This is a very long chapter. Be prepared.
Meanwhile, at the BLU Team Base.
BLU Scout and BLU Sniper were watching a clip of the RED Team arguing about Politics on TV. The BLU Spy had secretly recorded the whole thing when he was trying to retrieve the enemy intelligence. But when he stumbled upon this, he knew the entire BLU Team would get a kick out of it.
BLU Scout and BLU Sniper were watching the part where the RED Soldier lost his shit and started going full ape. They laughed hysterically as he beat his chest.
"Dude, this has got to be the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life." BLU Scout tells BLU Sniper, cheerfully elbowing him as he gestured to the TV with a Bonk! in his hand.
"You're right on that. This is bloody unbelievable." BLU Sniper agrees, holding his favorite beer of Roo Brew. He took a drink as they continued watching the RED Soldier lose his shit.
"Holy shit! He just said we should have nuked the Taliban and the Chinese. For an opposing RED member, that's based as fuck." BLU Scout says.
BLU Sniper laughs along with BLU Scout, not really paying full attention to what he just said.
"Yea...just like..." Then, BLU Sniper paused. He glanced at BLU Scout With a confused frown. Something he said didn't sit right with him.
"Wait a minute, nuke the Taliban and Chinese? I can understand the former but why the latter?" BLU Scout gave the BLU Aussie a weird look.
"What?" BLU Scout raised an eyebrow, still smiling. "That was actually pretty based, I could agree that nuking them would have caused less problems in the world, or y'know, China being China..." BLU Scout sighs, frustrated.
"I can't believe Biden just pulled us out of Afghanistan like that! It's because of him, actual terrorists are leading the country!"
"Come on Scout , you don't mean that right? It's kinda stupid calling our enemy based, isn't it?" BLU Sniper asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, so what?"
"So what?" BLU Sniper repeated, disbelief in his voice. "That's a RED member! We're hired to kill them for God's sake! Besides, pulling out was probably one good thing Biden did in his entire presidency. That war was just over oil and to feed the military industrial complex!"
"Are you seriously telling me that what Biden did was entirely justified?" BLU Scout almost shouts. "You know we were so close to winning that war, right?"
"Come on, Sniper, that has just got to be what every leftist has said about America's war policy. 'We fought over here for oil'. Like no, the fuck we didn't. We came to liberate them."
"Liberate them?!" BLU Sniper shouts, "Ther war wasn't over freedom, it was over resources! And even if I'm wrong, you can't deny that the military industrial complex got richer in the last 20 years!"
"Yeah, and our people fought to liberate people from dictatorships like from Saddam Hussein and Gaddafi." BLU Scout refuted.
"Who are YOU to say if they were dictators?" BLU Sniper demanded. "I found people on the internet who said they were benevolent! That they were just trying to form independent governments and they brought a lot of prosperity to Iraq and Libya!" He says to his Reactionary teammate. "But now look at what America and NATO did to these countries; they are in shatters and in civil wars, just like Afghanistan, the imperial U.S. was never winning the war."
BLU Scout shoots up from his seat to point at BLU Sniper. "You seriously want to debate politics with me, liberal? I can seriously debunk you in this conversation!!" BLU Scout proclaims.
"The whole reason we were in Iraq was because that dumbass Saddam Hussein had WMDs! Saddam Hussein threatened the entire Middle East with unleashing these WMD's, and he tried to use that shit on Iran." He tells him, his tone growing more heated than ever.
"Just imagine what would have happened if he used that shit on say...9/11. WW3 would have started right there and then, so shut the fuck up liberal and stop spreading socialist lies!"
"Why do you even care about them? You don't even have proof! Nor the government to back your conservative ass up!" BLU Sniper swiftly stands up to challenge BLU Scout, stabbing a finger at his chest.
"And listen here you inconsiderate ignorant masturbating fuck!"
"Paleoconservative to you, buddy!"
"I'm not a liberal like that RED BLU Scout reactionary, I'm a Syndicalist!" BLU Sniper tells him.
"Syndicalist? The fuck is that?"
"Basically it's the idea that instead of having your "small" bourgeois dictatorship government or the inflated Statism of communism, all the power of governance should be led by numerous labor unions!" BLU Sniper explains.
"From local! To regional! To national representation! And they all have a say in it! It's a marvelous next step in materialistic history! Unlike your hawkish lawyers at D.C, you reactionary!" BLU Sniper proudly proclaims with a sneer.
"Ohhh so you're just another communist, is that it?" BLU Scout says. "Communism, Socialism, Syndicalism, call it what you like! To my knowledge, there is hardly any difference between the three! Now, ain't I right?"
He doesn't let BLU Sniper get a chance to speak.
"Checkmate, Syndicalist!"
"You don't even know what syndicalism is!" BLU Sniper bristled.
The BLU Spy enters from the other room. He heard screaming from the Break Room and raised an eyebrow through his mask.
"Gentlemen, what's going on in here? Haven't you guys had enough alcohol for one day?" He asks.
"Spy, can you just lecture this dipshit Sniper about our reasoning on why we should go back to the Middle East?" BLU Scout asks.
"Get out of here Spy, this reactionary cunt here is making me lose my breath on him. Why don't you go drink more wine?" BLU Sniper says aggressively.
What the hell?
"This came randomly. Start over please." BLU Spy asks. BLU Scout starts to explain what happened that led to their sudden argument.
"Okay so, we were just watching that film that you've sent us, right? And that we went to our rooms to watch the entire shit go down, right? Well turns out that the RED Soldier was based as fuck, right?" BLU Scout explains, "And then we laughed so hard and-"
"Oh for fuck's sake BLU Scout, get to the point!" BLU Spy snaps. He didn't need to hear the full story. He just needed to hear the cause of the problem.
"Jeez!" BLU Scout says, hands up in defense. He points at BLU Sniper. "Okay! Sniper here got so uppity about me calling the RED Soldier based."
"Because he isn't!" BLU Sniper rebukes. "The patriotic maniac said we should have nuked the Taliban and China! Isn't that stupid, Spy?" He says. He points at BLU Scout with a heated glare with his bottle. "Then Scout here says how "just" the U.S. was in intervening in the Middle East."
"Dude just if we've done it, we would have been living in paradise without China spreading misinformation and propaganda everywhere, we could see an age where SJWs aren't crying about everything like racism or slavery or abortion!" BLU Scout argued, matching the Aussie's heated glare with his own.
"I can't believe you idiots are slowly turning into the RED team..." BLU Spy groaned, and offered, "Why can't you just find some sort of compromise and reconcile with each other?"
"Hell no!" BLU Scout refused, shaking his head. "I'm not reconciling with a syndicalist or...communist. Fuck, I dunno!" He shrugs, "Unless he gets his facts and logic correctly then I might reconsider, but he's acting like such a gay ass libtard man!"
