Rudra stirred a little in his sleep and turned to his side. He could feel a familiar presence beside him. He didn't need to open his eyes to know who it was. Shivaay Bhaiya. Rudra's hand automatically made its way to touch his brother. Rudra sighed. His brother was home. He could breathe a little easier now.
Rudra had been waiting in Shivaay's bedroom and had fallen asleep while waiting for Shivaay to return. Stifling a yawn, he rubbed the remainders of sleep from his eyes and looked at his mobile to check the time.
2 : 00 AM
Damn. Rudra cursed himself. He shouldn't have fallen asleep. One more day had gone by and he couldn't spend time with Shivaay. But he was exhausted. Rudra's new Gym venture was in its nascent stage and he was working against time to make it successful. It was tough being an entrepreneur. He smiled. It was even tougher being a CEO of a company. His elder brother somehow always made it look like eating a piece of cake.
Pushing the duvet aside, Rudra sat up. In the darkness, he could see Shivaay's mobile lighting up continuously. He was irritated with it and thought of flipping it over so the light didn't bother Shivaay. He carefully switched on the bedside lamp, dimmed it and walked over to Shivaay's side as silently as he could. He picked up the mobile. It continued to receive messages by the dozen. He had no clue how did Shivaay handle all this. Rudra thanked the stars that the mobile was one a silent mode. Shaking his head, he turned it over and placed it back on the side table. That's when he noticed a strip of some kind of tablets. Frowning, Rudra picked up the strip to check it. It was a painkiller. It was torn right where the details were printed. So he quickly went to the internet and checked the ingredients list. Shivaay had a heart condition and even seemingly normal things could prove to be fatal for him. Over the years, Rudra had grown to be paranoid about the medicines that Shivaay consumed. He might not know the political situation in the country or the nitty-gritty of the business world, but he was well versed with what Shivaay could have or not. So much so, that he didn't even need a prescription. Not that he didn't carry one. His wallet had a copy, his mobile had a properly scanned copy and then he always had a backup of a medicine pack with him at any given time. He simply couldn't take risks with the health of his brother.
Rudra's eyes fell on the pale pink crepe bandage wrapped around Shivaay's right-hand wrist. Ah! The side effects of working on the laptop continuously. That must be the reason he popped the painkiller. Rudra shook his head sadly. He switched off the lamp and walked over to the window. He opened the curtains a little. It was a full moon night. Soft light streamed in the room, suddenly it wasn't that dark anymore and he could see Shivaay more clearly.
Shivaay's always impeccable bouffant had collapsed. His jet black hair now lay carelessly on his forehead. It honestly made him look a lot younger, thought Rudra. He was in a basic white kurta. Rudra liked his brother more this way. Sure he looked amazing in the designer suits but this simpler version was what he craved for - the one where his brother was just Shivaay and not a Oberoi.
Rudra stood by the window and observed the moon for a few moments. Being a businessman wasn't easy. It was tougher when you happened to be the country's rising businessman and also a business family scion. Even as a child, Shivaay had received multiple death threats. They only increased after he became a businessman. He would brush them aside like they were nothing but they did scare Rudra. So Rudra had promised himself that no matter what happened, he would see Shivaay at least once in a day. It was the only way he could assure himself that Shivaay was alright.
It was a ritual that he had religiously kept up since the first time a fourteen-year-old Shivaay had received a death threat. When they were in school, it wasn't a problem. They would get to spend ample time together. When Shivaay left for Cambridge, Rudra had begged his father to put him in one of the schools there so that he could be close to his brother. It had taken a lot of blackmailing, a lot of tantrums and finally suicide threats before the family agreed to send him there. In hindsight, Rudra considered it to be one of the best decisions of his life. Away from the petty fights and bad politics of the Oberoi family, he and Shivaay had the time of their lives while in Cambridge. Sure, they did miss Om but Rudra remembered those few years as his best ones. The natural progression for Rudra was also to secure an admission at Cambridge University as well. But as soon as Shivaay graduated, Rudra had also packed his bags and returned along with him. He just couldn't stay away from Shivaay - even if that cost him studying at a reputed university. His father was levied but it didn't matter as long as he had his brother. The trouble only began after Shivaay started to work at the Oberoi Industries. That started the long working hours, business trips and a schedule busier than the Queen of England. Shivaay would usually leave for the office before Rudra woke up and at night, he would come after Rudra slept. Even on days when Shivaay actually managed to come early, he would be so exhausted that he would just crash and sleep. But still, Rudra managed to find ways to spend time with him. He would diligently face time Shivaay when the latter was on business tours. Or he would simply wait for Shivaay to come home. Like he was doing today. But he had always made it a point to see Shivaay once a day and had kept up with it. Mindlessly, he walked back to the bed and sat down beside a sleeping Shivaay. Rudra placed a gentle hand on Shivaay's forehead. Shivaay stirred slightly at his touch.
"I am here Ru, sleep..." he mumbled and relapsed into a sound sleep. Rudra smiled, any kind of painkillers always made him drowsier but even then, he still was looking after the brother.
All his life, Rudra had tried to block out the strained relationship of his parents. But had he ever been a master of himself? Had he ever managed to leave all the issues behind truly? In the years that followed, everything that could go wrong did. If not for Shivaay, he would have slowly slipped down the vast swamp of despair. Shivaay was his light, his anchor, his saviour. It wasn't for nothing that he called Shivaay his superman. For he was.
