(Faith pov)
February-12th-2019
New york📍
I walked out of the mall with a buy of gifts for Valentine's day. When I left I was surrounded by cameras.
Paparazzi: "Is it true that you're Dating Ariana Grande?"
Paparazzi: "When did you start dating Ariana? & Are the rumors true you're only dating for the money?"
Paparazzi: "Did she break up with Pete or was this secretly happening behind his back??"
Paparazzi: "Faith Gomez!! Just one minute with you."
They kept asking questions as I walked away from them. I did my best to avoid them. The more they kept asking questions the more annoyed & pissed I got.
Faith's thoughts: "Just ignore them, don't pay attention."
Paparazzi: "Faith!! Just one answer…Did you Force Ariana to…"
I just couldn't take it anymore, I didn't force Ariana to do anything she doesn't want.
Faith: "Can you people leave me alone? I'm just trying to walk down the street!!"
Paparazzi: "At least just answer one question for us."
Faith: "I'm not going to answer any dumb question about Ariana…yes I'm in a committed relationship with her, Now can you just leave me the dam alone for God sakes."
I grip the bag tighter & walk fast here & call taxi & immediately get in.
Taxi: "Where to miss?"
Faith: "Just drive."
When I got back to the apartment I wasn't even in the clear. There were people surrounding the doors. They literally had nothing better to do but bother us, life was great until we went public.
Faith's thoughts: "Why can't they ugh!!!"
Faith: "Drop me off a block away." He nods.
I get off & pay the guy & wait it out covering myself with my hoodie.
3 hours went by & they were still at the apartment. I couldn't take it. I just wanted to go inside to prepare my gift & work on my song.
I just spent my time on a bench 2 blocks away from my apartment. By that time I got a text from Ariana.
~Messages~
Ding~
Ariana: Fae I'm almost home, do u mind taking Myron & Toulouse out for a walk?
Faith: Ya I don't mind
Ariana: Your the best ily 😘
Faith: I was being sarcastic Moonlight 🙄😑
Faith: No ofc I would love to take them out for a wake if it wasn't for the dozen of people outside the fucking Apartment!!
Ariana: What!?
Faith: Ya exactly they won't leave & now I know what u mean about personal life
Ariana: Hold up the paparazzi outside our building?
Ariana: What do they even…oh that, ya let me call the landlord get this shit straighten out
Faith: Please cause it's starting to get cold out here 🥶
~Messages end~
30 minutes go by & they finally leave & it was getting dark, at that exact same time Ariana pulled up walking out of Victoria's car.
Faith's thoughts: "This is what happened when you dated your celebrity best friend."
I walk in before she does & hide the bag in the studio room & sit down on the couch hungry, tired, & pissed.
Ariana opens the door & walks in very sorry about what happened today.
Faith: "I understand that this was going to happen, but if I was a guy they wouldn't care so much if I was dating you."
It was true don't get me wrong, there are struggles to coming out gay. They weren't just asking, they were invading my personal space.
Faith: "What did piss me off was the fucking questions that asked me, Ariana this, money that, like I was dating you for the attention, at one point I really wanted to punch one them in the fucking face!!"
I really wanted to but that never happened, but I thought & wish it should've happened.
Ariana: "Fae that's their job no matter how much we hate it…I've gotten multiple phone calls for interviews, my personal life is non existence at this point."
Faith's thoughts: "I just don't like what they're saying about me." I sigh.
Faith: "I get that, I just…it frustrates me that people think of me that way."
Ariana: "Not everyone, my fans really love you & adore you, look."
She showed me the post from Instagram two days ago & she was right, the comments were positive from the celebrity to her fans.
Faith's thoughts: "That's really great, really."
It wasn't about being expected by everyone, I don't care if they approve or not. What did bother me again were the assumptions about me.
Ariana: "Fae baby where are you going."
Faith: "To blow off some steam." I head upstairs.
I go into the bedroom & look from my gym clothes.
Ariana: "You're not thinking about going to the gym?"
Faith: "Tell me a better way to blow off steam."
(Ariana pov)
Ariana: "You just got home & I just got home, I'd like to spend time with my girlfriend."
Faith: "So I can't go to the gym."
Ariana: "I'm not saying you don't have to, but I've been really busy & I just would love to relax & spend my time with you."
Faith: "You've gone 4 years without me, you can go one single night without me, I was able to do it just fine." It was the way she said it.
I couldn't believe she said that, that hurt deep. I was just wanted to spend time with her I guess I fucking can't.
Ariana: "Fine, go to the gym, I'll fuck off!!" I wanted to cry.
I slam the door & lock myself in the studio room balling my eyes out.
Faith: "I didn't mean to say it like that Bebe, I'm sorry open the door."
Ariana: "Go away!! Go to your stupid gym."
Faith: "Moonlight!! Ariana open up please I'm sorry." Ignored her.
I curl up into my knees laying against the couch, crying into my knees. It hurt more than it should've, coming from her like me coming back didn't mean shit.
Ariana's thoughts: "Why doesn't she think before saying that."