"How the hell can I compromise on a reactionary? Just listen to him, he's delusional. He doesn't even know what he's talking about!" BLU Sniper shouts.
"If he can't even respect my opinion which are politically correct and that I'm a syndicalist then why should I respect this reactionary fuck?" BLU Sniper questioned. BLU Scout looked ready to beat his head in, his face tight with rage.
"You people are so incompetent, I can't believe I'm wasting my time with an apathetic conservative and a self-less syndicalist." BLU Spy groaned, holding his head in irritation.
"Who the fuck are you calling me 'Apathetic'?" BLU Scout shouts at BLU Spy with indignation. "Alright bitch, you've just officially joined our political debate, name your ideology right now!" He ordered.
"Scout," BLU Spy puts a hand up, "you should spare yourself from further embarrassment." BLU Scout didn't listen and continued to harass the BLU Frenchman.
"Come on, bitch! Spit it out!"
"Scout, stop it!"
"Do it, pussy! Do it, do it, do it, do it! Come on, say it, you won't, bitch!"
"Scout, I swear to God, stop it!" BLU Spy shouted, his patience running thin very quickly the longer the BLU Scout insulted and baited him.
"Are you too scared you shape shifting rat?!" BLU Scoutmocked him, "Y'know I can smell you from a mile away, like from France I can smell your stinking carcass from fucking Boston!"
BLU Spy closes his eyes tightly, breathing deeply in frustration.
"Scout, leave him out of this!" BLU Sniper shouted, not wanting BLU Spy to get dragged in this conversation where he was right and the reactionary bogan was wrong.
"Oh shut the fuck up Sniper, you know I ain't done with you either!" BLU Scout says, turning his attention back to BLU Sniper.
BLU Spy finally had enough of this, and opened his eyes with righteous anger burning in them.
"You want to debate about politics, you inferior subhuman?" He shouts, "Let's debate about politics!"
"You just woke up the dormant snake...mongrel..." BLU Sniper grumbled at BLU Scout.
"Woah! I think I can guess what you are Spy!" BLU Scout says, to which BLU Spy replied;
"Oh, you think so? Tell me what I am."
"A crazed Libtard!"
"Rrrnk!" BLU Spy made a buzzer noise, his hand closed in a fist. "No you simpleton. I am at the top of the food chain. I am superior to you. I advocate for a caste system. The French are superior to all other people!" He proclaimed, causing BLU Sniper and BLU Scout to go bug-eyed.
"Wait, what the actual fuck?!"
"Are you kidding me?"
"Are you kidding me? I thought you were an actual gentleman, not fuckin Nazi! A French Nazi of all people." BLU Sniper spat angrily.
"A Nazi? What kind of person do you take me for?" BLU Spy says, offended. "I hate Nazis, they are inferior to French people everywhere!"
"This is coming from the guy who hails from the place that surrenders a lot often?" BLU Scout belied brusquely. "Wow! And here we had to save your asses during WW2, this is the thanks we get in return?"
"Oh shit the fuck up, you American halfwit!" BLU Spy shouted, disgust on his face as he looked at BLU Scout. "You should be thankful that your independence was secured by the French. The French are the entire reason for your existence you stupid, uneducated brainlet!"
"I hate to say it, but he kinda has a point." BLU Sniper grunts with a nod.
"Oh yeah?" BLU Scout challenged, "Well we're not the ones who chopped their kings head in half and had numerous of fucking revolutions! What? Was Robespirre not enough to satisfy the blood spilt on French land?!"
"No, as a matter of fact, it wasn't." BLU Spy shook his head, pointing a finger at the boston ingrate.
"We had to draw the entire continent into a huge war to show how superior we were. Take Napoleon for example, he crushed the Austrian armies in northern Italy! And we were victorious from battle to battle!" BLU Spy spoke passionately about his country's historical achievements.
"Did you know that France has the biggest win counts in terms of battles and wars?" He asked, then frowned deeply at his two teammates. "Of course you didn't, because you were too busy making WWII memes!"
"Yeah, what about Vietnam?" BLU Scout countered, "We had to go over there to clean your mess up. The French also cost Hitler's rise with a Versailles treaty. I think they had everything coming at them."
"Okay, for a dumbass conservative he's actually got a point." BLU Sniper points to BLU Scout, "The French are responsible for half of the world's problems today, Spy." He says, then quickly adds, "And I'M NOT defending the British Empire's atrocities, you know."
"Those were only calculated errors." BLU Spy insisted. He was not willing to admit that they were mistakes.
"Calculated errors, my ass." BLU Scout denied. "You failed your colonial empire and you failed your world domination. Except it wasn't. So shut the fuck up, supremacist!"
Before things could escalate any further, the BLU Demoman marched in the room.
"What the bloody hell are you white people talking about?! I am trying to listen to the daily news about Malcolm X." He looked very annoyed at the three of them.
"What's your bloody problem now?" BLU Sniper said.
"Who the hell invited this black Scottish Cyclops into this mess?" BLU Spy demanded, looking at BLU Demoman like the inferior peasant he was.
"I don't know, he invited himself!" BLU Scout said.
"What did ye call me, White boy?!" BLU Demoman angrily demanded.
"'White boy?' Is that how you talk to your French masters?!" BLU Spy shouts.
"MASTERS?!" BLU Demoman roared, waving a fist at BLU Spy. "YOU are the slave here! You are the one who falls under our black boots!" He points to the ground, directly at said boots.
"What is wrong with you? Why are you suddenly calling us White boys?" BLU Sniper asks in confusion. "You must be drunk."
"I ain't bloody drunk!" Demoman snapped at him."I am a legitimate member of the Black Revolutionary Front! Black power!" He cheers, raising a fist.
"A black supremacist? That's not somebody you see everyday, what's next? BLM going to burn down other buildings?" BLU Scout says with a cocky grin.
"Scout, maybe you shouldn't play with fire, or else you'll get burned." BLU Sniper warned.
"And get canceled on that horrendous app called Twitter." BLU Spy added.
"Silence! You whites are going to pay tribute to the people of Africa for your slavery on our continent!" BLU Demoman proclaimed.
"Why the hell should we do that? My ancestors didn't own slaves you fucking moron!" BLU Scout shouts at him.
"I don't give a shit, Scout, you are white! That means you must pay reparations to us!" BLU Demoman says.
"That doesn't mean jack shit! You got your rights around the 60s, why are you still whining and crying about racism?" BLU Scout raised an eyebrow at him.
"In fact," BLU Scout points a finger at BLU Demoman, "you're the ones who are racist in this scenario. Not me."
"As much as I hate this American fuck, he's right." BLU Spy agrees. "You calling us "White Boys" doesn't make your reputation better than ours."
"But Spy, are you forgetting that there are still black killings? Police brutality? Demoman has a point." BLU Scout looks at BLU Sniper like he was an idiot.