Most people thought that he was this frivolous, spoiled, stubborn, rich brat whose only claim to fame was being born into the Oberoi family. But he noticed a lot. He felt a lot. He observed a lot. He just didn't allow any of the darkness to touch his core. His coping mechanism had been starkly different than his older brother, Om. It would have been easier to just pick up the bottle like his mother. It would have been even easier to resort to drugs like Om. And it would have far more easier to turn into what his father had become. But Rudra had seen the kind of effect Om's melancholy had on Shivaay. He simply didn't wish to add to his woes. So he had put on a happy mask, the one that Shivaay found easier to deal with. Over the years, Rudra had perfected the art of playing the family clown. So much so that it had become his second skin. Every time he saw Shivaay in some kind of problem, he felt this burning need to do something for him. He wasn't as equipped as others as far as disaster management was concerned, so he resorted to making his brother smile. That was the least he could do. Pampering Rudra, babying him, gave Shivaay joy. So Rudra let that be. Because really, he would do anything for his Bhaiya.
For a change that night, he watched Shivaay sleep. His handsome features were bathed in the soft moonlight streaming in from the big windows. Rudra caressed Shivaay's hair again, his heart beating painfully. For the first time, Rudra wondered what his brother dreamt of.
What did his brother want in life? Surely sitting in an office cabin and winning deals after deals wasn't his life goal. Well, even if it was, what else did Shivaay actually enjoy? He watched movies and played video games because Rudra wanted him to do so. All the cars in the garage were Rudra's choices. He accompanied Om to art exhibitions and poetry recitations because that was what Om enjoyed. Though he was organized to a tee, it was Jhanvi and Pinky who had done up his room. He diligently performed all religious rituals because Dadi wanted him to do so. He desperately tried to keep the family together because that is what he promised to their late grandfather. He would attend the high society events and parties because he was a Oberoi, not because he liked them. He had slogged to become a celebrated businessman because that is what his mother wanted him to do. A little voice in his head said that his bhaiya enjoyed cooking. Maybe. But then too, Shivaay always cooked his and Om's favourite dishes. Rudra didn't know if he really enjoyed cooking or it was just another means to make Om and him happy. Shivaay never got to be a child. Shivaay grew up so Om, Priyanka and he could live their childhood. How absolutely unfair was it? Had he even dated anyone? Shivaay travelled often but when was the last time Shivaay went on a vacation? Hell, when was the last time he did nothing?
Rudra realized with a wrench how little he actually knew about his elder brother. He had been selfish. The entire family had been selfish. Shivaay had only given them all and expected nothing in return. How fierce was his love and how fickle was their love? Swallowing the huge lump that had formed in his throat, he wondered how long could Shivaay go on like this. How long before they all sucked him dry? On some days, he did look like he would actually crumble under all the pressure, admitted Rudra ruefully.
But he would be damned if he ever allowed that to happen. He was also a Oberoi. He looked at Shivaay sleeping face and made a promise to himself, he was going to make his brother proud. Rudra knew that it would probably take him another birth to do even half of what Shivaay did on a daily basis and he wasn't even going to try. But what he could well was to do everything that was expected from him. He was going to take good care of himself and the family and give the business venture his all. If he didn't face problems, then that would take half the weight off Shivaay's shoulders. Sighing, he made a mental note to talk with Om and Dadi about it as well. Talking with the parents was going to be a pain, but it needed to be done. Neither of them were children anymore who Shivaay's constant babysitting. Everyone needed to stop smothering his brother.
Most of the times, he didn't agree with his Choti Ma. But she was right. Shivaay deserved some happiness for himself as well. He needed to live a little, to relax and enjoy his hard-earned success. Rudra knew what he was going to do with his first paycheck. He was going to gift his brother a nice, relaxing, exotic holiday. Hawaii sounded nice. Maybe, Shivaay could wear a yellow polka-dotted swimming trunk, sunbathe, sip martinis all day long and find a nice date for himself.
Laughing at his own thoughts, he caressed his brother's forehead again. He could already imagine Shivaay's dumbfounded and angry face after receiving this wild gift. But he really deserved it. The deserving part of it was Shivaay's and the outrageous part of it was his. Poor Shivaay would have to just live with it.
Feeling Rudra's hand on his forehead, Shivaay stirred again. He squinted his eyes and looked at Rudra.
"Ru...why are still awake?" Shivaay frowned.
Rudra smiled and removed his hand. "Oops!"
"Please sleep. I am really tired..." Shivaay whimpered and turned his face into the pillow.
"Okay, you sleep," Rudra chuckled. "I am also sleeping."
Shivaay mumbled a yes. But Rudra was disturbing his brother's sleep now. And Shivaay being Shivaay was not going to give up until Rudra had not slept. So Rudra lied down beside him and covered both of them with the duvet.
One day, if he was lucky enough, he was also going to find a good partner. Probably, he would have kids as well. But even then, nothing was going to diminish the love he had for this man sleeping beside him. He was irreplaceable. After all, even if you travel the world, connect with a million new people, you long to come back to your home at the end of the day. That's where were your heart resides, that's where you find solace and peace. Placing a hand on his Bhaiya's, he exhaled, closed his eyes and slipped into a dreamless sleep soon.
Because even if everyone called him a mere wall, Shivaay was Rudra's home.