I feel my eyes begin to glaze over as the same fast food ad repeats on the living room tv for the tenth time.
I turn my head to my demonic friend and after a moment she turns her head to me with a friendly but confused smile, tilting her head in unspoken question.
I shrug and slouch further into the sofa. "I'm bored."
"And what exactly am I meant to do about that?" She asks, amusement lacing her voice.
"I never said you had to do anything, Princess." I retort dryly.
She rolls her eyes at the nickname and shifts her focus back to the advertisement.
Finally, the droll ad ends and returns us to our chosen senseless entertainment. I find this remarkably boring.
Maybe all the life-changing excitement has rendered such typical things devoid of interest.
"Ugh." I groan aloud, both at my boredom and how Chara's vocabulary has begun to sink into my thoughts.
Chara raises an interested eyebrow and a playful grin at my outburst as if she knows exactly what I find annoying.
I mean seriously, who calls an ad 'droll' in their thoughts?
Me I guess.
"What's wrong now?" Chara coos happily.
"Nothing." I grumble, wiping my face as if the gesture would wipe away the cringe I feel at myself.
"Ah yes, Sir [Y/n] [L/n] he who makes strange noises without warrant." She retorts in a played-up accent of her own somewhat posh voice.
"Indeed my Princess, tis I." I say, matching her mocking tone with a grin.
She crosses her legs and leans against the arm of the couch, giving her full attention to me. "Seriously though what's up?"
"It really is nothing," I say, yawning and stretching against the couch. "I'm just kinda bored."
"We could-" She begins but I cut her off before she finishes.
"I'm not fighting you until I have this under better control." I answer.
She scoffs at me. "Listen little human-" I cut her off again.
"Taller than you."
She rolls her eyes but continues with some annoyance in her voice. "-I can handle myself just fine." Her eyes narrow coldly. "And only by an inch."
"Taller is taller." I shrug, avoiding the subject.
She decides to let this slide and continues, her red eyes glittering with suppressed excitement. "I can help you learn to control your powers in the only way that matters."
"Fighting my best friend?" She gives me an annoyed look.
"Don't be incredulous." She scoffs.
"Look, I don't want to hurt you-" She cuts me off this time.
"You can't."
"And I don't want to be beat until I can control myself again." I finish.
She sighs, letting her arms drop to her sides in resignation. "[Y/n] I dealt with something very similar, I really can help you." Her face shows only sincere concern and just a drop of impatient excitement.
"I know you have experience with this kinda stuff and I know you wanna help Red but this is different." She brushes off the nickname with a small frown.
"Enlighten me."
"You and Frisk are Determination." I say, pausing to put my thoughts into understandable words.
Chara
I listen closely, waiting for the pause to end and for him to explain his reasoning.
I see the pain and fear in his eyes. The powerlessness and sorrow. The utter dread permeating from his very soul.
I taste it in the air.
A few months ago it would have been something to savor. If it were someone else It probably still would be. But not [Y/n]'s. Not his.
The smell of despair is undoubtedly his, the memory of the ruins remains fresh in my mind. Before I found It kind of funny but now It just makes me feel sick to my stomach.
That someone I care about so much could be in so much pain.
Pain the mirror of my own.
I just hope he'll let me help him.
Watching him suffer like this is making me crazy.
He sighs after a moment, using his thumb to pick at his index finger, a habit of his I noticed shortly after we met. He has a callous in the spot he always scratches.
I focus on this detail for a moment before he starts speaking.
"You and Frisk are Determination." He repeats again, looking at his hand a frown on his face. "And I am Desire."
"Nearly the same and yet different in a single and crucial way."
"And that is?" I ask quietly, hearing the sad acceptance in his voice.
"A focus point." He answers. "A filter."
"You decide to do something consciously and you strive toward that unendingly," He continues. "An unwavering drive that has changed the world."
'In more ways than you know.' I think to myself sadly.
"But my soul.." He trails off, pulling the glowing purple thing from thin air, illuminating the room in his dark lilac hue. "It's impulse." He spits venomously.
I flinch at the harshness in his tone. The previously unsaid hatred for his own existence leaking out like poison.
"Intrusive thoughts and dark impulse rewarded with strength." He says with a slight sneer. "My soul and I are in a toxic relationship." He jokes bitterly.
Again I feel his emotions in the air as strongly as if I were touching them. Not that I need such demonic powers to understand how he's feeling.
Even If I hadn't been through something similar I can see it plain enough on his face.
"In my darker moments, I find myself blaming Sans for this.." He admits in a whisper, a forced smile on his face.
I squeeze his hand softly to snap him out of whatever thought he's lost in.
His eyes shift to me quickly and for a moment I feel myself dive into the sorrow of his Lilac pupils.
Purple again..
And when did I start holding his hand?
No, doesn't matter Chara focus!
"Listen [Y/n] I know this is hard, and we can talk as many times as you need for as long as you need, I never want you to feel like you're taking too long," I say softly, the words coming quickly as my mind races to comfort my friend. "And whenever you feel ready to try to control this, I will do my best to help, no matter how you choose to do it and no matter how long it takes."
He tries and fails to fight an embarrassed smile. "I thought you weren't gonna do any more mushy soft stuff.." He mumbles, hiding his red face.
"I guess you just bring it out of me." I joke back nudging him softly.
We sit in silence for a moment before I continue. "There's no timetable for progress." His head is buried in his knees but I know he's listening. "And I mean what I said, when, where, and how doesn't matter, you can count on me."
He takes this in for a moment and I hear a few very quiet sobs that turn into sniveling laughs. "Some de-demon you are." He jokes with a smirk.
"I do my best." I coo gently, returning his smile.
"Sorry, this keeps happening." He mutters, leaning against me.
"It comes with the title," I say simply.
"Princess?" He asks.
"Best friend." I remind him.
"Awee, you called me your best friend!" He grins brightly, his purple eyes shimmering.
"Don't let it get to your head."
He laughs and leans against me more.
"School's gonna suck tomorrow." He whines.
"You have school again?"
"Yeah."
"Don't worry, if someone bothers you I'll skin them." I say, with my most convincing tone.
He looks legitimately concerned for a long moment before he sees through my ruse. "Oh god you had me going for a second."
I snicker at his response. "I'm not entirely joking."
"Don't hurt anyone please Chara."
"No promises."
"Yes promises!"
I giggle at this and can't help but find his annoyed pleading kind of cute.
That is until a bit of his snot nearly dribbles onto my sweater.
"Agh, gross wipe your nose!" I sneer, pushing him off me.