"Hey don't look at me. It's the conservatives' problem." BLU Spy raised his hands.
"Oh yeah! Are you scared that a black nation will one day become a superpower!" BLU Demoman said.
"Okay seriously about that "Police brutality", that was uncalled for." BLU Scout says to both BLU Sniper and BLU Demoman. "Sure we killed Floyd in such a cruel way, but I have to say he asked for it!" He says with a shrug.
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" BLU Demoman angrily screamed, offended and outraged by BLU Scout's comment. "A black man was just minding his own business and you white oppressors just so happen to be bored one day, and decided to put HIS KNEE, ON HIS FUCKING NECK?!" He shouts.
"Floyd was under charges of narcotics! If he didn't fucking do drugs, he would have still been alive today!" BLU Scout argue his point, hut BLU Demoman shook his head.
"That doesn't change the fact that the officer, Chauvin, had to lay his knee ON GEORGE FLOYD'S NECK!"
"Okay, yeah what he did was absolutely wrong," BLU Scout admitted, "but like, George Floyd was also in the wrong as well!"
"You're simply wrong in that regard! And you wonder why black people in America fucking HATE white people!" BLU Demoman glowered at them all.
"Now that's not true!" BLU Spy said.
"What?! What do you mean that's not true?" BLU Demoman demanded.
"Actually, he's got a point." BLU Scout says, looking at BLU Spy with a grin. "There's black conservatives out in the world who are opposed to the BLM protests and Antifa!"
"I don't think they are actually conservatives, what if they are paid, benefited to side with them? Or even whitewashed?" BLU Sniper asks.
"Dude, there is the Officer Tatum, the Black Twins, Candace Owens ABL and like literally so many more black conservatives out there!" BLU Scout listed off, "They point out the shit that the Demoman is currently doing!"
BLU Demoman scoffed. "They are all idiots! All of them are traitors to our people!"
The three other men looked at BLU Demoman in disbelief with his stubbornness.
"'Traitors'?! You're so full of shit, Demoman!" BLU Scout called out.
"It's true!" BLU Demoman insisted. "You people are the reason why Africa has warlords, drug lords, crime lords and general chaos on our beloved continent! Most of our people are suffering BECAUSE OF YOU!" He threw an accusing finger at them all.
"Okay that is just wrong as fuck!" BLU Scout says, "You guys had the 60s and forwards to improve your backwatered nations, and so far, the only prospering African nations I see are Rwanda, Tunisia and Nigeria!"
"Rwanda had a genocide and you white folks didn't even send AID!!"
"And guess who were the perpetrators of the Rwandan genocide?" BLU Scout asks with a shit-eating grin. BLU Demoman froze, having fallen into a trap he unknowingly set off. He knew the answer, and so did BLU Scout.
"Yeah that's right, the Hutu," BLU Scout tells him, "which are a group of people who are black, who killed another ethnicity of black people!"
"That's it you mongrel." BLU Sniper shouts at BLU Demoman, "I actually felt bad for you, I actually was empathetic to you. but now I'm just seeing you being a racist." He shook his head in disappointment.
"You're no better than the Confederates with that attitude Demo. You're just asking yourself to be hated by the entire world, I'm gonna have to say you're just a black Hitler, Demoman."
BLU Demoman's rage boils over at the comment.
"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT! YOU THINK BY COMPARING ME TO THE WHITE DICTATOR THAT I'M BAD?" He shouts, pointing at himself before throwing an accusing finger at them all. "YOU DID THIS,.YOU DID THIS TO US! YOU NEED TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"
"YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!!!"
The BLU Heavy suddenly appears and starts roaring very loudly. Everyone starts getting down on their knees and covering their ears, or cradling in themselves. All while screaming in terror at the unexpected ambush.
"Why are you comrades screaming?! Do you not notice that Heavy is eating sandvich?!" BLU Heavy shouts.
"Sandvich? What sandvich? You're not even holding one." BLU Sniper says, pointing at the BLU Heavy's empty hand.
"That is because I already ate it!" He tells him, "Now Heavy demands explanation! Why are you babies screaming?"
"We're debating about politics. Wasting our lives debating about wars, race, and every ideology we believe in!" BLU Spy shouts.
"Heavy, listen, there is a black supremacist! An ultranationalist! And a reactionary in our team!" BLU Sniper tells him. "Can you believe this shit?"
The BLU Heavy looked really surprised at this. His fellow comrades are actively ending up like the stupid, fascist RED Team.
"What?! That goes against our beliefs, comrades!" BLU Heavy says.
"Why do you keep saying that?" BLU Demoman asks, crossing his arms.
"Say what, comrade?"
"That! Why do you keep calling us comrades??" BLU Demoman shouts.
"He's Russian, that's why." BLU Scout tells him, as if it were obvious. BLU Heavy waved a finger at them.
"Not just that, I am a Communist." BLU Heavy says, placing a hand on his chest with a smile. Well, that explains the Soviet hat. His comrades, however, had mixed reactions.
"What the fuck?!"
"A communist?!"
"Oh, merde!"
"A white man's ideology. Just what this world needs." BLU Demoman comments, shaking his head.
"Demo, that is racist!" BLU Heavy admonishes.
"What? Racist?" Demo scoffed. "You want to talk to me about racism, White boy?"
"He's talking about you calling us "white boys" you drunken wretch! You are racist by calling us that!" BLU Spy shouts at the Black Scottish Cyclops.
"Ouch! It hurts when logic hits you, doesn't it?" BLU Scout picked fun at the BLU Demoman, who scowled and held up a fist at him.
"Silence, you moron." BLU Spy ordered. He was still irritated with the Boston peasant's for mocking his pride.
"Black people can be racist you know that?" BLU Sniper says to BLU Demoman, no longer taking his side.
"That ain't true! Black people cannot be racist." BLU Demoman denied, brushing the Bushman off.
"Are you arguing about race?! This is stupid discussion! We are all equals here!" BLU Heavy tells them, insisting that this argument is pointless.
"Not exactly, Heavy." BLU Spy wagged a finger in denial. He points at the BLU Heavy. "French people are superior to every other people. Everyone else is either a worker or a poor peasant."
"Shut up, Spy!" BLU Sniper spat, turning to BLU Heavy. "Heavy, at least you have some sense in you, you also agree that we should fight for equality and representation."
"Дa, it is good to see another communist on team!" BLU Heavy says with a bright smile.
"Yeah, well," BLU Sniper chuckles sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his head "Minus the fact that I'm a Syndicalist, not a Communist."
BLU Heavy raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What? You are not Communist?"
"This dip shit is a Syndicalist, or whatever." BLU Scout tells him, shrugging.
The room paused for a moment before BLU Heavy's face twists in anger and lets out a bellowing roar.
"RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!" Everyone takes a step away from the angry Russian, who points an accusing finger at BLU Sniper specifically.
