CHAPTER FORTY
McKenna couldn't hold back her sigh as Loki's lips swept along her neck. His hair brushed in his wake, cool and soft, and his voice was barely a whisper. "What're you thinking about, darling girl?"
"I'm thinking I'm glad to be home."
"Why?" He gently nipped the side of her neck, which made her chuckle and squirm against him.
"Because I like being here." She gazed at him over her right shoulder. They were in the kitchen, at the French doors overlooking the back deck. The twins were napping, Selig and Aislinn were in the family room playing MarioKart. "When I had to come back here to get those papers, I hated every second of it."
Her smile faded at the memory. "This house just felt so weird when I thought you weren't coming back. I felt like I would suffocate if I had to stay here."
He slid his arms about her waist and tugged her even closer. He said nothing, but nuzzled her softly and brushed a kiss over her ear. Her eyes closed, she leaned her head back against his chest, and just savored the feel of his arms around her.
His arms tightened briefly and he broke the silence as he murmured, "I can imagine."
"No," she shook her head, "you can't possibly. Everywhere I looked, memories haunted me, Loki. I could hear you, I could feel you, I could even see you, but you weren't here." Her throat tightened and her eyes stung and she squeezed them shut. Swallowing against the lump rising in her throat, she murmured, "And I don't ever want to feel that way again."
His hands slipped beneath the bottom of her purple turtleneck to brush her stomach. He brushed her ear with another kiss and whispered, "I will do my best to ensure that never happens again, love. I promise."
She sighed at the gentle stroke of his fingertips against her. "I know." She turned to face him, draping her arms about his neck.
"Daddy, are you going to come play with us?" Selig came into the kitchen, where he stopped in his tracks and his nose wrinkled. "Ugh. More kissing?"
McKenna smiled at him around Loki's shoulder. "No more kissing for now, little man. Daddy is all yours." She turned her smile up to Loki. "Go and play MarioKart while I get dinner ready."
He winked, brushed her lips with a quick kiss, and said, "If you insist, love." He turned to Selig. "Is Aislinn still playing?"
"No. She fell off Rainbow Road and got mad. Then I fell off and I got mad, but I want to try again."
"That's how you get better at it," Loki told him as they walked out of the kitchen.
A few minutes later, both Loki and Selig were yelling at the television as Rainbow Road got the best of them. Neither one of them were particularly skilled at that course and Aislinn finally told them both to quiet down, which made McKenna laugh. She laughed even harder when it got very quiet in the family room.
"I guess we know who's in charge in there," she murmured, moving to the refrigerator to take out the chicken that had been defrosting since that morning, when they first returned home.
She'd missed being home. Asgard was home, too, of course, but this house was their home in a way Asgard never could be. And as she moved to the Viking stove to preheat the oven, she was ever so relieved she didn't have to make the decision whether or not to sell it.
The kitchen was one of her favorite rooms in the house-warm and spacious, with plenty of counter work space and storage space, with a deep sink as well as a smaller sink for washing off vegetables and the like, and a built-in Sub-Zero refrigerator/freezer. A pot rack hung over the center island, the appliances were stainless steel, and she loved every minute she spent in there.
So while Loki and the children played the Wii, McKenna got dinner ready and by six-thirty, the house was filled with delicious aromas that brought all three of them sniffing their way into the kitchen.
After dinner and baths, Aislinn and Selig were tucked away in bed and McKenna settled in Kyra's room, in the glider, where she smiled down as Kyra nursed. "It's so good to be back here, isn't it, little?" she murmured, smoothing a hand over Kyra's soft blonde hair.
Unlike Nicky, her eyes remained blue, and they remained on McKenna the entire time. Occasionally, she smiled up at her mother, which made McKenna smile in return. "You are silly, little one," she whispered, stroking Kyra's cheek. "My silly little girl..."
"Is she answering you?"
McKenna looked up to see Loki lounging in the doorway, arms folded over his chest, legs crossed at the ankles. "Not yet, but I don't think it will be long."
He smiled, uncrossing everything to come into the room. The glider was alongside the window seat, so he perched on the edge of the bench and reached over to smooth Kyra's fluff away from her forehead. "Nicky's asleep, so you're almost off duty."
"Loki, I'm a mom. I'm never off duty."
He lifted his head to smile at her. "And you're doing a marvelous job at it, McKenna."
"Why thank you. I certainly try." She sighed softly as she leaned her head back against the chair. "You know, before you crashed into my life, I didn't even want children."
"Really? Why? I thought every woman dreamed of motherhood."
"Not me. I liked my life the way it was. I had my independence. My freedom. I didn't have anyone to answer to and that was fine with me."
Kyra pushed away and McKenna shifted to bring her to her shoulder. "You have to remember, Loki, my childhood wasn't the happiest. My mom and I were close when I was an adult, but I was pissed off at a lot of things for a long time and made sure she knew it."