I stay in the room for the next couple of hours. Eventually Faith stopped calling & knocking on the door. I thought she left the gym like she said, I opened the door & wiped my tears looking around the apartment.
She wasn't home & I sat on the couch holding a pillow against my chest. Thinking about what she told me & how she said it, I wouldn't call it our first fight but it happened.
Ariana's thoughts: "If she comes home I don't wanna talk with her."
Not much later the door opens up & there she is. I was expecting her to be wearing her usual gym clothing. Instead she walked in with take out & flowers in her other hand.
Faith: "These were the last purple lavender flowers they had." She nervously said.
The flowers weren't in the best condition.
Faith: "I also umm…I got your favorite food too…well I made sure there was none of that meat & ya."
I get up & walk back upstairs & give her the cold shoulder.
Faith: "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry…can you talk to me please."
I walk back with blankets & set them on the couch.
Ariana: "You can think about it sleeping on the couch."
Faith: "I…I…I didn't mean it, I just got really pissd today, I'm sorry Moonlight."
Ariana: "Well you get to sleep on the couch for the night, that was fucking mean & it really hurt."
She tried to talk to me but it was late & I wasn't in the mood for her shit. She knows I'm very sensitive to things, but she just doesn't think before doing or saying things.
I head back to the bedroom & get myself ready for bed. This time I wasn't waiting for my special girl, it felt off without her next to me. I smile weakly at a memory of her & fall asleep.
February-13th-2019
The next morning getting my day ready heading for pre rehearsal before my tour. I thought I'd still see her sleeping on the couch but she wasn't there.
I was slightly concerned & found breakfast already made with a note & the flowers next to it.
Faith's note: "I know I shouldn't have said that last night, I say things & do things without realizing it…You didn't do anything wrong & I'm sorry I love you & I'm a be out thinking about this crap I'll be home don't worry my stupid butt deserves this..I made you breakfast might have to reheat it, so umm ya I love you & I'm sorry I didn't want to make you cry."
She's really sweet & caring that will never change. That's my bebe for you, & know I don't fucking hate her I don't know how to feel. I wanted to be pissed at her but she left this cute freaking note for me.
Ariana's thoughts: "How am I supposed to stay mad at you!!"
(Faith pov)
New York📍
Faith's thoughts: "I hate myself." I sigh. "Why did I think that was a good thing to say at the moment!!"
I walk down the streets of New York City wearing my coat & a mask to keep me warm.
I didn't worry too much that people wouldn't notice who I am. We did announce our relationship just a couple of days ago.
Faith's thoughts: "At least I didn't mess up badly like last time." I nervously chuckled to myself.
I continue walking down the streets of the city covered in white. It was nice walking down the streets to clear my mind. Not knowing where I was going but I was walking.
I continued walking & found myself in the park where Ari & I had our special moment together here. It was covered in snow, just pure soft fluffy snow.
Faith's thoughts: "It's just going to get worse from here."
I sat down at a nearby bench, I had a feeling it would get worse. With each day going by it the date gets closer & closer. It was easier when I had Ariana & it should be the same again right?
Faith's thoughts: "I don't know anymore, I don't want to see her cry again." I put my hands on my face & sigh.
I made her cry & it was the last thing I wanted to do. She has more to worry about than I do, I shouldn't have let my emotions get the better of me.
Faith: "I'll hurt you again & I know it."
I had this feeling & over thought it hundreds of times before I was with her & now.
I never really pushed past my problems, I pushed aside & that the problem. One day it's just going to all flood back & I'm not going to know how to deal with it.
Boy: "Hey are you okay!!?" A little boy sits down next to me. "Lady you okay."
Faith: "Hasn't your mom told you never to talk to strangers."
Boy: "Well my mom told me if you're ever sad smile even if there's no cloud in the sky smile…she said it helps to see the happy things in life." he smiles looking out & swings his legs.
Faith: "Your mom is a very wise & caring person." I Crack a small smile.
Boy: "I know…I hope you get better I gotta go bye!!"
That was one of the sweetest interactions I ever had. I really had me think about what the little boy said to me, & pick up my phone & call Ariana.
I call her a couple of times & she doesn't pick up at all. She was probably busy, doing rehearsals, scheduling interviews & all of that.
Faith's thoughts: "I should get back home."
Heading back home I passed by a little toy shop filled with stuffed animals. Which gave me an idea.
Toy shop📍
I walked in & looked around looking through all the different teddy bears they had.
Shop owner: "Is there anything you need help with?"
Faith: "Not really I'm just looking around, thanks."
Shop owner: "Well if you need any help don't hesitate to ask." He smiles.
Faith: "Actually…"
I walk out of the toy shop with a teddy bear with a cute little outfit with mine & Ari's initials on it.
Studio📍
I grab some flowers before I get to the studio. I enter & find all of them rehearsing, in the back room awkwardly.
They finish dancing & my Moonlight is laughing with her dancer & one of them immediately points & tells her about me.
I smile nervously at her.
Ariana: "Hey what are you doing here?" She was slightly confused.
Faith: "I thought I'd come by & see you…also drop off these." I hand her the red roses & the teddy bear. "I can just yea I'll set them here." I set them on the table.