"YOU ARE COUNTERREVOLUTIONARY!!"
"Oooh, Sniper, your ass is in trouble now." BLU Scout chuckles at BLU Sniper's expense. BLU Sniper gives him a pissed off look as BLU Heavy starts shouting at him.
"Heavy hates counterrevolutionary activity!"
"Heavy, I'm still all in for the proletariat revolution!" BLU Sniper assured, but BLU Heavy shakes his head at him.
"You do not follow Trotsky's way! Permanent Revolution forever!"
"But first we must create base, representation and consensus, by having the labor unions in charge of our governance!" He tells the Russian Tank.
"The workers of the world need to overthrow the capitalist, fascist, and monarchist governments of the world! It is only way to achieve worker's paradise!" BLU Heavy says strongly, his belief absolute.
"Okay that's it! You think by overthrowing us you'll have a paradise? What? Haven't you fucking seen how your precious Soviet Union fell?" BLU Scout argues.
"That was all Gorbachev's fault!" BLU Heavy countered, "And Boris Yeltsin is a traitor to the Soviet Union, and Stalin ruined us!" He smiles, "Vladimir Putin will conquer Ukraine and Belarus and shall restore the new Soviet Union!"
"Yeah and so what?" BLU Scout challenged, "That is evidence that communism barely works! You want to starve your population again like the Holodomor? Go right ahead!" He says, throwing his hand out at BLU Heavy, "Oh and good luck trying to get Ukraine when your army sucks!"
"Ukraine will submit to us, we may have lost over a million of soldiers, but numbers and strength is what wins the war! Ukrainians are so low on manpower that they use babies as reserves!" BLU Heavy insisted, then pointed an accusatory finger at BLU Scout.
"And little man is in no position to speak when they failed in Afghanistan, Libya, Iraq and Syria!" He points out.
"Okay that was all Biden's fault!" BLU Scout refuted, "If Trump was still in power he would have ultimately crush the Taliban, Ba'athist and the Islamic state, but fucking Biden had to ruin everything!"
"Also your economy is barely worth than a fucking Robux, Heavy. A this rate your inflation will skyrocket and surpass even Venezuela's Bolivars!" BLU Scout adds.
The room breaks out into an uproar of laughter. Even BLU Demoman was laughing. BLU Heavy looks at his comrades, a little lost with their supposed humor. As they stopped laughing, BLU Heavy groaned with annoyance.
"Is not funny, sanctions are only hurting Russian citizens! Not government!"
"That is why statism is a parasite that has to be combated. If the statism of the USSR failed, we must be managed by a collective of labor unions Heavy!" BLU Sniper declared positively, hoping BLU Heavy would see reason.
"No! Syndicalism is not communism!" BLU Heavy denied ferociously.
"How is it not?" BLU Sniper challenged with a squint, "It is a better way for us to reach and create the utopia that we so much wish for."
"No! We failed because of capitalist influence!" BLU Heavy tells them. "If we weren't corrupted, The USSR could have survived well into the 21st century!"
"Still jealous about 1991, Heavy?" BLU Scout raises an eyebrow, smirking. "You should be happy you have Democracy! Freedom over tyranny, baby!" He cheers.
"Then why are we still suffering?!" BLU Heavy questions the Boston baby man. "You have no idea how much we have suffered since the 1990s. Because of the capitalists, we are more corrupt than EVER."
"I mean to be fair Scout, Putin turned Russia into a fucking oligarchy. And now they're invading Ukraine which I stand with. Solidarity my Ukrainian Brothers." BLU Sniper says to the fourth wall with a wink, to which the BLU Heavy fiercely shouted;
"You are not even related to the Ukrainians and you wonder why I accuse you of counterrevolutionary Ideals! You are against the Revolution's cause by supporting those fascists in Ukraine." BLU Heavy accused.
"Fascists?!" BLU Sniper was in shock, his face contorting with offended anger at the BLU Heavy. "You are the ones who are invading them! If anything, the Russians are the ones who are the fascists here!"
"You forget your place Sniper, The Azov Battalion is a Neo-Nazi organization. And it is my job to gun them down with my giant gun and kill fascists wherever they may taint Russian soils!" BLU Heavy says.
"Yeah alright fuck the Azov Battalion but come on! You're invading an innocent country!" BLU Sniper reasoned.
"And the Americans weren't?" BLU Heavy challenged, "It is thanks to them, the Middle East is a war zone. Why is it that Russia is the bad country and you Western capitalists are seen as the good country?" He asks, exasperated.
"Maybe because we have free elections, freedom in general, and we don't go around oppressing innocent people. Plus we were fighting islamic terrorists in Iraq, Syria, Libya, Somalia and Afghanistan!" BLU Scout bragged to the BLU Heavy.
"You mean the terrorists that your government funded? Remember ISIS, you bloody mongrel?!" BLU Sniper reminded the "Paleoconservative."
"They represent Islam in a bad name! But at least I can say that they're fighting against imperialists." BLU Demoman says with a smirk.
"Oh so NOW the terrorists who rape, kill, murder and burn, are the good guys just because they are muslims Demo?!" BLU Spy shouted at the Black Scotsman.
"Oh for fuck sake, Spy." BLU Sniper face palmed, groaning.
"What?! I'm not saying that they're justifying their killings on innocent people!" BLU Demoman protested, holding his hands up. "They're fighting against Imperialist puppets! I also support Palestine over fucking Israel!" He adds.
"Oh, of course the fucking black supremacist supports Palestine." BLU Scout rolled his eyes. "What's next? You're gonna try to justify killing the Israeli population? You think by sending missiles from Gaza is going to win the war against Israel? Haven't you heard of the fucking Iron Dome?"
"We will one day push the Jews out of Palestine! And our Muslim brothers will finally be able to rest easily, knowing that no imperialist power can ever enslave us again!"
"As much as I agree with the anti-imperialist sentiment demo, why must you push out the Jews from their homes?" BLU Heavy asks, sounding disappointed.
"Because Heavy, THEY NEVER BELONGED IN PALESTINE!." BLU Demoman answers strongly. The Russian scowls.
"Where the hell are they supposed to go? They were prosecuted everywhere in Europe and Russia." BLU Heavy tells him, and whoever else is listening. "Tell me where they are supposed to go?"
"I don't give a fuck, those semites have oppressed the Palestinians for a long time, they KILLED CHILDREN, HEAVY!" Demoman tried to make him see reason in this, but it doesn't seem to be working.
"You literally have beheaded fucking innocent people, you asshole!!" BLU Scout refuted hotly.
"I'll show you what a beheading is when I cut your head wide open you ignorant fuck!!" BLU Spy threatened, holding his knife up to BLU Scout 's temple.
Suddenly, the ceiling crashed above them and they all screamed in panic. They all covered their heads and ducked as wood fell on top of them. A silhouette appears in front of them.
"What's going on here?!"
