I speak of ME
All the time because it's all consuming
But there is something else
Sometimes more sinister then
The illness without a cure
Something that is known throughout
The world and millions suffer from
It's not new
Or special
Or even that worrisome to many
Until it's too late
I am depressed
It's not a confession of some
Deep dark secret
It's a known fact
Since I was a teenager
Except....
Now because of the illness
Constantly referred by me
I have MDD
Major Depressive Disorder
The one that kills
In the blink of an eye
Without warning
Or a note
Every day is a battle
To actually understand
The plus side of still being here
I'm not religious
I'm not afraid of death
In fact for me
I would join my guardian angels
So what's so bad about it?
Death is easy
Life is hard
Death is only the beginning after all
Or end for those of us that are old souls
Some people belong on this planet
And perhaps I've worn out my welcome
What good do I do for people or
Even for myself anymore?
Who the hell outside my microscopic
Immediate family
Would even notice the difference?
I guess I'll let the fates decide.
I'm too worn out to do anything
About me it myself.
Too much trouble
I got no more energy left for this
Pathetic existence.
What good are my past accomplishments
If I can't do anything with them?
Yes I am depressed
And who gives a fucking damn?
Not even sure I do myself anymore
Just keep writing about it
Until I write it out of my system
Maybe it'll go away then
And take me with it!
So in the meantime.....
Just keep breathing until my time is up.