won't always be there to protect me, Elijah." She says softly and I nod.
"Yes, I know. But still the thought of losing you again hurts even more than when I lost you the first time." She looks away from me but I capture her chin and turn her face towards me. "I know you can protect yourself. I can protect myself too but that doesn't mean I can't get hurt when I'm fighting alone."
She doesn't let a single tear fall from her welling eyes and it causes me to pull her towards my chest, engulfing her in my arms. She doesn't hug me back though and I hate how she still tries to keep a brave face in front of me. I want her to know that I'm here for her. I'll always be here for her.
"I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I didn't mean it." I apologize and kiss the top of her head. "You've grown to become a strong and independent woman, Angela. You don't let others control you anymore and I want you to know that I'm extremely proud of you."
She finally wraps her arms around me and I tighten my hold around her.
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We're silently walking up the stairs when Angela turns to me. She looks a bit hesitant before reluctantly asking, "Can I move back to your room?"
A small smile pulls at my lips. "You know you're always welcome there."
Her cheeks tint a light red before she softly gives me a shove and continues up the steps. "I've been having trouble sleeping on the bed in that room and yours is more comfortable." She mumbles as she walks towards her room, probably to get some of her things.
Warmth floods my chest and my smile grows as I watch after her.
Oh how I've missed her.
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I walk out of the bathroom, freshly showered when I see Angela on my bed already showered and dressed for bed.
When she sees me leaving the bathroom, I catch her gaze dropping towards my bare chest. I smirked when her cheeks burned a deep red before clearing her throat and looking away.
I silently make my way towards the walk in closet and get dressed. When I walk back out, Angela made herself comfortable on the right side of the bed.
Memories of her sleeping here in my bed came flooding back. It brought a sad smile to my face, thinking about how open she used to be with me. But back then, she trusted me and I broke that trust the moment I decided to lie to her.
I stifle a heavy sigh before getting into bed myself. I need to find a better way to gain her trust again.
She turned off the lamp and silently pulls the covers over her. A frown pulls at my brows.
I turn of my bedside lamp too, engulfing us in darkness. Laying down, I stared up at the ceiling, my mind racing with thoughts.
It was well over two am now. I would have to get up in a few hours but can't seem to shut down my mind.
Angela turned onto her side, turning her back towards me. After a few seconds, she turned onto her back again. She laid still for a second before trying to find a comfortable position again but failed.
"What's wrong?" I asked and she sighed.
"I don't know, I can't seem to fall asleep." She says, finally deciding to turn onto her side and face me instead.
My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I could faintly make out her face. There was a small frown between her brows.
"Come here."
"What?" She asks softly with uncertainty.
Knowing fully well she heard me, I reached toward her and gently pulled my arms around her. She gasped when I pulled her to my side, wrapping one arm around her and laying her head on my chest.
For a minute she was tense and didn't move but slowly started to relax when my hand softly ran up and down her arm.
She slowly placed her hand on my chest, trying to get comfortable.
"Is this better?"
She nodded and I felt her sigh.
"Can I ask you something?"
She nodded again but raised her head before resting her chin on her hand, gazing up at me.
"How can I gain back your trust?" I ask softly, feeling a bit helpless.
She doesn't answer for a bit, only staring at me in thought before laying her head back down onto my chest.
"Trusting people and I mean, really trusting people - like when you're not worried that they might hurt you or break the promises they made you... is something I've been struggling with for a while." She says mindlessly playing with the fabric of my shirt. "I was naive thinking the people I cared most about wouldn't lie to me even if it was to protect me. You might not see this as a huge thing but my feelings were truly hurt. I trusted my family - I trusted you. And being lied to isn't something I appreciate when all I've been was honest and open with everyone."
My heart hurts hearing her say all that, making the guilt I feel even more prominent. I didn't realize how hurt she actually was. I didn't like it. Not one bit.
I wrapped my other arm around her body too, pulling her closer towards my chest. I placed a soft kiss on her forehead, knowing that a simple 'I'm sorry' won't take away the hurt she's still feeling.
The thought that she still seeks comfort from me, even after everything that's happened makes my heart squeeze with an impossible grip.
I'm going to fix this. I'm going to try and take away her pain and heartache. I'm going to win back her heart.
She deserves so much more than what she was given.
"I'm going to gain back that trust, Angela. I'm going to continue fighting for you. I'm going to make you mine again. Just know that I'm always here for you." I kiss her forehead again.
"You know that I'm forever yours." I whisper quietly but she's already peacefully asleep in my arms.
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