It was the BLU Soldier. He had his arms in his hips and an inquisitive frown on his face. BLU Sniper and the rest of the Team stood up from the floor and noticed their patriotic teammate there.
"Oh no, it's that crazy rocket-hopping simpleton." BLU Sniper groans.
"That was random." Soldier comments, his curiosity growing. "Why the hell are you being so antagonistic towards each other?"
"Soldier, please just go back to sleep."
"And miss this yelling and argument? Hell no. I want to know what's going on, ladies."
We are arguing about politics.
"Uhhh why?"
"Because this idiot right here is a crazed psychopath!" BLU Sniper pointed at BLU Scout
"Hey, it's not a bad decision!" BLU Scout defended. "I mean, come the fuck on, The Taliban? Are you fucking seriously going to lecture me on why they should exist?!"
"I'm going to be honest with you, mate. The Taliban are horrible people, but look at what we've done to their country. Imagine if it was YOUR country invaded."
"It's not our fault they decided to be fucking stupid and sent Osama after us during 9/11!"
"So ruining a fucking country is entirely acceptable?!" BLU Sniper shouts. "In what way is that beneficial to ANYBODY?"
"To be fair, Afghanistan was already screwed up since the commies invaded it in 79'." BLU Spy points out.
"Be quiet, you fascist!" BLU Heavy scowled at the French Ultranationalist. "The Afghan workers were being oppressed by their stupid monarchy!"
"Okay, give me one reason why I should give a shit about the government." BLU Soldier says.
Everybody started fussing over in confusion hearing BLU Soldier's words. It sounded wrong hearing that from their most patriotic teammate.
"What do you mean, Soldier? You're the most patriotic here" BLU Sniper says
"It's pretty obvious you people rely on the government to survive in this world, why should we work for them?" BLU Soldier asks.
"Because you can make a living. What are you stupid?" BLU Scout says with disbelief, looking at the Patriot as if he were stupid.
"Are you? Do you really think you need the government to survive on your own?" BLU Soldier asks them all, crossing his arms.
"When I was a kid, I didn't even need to go to school to survive. I can pretty much survive in the wilderness and still feel capable of surviving. I know how to hunt animals and cook food, and what do you people do? Spend your life learning how to waste your time with earning money." He lectures them as if they were the idiotic ones.
"Holy shit! It seems we got an Anarchist here!" BLU Scout shouts.
"Anarchist?" BLU Soldier raises an eyebrow under his helmet. He shakes his head, the straps of his helmet swaying with the motion.
"Negatory! I'm a Darwinist." He tells them. "I don't need some government to ensure my survival when all I can do is blow out some poor wild animal and eat its guts right there and then."
The BLU Team's eyes go wide.
"Holy shit! Soldier, that is immoral!" BLU Sniper tells him.
"Yeah man. Blowing up animals? You're a cruel person." BLU Scout shakes his head.
"Heavy agrees!" BLU Heavy says, feeling disturbed.
"What kind of messed up person blows up animals for food?!" BLU Demoman shouts with disbelief. He gestures over to BLU Sniper with his thumb.
"I bet Sniper here could lecture your day with hunting animals with this rifle if you wanted to." He says, and BLU Sniper nods in agreement.
"The strongest, of course." BLU Soldier tells him.
"So let me get this straight, you're a Darwinist who thinks he doesn't need the government to make a living?" BLU Scout asks, just to make sure he heard right.
"Yes."
"It's no wonder why you have shit for brains. Soldier, I think you really need serious help. Like, even a Libtard could make fun of you."
"What the hell does that mean?" BLU Soldier demands, pointing a finger. "You're the one who wastes their time with going to college and having a job. I don't have neither of those."
If they were disturbed before, they were completely lost now.
"Um...we're mercenaries, dude?" BLU Scout says. He sounds like he's asking a question, but even he honestly doesn't know. How could BLU Soldier NOT have a job, but work for MannCo. at the same time?
"He works free of charge, remember?" BLU Spy reminds him.
"That's right!" BLU Soldier nods, confirming this. "I'm only here because I get paid with food and other necessities to survive in this world. I sometimes eat "spoils of war", if you know what I mean." He winks at them.
They all look at him with deeply disturbed and grossed out expressions. Some even back away from him.
"That...is SICK as fuck!" BLU Demoman says, disgusted. "You're already a weird white boy on my list."
"Will you cut that shit out, Demo? It's racist!" BLU Sniper tells him.
"Black Power!"
"So, it's nice to see that Soldier is a primate, but you honestly don't have any other ideology to share?" BLU Spy asks him. BLU Soldier shakes his head.
"Nope. I think all of you are stupid, I don't need your politics, and I'm basically living perfectly."
"What are y'all folks doing? Why are we gathered around here? Are we watching something?"
They all hear the BLU Engineer coming in, but his voice sounded different. It still retains his southern accent, but it sounded more...synthesized.
"Political banter-" Scout paused as he and the rest of the BLU Team got a good look at their Texan friend. He looked like something straight out of a classic sci-fi movie, covered in metal parts and wires and other bits of technology.
"- aaaaaaand, what the are you wearing?"
"Oh Machine Spirit almighty!" BLU Engineer exclaimed with shocked. "Y'all are ending up like the RED Team yesterday! Why did this have to happen?!"
BLU Sniper got defensive. "Hey, don't shift the blame to us and hold on..." BLU Sniper paused. Something BLU Engineer said was off. "What did you say?"
"That you're ending up like the RED Team?" He raises an eyebrow.
"No, before that."
BLU Engineer didn't know what BLU Sniper meant until he finally understands his confusion.
"Oh, Machine Spirit almighty?"
"Yeah. Why did you say that?" BLU Sniper asks. Everyone else looks at him, wanting to know why he said that just as much as their Syndicalist teammate did.
BLU Engineer was a bit uncomfortable with their crowding looks, but he was happy to explain.
"Uh, I don't know if you realize, but I basically worship machines as gods among men."
"That's even more stupid than that primate over there." BLU Scout tilts his head over to BLU Soldier.
"I'm not afraid to crack your skull and eat your insides, Scout!" BLU Soldier growls at him.
"That sounded wrong in almost any way possible."
BLU Engineer gets in between them to keep them from doing anything they'd regret.
"Hey, hey, no need for violence boys. We all know that the flesh is weak, right?"
"I'm not a stupid moron, but I require meat or vegetables to survive, Engineer!" BLU Soldier tells him.
"Yeah, but by becoming a robot you can practically survive for eternity and you don't need consumables to survive." BLU Engineer tells him. "Well, except for a power recharge."
BLU Demoman crossed his arms, and said, "You may be smart, but you're still a white boy, Engineer!"
SMACK!!
"DAAAAAHH?!!" The BLU Demoman screams as the BLU Heavy slaps him upside the head painfully. He had a scowl on his face.