"I know that feeling well, love." Loki clasped his hands between his knees.
"Well, compared to you, I was an angel." She grinned, rubbing Kyra's back gently. "But I didn't want any of this."
"And then I appeared to ruin all of your carefully laid plans."
"In a manner of speaking, I guess." She nudged his foot with hers. "But when I looked down at that test stick, in a second I knew I wanted Selig. There was never any doubt. I never even considered not having him. Not for one moment. My only fear was being able to tell you."
Kyra sighed into her neck, her head resting on McKenna's shoulder, and as she gazed down at her youngest daughter, she saw Kyra's eyes were still open. The infant gazed up at her as if she understood every word her mother and father said. Leaning to brush a kiss over Kyra's cheek, she whispered, "All four of you were wanted from the moment I knew about you."
She sat back to find Loki just watching her, an odd expression on his face. She smiled at him. "What's wrong?"
"I cannot imagine you not wanting children, love. Motherhood suits you and it has since you told me I was going to be a father." His voice was soft, his eyes never leaving hers. "And I cannot imagine how you must have felt, finding out you were pregnant and knowing I was locked away in a dungeon, out of reach."
She smiled as Kyra's eyes slowly closed. "I was terrified, Loki. But I talked to Phil Coulson and told him I really needed to speak with Thor. I thought he could get me in to see you, or if nothing else, he could get a message to you." She set the glider in motion as Kyra's breathing grew soft and even. "But all I could think was, 'A baby... damn...' because to be honest, I didn't think my getting pregnant was even possible."
Loki grinned. "I didn't think so, either, to be honest. If I had, there's a good chance not one of these children would be here today."
"Oh, really?"
"Love, I wasn't here with plans on falling in love. Or creating a family." He rose from the bench and gently lifted Kyra from her to bring to her crib. He set her down, covered her, and turned to say, "Remember? I was on the run. When I tried pushing you away, I meant it."
She sighed softly, letting her eyes close. "I know."
The floor creaked softly and his hand closed about hers. A gentle tug, and he drew her to her feet. "I wanted you, love, but I didn't want the entanglement. I didn't want a wife or children."
She forced her eyes open and gazed up at him. "So, if I hadn't gotten pregnant, you wouldn't be here now?"
"I didn't say that."
A heavy sense of sadness settled into her. "Well, you kind of did. Is that why you married me, Loki? Because I was pregnant?"
"No." He caught her face in his hands and held her gaze with serious blue eyes. "I told you I loved you before I even knew you were going to have a baby." His thumbs swept lightly against her cheekbones. "And I asked you to marry me before I knew it as well."
"But it sounds like-"
"McKenna, what was my reaction when you told me you were pregnant?"
Her smile was involuntary. "You said, I look forward to this new life we've created, be it a boy or a girl."
"Does that sound like I was anything other than happy about it?" He tilted her face back and brushed her lips with a light kiss. "Or that I didn't want him? Or you? How can you doubt me after all this time and all we've been through together?"
"I don't," she whispered, her heart beating hard against her ribs. He sounded angry and she really couldn't blame him. "I don't at all, Loki."
"Good." He pressed his forehead against hers. "Because I might not have come looking for you, but I'm ever so thankful that I found you just the same."
She smiled, curling her fingers about his wrists. "So am I, Loki."
"And I am ever so thankful for being so caught up in you that I never stopped to think about the consequences of taking you to bed."
"Caught up in me?"
"Oh, yes..." His eyes closed briefly, and when he opened them again, they were soft and although it was too dark to tell, she assumed green swirled through the blue of his irises. "That morning, I didn't give a damn what could happen. I just wanted you."
She pulled back and gestured to the door. "We should let her sleep."
He slid his arm about her shoulders as they made their way back to the family room and Loki gazed down at her. "You would have had Selig, even if I never got out of the dungeon?"
She nodded. "It never even crossed my mind to not have him. He's your son. He was wanted from the moment I looked down and saw that teeny, tiny little word 'pregnant' on the test stick."
Loki swished his hand and the lights dimmed, the satellite radio came on, and KISS' Forever was playing. He drew her into his arms again and said, "You had to know that once I learned about it, I would have moved heaven and earth to get to you."
"I hoped it wouldn't come to that. And I didn't want Thor to know before you. I didn't want anyone to know before you."
"Which I appreciate."
He swayed against her and she gazed up at him. "You know, for a man who claims to dislike dancing as much as you do, you seem to like dancing an awful lot."
His smile grew mischievous. "I just like how you feel against me, darling girl."
She rolled her eyes. "And that's why we have four children."
"And why you mentioned something about a fifth one?"
"I was probably drunk at the time."
"I don't think so." He bent toward her and as his lips met hers, she melted into him and at that moment, she'd have given in and agreed to anything, as long as he promised to never stop kissing her the way he did just then.