March, 3, 2022
Mateo
10:00am
“Okay today is the day” I told myself in the mirror in the bathroom
I slept in since I kept myself up by overthinking too much. It seemed like each minute that passed by the more flaws I found on my body; Not only just my stomach anymore.
Now it was the awkward hair that grew around my body, the pimples around my thighs, the freckles that sprinkled around my body.
I thought about telling Rufus that I wanted to wait longer but I didn't want to disappoint him especially since he took the time and effort to buy everything we would need.
It's too late to back out now
I'm not meeting Rufus until later so I need to mentally prepare myself, So many thoughts were going through my mind.
I thought maybe I could just keep my shirt on but that would be weird and I would get all sweaty and gross.
I thought maybe we could do it with the lights off but Rufus would probably want the lights on.
I also thought about lying saying I got sick but I knew Rufus would come over and check on me and find out I was lying.
All I could do was go there and relax and prepare myself for what would happen.
"Okay I can do this" I sighed and grabbed my phone and decided to read something to calm me down
I went to my old account on WriteMe.Net
and started scrolling through some old fanfictions I used to read when I was younger and found an old one I used to read a lot.
I clicked on it mostly for nostalgia value and I read the first chapter which was immediately about Harry from Harry Potter going down on Ron.
Totally forgot I shipped them so hard when I was like 14
I scrolled through it wondering how younger me could possibly have enjoyed this so much when an idea came to me.
If I focused on Rufus and made him happy he wouldn't notice my stomach or my body.
I exited out of my account and started doing some research for tonight.