"Bitch, what the fuck?!" BLU Demoman meets the BLU Heavy's scowl with his own, demanding why Heavy hit him.
"Racism is intolerable to my comrades, Demo!" BLU Heavy admonishes, his large arms crossed.
"Oh Machine Spirit almighty, you're not a Socialist, are you?" BLU Engineer asks, a look of panic on his face.
"So what if Heavy is?" The BLU commie asks. The BLU Engineer suddenly turns hostile.
"So what if you are? You basically are atheists! Atheists are a threat to this presence and our only savior, the Machine Spirit." He says.
"Hey, I agree with you there." BLU Scout says.
"Islam is the best religion, but I agree with you! Nothing is more haram to me than atheist scum!" BLU Demoman says, sharing his agreement with the two white men he despised.
"So what if Heavy is atheist?" He asks them all. "Religion teaches people wrong things. They turn the poor into expendable individuals, giving them a false hope." Heavy says, a pitying look on his face. Determination soon replaced that look. "With the permanent revolution that does not happen!"
"So what if it is? I agree that religion is there people to the masses, but it should be the workers, unions, and syndicalist decisions on what to do with it!" BLU Sniper tells him.
"You know, that's how the Cristero war started." BLU Scout tells the BLU Sniper, scowling. "When idiot atheists get into power, they start pushing their bullshit onto people without authority! The Catholic church in Mexico's lands were being invaded by the government!"
"Hot take," Spy commends, a fair amount of praise in his voice, "but Mexico would have had a better future with our French King." Spy's expression turns sympathetic. "We would know to govern much better than those pardos, and of course maybe they would leave the churches alone."
"Are you babies forgetting that the Cristero War had the Ku Klux Klan fighting there?!" BLU Heavy roars at them.
"They are bad influences of the people! Religion teaches everybody to a brainwashed hope, everybody knows that!"
"You definitely would have been friends with the RED Medic, Heavy." BLU Engineer tells him, "He also believes that science is the only truth, and it's ironic." He looks at the rest of the BLU Team. "You call yourselves atheists, but most of you idiots always worship science as the only truth!"
"And what the hell makes you special with that robotic religion?" BLU Demoman asks, prompting the Theocratic nutcase to look at him. "You're privileged to even do that!"
"I was gifted this power by the machine gods, Demoman. My skin has nothing to do with it." The Texan Theocrat tells him.
"Are you sure you're not some delusional pagan, Engineer?" BLU Scout asks.
"Isn't this coming from a catholic who thinks Jesus Christ, who by the way was a real person, is the son of quote unquote "One God"?" BLU Engineer remarks.
"Oh shut the hell up, you stupid pagan!" BLU Scout shouts.
"You both are stupid! Muhammad is the prophet and messenger of Allah himself!" BLU Demoman proclaims.
Spy holds his temple in irritation, a headache starting to form the longer this continued.
"My God! Religious bigots, idiotic atheists, compromising ideologues, and one fuckin
primitive! What else could be worse than this?!" Spy exclaimed, throwing that same hand holding his head up in the air.
The air suddenly grew tense. All members of the BLU Team jerked in surprise from the sudden tense pressure. They slowly turn to see that the BLU Pyro had joined the room.
Their already strange and malevolent pyromaniac seemed even stranger to them now. He was wearing a uniform and hat, which is nothing new to them since both teams can change their hats and clothes on the battlefield.
The only reason why it's strange for BLU Pyro is because he was wearing a fancy imperialist's uniform and a matching hat to go with the imperialist ensemble.
"Hey there maggot, you starving?" BLU Soldier asks.
The BLU Pyro did not respond in his usual mumble. He was just standing there... menacingly. Silently.
"Um, this is something we can do for you?" Scout asks, unable to keep the slight tremble out of his voice.
Again, no response from the BLU Pyro.
"What is he doing?" Spy asks, his arms crossed.
Instead of answering, again, the Arsonist of the BLU Team walks over to BLU Spy. Deterred and uncomfortable with the BLU Pyro just staring at him and saying nothing, the BLU Spy loses his nerve.
"Get the fuck away from me, you creep!" BLU Spy demands, creasing his eyebrows. He avoided staring into the mumbling arsonist's "eyes" lest he fall into deranged madness.
The BLU Pyro still says nothing and swiftly, almost stiffly turns to face BLU Heavy, Sniper, and Soldier. They all jerked back and cry out in shock.
"What is comrade Pyro doing?" BLU Heavy asks, concerned for his safety.
"And why is he wearing a very formal imperialist uniform?" BLU Sniper asks, just as concerned as the rest of his team.
"What do ye want, you bloody monster?!" BLU Demoman shouts. Even he was unable to keep the rising panic out of his words. His adrenaline spiked when the BLU Pyro slowly turned to eerily stare at him and the BLU Scout.
He turns around, holding his gloved hands behind his back, and walks a couple pages out in front of them.
"Okay, can you just say something please?!" BLU Engineer asks. The continued silence was making them all anxious.
"Uh huh." BLU Pyro's mumbling voice finally breaks the silence.
"He spoke!" BLU Scout says rejuvenately, relieved that most of the tension had passed.
"Okay, can you tell us why you're in such a militarist uniform?"
(Oh nothing, I'm just inspecting you...inferior human beings.)
"Inferior, what the fuck?"
"Who the fuck are ye calling me inferior?! Take off that mask and let's see whos really inferior laddie!!" BLU Demoman demands. t
"No Frenchman is inferior to anybody, mumbling abomination!" BLU Spy angrily shouts in justification.
"The hell is wrong with you?! I've never seen you like this, have you been watching too many movies?"
(Ever heard of... The Burgundy System?)
The BLU Team look at each other, either shrugging their shoulders or shaking their heads.
"Ah...should we?" BLU Scout asks nervously, shrugging his shoulders slightly.
Meanwhile, BLU Heavy's eyes grow wide with alarm!
"Oh my God!!" He cries out, holding the sides of his face in utter shock. The BLU Team look to their Russian Tank and he points an accusing finger at their teammate.
"The Pyro is a Nazi!!"
No! I am more than that! We strive for a pure state, and purge the impurity! One day, the badlands will be a perfect place for an ethnostate!
And I will be able to represent my entire race there.
"Okay, REALLY edgy all the sudden..." BLU Scout mumbles.
BLU Spy pointed at him.
"I don't care what race you are! Burn in hell you mumbling abomination!!" He shouts at him.
("French people are superior" What a laughable joke. Burgundy will rise and dominate your people, someday. We will ensure death to all those who are impure. Pyros everywhere will reign supreme!!!)
The BLU Pyro laughs evilly through his mask, holding his arms up like an evil super villain would.
"Why do you objectively want to be a bad person, Pyro?" BLU Heavy asks, sad to see his comrade fall on this path.
"Okay, now you're just being edgy and cringe! Like, sure, I think French people are kind of dumb, but extermination? Is your head just stuck in an oven or something?"