Ariana: "You shouldn't say things without thinking."
Faith: "I know, I know." I sigh. "If you're still mad at me totally, I get it, I would be too…I'll just go, I'll have dinner ready when you get back home."
I smiled weakly at her. It felt awkward but I was here & wasn't sure what else to tell her.
Ariana: "Ya I am still pretty pissed & mad at you, & I deserve a good apology."
Faith: "I'm not that great at apologies." I rub the back of my neck nervously. "You did read my note I left, I did tell you I was sorry & I got you more flowers & this cute little bear." I pick it up & show her.
Ariana: "I want to hear you say it to me." She smiles.
Faith: "Right now!? Here I…I…Can't it wait till we get home." She shakes her head no. "I'm sorry for what I said, I say things when I shouldn't & let the best of me get to me, I can't promise it won't happen again & if you need to sleep on the couch for another day or how long I get it…I'm sorry & I love you a lot."
She smiles & stares at me.
Ariana: "Okay I forgive you & don't do that shit again or try to." She hugs me & I hug her back. "You're impossible to deal with."
Faith's thoughts: "I know & it'll only get worse for here." I sigh, smiling.
Faith: "Well I got dinner to make, so I should get going."
Ariana: "Make sure you wait for me."
Faith: "That's if you actually come home on time." I chuckle.
Ariana: "I was only late a couple of times."
Ariana's apartment📍
Before making dinner since I knew she was going to be home slightly later than usual. I've been in the studio working on the song it's almost a month. I had this song almost done & it had to be near perfection.
Faith's thoughts: "Just a little bit more than I can send it to Max."
After finishing all that up I start to make dinner. Cutting & dicing vegetables, cooking in the kitchen with music playing in the back.
Faith's thoughts: "There's something I'm missing?"
I couldn't think what it was, I forgot something important, that's what I thought. Moments later after finishing cooking dinner, letting it cool down a bit, I realized what it was.
Faith: "I didn't set the dining table ready!!"
I hurry up & set everything on the dining table. Any moment she could walk through that door. The food was set out & I was waiting patiently for her, almost half an hour goes by with nothing.
I have my head on the table & my stomach rumbles. The food had gotten cold & as I'm about to put everything away & eat without her in the studio room.
The door unlocks as I put my food in the microwave.
Ariana: "I'm here sorry the traffic back was a mess & I had to talk with Max on the phone." She walks in with her backpack & the bear & flowers I got her. "Faith?"
Faith: "In the kitchen." I finished reheating the food.
Ariana: "The food smells good."
Faith: "Ya, I had to reheat though…just sit down I'll bring it out."
Ariana: "Is everything okay?"
Faith: "Ya I'm fine."
Ariana: "You sure?"
Faith: "There is nothing wrong, I'm fine, just relax & I'll bring the food out."
What felt wrong or off was still on my mind about yesterday. Always overthinking that's my problem, even if we have forgiven each other. I still have this feeling that I need to make it up to her.
(Ariana pov)
Ariana: "The food is good."
Faith: "Well it would've been better fresh off the stove."
Ariana: "Something is on your mind, tell me."
I felt like something was off with her & there was something that she wasn't telling me.
Faith: "We made up, there's nothing on my mind, I still feel bad about hurting you…it's okay I suppose you're feeling & looking better." She smiles weakly.
Ariana: "Hey we're going to fight from time to time about shit that doesn't mean I won't still love you, there's something we won't agree on, if it still bothers you don't let it okay."
Faith: "Ya I'll do my best not to." She smiles.
After eating dinner & getting ready for bed I peek over at her changing. Bored, I sit in the walk-in closet fidgeting with anything I find.
Faith: "Why are…Moonlight? Why are you watching me change?"
She turns around top less covering her chest looking back at me.
Ariana: "What I can stare at my girlfriend." I giggle.
Faith: "Creep." She giggles.
She tosses a shirt covering my face, I take off the shirt & go up to her pouncing on her having fun.
Faith: "Can you not Moonlight!! You're going to hurt yourself."
Ariana: "Says who." I giggle & she tries to get me off of her. "Noo!!! Babe!! I don't wanna let go bebe!!! Fae!!! Please no!!" I tighten my grip.
She walks in the bedroom, well she tries to as I giggle holding onto her hiding myself in her chest. She finally puts me on the bed, she looks at me sitting. Immediately hiding under the covers giggling.
Faith: "I'm not going to play your games not tonight." I wait a while & peek out & she's on top of me staring me down.
She pins me on the bed holding both my hands down. She leans in kissing me passionately & I just close my eyes kissing her back, feeling the soft touch of her lips.
Faith: "There now you can leave me alone." She gets up & heads to the bathroom.
I lay there catching my breath all heating up wanting more of it.
Ariana: "Babe!!"
Faith: "I'm not listening."
Ariana: "You can't just leave like this all turned on!!"
Faith: "Oh I can & deal with it." She smirks.
I touch my lips & imagine her hands pinning me down again frustrated & annoyed the way she left me & right before Valentine's day.