"You're even more insane than Engineer. At least he doesn't want to exterminate an entire nationality."
BLU Engineer shoots him a smile.
"Thanks, mister."
"SHUT UP!! You're still a theocratic fuckboy, Engineer!!" BLU Sniper shouts at him, causing the cyborg to reel back with a look of hurt and shock.
"Well, is this really what we're doing? Just attacking and being divisive to each other?" BLU Soldier comments, not bothering to hide his displeasure. "We're probably no better than the RED Team guys..."
"No, the color red represents the workers struggle!" BLU Heavy protests. "We are the working class! We are the strongest ones here! Have you ever heard the song: "The Red Army is The Strongest"?"
"Nah." BLU Sniper shakes his head.
"I hate having to see you losers like this." BLU Soldier also shakes his head.
Something the BLU Heavy stuck with the BLU Scout. Thinking about it for a bit, he looks up at the giant man.
"Hey, Heavy?" The BLU Heavy looks down at him.
"What?"
"You claim to fight for the Revolution, right?"
"да. Heavy is fighter for the Permanent Revolution. What is baby Fascist's question?"
"You claim to be a fighter of your precious revolution, and that you see red as a communist color, but Heavy our uniforms are BLU." BLU Scout says, gesturing to everyone present is wearing the color blue.
BLU Heavy looks at his teammates and goes bug-eyed, eyes wide as dinner plates.
"The communist sent to fight the RED team is wearing a BLU uni." The BLU Scout chuckles.
The BLU Heavy mutters a quiet, "What?".
"Checkmate, bitch!"
"WHAT?!?" BLU Heavy shouts.
Scowling, he spreads his legs out and his knees turn inward. He hunches up his bulky shoulders and brings his arms up in a stance similar to what the RED Soldier did. He starts growling very loudly. Everyone present starts to get scared, as they know this won't end well. The only one who didn't seem to take this seriously was the BLU Scout.
"What? Did I touch a nerve or something?" BLU Scout asks the Team, seeing their scared faces.
"Ooooh." BLU Pyro groans, (You shouldn't have told him that our uniforms were BLU, you monkey.)
They see the BLU Heavy's body starts glowing blue and his growling soon turns to screaming in a rising crescendo. Scout turns to see the glowing behemoth.
"What's he gonna do? Scream at us? You have any idea how retarded that is gonna-"
The BLU Heavy throws his hands up in the air and starts roaring loudly like the RED Soldier did. And also just like the RED Soldier, the BLU Commie enters the Uber charge state all on his own. He roars even louder than when he first entered the room. He begins wildly beating on his chest like a rampaging gorilla and starts roaring in people's faces.
He starts grabs BLU Scout by the throat and starts roaring in his face for saying that they were wearing the color BLU, which isn't a communist color! The BLU Scout hangs on for dear life as it flashes before his eyes.
Next he starts roaring at BLU Engineer and his stupid, stupid, STUPID robot religon. The BLU Engineer didn't seem to react to it, but inside his servos and gizmos, he was terrified.
Then he grabs BLU Demoman and starts roaring at him for being a racist Black Supremacist! Arguing about race is stupid!How hard is it to understand that they were all equals?!
The BLU Hwavy would have roared at BLU Sniper for being a counterrevolutionary prick, or BLU Pyro for being an edgy and cringey Nazi dirtbag. He would have roared at any of his fascist teammates, but he was too angry and absorbed in his Soviet Rage that he didn't think about doing that.
The BLU Heavy roars at the ceiling, his voice carried the hatred for the corrupt fascists and capitalists of the world, the enemy to the Permanent Revolution! To the people, to Communism!! To the entirety of the Neo Soviet Union!!
"SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
ZE
FHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK
UP!!!"
BLU Heavy stops roaring in rage and everyone stops looking afraid. They turn to the entrance of the Break Room to see the BLU Medic had finally entered the fray.
"You are all idiots!!" He shouts, looking at his teammates with complete displeasure.
"Doctor you're here!" BLU Heavy cheers, smiling. He gives BLU Pyro a smug grin, as do the rest of the BLU Team. The BLU Medic's eyes are focused on the mumbling arsonist specifically.
"You Pyro!" BLU Medic points. "You represent the Germans in a bad name! Everybody knows that the Kaiser is the better choice than your stupid leader. Imagine being so cringe that you resort to the fucking "Burgundian System"!"
And just like that, the moment was ruined for everyone in the room. They were all so disappointed, but only BLU Sniper and BLU Spy make it verbally known.
"Oh great...a Kaiserboo..." BLU Sniper groans while slowly shaking his head, holding it.
"I, for one, was starting to see hope when Medic was calling him out on his bullshit. But now my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined! Nice one, you Kaiser fanboy!" BLU Spy grumbles, his tone the bitterest it's ever been.
"Oh, still upset that we nearly kicked your asses in World War I?" BLU Medic asks, his smile and tone full of condescending mockery.
"The U.S kicked your asses in World War I, you idiot. U.S Doughboys got shit done!" BLU Scout tells him.
"That is only because we were exhausted!" BLU Medic says in defense.
"Exactly...NEARLY. You're pathetic." BLU Spy replies to his earlier comment.
"We have the Monarchist, the cringy ass Nazi, The weird Machine worshipper, a literal primate, A commie, A racist Black supremacist, a French Ultranationalist and a Syndicalist. What a lovely way to divide the fucking team!" BLU Scout exclaims, incredulous that his teammates were all fucking idiots of different breeds.
"Division of team is not an option. We are all comrades here, and comrades stick together!" BLU Heavy says, still determined to try and keep the team from falling like the Berlin Wall.
"We cannot fall to politics or else we will fall to stupid other team! That is how they lost the battle today!!"
"Rightfully true, but we aren't all Kameraden here." BLU Medic points out. "Some of us are devout to religion, while others are devout to their ideology. Well I say fuck them both! I fight for the restoration of the Kaiser!"
"You are a moron!" BLU Spy shouts, "I can't believe you fight for some pathetic figurehead of a leader."
BLU Medic looks at BLU Spy as if he was the moron. "And I can't believe you fight for a "Caste system" of all things. Don't you know that superiority is like, fucking stupid?"
"Holy shit, based, Medic?" BLU Sniper says.
"Dude, that's my line!" BLU Scout says, but was ultimately ignored.
"Based? Yeah, based than you leftists who prefer to murder an entire royal family!" BLU Medic points in accusation.
"Okay, that was all Lenin's fault." BLU Sniper argued, "I didn't agree on killing the entire royal family, but Tsarist Nicholas II had it coming. He was a dictator."
"Lenin did wise choice! Death to kings and death to tyrants!" BLU Heavy pledged.
"So you had to justify killing off the entire bloodline! What kind of a madman are you?!"
(Didn't you send Lenin to Russia to overthrow the Russian Government? Who was the one responsible for the overthrow of the Russian Monarchy?)
"Pyro brings a good point," BLU Heavy says, then looks over to scowl at him, "but still FUCK you Nazi Scum!!"
(Russian dog!)
"Enough! Shut up! Shut up!" BLU Soldier shouts at everyone. "I can't believe I have to get inside this bullshit and tell everybody here how god-awful their political ideas are!!"
"You don't really have a say in this, Soldier! You're the stupidest one here! As a matter of fact, why don't you just go play ooga booga with some rats or something?" BLU Scout waves him off condescendingly.
BLU Soldier's hands grip around BLU Scout's neck and proceeds to strangle him. BLU Scout's eyes go wide as the Anarcho-primate attempts to crush his windpipe.
I'm tired of you, Scout! You're nothing but a propaganda machine!" BLU Soldier shakes Scout around, the Bostonian choking all the while.
"Can you stop abusing him for just a minute!" BLU Medic tells BLU Soldier. "He may be a complete retard, but hitting him isn't going to change his mind!"
BLU Soldier looks at BLU Scout, a scowl underneath his helmet. He grinds his teeth and throws the skinny Boston kid at the wall.
"There is literally nothing to change his mind about!" BLU Soldier points at their disoriented teammate. "You know he actually believes that white people are going extinct when that is just fucking bullshit!"
"He what?!" The BLU Australian stares at BLU Scout, astonished.
"What do you expect from a paleoconservative? They're so backwatered that they hardly even acknowledge homosexuals. I bet they even want to bring back slavery." BLU Spy snarkily remarks, gazing down at his teammate with a look of disdain.
"Didn't you say that you wanted a cast system?" BLU Engineer asks.
"Yes, and your point is?" BLU Spy raises an eyebrow at the theocratic nutjob.
"You're basically treating lower classes as slaves. That's not pretty cool."
"Oh says the one who worships literal junk as their gods. What are you to tell me that my ideas aren't cool?"
"My machines promise peace and prosperity to all those willing to follow the machine gods!" BLU Engineer shouts at BLU Spy, losing his cool with him for daring to insult the Machine Gods by calling them junk.
"Like hell, it's better than slavery or genocide! You people are a whole herd of messed up cattle!" BLU Engineer shakes his head, hands on his hips.
"Did you just call Heavy a cow?" BLU Heavy narrows his eyes at BLU Engineer.
"Engineer, we do not need technology to survive." BLU Soldier tells the cyborg.
"Of course we do." BLU Engineer argues, "The future is coming and we have the technology to live forever, and you seriously just want to pick your nose and toss your own shit around like a monkey?!"
"Yes, I do. Because machines are dangerous to people." BLU Soldier jabs a finger into the BLU Engineer's chest.
"Do you realize how much damage you have caused on this earth? We literally can't go to some places because you scientists, engineers, researchers, whatever the fuck you want to be called, cause Chernobyl and Fukushima! How about that lake in Russia where if you even remotely go near it, or fucking touch the water, you would die within a matter of seconds?"
"Okay those are accidents, and you know it."
"Accident or not, almost half of the regions of Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Japan, and that Russian lake are entirely unsafe for us to roam around!"
That is why we are learning how to combat those radioactive areas, Soldier, To hopefully not have to wait for centuries for the radioactivity to clear up. It's just pure laziness to wait." BLU Engineer tells him.
"And I do blame the Russian Government for not bringing up that crisis sooner, but it's in the past now. Now we have to deal with Covid-19 because of China's ineptness of containing things!"
BLU Heavy is quick to protest against BLU Engineer's words.
"That is wrong opinion! Our comrades in China we're not lazy, the virus got out of control!" He says.
"You guys literally had to contain a city, and even then they still failed! I bet that was their whole intention this entire time." BLU Scout remarks.
BLU Sniper stares at Scout, his disbelief immeasurable. "Seriously? You think that the Chinese wanted this to happen in the first place?!" BLU Sniper
"Yes! Yes! I do!" BLU Scout screams, looking very riled up. "Because they are trying to make everybody go into debt so that we can be their slaves!! Can't you idiots just open your eyes and see that China was at fault for the Wuhan Virus?!"
"It is not Wuhan Virus, it is COVID 19!" BLU Heavy corrects him.
"Yeah, it ain't Wuhan or Covid-19, It's the fucking China-virus!"
"THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT, COME HERE SCOUT!" BLU Heavy pulls out his Minigun from out of nowhere and aims it at Scout, revving it up and ready to fire.
"Oh that's it!" The BLU Demoman pulls out his own weapon and takes aim, moving from one target to the other.
"I'm going to bomb you! I'm going to bomb you, and bomb your families, and just fucking kill everyone!!" He screams, very ready to follow through with hi threat.
"Not if I have anything to say about that, terrorist!" BLU Scout pulls and aims his pistol at BLU Engineer and BLU Medic, while he aims his Force-o-Nature at BLU Demoman.
"Don't even do it, wanker! I have you at gunpoint!" BLU Sniper shouts as he aims his rifle at the Reactionary fuckwad. He doesn't notice BLU Spy aiming his gun at him and holding his sapper in his other hand.
"You're not the only one who has someone at gunpoint, Sniper." BLU Spy remarks, not just implying that he was ready to shoot him as well.
Everyone had their guns out and ready to fill each other up with lead.
"My Frontier Justice will make you wish you never set a fucking foot on this earth son" BLU Engineer threatened, holding out his one robot hand to the side. "And I'm building up a Sentry to back me up in this mess!"
He quickly built a Level 3 Sentry to stand by his side, ready and waiting to fire. Sentry guns don't normally attack other players of the same team, but the Texan nutcase is able to command them through his cybernetic. The BLU Medic offered him his hand.
"Come on, Engineer! Let's show these morons what a Theocrat and a Monarchist can do!" BLU Medic says. He and BLU Engineer shook hands, forming an alliance, and prepared to fight.
(You're no match for my flamethrower!) BLU Pyro mumbles, holding his flamethrower and aiming for anyone who got too close.
BLU Soldier aimed his gun at BLU Scout while shouldering his RPG. He scowls at him, snarling, "I never liked you scout you conservatives today are just as stupid as the liberals!"
BLU Scout aims his Force-o-Nature at BLU Soldier I'm retaliation. "Nobody takes a primate seriously, man! This is a losing battle for you!"
"FUCK YOU FASCISTS!!!" BLU Heavy roars and starts firing his Minigun at them.
"OH SHIT! FIND COVER!!!" BLU Medic hollers out in panic as everyone runs and dodges the incoming bullet fire.
The BLU Team had ended up even worse than the RED Team. They were actually fighting each other whereas the RED Pyro burned them horribly before a fight could even start.
In a corner, a security camera was watching all of this carnage go down. The lens zooms in closer, silently recording everything that's going on.